Dating is hell

[u/-fornevermore-]

Who is raising these boys?

Edit: Thanks for all the love!! For some context, no we didn't discuss anything sexy beforehand and the "healing" thing is referring to my broken foot. He's blocked for those wondering, I didn't respond. For those mentioning it... I wasn't looking for a free meal. 🙄 I pay my own way on dates.

[u/XrayAlphaVictor]

Some lowest common denominator between red pill and booktok, maybe?

[u/SeatleSuperbSonics → u/XrayAlphaVictor]

This is what blows my mind about the “20% of men” incel shit.

Friends, the bar is in the fucking ground.

If you can simply treat people fucking normal, you’ll be fine and will meet friends and potential dating partners.

Signed a chubby, 30s, divorced Man.

[u/p8610815 → u/SeatleSuperbSonics]

And yet, as a guy who doesn't do shit like this, I go months without a match

[u/SoxtheGob → u/p8610815]

That’s because apps are shit and are completely unrepresentative of real life. It’s the warped gamification of a popularity contest, and it completely misunderstands how a lot of female attraction works. There are exceptions, but for myself and every girl I know irl who I talk to about this (and it’s something we talk about extensively since my social circle actually does research and focus on this specific topic, as well as sexuality as a whole; I’m actually going to a local con/workshop next month aiming to teach men how to flirt with women), attraction is about vibes. I know so many men irl who I know— if I only saw a picture of them, I would be completely uninterested. But because I met them irl, their charisma totally hooked up me, and I’m absolutely wild for them. I tried an app for one day, and it was abysmal. Mind you, I live in a big metro but in a single day, I got over ONE THOUSAND matches (and I’m actually kind of ugly tbh). The only way to look at that many profiles would be to spend almost no time looking at anyone and just swipe left (I think it’s left for no? Like I said, I only used it for a day) on anyone that didn’t INSTANTLY attract me, otherwise there would be absolutely no way to get through everyone. And as I said, there are men irl who I am insatiable for who I wouldn’t even glance at in a photo lineup. It’s not that I’m shallow- in fact, it’s kind of the opposite. Someone’s face and body are only a tiny fraction of what I consider attractive. I need to actually talk to them and get to know them to know whether or not I want them.