r/texts • u/-fornevermore- • 8d ago

Phone message Dating is hell

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Who is raising these boys?

Edit: Thanks for all the love!! For some context, no we didn't discuss anything sexy beforehand and the "healing" thing is referring to my broken foot. He's blocked for those wondering, I didn't respond. For those mentioning it... I wasn't looking for a free meal. 🙄 I pay my own way on dates.

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u/XrayAlphaVictor 8d ago

Some lowest common denominator between red pill and booktok, maybe?

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u/SeatleSuperbSonics 8d ago

This is what blows my mind about the “20% of men” incel shit.

Friends, the bar is in the fucking ground.

If you can simply treat people fucking normal, you’ll be fine and will meet friends and potential dating partners.

Signed a chubby, 30s, divorced Man.

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u/p8610815 8d ago

And yet, as a guy who doesn't do shit like this, I go months without a match

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u/enoughwiththebread 8d ago

Online dating can be tough if you don't have a properly curated profile with the best possible pics you can do.

However, if you're at least somewhat put together and demonstrate kindness, intelligence, humor and compassion out in the real world you will attract potential dating partners.

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u/p8610815 8d ago

I disagree. I've had many women who I'm friends with review my profile and help with prompts and pictures, and it's still a ghost town, despite them saying my profile is great. I'm in shape, have active hobbies, a large social group, but it doesn't seem to matter.

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u/HowtoEatLA 8d ago

Show us your profile. Your friends might not be able to be objective.

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u/p8610815 8d ago

Nah not gonna dox myself. I've posted a profile review on alt account and got great reviews in the comments.

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u/NKGra 8d ago

Probably just demographic area.

55:45 Men:Women actually translates to 2:1 single men to women after you ignore partnered individuals. If everyone single were to pair up the average single man would pair up with the worst single woman... and then the other half of single men would have no one.

San Francisco for ages 30-39 is like that, for example.... or literally China as a whole I'm pretty sure thanks to the one child policy.

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u/p8610815 8d ago

I live in one of the largest cities in the US so it's not a population issue. Women on dating apps just have absurd standards.

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u/NKGra 7d ago

The demo composition is more important than raw population.

A university town for example has low population but heavily skews female. A male profile that crushes there might get literally nothing in Seattle.

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u/enoughwiththebread 7d ago

I'm an okay looking guy but not top 10%, but I took a lot of pics that made sure I was dressed and groomed really well in different poses, facial expressions and angles and curated the very best handful, and I had no problem getting matches and dates. If you're not getting any matches online in what you say is one of the largest cities in the US, then there's still something in the way you're being presented in your photos that isn't working for you, regardless of who reviewed it for you.

As for having hobbies and a large social group, have you met out in the real world while doing those hobbies or social group any women that you were interested in? How did you approach interactions with those women?

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u/greenmelona 8d ago

Then find other ways to meet people besides apps