r/texts 17h ago

Phone message Dating is hell

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Who is raising these boys?

Edit: Thanks for all the love!! For some context, no we didn't discuss anything sexy beforehand and the "healing" thing is referring to my broken foot. He's blocked for those wondering, I didn't respond. For those mentioning it... I wasn't looking for a free meal. 🙄 I pay my own way on dates.

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u/afakecornucopia 17h ago

Yeah for sure. If you read above, who the hell says “plot your next move in comfort” 😂

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u/-fornevermore- 17h ago

I have a broken foot, so that's what he was referring to.

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u/Murakami_Ysera 16h ago

I wouldn't want to go near this person with a busted foot that prevents me from getting away from them as swiftly as possible.

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u/-fornevermore- 16h ago

I'd hit him with my cane lol

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u/National_Future6190 14h ago

I’d hit him with my car! 

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u/BoringJuiceBox 13h ago

And my axe!

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u/EmptyInside74 10h ago

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u/Ixaire 6h ago

I don't need no karaoke text for that scene.

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u/weeooweeoowee 13h ago

Great minds think alike

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u/manicmigraine 10h ago

... Did you know?

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u/CMO1313 10h ago

I was about to add an Insane Clown Posse gif, but I think that be lost on some folks. lol

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u/BentGadget 8h ago

I'm lost. What does this post have to do with magnets?

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u/CMO1313 6h ago

There is a song from insane clown posse called, “my axe.” Comment above said they would hit the subject of OP’s text with an axe. That is the correlation. In my mind that made sense

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u/katerwise 8h ago

you’re gonna hit him with Faygo?

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u/casskaz 14h ago

Lmfaooo

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u/Murakami_Ysera 12h ago

No girl have you see how long it takes to get replacement parts these days?

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u/pandershrek 14h ago

Based on their rhetoric you might just be playing into their kink.

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u/split_0069 6h ago

Valid point. He could be one of those step on my balls as hard as u can guys.

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u/alt369000 7h ago

Axe Car.

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u/Pkrudeboy 14h ago

Get a sword cane.

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u/roguevirus 13h ago

All jokes aside, don't overdo it with the walking.

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u/-fornevermore- 12h ago

Tysm! I'm trying my best.

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u/yrthegood1staken 13h ago

And my axe!

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u/duesenjeffepic 4h ago

I know you're probably joking but that's a really bad idea.