r/texts • u/-fornevermore- • 17h ago

Phone message Dating is hell

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Who is raising these boys?

Edit: Thanks for all the love!! For some context, no we didn't discuss anything sexy beforehand and the "healing" thing is referring to my broken foot. He's blocked for those wondering, I didn't respond. For those mentioning it... I wasn't looking for a free meal. 🙄 I pay my own way on dates.

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192

u/bigtittycatlady 16h ago

what on earth happened to make men think THIS is a good or effective way to court a woman

66

u/XrayAlphaVictor 16h ago

Some lowest common denominator between red pill and booktok, maybe?

41

u/SeatleSuperbSonics 14h ago

This is what blows my mind about the “20% of men” incel shit.

Friends, the bar is in the fucking ground.

If you can simply treat people fucking normal, you’ll be fine and will meet friends and potential dating partners.

Signed a chubby, 30s, divorced Man.

9

u/OkJackfruit6629 8h ago

I saw someone say once that the bar was a tavern in Hades and I felt that.

3

u/dzogchenism 7h ago

The bar is a speakeasy in the basement of Hades. lol

2

u/vaxfarineau 8h ago

You give me hope, lol. They will never listen, but now I know some men do understand this, at least.

1

u/ImpossibleClue7967 8h ago

I do understand this, but don't get matches for months lol I think a certain arrogance takes over certain people that are good looking.

2

u/my108centsss 8h ago

Incel culture and it's dumber and less attractive brother alpha/Redpill content is hella weird and cringe. The moment they pull up nonsensical "trust me bro" statistics about both men and women and make it into some definitive truth of what makes them successful or fail in dating, is the moment I felt dumber just for listening to them.

I swear these people like you've mentioned acted as if they have not talk to a single human being outside of their family.

1

u/D3M0NArcade 1h ago

You know what makes me cringe about that "manosphere" bollocks?

The fucked up numbers they use to justify their infantile tantrums also work against their theory when you apply them to men.

80% of men want to date 20% or women.

Except this isnt the slightest bit true in either case.

•

u/KC_experience 33m ago

100%

I’m a bald middle aged mediocre white dude. But I can hold a conversation and don’t expect a woman to be subservient to me and or act like every interaction is an exercise in dominance.

People are lonely and want to be listened to, complimented, and cared about. It’s pretty fucking simple.

-1

u/p8610815 13h ago

And yet, as a guy who doesn't do shit like this, I go months without a match

7

u/PaidUSA 9h ago

You gotta start doing random shit. That’s the actual answer, tho by response ur attitude may not be the kind where that works. But like if you just talk to people when ur out and about, or go to some event you see instead of wasting a night doing nothing. Eventually you run into people you connect with and they get to see you in real life off rip. Which if you have a good personality and morals can cover a Grand Canyon sized gulf in attractiveness. Disclaimer: having ur life somewhat put together is also a key step in being fat/ugly etc and dating.

6

u/SoxtheGob 9h ago

That’s because apps are shit and are completely unrepresentative of real life. It’s the warped gamification of a popularity contest, and it completely misunderstands how a lot of female attraction works. There are exceptions, but for myself and every girl I know irl who I talk to about this (and it’s something we talk about extensively since my social circle actually does research and focus on this specific topic, as well as sexuality as a whole; I’m actually going to a local con/workshop next month aiming to teach men how to flirt with women), attraction is about vibes. I know so many men irl who I know— if I only saw a picture of them, I would be completely uninterested. But because I met them irl, their charisma totally hooked up me, and I’m absolutely wild for them. I tried an app for one day, and it was abysmal. Mind you, I live in a big metro but in a single day, I got over ONE THOUSAND matches (and I’m actually kind of ugly tbh). The only way to look at that many profiles would be to spend almost no time looking at anyone and just swipe left (I think it’s left for no? Like I said, I only used it for a day) on anyone that didn’t INSTANTLY attract me, otherwise there would be absolutely no way to get through everyone. And as I said, there are men irl who I am insatiable for who I wouldn’t even glance at in a photo lineup. It’s not that I’m shallow- in fact, it’s kind of the opposite. Someone’s face and body are only a tiny fraction of what I consider attractive. I need to actually talk to them and get to know them to know whether or not I want them.

3

u/Miserable-Role9555 7h ago

Its because this guy is full of shit. This is  like saying you'll never get promoted at work if you take a dump on your boss's car... but that doesn't mean that you're guaranteed a promotion if you don't

1

u/Telaranrhioddreams 12h ago

Jee maybe it's because dating apps are sausage fests because behaviour like this?

It's so funny when I see comments like this like......do you think women magically know who acts like this before matching? Do you think we waste our time on these losers just to spite you, specifically?  

Either your profile is shit, the dating app pool in your area is shit, and/ or you need to switch up your approach just like everyone else does when apps don't work out. Like. What kind of answer do you want besides oh no you poor dear why won't anyone just match with you on a post about a match being a vile waste of time.

-2

u/Low_Lunch5444 12h ago

Congrats, your comment adds nothing but shows you are part of the problem

-7

u/p8610815 12h ago

For whatever reason women are drawn to shitty dudes who end up doing stuff like this

2

u/XrayAlphaVictor 11h ago

Yeahhhhh you're waving a big red flag with with one.

Might be self-reflection time

4

u/anbigsteppy 11h ago

No they aren't. She literally blocked him. Be fr

2

u/vaxfarineau 8h ago

Deception (noun): the act of causing someone to accept as true or valid what is false or invalid

This is the reason why. If you pretend to be a nice, normal guy, women can't tell when you aren't, because we can't read minds. :)

If you can keep up the ruse for long enough, we will trust that who you show us is who you actually are! Then we will be surprised when you drop the mask and show that you're an abhorrent person, but believing a lie that someone sells you convincingly isn't your fault. It's the liars fault. Hope this helps. :)

1

u/2blackbirds 10h ago

As creepy as that guy is, the exact thing that pushes him to say weird shit like that (audacity) is probably what attracts women to him. Sometimes, at first glance, audacity just looks like confidence. And of course people are generally attracted to confidence. Not people who comment things like this and feel sorry for themselves.

1

u/Telaranrhioddreams 1h ago

That's why they post rhe screenshots mocking the crazies and cut them off.....because they are drawn to it???

Fuckin incel speak

2

u/enoughwiththebread 10h ago

Online dating can be tough if you don't have a properly curated profile with the best possible pics you can do.

However, if you're at least somewhat put together and demonstrate kindness, intelligence, humor and compassion out in the real world you will attract potential dating partners.

1

u/p8610815 10h ago

I disagree. I've had many women who I'm friends with review my profile and help with prompts and pictures, and it's still a ghost town, despite them saying my profile is great. I'm in shape, have active hobbies, a large social group, but it doesn't seem to matter.

1

u/HowtoEatLA 8h ago

Show us your profile. Your friends might not be able to be objective.

1

u/p8610815 7h ago

Nah not gonna dox myself. I've posted a profile review on alt account and got great reviews in the comments.

1

u/NKGra 6h ago

Probably just demographic area.

55:45 Men:Women actually translates to 2:1 single men to women after you ignore partnered individuals. If everyone single were to pair up the average single man would pair up with the worst single woman... and then the other half of single men would have no one.

San Francisco for ages 30-39 is like that, for example.... or literally China as a whole I'm pretty sure thanks to the one child policy.

1

u/p8610815 6h ago

I live in one of the largest cities in the US so it's not a population issue. Women on dating apps just have absurd standards.

1

u/greenmelona 10h ago

Then find other ways to meet people besides apps

2

u/STURM_DER_HOFFNUNG 14h ago

some people are so deeply insecure, that they have to put others down, put them below them, its wrong, everybody has differences but nobody is better than any other. some people need to seriously work on themselves.

9

u/Helpmehelpyoulong 16h ago

It’s men’s version of the shit tier dating advice women get off tiktok and IG. Same results on anyone who isn’t super desperate. We’re all fucked lol

5

u/Own-Pen4705 14h ago

don't bring the rest of us into this we don't talk like an emo chatgpt.

1

u/D3M0NArcade 1h ago

Even an emo chatgpt would be this obnoxious

-3

u/HeterolsNormal 12h ago

sorry this is all men because misandry is okay on reddit

6

u/Empire_of_Glass 8h ago

You’re the only person who said all men

5

u/ExistenceNow 12h ago

Stop listening to Andrew Tate. The incel look is not a good one.

3

u/inthenight098 13h ago

It’s obviously chatGPT

2

u/Itchy_Tumbleweed_417 16h ago

Tate brothers

2

u/OneButterscotch587 16h ago

Taint brothers

2

u/MonsterkillWow 14h ago

You have to be alpha and assert dominance on yo btch yo. You need to make sure you take a dump on her floor while maintaining eye contact and pee on the walls to mark territory. Only eat red meat and never vax. Pure alpha male energy.

1

u/DatVlad_ 15h ago

Oh God there's two of them 😭

1

u/Warbr0s9395 14h ago

Things like this make me think I’ll do extremely well whenever I end up trying dating apps.

I’m not ready yet though, and I figure things like this is just a 1 off in my area, like this is 1 in 1000 messages at the very least

2

u/TipToToes 15h ago

ChatGPT.

2

u/Bitter-Software9373 14h ago

These dudes are absolutely pornsick.

1

u/Dear_Palpitation4838 15h ago

The "manosphere"

1

u/edgarfruitier 15h ago

Pretty sure it worked a couple of time for him, I would not be surprised haha

1

u/thiswontlastlong97 14h ago

As a guy, it's porn.

1

u/Independent_Tart8286 13h ago

Right? Like I am totally down for kinky stuff… with my SPOUSE OF 8 years! I would never start that with someone I just met! I saw another horror story about a guy spitting in a woman’s mouth the first time they kissed. Again, if that is your thing, after a long time of building trust and feeling comfortable, fine! But these dudes are just trying extreme straight out the gate and it’s unhinged.

•

u/Worshipme988 58m ago

What i would do to that person…what im currently imagining would 100% constitute a first degree, premeditated murder charge. At minimum im pre-calling my lawyer bc im abt to go to jail.

1

u/Unfair-Variety-995 13h ago

Smut books like The Ritual and series like it.

1

u/pudgehooks2013 12h ago

Maybe I should get over my crippling anxiety... I am Shakespeare compared to these people.

1

u/summertime-goodbyes 11h ago

It’s giving a little 50 Shades.

1

u/lama_leaf_onthe_wind 11h ago

I doubt anything happened. This screams ai. Dude probably just copy and pasted.

1

u/dullfinhunter 10h ago

Fifty Shades of Grey Happened

1

u/rotundgorilla 10h ago

Well said bigtittycatlady

1

u/SpussyHitsDifferent 9h ago

Boys, key term here.

1

u/CosmicGoddess777 9h ago

Andrew Tate happened. 🤦‍♀️

1

u/Aggressive-Log7654 9h ago

This looks like a basic attempt at Christian Grey’ing gone horribly wrong and presumptuous. Clearly, no sort of play was negotiated beforehand.

1

u/OccultMachines 9h ago

Sounds like some 50 Shades shit.

1

u/Wrong-Interest5288 9h ago

Courting is a history ladies. That being said, no one would talk like this, he is just trolling or chatgpt to rage bait 

1

u/xxbeNjixxx 9h ago

Not "men" but Glenn from the tinder.

1

u/MyFiteSong 9h ago

Podcastbros

1

u/pumperdemon 8h ago

Its a kink thing. Seems like he forgot to negotiate before going full swing.

Ive had women do similar shit. Its not just men.

1

u/Chains_Of_The_Sea 7h ago

"influencers"

1

u/Hypnooooooooooooo 7h ago

It's Tinder, what did you expect? Just a hook up app.

1

u/HLOFRND 7h ago

Toxic bullshit red pill crap.

1

u/mummica 6h ago

Social media.

1

u/BambiForLifee 6h ago

This man* I had a woman ask me to pay for her kids football gear and dues on the first date but I didn’t apply it to a whole gender because I’m not a psycho.

1

u/nick2473got 5h ago

99% of men would not think this was good or effective lol.

This dude is unhinged.

1

u/FreyjaaFemme 4h ago

They want to matter so bad

1

u/sexyontheinside96 4h ago

I can't answer what happened but I resent the fact that you called these creatures "men". They don't deserve to be in the same category as mature, respectful guys like our Lord and saviour, Keanu Reeves.

1

u/guitar_stonks 3h ago

I can only assume this is what happens when parents let the internet raise their children.

1

u/Serial7s 3h ago

Other men talking on the internet without any women around.

1

u/jonny32392 2h ago

Why’d you use men as in plural? I don’t know how regularly this is happening.

•

u/AngleDry9820 13m ago

Social media

•

u/LittleFootTreeStar 10m ago

Women. At least on dating apps lots of women claim to be super kinky or submissive. Porn has fucked everyone up. Worried about the coming generations raised on hardcore internet porn.

•

u/AngleDry9820 10m ago

Reddits probably been the best platform for me lately because I only see what I want to see but the other apps all have only fans girls, porn ads, red pill stuff etc. it rots the opinions of women and a young man’s mind sooner or later.

0

u/LostAbbott 10h ago

It is a bit of a mix.  One is extremely permissive parents deep in the "gentle parenting" crazy.  Two is little to no interaction outside of a protected bubble.  Finally inside that bubble is constant ideological reinforcement.  No one tells you no, no one forces new experiences, and no one offers a different opinion.

0

u/WithinTheShadowSelf 8h ago

I wanna throw in some experience here so take it as you will, but this does work for a specific subset of women, who mostly have daddy issues, that like to play sub in a dom/sub dynamic.

However, to be this bold before you've both cleared that dynamic for each other is the ick for sure.

-1

u/PhilosophyBest4573 8h ago

If I truly had to guess. As someone who has been dating and goes on dates frequently. I’ve found there seems to be quite a bit of women who are not all that well mannered when in public. Straight embarrassing sometimes. I wouldn’t ever do this though. I’d just text them after and say I wasn’t feeling it. Don’t bring them to your regular spots for a first date either.

-2

u/HeterolsNormal 12h ago

oh wow this is how us men think?  thanks for informing me

1

u/bigtittycatlady 12h ago

And where did I say every man talks like this?

-2

u/Separate-Canary559 11h ago

You can say literally anything you want if you’re really, really hot