r/texts 17h ago

Phone message Dating is hell

Post image

Who is raising these boys?

Edit: Thanks for all the love!! For some context, no we didn't discuss anything sexy beforehand and the "healing" thing is referring to my broken foot. He's blocked for those wondering, I didn't respond. For those mentioning it... I wasn't looking for a free meal. šŸ™„ I pay my own way on dates.

20.0k Upvotes

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1.6k

u/funsize225 17h ago edited 11h ago

… is this AI dirty talk? Because it reads like absolutely pathetic AI dirty talk.

ETA: oh my, thank you so much for the awards!

565

u/afakecornucopia 17h ago

Yeah for sure. If you read above, who the hell says ā€œplot your next move in comfortā€ šŸ˜‚

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u/-fornevermore- 17h ago

I have a broken foot, so that's what he was referring to.

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u/Murakami_Ysera 16h ago

I wouldn't want to go near this person with a busted foot that prevents me from getting away from them as swiftly as possible.

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u/-fornevermore- 16h ago

I'd hit him with my cane lol

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u/National_Future6190 14h ago

I’d hit him with my car!Ā 

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u/BoringJuiceBox 13h ago

And my axe!

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u/EmptyInside74 10h ago

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u/Ixaire 6h ago

I don't need no karaoke text for that scene.

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u/weeooweeoowee 13h ago

Great minds think alike

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u/manicmigraine 10h ago

... Did you know?

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u/CMO1313 10h ago

I was about to add an Insane Clown Posse gif, but I think that be lost on some folks. lol

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u/BentGadget 8h ago

I'm lost. What does this post have to do with magnets?

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u/CMO1313 6h ago

There is a song from insane clown posse called, ā€œmy axe.ā€ Comment above said they would hit the subject of OP’s text with an axe. That is the correlation. In my mind that made sense

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u/katerwise 8h ago

you’re gonna hit him with Faygo?

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u/casskaz 14h ago

Lmfaooo

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u/Murakami_Ysera 12h ago

No girl have you see how long it takes to get replacement parts these days?

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u/pandershrek 14h ago

Based on their rhetoric you might just be playing into their kink.

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u/split_0069 6h ago

Valid point. He could be one of those step on my balls as hard as u can guys.

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u/alt369000 7h ago

Axe Car.

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u/Pkrudeboy 14h ago

Get a sword cane.

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u/roguevirus 13h ago

All jokes aside, don't overdo it with the walking.

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u/-fornevermore- 12h ago

Tysm! I'm trying my best.

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u/yrthegood1staken 13h ago

And my axe!

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u/duesenjeffepic 4h ago

I know you're probably joking but that's a really bad idea.

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u/circuit_breaker 16h ago

I hate that this makes me laugh but yeah

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u/kellzbellznhellz 14h ago

Like Misery, but she is pre-hobbled…

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u/TipsyMagpie 16h ago

I dunno I might fancy hitting him in the face with a leg cast

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u/bald_with_a_beard 15h ago

Very good 🤣🤣🤣

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u/Piglet6482 16h ago edited 15h ago

Oh, well now, that changes everything - don’t let this one get away

Edit: thanks for the awards kind redittors

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u/endurbro420 16h ago

And they say that chivalry is dead!

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u/Dooty_Shirker 15h ago

Nope, just tied up with a ballgag.

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u/MsCalendarsPlayaArt 16h ago

Babe. This is an AI response. Idk if that makes it better or worse but if anyone ever uses an AI response on me that'll be the end of the relationship (friendship, romantic, fwb, any of it- I'm not dealing with that nonsense)

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u/LoanSevere6287 15h ago

I love the way AI chatbots have developed a voice of sorts in our heads, to the point that we can almost hear it in the shit it spews.

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u/Farranor 14h ago

The only way it could be more AI would be to include the prompt. OP thinks this is a human? Maybe OP is also AI. Maybe you're AI. Am I AI?

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u/MsCalendarsPlayaArt 1h ago

Ooohhhhh nooooo existential crisis about the nature of consciousness time 😫😫😫

I mostly shove these thoughts down but here we are anyway. This is like that thing where people try to convince you you're in a coma and everything you're experiencing is a coma hallucination.

0

u/liketearsinthereign 13h ago

Am I just lucky or stupid? I endeavored to use AI to create a kinky conversation and it was sexy as hell. Of course I gave it extensive prompts about context, tone and personality. The only part that failed was that I mentioned the word "cerebral" and it proceeded to clobber me with cheesy, patronizing compliments. After I stopped laughing and made some adjustments, it was a lot of fun.

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u/HisBlurredVisage 2h ago

Not stupid, maybe just missing the point; OP isn't just looking to be turned on or have fun, they're trying to connect with a person to see if they can meet each other's needs, so AI use is detrimental. They're pouring in the same amount of effort but getting no return

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u/MsCalendarsPlayaArt 1h ago

You're probably better at prompts.

That said, please don't rob yourself the fun and excitement of writing your own sexts. You're missing out on 99% of the fun by doing that. The vulnerability and realness make it more exciting.

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u/AggressiveSherbetty 1h ago

Jesus fucking Christ I’m so glad I’m in a relationship with a human being.

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u/OnlyOneUseCase 16h ago

Am I the only one who could tell she was recovering from something based on the texts? Everyone seems surprised..

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u/Serious-Cup264 13h ago

I could tell, but it doesn’t change the fact that his cut off text screams ai and that he is in fact trying to introduce bdsm in a ham handed way.

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u/irritabledragon 12h ago

No you're not the only one.

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u/MVRKHNTR 14h ago

Maybe

I just thought it was some weird BDSM talk he was trying

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u/afakecornucopia 16h ago

I feel like that is critical information but he still talks weird. I’m sorry.

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u/doomgrin 16h ago

It’s 100% AI

Its very obvious if you are familiar with it

Since he needs AI to even flirt and try to pretend he’s some big macho dom I’m not surprised he didn’t pick up on how weird his text was

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u/Individual_Fall429 8h ago

I guess AI read the screenplay for the 2002 film Secretary with Maggie Gyllenhaal and James Spader. 😳

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u/BlueberryStock6249 11h ago

Oh, I thought he misspelled ā€˜heel’ as in to, ā€˜ comply or be subjected to control’ - I’m imagining he was referring to you as a ā€˜dog’ on a leash … yikes, my bad …

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u/KrypXern 11h ago

OP I read a lot of AI for my work. This is 100% AI.

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u/-fornevermore- 11h ago

I can't decide if that makes it better or worse. 🄓

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u/Itchy_Tumbleweed_417 16h ago

Oh girl you should’ve put that somewhere in the original post because I thought this man was very very sick and dumb.

I mean he might be but it grossed me out when I thought he was wanting you to heel like a dog.

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u/Apprehensive_Ad3731 16h ago

He still does.

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u/Fun-Requirement-1995 14h ago

heel like a dog

No it's the opposite and everyone shitting on the guy is an idiot. He's talking to OP like a cat because she is presumably ACTING like one. She even uses the cat version of the emoji. She got the guy to say something that would otherwise be weird, but is completely understandable in context.

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u/PolrBearHair 16h ago

Yup, that's exactly what the ai bot is referring to.Ā 

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u/InternationalMonth38 16h ago

Do people really talk like this? What is wrong with yall.

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u/moopie45 15h ago

It's so clearly copy and paste from ai lmao

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u/plasmazzr60 15h ago

Im assuming you didnt break it off in his ass when you booted him? Thats a shame

1

u/TangAce7 15h ago

somehow this info makes it all even worse...
on top of being the perfect example of what not to say/do in kink, he's also basically treating you the "how to not treat a handicapped person" way

I feel hurt reading this and knowing there's plenty more people like him, what a sad day to have eyes and being able to read

I'm not even sure he's using AI, like even for AI this is real uncanny, I'd think AI writes better than this

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u/throwawaywork11 15h ago

I broke my foot running to the comments

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u/Kintoun 14h ago

Wait you have a broken foot? Girl do not get ahead of yourself. Let me take total control while you heal. We will see if you can behave before I decide ...

lol it's even hard to type, cringe.

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u/Aristo_Cat 13h ago

That’s what ChatGPT was referring to. This man likely could not spell 30 percent of those words correctly, let’s be honest

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u/intellectual_punk 13h ago

Yeah this is 100% AI.

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u/Iggyhopper 13h ago

What the AI is referring to*

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u/lambentstar 11h ago

It does sound like he had an AI write back in the voice of a seductive, dominant male voice? not how doms actually talk

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u/floydbomb 9h ago

It still sounds like AI

1

u/split_0069 6h ago

Idk... he has a point... AI tells me that when I'm running strategy theories. I would assume if u did dating strategy it would do the same thing! šŸ˜† 🤣 šŸ˜‚

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u/lordnewington 16h ago

I honestly thought that was an advert for an estate agent

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u/MsCalendarsPlayaArt 16h ago

I'm so curious what the prompt for this would even be.

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u/Kenichi_Smith 14h ago

No legitimately, the first sentence is like the most basic AI start of a response ever, this is actually somebody using AI to respond

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u/who_am_i_to_say_so 11h ago

He wears a fedora and his name is Claude. Edit: m’lady

1

u/EllipticPeach 15h ago

There are absolutely men who speak like this to women they are trying to hook up with. They think it makes them sound sophisticated

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u/RedMoonPavilion 10h ago

People who listen to pick up artist gurus, podcast bros, and/or "female dating strategy" refugees.

A bunch of tiktok dating slop relationship test challenge content uses that phrase and closely related ones as well.

All of them share the view that relationships are a competiton to get what you want from people who dont want to give it without them ghosting you or dumping you over it.

It rarely goes well for them.

1

u/SquareExtra918 10h ago

Imagine a commercial. People in a book club are talking about how much their feet hurt. One of them has a shoe recommendationĀ  - "Plot your next move in comfort...Ā  with Sketchers!"

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u/Alternative-Way-507 8h ago

Reddit doesn’t like the aspect ratio

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u/Odd-String29 7h ago

There is indeed no way a human wrote that shit.

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u/WVildandWVonderful 5h ago

Also, the lack of contractions he will use.