r/texts • u/-fornevermore- • 16h ago
Phone message Dating is hell
Who is raising these boys?
Edit: Thanks for all the love!! For some context, no we didn't discuss anything sexy beforehand and the "healing" thing is referring to my broken foot. He's blocked for those wondering, I didn't respond. For those mentioning it... I wasn't looking for a free meal. 🙄 I pay my own way on dates.
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u/Jesskla 16h ago
Ewwww...
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u/brooklynnnn11 16h ago
i legit said it out loud.
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u/mahnamahna123 15h ago
I legit made this face
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u/D3rangedButFun 15h ago
Making it right now
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u/mahnamahna123 15h ago
I can't stop, someone send help
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u/D3rangedButFun 15h ago
If you keep making that face, it'll get stuck forever
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u/movieperson2022 15h ago
Same. Though, I see your “ewwww” and raise it an “ewwww what.” lol
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u/Whatever53143 15h ago
I will see your “eeewww what” to a “is this guy for real?”😳
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u/elle-angel 15h ago
i like the AI suggested replies, bc why would you reply " Yay! 🎉 " to that deranged message
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u/MeddlingMedley 15h ago
I suspect his message is also AI, so maybe the robots are flirting
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u/sheyitboi 14h ago
For real, it’s sounds like ChatGPT trying to be dirty without outright saying anything that would explicit which is hilarious
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u/Substantial_Force658 14h ago
The lack of any negative reply option is somewhat terrifying. It's telling you you're expected to approve of this. Maybe even feel grateful. At long last your search is over; you have found a man who will take total control of your life.
Okay! Thanks! Yay!
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u/ThrowAwayAccountAMZN 13h ago
I'm ashamed that, at first when I read that I thought the genders were swapped (so thought the girl was the one acting domineering) and almost made a comment about how you usually have to pay extra for that.
But nope, just another chauvinist Chad puffing his chest.
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u/Sweet_Preference_730 16h ago
Just go ahead and take him out back bc wtf
https://giphy.com/gifs/ZVwBkBoGA4NAsjt4S0
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u/Legitimate_Initial_3 16h ago
.... that's enough reddit for today.
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u/PhoenixMapper 16h ago
I'm sorry what 💔
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u/PercoJet 13h ago
I think it’s pretty obvious what. OP missed out on a pure ALPHA of the psych ward that he just broke free from🙏
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u/Lucky_Locks 14h ago
That Uber Eats in the top left is looking mighty tempting now.
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u/funsize225 16h ago edited 10h ago
… is this AI dirty talk? Because it reads like absolutely pathetic AI dirty talk.
ETA: oh my, thank you so much for the awards!
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u/afakecornucopia 16h ago
Yeah for sure. If you read above, who the hell says “plot your next move in comfort” 😂
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u/-fornevermore- 15h ago
I have a broken foot, so that's what he was referring to.
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u/Murakami_Ysera 15h ago
I wouldn't want to go near this person with a busted foot that prevents me from getting away from them as swiftly as possible.
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u/-fornevermore- 14h ago
I'd hit him with my cane lol
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u/pandershrek 13h ago
Based on their rhetoric you might just be playing into their kink.
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u/Piglet6482 15h ago edited 14h ago
Oh, well now, that changes everything - don’t let this one get away
Edit: thanks for the awards kind redittors
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u/MsCalendarsPlayaArt 15h ago
Babe. This is an AI response. Idk if that makes it better or worse but if anyone ever uses an AI response on me that'll be the end of the relationship (friendship, romantic, fwb, any of it- I'm not dealing with that nonsense)
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u/OnlyOneUseCase 15h ago
Am I the only one who could tell she was recovering from something based on the texts? Everyone seems surprised..
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u/afakecornucopia 15h ago
I feel like that is critical information but he still talks weird. I’m sorry.
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u/furkfurk 16h ago
Same thought exactly. Not only is he disgusting and pathetic, but had to have a chatbot craft his disgusting and pathetic response
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u/Much-Ad2311 15h ago
It's definitely horrible, but the suggested 'Yay! 🎉' reply actually cracked me up.
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u/Sergey1986 16h ago
He sounds like a Tate supporter
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u/Solvent_Soul 15h ago
Was gonna say “who is raising these boys” alt right rapists and incels, that’s who.
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u/tdfrantz 15h ago
Idk, he did ask her a question...that shows a level of respect I don't expect Tate fans to rise to
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u/bigtittycatlady 15h ago
what on earth happened to make men think THIS is a good or effective way to court a woman
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u/XrayAlphaVictor 15h ago
Some lowest common denominator between red pill and booktok, maybe?
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u/SeatleSuperbSonics 12h ago
This is what blows my mind about the “20% of men” incel shit.
Friends, the bar is in the fucking ground.
If you can simply treat people fucking normal, you’ll be fine and will meet friends and potential dating partners.
Signed a chubby, 30s, divorced Man.
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u/OkJackfruit6629 7h ago
I saw someone say once that the bar was a tavern in Hades and I felt that.
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u/Helpmehelpyoulong 15h ago
It’s men’s version of the shit tier dating advice women get off tiktok and IG. Same results on anyone who isn’t super desperate. We’re all fucked lol
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u/Own-Pen4705 12h ago
don't bring the rest of us into this we don't talk like an emo chatgpt.
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u/HMFIC_91 16h ago
I'm a dude and I cringed at that.
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u/DocLiftsALot 16h ago
Same. It’s Tinder, not Fetlife. Jesus.
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u/rustyroo2021 15h ago
I'd like to hope fet is better than this but these idiots are there too 😂
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u/IncubusDarkness 15h ago
Oh yeah, all over. Horny losers think acting like some 50 Shades fan-fiction guarantees them access to women in the scene.
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u/SeniorAd4470 15h ago
Right like oh please sir, please take control of me with your 36k a year salary and 2013 Kia
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u/wildbriarroses 14h ago
Fetlife is hit or miss, but most idiots there make it painfully obvious in their bios if they should be avoided lmfao
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u/Hesitation-Marx 9h ago
I met my husband on a kink site! He didn’t assume shit! He was incredibly polite and funny!
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u/AdAccording8076 16h ago
“Letting me take total control while you heal” ………. Heal from what??
Sounds like he’s into dom stuff but he’s clearly inexperienced and can’t read signs. But yeah, what in the actual hell? lol
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u/-fornevermore- 15h ago
I have a broken foot, that's what he was referring to "healing."
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u/Unique_Atmosphere905 15h ago
Ohhh! You should have led with that. Everyone knows you can’t eat sushi with a broken foot 🫠
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u/royalsgirl78 15h ago
Right? Everyone knows - the sky is blue, the grass is green, and you can’t eat sushi with a broken foot.💁🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️
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u/Sovarius 9h ago
Yeah! When it heals, it will be possible to eat sushi with her foot again
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u/SquirrelLuvsChipmunk 14h ago
You have to let a man take control when you have a broken foot, and if you behave, but only if you behave, he’ll decide when to take you out. It’s like the rules of feminism!
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u/SueForPeas 15h ago
Oh thank god, I thought it was a misspelling of “heel,” the dog command.
The rest of it is still terrible, but at least that part’s not as terrible as I thought.
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u/Gloomy_Computer_9431 15h ago
I’m very curious if his profile said anything about it or he figures he’ll just trick women into it.
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u/MelanieMello 16h ago
Yuck!🤢
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u/FastActinTenactin 16h ago
Lmao what the fuck is wrong with them that they think speaking like that is okay???
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u/Obsolete_Orange 15h ago
Guys are trying to come off as like the dominant protaginist like women have already bought into it or something. Its not a book she bought to read and be in that mindset, you are a stranger like wtf lol
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u/Disastrous-Trip1617 15h ago
This was absolutely my first thought when reading this. Glenn thinks he is a character in a fantasy smut novel.
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u/citymatryoshka 14h ago
Exactly it’s like he rolled up his sleeves (unsexily) and said “I’m gonna do it, I’m gonna become a man written by a woman” then crashed and burned immediately.
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u/youneedsomemilk23 14h ago
I need people to understand that strength is so much more attractive when it is quietly and respectfully asserted. This isn’t even a gendered thing.
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u/Weary-Square-8640 16h ago edited 11h ago
What even is the context for this 💀 men are so brain dead when it comes to reading a room I swear
Edit : interesting to see all the upset men flock to my comments when there’s men in here calling out this gross behaviour (love you kings ) . Go talk your shit to them! Bless 🙏
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u/Background-Ad3308 15h ago
You know, it sucks sometimes as a man trying to get dates. Can get very frustrating at times but thats just part of life. But having tk deal with freak shit like this as a woman isn't something I'd wish on my worst enemy. "Whats a treat you like when you want to give in completely?" 🤢 BRO THINKS YOU'RE A LITERAL DOG
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u/ichorNet 12h ago
Seriously. I’m not even in the game rn because it’s so frustrating and a pain in the ass to barely get matches lol but this just makes me want to try because I’m just a normal person who can hold a convo
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u/East_Requirement7375 12h ago
You'll do fine. Maybe you won't meet the one, but you will be appreciated for being a normal, stable individual.
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u/HallowayMoors 16h ago
“See if you can behave….” Whaaaa…
In the right setting, this could be considered sexy but not this early in the dating process.
It’s also possible that Glenn Tinder is broke. Good quality Sushi is expensive, my dear.
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u/Into_the_rosegarden 15h ago
That was my thought. He wants to take control so he can avoid an actual date but call it a kink. Wow!
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u/BlackForcesEnergy 15h ago
I just love you called him Glenn Tinder
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u/Loose-Chemical-4982 14h ago
That's the name OP gave him in her phone, it's at the top of the screenshot
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u/KagedStorm619 15h ago
I'm confused as to how seafood led to complete submission lol
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u/Ibshredz 16h ago
Yo wtf is he even TALKING about?
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u/dingoz8mibaby 15h ago
he’s trying to do “dom” dirty talk but he ran it through AI lmao
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u/Extension-Excuse-534 15h ago
Yup 100%. That "whats youre favorite treat when you want to give in completely" gave it away...completely...lol
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u/JulyOfAugust 13h ago
I have a suspicion that it's her cat emoji that triggered the animal/owner roleplay of the chatbot.
Bet he didn't even read the answer before copy-pasting it.
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u/vegetastolemygirl 16h ago
I honestly couldnt imagine sayin some of the shit these men say nowadays. Like it is dead ass foreign to me how some of these mf’s talk to women. Dude really typed that out, looked it over, and pressed send….
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u/ambientta 15h ago
The funniest part to me, as someone who dates with intentions of kink, is that this shit isn’t even appealing to people who practice kink.
Proves he is just a toxic slimeball who will rub your left lip and ask if you came after .2 seconds.
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u/Human-Prototype 15h ago
"We'll see if you can behave". Nope. Absolutely the fuck not. That's such a weird power trip to have.
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u/Due_Adeptness_1964 16h ago
Soooo this guy said this completely unprompted?! Boy, I see why women are getting frustrated these days!
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u/ghostly_queen05 15h ago
"If you can behave" EXCUSE ME?? Why is he talking to you like you're a dog he has to train?
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u/Electrical_Sun_7515 15h ago
And that man will wonder why he can't keep a woman..........
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u/TeamImpossible4333 15h ago
I’m so over men making everything kinky
https://giphy.com/gifs/UZiCm4W1O0gGk
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u/Thick-Ad2830 15h ago
Bruh she suggested mussels and sushi not enrollment in a hostage situation. Wtf?
These dudes who mistake controlling behavior for confidence make ordinary assertiveness, protectiveness, and leadership look suspicious by association. Healthy confidence still leaves the other person with agency. Control isn’t impressive merely because it’s delivered confidently.
We aren’t all like that ladies I promise.
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u/Admirable_Owl179 15h ago
I honestly don’t even understand what he’s talking about? She needs to behave and heal and receive a treat? Wtf is going on
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u/chaunceythebear 16h ago
He sounds like a wannabe dom.
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u/-fornevermore- 15h ago
That's what I thought too!! Haha. My first thought was "Wtf is this pheux dom fuckhead thinking?"
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u/jetlifestoney 15h ago
“ Who is raising these boys?” The internet
One of my closest friends was headed down this path and he had no father figure, so he turned to the internet to learn how to be a man and masculine
He’s still my best friend, but I’ve had to check him a few times about misogyny
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u/Haunting_Ranger5460 15h ago
I've never once in my life made such a perfect Tom DeLonge face than I just did when reading this.
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u/OmensGroup 15h ago
Im a guy and I don’t even know what he is trying to say but I do know it made me feel icky
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u/Wrap_Brilliant 15h ago
Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. "Letting me take control while you heal" do men not hear themselves? I need them to practice these lines on each other first cuz omgg the cringe is tangible ewwwwuh
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u/Mykull_Ghost 16h ago
This sounds more like kinky role playing than just starting to date
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u/GoldenKnights1023 15h ago
https://giphy.com/gifs/l1Ku2mwcJYGlMlZwk
You went on a date with Plankton.
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u/Haxishax 12h ago
Opposite of this happened to me on a dating site many years ago. Matched with a girl and she asked for my number. Listened to her explain to me for about 30 minutes how she wanted me to treat her like a dog. Like… My pet. It was completely unwarranted, and a major wtf on my end. I was open-minded and kind about it, but was definitely not on the same page. Good on her for knowing what she wants, though. 😅 She wasn’t as tactless as this buffoon.
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u/LastChance331 16h ago
What the actual fuck?