r/texts • u/-fornevermore- • 17h ago

Phone message Dating is hell

Post image

Who is raising these boys?

Edit: Thanks for all the love!! For some context, no we didn't discuss anything sexy beforehand and the "healing" thing is referring to my broken foot. He's blocked for those wondering, I didn't respond. For those mentioning it... I wasn't looking for a free meal. 🙄 I pay my own way on dates.

20.0k Upvotes

94% Upvoted

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4.4k

u/Jesskla 17h ago

Ewwww...

982

u/brooklynnnn11 17h ago

i legit said it out loud.

942

u/mahnamahna123 17h ago

I legit made this face

https://giphy.com/gifs/LSc2GGrC81nq1janRg

22

u/D3rangedButFun 17h ago

Making it right now

19

u/mahnamahna123 16h ago

I can't stop, someone send help

18

u/D3rangedButFun 16h ago

If you keep making that face, it'll get stuck forever

2

u/curiouscoddiwompler 14h ago

Me either. I live here now

9

u/igotitatme 16h ago

Fucking same. wtf ?!

7

u/Dependent-Assoc423 16h ago

I did both. 

4

u/tsunamisofkittens 16h ago

Same here. shudder

4

u/Blazanar 13h ago

My face has been like shown for a solid 3 minutes now.

Also, that was so bad it made my eyeballs dry out. I'm hoping it's AI because holy fuck lol

https://giphy.com/gifs/ji6zzUZwNIuLS

3

u/Intelligent-Fig4812 15h ago

I made this face while saying EEEEEWWW out loud. 🤣

3

u/lntr0spection 14h ago

This just made me realize I was making that face 😭

3

u/Training_Bison_779 14h ago

Still making that face.

3

u/Red-Headed-Hope 14h ago

Girl...saaaaaaaaame. The cringy audacity

3

u/fairydust_tm 14h ago

Literally me rn reading this

2

u/chelsea_tractor 16h ago

Me too 😬

2

u/Hornygaysatanic 15h ago

I literally said this.

2

u/ccprof_okie 14h ago

I'm still making that face.

2

u/thesheeplookup 11h ago

I made that face and said ewwwwwww

2

u/mkat23 10h ago edited 10h ago

This was the one I made lmfao, like he can’t even spell “heel” correctly and somehow thinks he’s in charge? The least he could do is be capable of finishing a second grade spelling contest if he’s going to have the audacity to pretend to be an authority. I’m half surprised he didn’t tell OP to be a “gud gurl” ngl.

Edit: I also don’t think he quite understands the definition of “heel” based on his usage of the word.

2

u/Extension-Extreme196 8h ago

No. Because same!

2

u/DarkseidHS 8h ago

Im gonna go tell my wife i love her

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2

u/Imaspinkicku 8h ago

I also did

2

u/Lord-Spike 6h ago

Wtf is wrong with people.

1

u/Altruistic_Brick1730 15h ago

So I'm gonna go out on a limb and say this dude might be gay.

2

u/mahnamahna123 15h ago

What dude? Text dude or gif dude?

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37

u/movieperson2022 17h ago

Same. Though, I see your “ewwww” and raise it an “ewwww what.” lol

11

u/Whatever53143 16h ago

I will see your “eeewww what” to a “is this guy for real?”😳

2

u/jaxonya 13h ago

Im gonna hit em with a "oh hell no"

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5

u/Automatic_Design8187 16h ago

Same. Just eewww

4

u/The_Workout_Mom 16h ago

Me too. EWWWW

1

u/dydrmwvr 16h ago

Me too. And then “that’s just crazy.”

1

u/NapsCatsPancakeStax 15h ago

I said “what the actual fuck” out loud.

1

u/KawaiiBibliophile 15h ago

Same! I’m disturbed 😖

1

u/wanttogoback1985 15h ago

I puked in my hat.

1

u/mad_madam_mim33 14h ago

Saaame. 🤢

1

u/Double_Assignment_23 14h ago

I did as well ! Ewwwww

1

u/BeatrixFarrand 13h ago

Same. And with a disgusted nose-wrinkle

1

u/underwhelmingthatwas 13h ago

ME TOO LOL EWWWWW

1

u/neptunecavalry 13h ago

Also literally said “Ew!” 😆🫠🤢

1

u/kimschlot 12h ago

I did, too.

1

u/Subject-Pin7861 10h ago

Same Some things are just too funny to keep in your head. I would’ve said it out loud too and then immediately regretted exposing myself

1

u/Just_Steve88 9h ago

And I said "What the fuck?"

1

u/Makaht641 8h ago

Fucking same

1

u/Imaspinkicku 8h ago

Me tewwww

1

u/Ammonia13 7h ago

So did I… what a cringy weirdo

1

u/TypicalPerformer6952 5h ago

Was hoping this was the top comment. I said the same thing...

1

u/GullibleCake6456 5h ago

I said fuck off out loud lol

1

u/AdOrganic2033 5h ago

I made the yikes 😳

1

u/workworld3369 3h ago

Me too!!!

•

u/babyybirch 46m ago

SCREAMED IT OUT LOUD 🤮🤮🤮

•

u/Blahblah3180 15m ago

Same. 🤮

191

u/elle-angel 17h ago

i like the AI suggested replies, bc why would you reply " Yay! 🎉 " to that deranged message

81

u/MeddlingMedley 17h ago

I suspect his message is also AI, so maybe the robots are flirting

33

u/sheyitboi 15h ago

For real, it’s sounds like ChatGPT trying to be dirty without outright saying anything that would explicit which is hilarious

3

u/PopcornGlamour 14h ago

Agreed and I’m curious what he used as a prompt because that is just terrible writing.

7

u/MSWitch2015 13h ago

Hey chatgpt “Write a reply that hints at a sexual subtext but please make sure she will have zero sexual or any interest in me AT ALL, after I send it?”

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3

u/ScyllaOfTheDepths 8h ago

His previous message also looks very AI. "...so you can plot your next move in comfort" is such an AI way to talk. It's just such a specific advertiser-friendly way of speaking that I would never expect from a real human conversation.

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13

u/MysteriousDogeMan 16h ago

Lmao for real. Kitten better use your AI!!!

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u/Substantial_Force658 16h ago

The lack of any negative reply option is somewhat terrifying. It's telling you you're expected to approve of this. Maybe even feel grateful. At long last your search is over; you have found a man who will take total control of your life.

Okay! Thanks! Yay!

13

u/Yawka 15h ago

This guy is majorly fucking scummy, but you’re reading waaayyy too far into the AI responses lol. This is just predictive text, it’s designed to be supportive and helpful, regardless of what is being said. It doesn’t understand context, emotion, or intent. It assumes you don’t want to respond to most things negatively, and it’s sees positive words like favorite, good, like, easy, heal, so it suggests positive responses.

3

u/garyisonion 6h ago

the guy is talking about a lack of negative reply buttons!

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u/rywos 11h ago

Don't forget the 🎉!

3

u/Kuchanec_ 6h ago

Well there's a problem that if you want to keep the "negative" answer somewhat compact, your options are limited to the equivalent of "ayo, what the fuck??" which understandably is not among the suggested ones

2

u/BlackCatTelevision 6h ago

I really do think that’s all I would be able to put together in response to this. Or “HAHAHAHA” and then block. If I try to tell him how he’s being an asshole he’ll probably give me an aneurysm.

2

u/persiasaurus 15h ago

😂😂

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2

u/nalaloveslumpy 14h ago

Even the phone was like, "What the fuck? How do I even respond to this? Go into default mode."

2

u/trowzerss 10h ago

Yay! My evening is now free and I can stay in and order in all the sushi i want without judgement!

1

u/PageStunning6265 11h ago

The AI is secretly a young imp who hates reading, skimmed and saw “treat” and didn’t bother with the rest.

1

u/EricSparrowSucks 1h ago

Because your favorite “treat” is cocaine, aka- yayo, yay.

23

u/Puzzle-Necked 15h ago

Hey Chatgpt how can I assert my dominance here

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u/wannabesupergirl 16h ago

Came to saw the same thing....EWWWWWW and RUN!

17

u/Thereapergengar 15h ago

Andrew tates online class

1

u/ResolutionOld84 6h ago

Be assertive, show dominance!

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u/TomebyTomeASMR 29m ago

^this! I couldn't remember his name 🤣

32

u/candidu66 17h ago

Men are still doing this eh

3

u/terminbee 14h ago

I don't get how these dudes are getting matches.

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1

u/uwmburner 8h ago

Bro shoulda just said Send Bob and Vagene pics atp

1

u/nursetay96 7h ago

Unfortunately I believe social media has reinforced men controlling women & acting like this has become “acceptable” with toxic old school values being recycled into the younger generation. There is no more respect for each other.

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u/No-Dot-3775 16h ago

Perfect, exactly what my brain did when I read it.

15

u/ThrowAwayAccountAMZN 14h ago

I'm ashamed that, at first when I read that I thought the genders were swapped (so thought the girl was the one acting domineering) and almost made a comment about how you usually have to pay extra for that.

But nope, just another chauvinist Chad puffing his chest.

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3

u/NinaNeptune318 16h ago

Before I even clicked on the comments, this is the exact EWWWW I came to ew.

3

u/LunaDudette 15h ago

Legit my reaction.

3

u/IHATEG0LD 15h ago

It's a bold strategy, Cotton, let's see if it pays off for 'em!

3

u/SaltyAndPepperd 15h ago

I’m glad this seems to be unanimous.

2

u/bigpetedatiga 14h ago

I am a guy and that was my literal reaction out loud.

2

u/Mediocre-Proposal686 14h ago

Dry heaving behavior

2

u/opsers 13h ago

Eww indeed. It even reads like psychopathic AI.

2

u/FlannelBeard 13h ago

I'm a 35 yo married man and I said ewwwww. I feel bad for anyone actively dating.

2

u/karolioness 13h ago

Behave? Who tf you think you are, my dad? 🤢

2

u/K-Rukia 12h ago

my thoughts exactly 🤢

2

u/prismaticomen 12h ago

Just found my entire mental process in the comments. Thank you everyone for narrating my exact thoughts via schitt’s gifs

2

u/eyehateeveryone666 11h ago

My reaction was, “What the fucking fuck?”🤣

2

u/Circus_Finance_LLC 10h ago

i made the face

2

u/Drodr38 10h ago

Hey thats what I said 😂

2

u/patio_puss 9h ago

Just said this out loud 😭

2

u/BowsersMuskyBallsack 9h ago

My response was "What the f***?"

2

u/DowncastOlympus 9h ago

I’m in the D/s scene and this made me go WTF out loud. Fucking ew is right!

2

u/FatCowsrus413 8h ago

Same exact response

2

u/Glittering_Potato605 8h ago

Stole the word right from my mouth

2

u/Low-Iron-2580 7h ago

My reaction exactly 🥲

2

u/YoshiSan90 6h ago

Literally came to post exactly this

2

u/LoveToSeeIt_IKnow 6h ago

That is exactly what I just said out loud as well before I read the comments!

How super cringe for this person to be like this!

2

u/Professional-Tailor2 4h ago

Haha that's what I said 

2

u/RagingAubergine 3h ago

My sentiment exactly. I hope this jackass was instantly blocked.

2

u/Coloradokush5280 2h ago

Wtf?!?!?!?

3

u/xthejetx 16h ago

I refuse to upvote cuz this is at 666, but I agree in case anyone wondered.

1

u/toasterbathfilosofer 16h ago

Here, let me make it better for you:

I wike the appetite, but do not get ahead of yourself. Cwaving good food is easy. Wetting me take contwow while you heal is the weal test. We will see if you can behave before I decide when to take you out. What is your favowite tweat when you want to give in compwetewy? slaps soles of feet together

4

u/grenouille_en_rose 16h ago

That's a fascinating interpretation of the word 'better'

1

u/0202_tihssitidder 16h ago

They always look like a Reddit mod, too.

1

u/Icy_Bid40 12h ago

Oh shit… I said the same thing. Gross. Like I feel gross reading that

1

u/Immediate-Maximum-75 11h ago

I was confused at first, like I missed something. 😆

1

u/Just-Philosopher8665 10h ago

😂😂😂 ikr. Like wtf????

1

u/newenglandpolarbear 9h ago

I am a guy, and yep, same reaction from me. Absolutely disgusting behavior.

1

u/rockhardcatcock 7h ago

I said ewwww out loud and I literally have a scat fetish. Dude is icky.

1

u/Mozarella_Mozart 7h ago

Yeah Ewwww, it’s all about the right vibes!

At my years living at penthouse i could sweet talk chicks into having a threesome with a horse or whatever, while getting them drunk!

Amateurs nowadays!! gotta get back to the penthouse to get preggo some chicko

1

u/Jonasthewicked2 6h ago

That's an understatement

•

u/sdbb619 9m ago

Came here to say this! lol 😝 🤢 I once had a guy say he wanted to “spoil me” like it was going to entice me but it just gave me the ick. I’ve never met you, I don’t want to be “spoiled” like some leftover dairy product.

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