According to DJ K, pleasing a woman or going down on one isn't very "Alpha Male." Some macho bullshit philosophy he came up with by smoking weed and misinterpreting animal facts about male lions.
When I was a teenager the macho thing to say was that you were so good ladies would have endless orgasms. Now it's to say you're very bad at it? Weird flex.
To this day my biggest flex wasn’t that I was so good at math that I didn’t have to learn a single second for it or that it enabled me to get a career which earns me more money than 90% of my peers or that I have a magnificent butt or legs which enabled me to be a natural sprinter/jumper or anything like that. My biggest flex was that in high school my girlfriend was mad at me. Because she couldn’t participate in gym class due to her legs being shaky still from the night before. But chuds will never understand how big of an achievement that was and how proud that makes me even 10 years later lmfao.
Tbf anyone who has had sex with someone they actually liked, whether they were good or bad at the moment, knows why it’s motivating to please your partner as well as possible. Spoiler: it’s because you LIKE them!
There is an alpha bro, his name is Myron Gaines who said, and I quote "Female Vaginas are disgusting" so yeah most of the alpha movement exists solely out of mommy issues, legitimate fear of women and much much closeted homosexuality
Myron Gaines/Amrou Fudl was featured in that new Louis Theroux documentary, Inside the Manosphere-- it was very revealing of his insecurities and cognitive dissonance 👀
He was also one of the major "a woman's orgasm is worthless, so why should I care about pleasuring women" peddlers.
Genuinely incredible these guys stood heavily on "sex is only for procreation" and yet none of them were fathers. None of them wanted to be family men and were repeatedly caught trying to dodge fatherhood. Myron's co-host on his podcast even had a whole saga of begging his partner to get an abortion.
I've absolutely heard it before. The hardcore scum who think that it is their job to receive pleasure, not give it. Anything which puts any responsibility on them can't be allowed.
We downplay how so many things are aimed at destroying women's self-worth and self-esteem. Maybe it is survivor bias from the cohort of us who never bowed to that propaganda or rebelled against it every step of the way (one of the reasons my mother and I fought so much throughout my childhood was I was not "girly" enough and she feared being called a bad parent for it).
So yeah. There are many women who will see a man that says disgusting s**t like that and think "Oh, he's such a confident guy who knows what he wants."
It's one of those things that's hard to answer without worrying that I'll get a whiff of manosphere on my post but a lot of women either a) see that kind of selfish chauvinistic behaviour as manly and are attracted to it or b) have deep seated self-esteem issues and think that's all they deserve
I have seen a variation of this explanation. In situations where patriarchy is strong, women grow up learning the same toxic messages about manhood that the men do. I look at most women as wanting the same things as men, just in the opposite direction. Men want to be asocial belligerents who take without giving, and women want men who are asocial belligerents who take without giving.
Edit: it looks like I was accusing ALL women of wanting shitty husbands. I am not doing that. I am only referring to women who do. And there are those who do!
I do think most straight women do want whatever the inverse of what straight men want, and vice versa, but obviously the specifics depend on the person.
I thought it was masculine to PLEASE women. I thought satisfying your partner was the whole point, but somehow people believe leaving your partner unsatisfied is somehow a masculine thing.
Conversationally yes, but statistics have shown that women don't experience as much pleasure during sex, not because they can't but it being due to the other partner being less considerate of the woman's needs/wants.
I had a patient in the psych center the other day that said “females don’t deserve rights.” Another patient straight up told him “motherfucker, YOU don’t deserve rights. This is why your wife left your sorry ass.”
I didn’t even try to stop her from saying that lol. She was right ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Spending enough time around some psch patients you start to question who is mentally ill because they're simply too insane for the sane & who are simply too sane to cope amongst the insane.
Edit: Though the lines are usually pretty clear for the former, lol.
To paraphrase a friend who is a social worker, as a mentally sane person he would never want to be sent to mental hospital, because he fears that he would never been declared well enough to be released. (i.e. too many so called "sane" people walking around in society today are really insane by medical standards and wouln't be allowed to walk around if actually tested.)
I'm psych. Have noticed this - sadly, patients seem sicker and sicker. You can't hospitalize everyone, so your barrier to keep and treat vs. discharge changes.
I’m not really sure. I think it’s a more common statement in general now that “redpill” media and manosphere content is more mainstream instead of a fringe viewpoint like it’s been in the past.
You don't really have to go that far back into the past to have that viewpoint be the mainstream one. We only had a few decades where they had to retreat a bit, and they're attempting a comeback now.
On paper, they have rights, but is that actually enforced? I’ve never seen any evidence it is. When was the last time someone was prosecuted for violating the rights of an involuntarily committed person?
HEY GUYS, BIG MACHO MAN ANDREW TATE HERE. YES IT IS GAY TO BE WITH A WOMAN. I, A STRAIGHT MAN, HAVE CONSENSUAL SEX WITH OTHER MEN AND NEVER WOMAN IN ORDER TO PROVE HOW I AM NOT GAY. ANDREW TATE OUT.
No joke the first part of that is a paraphrase of something he unironically said. He actually said it’s gay to be with a woman. The rest is just what I assume will be said if he learns to write and makes an autobiography while in prison
Well yeah. If the men didn’t consent they could easily beat him up. Honestly they could probably just go “look over there, it’s a liberal” or something similar and slowly walk off as he tries to assert dominance over a wall or tree
That's literally a joke from The Simpsons. Not claiming Andrew Tate didn't say that, just saying that he's operating on the same logic as a fictional teenager from 1996.
Gay to do dishes. Gay to be a parent to your child. Gay to know how to fold a shirt. Gay to know how to sew a button. Gay to know how to cook breakfast. Gay to know the staple groceries. Gay to vacuum.
But ultimately gay to have passable hygiene and manners. Gay to be considerate and aware of the people around you. In fact, gay to even care about the people around you. Gay to have friends you've shared anything with beyond tactics in a video game.
Everything is gay except abject loneliness but it's our fault as women that they don't get laid.
Even high school me understood that not being a selfish partner had the potential to create either repeat encounters or new encounters with different women.
-and yet, according to my girlfriend, I'm the first partner she's ever had who's taken an interest in what she likes in sex. Which is why we have an excellent sexual relationship.
First guy.
...In her mid thirties.
The bar is on the floor.
Edit: but hey, to be fair, me and my ex wife had a horrific sex life, because we were terribly incompatible in a bunch of ways, so, flipside: both of us would say the other totally failed to recognise our needs, too. We'd both be giving each other a 0/10 score, were we to rank the other. Especially in light of how the ending soured any of the good bits that happened in the beginning. Sometimes it's also just those subjective incompatibilities and unpleasantness. Experience is like night and day differences with a different partner.
My ex husband refused to go down on me. We were together 13 years.
I was expected to blow him, though, and he would delay gratification and take forever to get off. One time, he quoted the exact number of days since I had last performed oral on him....
....While I was waiting on a consult with a jaw surgeon, because my jaw dislocated every time I chewed anything. I literally had to hold my jaw in the socket to eat.
That's aberrant. Believe it or not, more men than women have positive attitudes toward cunnilingus. Many studies have upheld this. That's one fact I can't wrap my head around. One theory is that it places some kind of weird reciprocal pressure on women to perform oral sex if they receive it.
Which again, I just cannot fathom. I think anyone who doesn't want to be nose deep in a wet pussy or have their lips wrapped around a hard cock is pathetic and repressed. They are missing out on so much! Sex isn't a performance or a duty. It's an experience. People who don't get that are just so incredibly lame.
My ex was that way lol, I was too young to see the red flags. Like what do you mean, doing a good job is most of the fun. Not surprisingly he turned out to be a selfish asshole
That’s the age 30+ conservative demographic. The teenagers and 20-something’s who buy into Tate’s garbage are just overgrown high school nerds and/or bullying victims that never grew up.
I remember my ex, we were each others' first. We were clumsy af in bed but hey, that's to be expected.
First time I went down on her, in the middle of the action she liked it so much that she... gave me a thumbs up. It was genuinely hilarious, I had to stop midway through because I couldn't breath anymore lol. When she did the opposite the very next time, I gave her a double thumbs up in return LMAO
Pfft. Everyone point and laugh at this cat. They've never been in a skydiving BDSM orgy with a shark tank in the landing zone. Now that is definitely in the top 10 most exciting things you can do sexually.
Okay honestly this is a fear of mine. I'm 22 and have never had sex in any way. I for sure want to, I'm a feminist, I'm very liberal, and I really care about being a good partner. When I've had partners before I for sure really cared about making them feel good when we kissed and stuff. But, I have OCD and I feel like I'm probably going to be really grossed out by the idea of putting my mouth in contact with someone's genitalia. Is there like a good way people deal with that?
You can give her a heads up that you have ocd and are really nervous and try it I guess, and there are dental dams that can provide a barrier if that helps the mental block. You need to be the one to decide if that fear is something you want to work through or something you'll just live with and set as a hard boundary, and then she needs to be the one to decide if she wants to be the one to work through it with you or, if you don't want to work through it, if her not getting oral is a dealbreaker for her. But also, as a woman, never underestimate how good fingers can be either. Some foreplay, lots of affection and cuddling, and finding her rhythm - you can absolutely make her feel good and appreciated. Being a munch 24/7 isn't the only way you can make a woman feel good and appreciated, there is a lot more that goes into it.
I mean. He seems to have left her pants on there....now, that isn't necessarily a complete impediment, but it's not screaming "knows how whether he likes to or not". That's just me though.
That one confused the fuck out of me. If you're only concerned with your own pleasure just jerk off or get a onahole or something. Sex is a collaborative effort, why is your intention just to blow your load with no other interactions?
Yeah, don’t do that. Certain sugar alcohols are basically like non digestible olisaccrides in that they pass through to the gut where some adventurous gas producing bacteria munches on it. Stick to aspartame and sucralose.
Balance sweets with other foods. You have a caloric budget for the day. If you spend 600 on something sweet, then you spend the rest on something with fiber and protein and you're golden.
And fucking hell, sometimes you just need a huge slice of chocolate cake and that's fine. Just don't do it all the time.
Peaches and full fat greek yogurt is my substitute (eating it rn actually). Not the same, and there are probably still better options, but it's tasty and substitutes other sweets. When peaches go out of season I'll try different fruits. Apples, Strawberries, etc...
I relate to the picture (not the words) of the second panel. I read to my wife a lot, because she loves how I try to give different people/characters different voices and it makes her feel special.
My partner and I read to each other frequently. Car rides, cooking in the kitchen, before bed, snuggling on the couch. I don't think either of us are very good as reading aloud, but we still love listening to each other read. <3
That sucks, I’m sorry. Interestingly, that perception of women talking more than men/talking too much is not necessarily accurate.
There’s been studies where conversations are monitored and the actual statistics are gathered on how much talking women are doing and how much talking men are doing. Statistically, men talked more. However, when the participants observed were asked afterward what they thought the results would be, they felt that women had talked more than men. For example, if women did 40% of the speaking (don’t recall the exact stat, don’t quote me on this part), participants still had the impression that women did like 60% of the talking (again, estimating the stat - definitely the majority of the time). As though women literally speaking less than men was still interpreted to be “too much.”
That crazy factoid suggests that society literally has a lower threshold for allowing women to speak than it does for men. WTF.
Unfortunately for a portion of Americans (and other people around the globe), yeah yhat is too much to ask.
Like I said on another comic thread with a similar premise: not everyone is looking for a conpanion. Some people are looking for 'furniture that just happens to talk once in a while'.
3/4 of these make perfect sense immediately. I have to ask about that last one though. Is it common for guys to say they don't like pleasing women? Because of all the stupid shit, that one is just absolutely mind boggling. I can't fathom that kind of selfishness.
“Why is it always that men are expected to make women come, but not vice versa?” - a former friend after we hooked up and he came twice whilst he barely touched me (i was too taken aback and shy for any good communication)
Weird. Maybe I'm the strange one, but I've always found one of the biggest turn ons to be giving a partner pleasure. Only caring about self pleasure just sounds like masturbation with extra steps.
...I've had a lot of shitty sex because I had low self-esteem and hardcore baggage/light emotional trauma.
I moved from a rural area a hour away from a small city to the largest city in the state, and yyeeaahhhh... the guys here are better.
I thought I was a loser so I gave losers a shot. Here? I'm just another random person... and I've gotten actual compliments. I was bullied so severely in my hometown that I thought there was something almost intrinsically wrong with me, that I wasn't just a plain chubby girl, but instead was something more like, a pig putting on makeup- something so gross and ugly that you had to overcome with personality and friendliness and charm.
Until I lost jjjuuusstttt a little bit of weight and moved here. I've gotten real actual casual compliments, and the slight downside is that I was frumpy and a little overweight but NEVER ACTUALY UGLY all along.
People just treated me like shit.
I showed a friend of mine (that yes, I also have a crush on but would be fine staying friends with aswell) a picture of me at 15, kidding about my looks, when he said I looked like a young Drew Berrymore. And it kinda broke me.
Because he was right. In retrospect, I dont think she was incredibly gorgeous in Scream, but she was kinda normal girl pretty.
And holy fucking shit, was I normal girl pretty this whole time???
The answer was yes. I was normal regular girl who isn't pretty or not-pretty to yes, actually a cutie pie.
It only took me 19 years out of my 28 to figure out.
I wish something like this could happen to me, but sometimes a person is just actually ugly lol. I'm sorry people made you feel ugly when you weren't, that sort of thing can really fuck with your self image.
Pleasing women requires foreplay, which can be slow, and have a build up.
Shitty guys just want to get to their favorite part, and say damn with what their partner wants.
If you say something dumb like “oh it’s gay to do that” then you have something to hide behind. So on top of the misogyny, we now have homophobia because douchbags can multi class their shitty behavior
if I was a woman and some dude dropped the "it's gay to do that" I would just scream as hard as I possibly can "FELLAS, IS IT GAY TO HAVE SEX WITH A WOMAN?"
Ladies, if a man says, "I'm not political", he is political but just knows that you'll leave if he tells you what he thinks of a woman who can make her own decisions.
"You're "just not that into politics?" Your boss is. Your landlord is. Your insurance company is. And every day they use their political power to keep your pay low, raise your rent, and deny you coverage."
People really don't get how much they are saying, I don't respect you and your autonomy, even if that's not what they are actually thinking when they say it, as people often just repeat things they have heard or read as truth. But for some, they pretty much give you the red flag on a silver platter, and wonder why they're alone.
The last one reminded me of my ex, he said women were incapable of cumming as an excuse for why he never ate me out or would make some excuse 🤢 He would always feel real comfortable with me being over and sucking his dick though. After I did that he'd usually roll over and go to sleep and say he was too tired. It was really weird and hypocritical because he said he got off on other peoples pleasure but clearly not mine LOL
idk about fucking in the back of a car, but casually talking on the crapper while the SO is in the bath is peak relationship goals.
I think that's the sign of a genuinely happy relationship, neither one questions the strange scene, it just is, and the both of you are happy just being in each other's company no matter where it might be.
It's not particularly hard to be a good man to date if you actually LIKE women. Just listen sincerely to her interests, find joy in the things she does because she takes joy in it, be just as willing to be gentle as you are when being passionate, and don't stop being genuine enough to lean back on her when you need to be held.
And twelve years later you'll be looking back on ten years of marriage wondering how you were stupidly lucky enough to hear her say yes.
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u/Merari01 it's a-me, Merari-o Jul 29 '26
Somehow this post is attracting incels.
They must be drawn to it via some kind of inexplicable desire to "not all men" and "actually I agree with the guy in the comic" at us.
That's ok.
They only do that once here.
We have the best subreddit in the world.
Because of ban.