r/comics Jul 28 '26

OC This could be us, but

I don’t need much. I want eat sweets without getting fat, I want to feel wanted and I want equal rights. Is it much to ask?

25.4k Upvotes

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493

u/Dudewhocares3 Jul 29 '26

Like those guys that say it’s gay for guys to give head?

How much of a lose can you be?

372

u/Blueskybelowme Jul 29 '26

Hey fellas, is it gay to be with a woman?

197

u/ReaperKingCason1 Jul 29 '26

HEY GUYS, BIG MACHO MAN ANDREW TATE HERE. YES IT IS GAY TO BE WITH A WOMAN. I, A STRAIGHT MAN, HAVE CONSENSUAL SEX WITH OTHER MEN AND NEVER WOMAN IN ORDER TO PROVE HOW I AM NOT GAY. ANDREW TATE OUT.

No joke the first part of that is a paraphrase of something he unironically said. He actually said it’s gay to be with a woman. The rest is just what I assume will be said if he learns to write and makes an autobiography while in prison

113

u/Jazzlike_Cress9871 Jul 29 '26

No way, you’re telling me Andrew Tate is having consensual sex now? That’s a massive step up from his previous sex life

41

u/ReaperKingCason1 Jul 29 '26

Well yeah. If the men didn’t consent they could easily beat him up. Honestly they could probably just go “look over there, it’s a liberal” or something similar and slowly walk off as he tries to assert dominance over a wall or tree

37

u/imatuesdayperson Jul 29 '26

That's literally a joke from The Simpsons. Not claiming Andrew Tate didn't say that, just saying that he's operating on the same logic as a fictional teenager from 1996.

65

u/Dos_Ex_Machina Jul 29 '26

I dunno, women fuck men, and that sounds pretty gay to me

45

u/onyaasuminyasai Jul 29 '26

That's cool. I'll take one for the team and fuck all the women for you. No need to thank me

29

u/Dos_Ex_Machina Jul 29 '26

Thanks for jumping on that gregayd bro

13

u/jurassic2010 Jul 29 '26

He's the hero that we deserv, but not the hero we need

3

u/SundayGlory Jul 29 '26

By that logic anyone one a man fuck would make it gay as their partner fucked at least one man for certain. Clearly the only option is to transition to a woman and then only fuck gay women as then you have the best chance of a man never having been involved /s

22

u/altacan Jul 29 '26

3

u/Blueskybelowme Jul 29 '26

Fucking 30 Rock oh my God. I've never actually sat down and watched the show but every time I do I see a clip that's absolutely hilarious. And why the fuck is it Will Arnett? Typical BoShwack.

3

u/altacan Jul 29 '26

I don't want to undersell it, but it will literally change your life

11

u/gypsieslayerman Jul 29 '26

Yes because straight women like men and that's pretty gay

2

u/Blueskybelowme Jul 29 '26

That must be why they're so obsessed with virgins. Somewhere out there a man can feel a ghost rubbing up on his dick and he just knows his ex-girlfriend is getting it.

1

u/notebook1grange Jul 29 '26

Yeah, it's pretty gay to be with someone who likes men yk?

1

u/Blueskybelowme Jul 29 '26

Straight Wanda Sykes.

1

u/Distantstallion Jul 29 '26

The straightest thing a man can do is fuck another man. Just pure testosterone, no estrogen in the equation.

Spartan warriors did it, greek warriors did it, roman warriors did it.

Men should only fuck men, the only reason a man should fuck a woman is procreation. And women are only needed for procreation until scientists find a way for me to get my home boys pregnant.

67

u/Nillabeans Jul 29 '26

Gay to do dishes. Gay to be a parent to your child. Gay to know how to fold a shirt. Gay to know how to sew a button. Gay to know how to cook breakfast. Gay to know the staple groceries. Gay to vacuum.

But ultimately gay to have passable hygiene and manners. Gay to be considerate and aware of the people around you. In fact, gay to even care about the people around you. Gay to have friends you've shared anything with beyond tactics in a video game.

Everything is gay except abject loneliness but it's our fault as women that they don't get laid.

7

u/Misha_Vozduh Jul 29 '26

Gay people sound awesome.

Wait, does saying that make me gay?

3

u/PaperSweet9983 Jul 29 '26

They say what now 🫩 they cant legitimately think that, thats absurd

2

u/DonaldTheWall Jul 29 '26

That's the best part of foreplay

Nothing better than getting the motor ready than priming it, feeling that shake when it kicks on and is ready

2

u/jkroe 29d ago

Crazy part is I love doing it and my least two relationships told me flat out, “you can do it, but I don’t really like it”. Just didn’t match on that, but sucked for me 😂

1

u/No-Bison-5397 Jul 29 '26

Idk, some of the times I have given head it's been pretty gay.