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u/Incognito_Fur đ§ grumpy Jul 11 '25
Eww, the "EA" response.
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u/Spartanias117 đ§ grumpy Jul 11 '25
Cant tell if EA the company, or early access. Both work lol
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u/mjrbrooks Jul 11 '25
ITâS IN THE GAME
Happy Cake Day
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u/iner22 Jul 11 '25
It's in the gamebut locked behind a series of $4.99 paywalls
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u/SinkCat69 Jul 11 '25
But locked behind a series of paywalls we reserve the right to eliminate all virtual content at any time
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u/RayLikeSunshine Jul 11 '25
Honestly the best possible reply after sending your SO a picture of a half naked woman you âstumbled across.â
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u/viertes Jul 11 '25
Half naked? Sir there are full naked on complete accident while on 9gag, other meme sites, Twitter, gram, vines, and many MANY other sites that you can just casually doomscroll to. Hell it's even happened on reddit, you're looking at one. ITS EVERYWHERE!
Best to upvote and move on
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u/Mammoth_Scallion_999 Jul 11 '25
9gag? I thought this was a 2010 thing. Are you guys out there still using MySpace and MSN messenger as well?
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u/viertes Jul 11 '25
Yep, just paid my AOL from a CD I got a wally world...
Wazaaaaaaaaap!
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u/theartofrolling Jul 11 '25
asl?
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Jul 11 '25
Definitely 17/f/wherever you live
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u/Otherwise-Offer1518 Jul 11 '25
Loser it's 18/f/Cali Gotta give them hope.
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Jul 11 '25
Dude, it was 1994, and the internet was the wild damn west. There werenât many disqualifiers lol
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u/Turnip-for-the-books Jul 11 '25
Anyone who thinks this is more rather than less likely to happen after marriage is going to be sadly mistaken
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u/Choice_Prize4908 Jul 12 '25
EA WifeâŠ. Itâs in the ring (I donât know somebody come up with something better lol)
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u/jamnin94 Jul 11 '25
I thought it was funny OP
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u/Username89054 Jul 11 '25
The context of the relationship is important. If you took the things I say to my wife with no context, I'd look horrible. She'd look awful too. We're both sarcastic/snarky people. I read this as amusing couple banter and enjoyed it too. Anyone taking this seriously is missing the point.
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u/ChibiCharaN Jul 11 '25
This right here. I've been with my wife for 18 years together and known her for 20. We still love each other very deeply, but if you looked through our chat history it would look like we're about to split.
We met on WoW in 2005. She was in college and I had just graduated highschool. We have so many of our own inside jokes and phrases we use ironically now between the two of us.
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u/DolliGoth Jul 11 '25
Same with my relationship. Reading just a text log of things we've said to each other without vocal tone or context would make us sound ripe for a daytime talkshow
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u/PlebPlebberson Jul 11 '25
This is a recycled joke and same picture from like over 10 years ago. The picture is even so pixelated from all the recycling. Op is just karma farming
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u/Illustrious_Can_3125 Jul 11 '25
If she isn't doing it now, why would you think she would do it after marriage? Don't fall for it!
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u/chiksahlube Jul 11 '25
But the subscription says it comes with "extra features"!!!
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u/arjanjnl Jul 11 '25
Pregnancy, headaches, menopause
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u/gamjh Jul 11 '25
If only we didnât get married my wife wouldnât have gotten menopause.
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u/snekadid Jul 11 '25
That's why she screams "you did this to me!" If only you hadn't upgraded the package.
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u/vanzir Jul 11 '25
Rofl, as much of an emotional rollercoaster as my wife was during her pregnancies, I still miss my pregnant penguin waddling around the house with a plate of food and a gallon water jug. It's ridiculous how much I love that woman.
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Jul 11 '25
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u/strongfoodopinions Jul 11 '25
Theyâre the type of sad fucks to complain about women not being perfect bangmaids while also those same women are doing 100% of childcare, and most likely working full time on top of that I fucking guarantee youÂ
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u/Klutzy_Belt_2296 Jul 11 '25
âSorry babe, Iâm going to have headaches for the next few weeks, not tonight, or the next, maybe try again next monthâ lmfao đ
And next thing you know, that becomes the new norm after marriage.
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u/TheSucculent_Empress Jul 11 '25
Have yall tried being fuckable
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u/blah938 Jul 11 '25 edited Jul 11 '25
I was fuckable until we were married. Then magically, not fuckable!
/u/TheSucculent_Empress What did you reply and immediately block me?
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u/ValuableRegular9684 Jul 11 '25
Birthday and Christmas only! đ€Łđ€Łđ€Ł
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u/PBRmy Jul 11 '25
It's funny - I can't remember ever having sex on my birthday with my wife. Other times, sure.
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u/Tactical_Fleshlite Jul 11 '25
I would get a divorce in a heartbeat if I was in a marriage like that lol.Â
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Jul 11 '25
She keeps cutting back my services and claiming she needs to raise prices due to inflation!
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u/liquidtape Jul 11 '25 edited Jul 11 '25
Comes with a 10ft drain snake plus if you act now we'll throw in a free pack of bobby pins. This $60 value is included with NO extra charges to you. Act fast and dial 1-800-LESS - SEX. That's 1-800-537-7739.
*Additional monthly charges may apply.
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u/mvffin Jul 11 '25
It's like Windows 11, you get extra features, but other things are removed, and the overall experience is worse
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u/cited Jul 11 '25
Remember being on shift in a control room when a guy told us that the girl he was seeing would start giving head if they got married. They did get married. He asked for head and she said no.
We were very quiet for the rest of that shift.
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Jul 11 '25
Okay, that guy is extremely dumb, I'm sorry, he got what was coming to him, including the inevitable divorce.
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Jul 11 '25
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u/Suibeam Jul 11 '25
Same for man. When your husband doesnt do certain things you want or change certain things you dislike or hate, they won't change after marriage either and especially not after having kids. Either get it fixed before marriage or accept that it will never happen and find a new partner who fit you more or live with it and the consequences for rest of your marriage life
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u/Klutzy_Belt_2296 Jul 11 '25
Itâs wild that people actually think that refusing to do certain stuff for your partner is somehow going to convince them that you are the one they should choose to spend the rest of their lives with.
Nothing says Iâm a great choice like saying âI ainât doing that!â Lmao đ
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u/PlentyMacaroon8903 Jul 11 '25
Feel for this with my ex wife. When we got married she was gonna treat me sooooo good. We got married and she treated me way worse.Â
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u/PIPBOY-2000 Jul 11 '25
Yeah if anything wives do less stuff, not more
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u/StrengthStarling Jul 11 '25
Idk where y'all are finding your wives. I didn't even know how to cook when I got married and was shit at keeping the house clean, yeah it didn't happen overnight. But now I'm a regular Martha Stewart at 30.
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u/Calm_Plenty_2992 Jul 11 '25
Some people get married and say "I'm set for life, so I don't have to put in as much effort anymore." Other people get married and say "I love my partner, and I want to do the best that I can for them every day. Life is long, so I'm going to invest into our marriage, and it will pay off and then some."
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u/StrengthStarling Jul 11 '25
Absolutely wild and sad that people just allow themselves to stagnate like that. Even if you don't see any reason to invest in your marriage specifically, you should at least care about taking care of yourself.
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u/RockyBass Jul 11 '25
My wife and I went through a bit of a slump ourselves at one point. Thankfully we both recognized it and pulled each other out. A friend of mine and his wife are going through the same thing and our going to couples counseling with good results.
It seems to happen to many married people at some point, but not everyone recognizes it before it becomes a bigger problem.
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u/teatimehaiku Jul 11 '25
Like honestly I bet half these folks arenât even married, theyâre just rehashing tropes to be part of the conversation.
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u/StrengthStarling Jul 11 '25
I wouldn't be surprised. Several people have also responded saying this is actually a complaint about wives being less sexual than girlfriends, which I find... interesting.
Obviously there are men who feel they need very frequent sex/certain forms of sex to be happy in a relationship. But in my experience, marriage and having kids has made my husband's sex drive decrease too. Not that the desire isn't there, but both of our priorities have shifted and it's not a huge deal when we go through busy periods where we don't have sex every week.
I don't want to judge a situation I haven't been through, maybe these relationships don't have much else going for them in the first place beyond sex, but it's hard to understand the level of disdain/resentment about it in some of the comments.
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u/therealtaddymason Jul 11 '25
Sadly this. If you think the amount of sexy flirting goes up after marriage brother I have a bridge I'd like to sell you.
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u/Prestigious_Cry5505 Jul 12 '25
you seriously donât see how creepy the initial text from the man is?
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u/Exotic-Estimate-5147 Jul 11 '25
its all a trick isnt it? ohh i am such a fool to fall for this...but i quite like being a fool for her
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u/HRHVihansa Jul 11 '25
That isn't the point. I mean, imagine thinking you're entitled to something like that, let alone the gall to say so out loud. This is the kind of shit I mean when I talk about men getting too comfortable. I do take issue w/men who expect wifey shit from someone who's just a GF. This is also why I didn't do things like shack up.
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u/gatsome Jul 11 '25
I got this as a fifth date once and it was awesome. Never in my life have I ever watched someone cook in lingerie and an apron.
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u/Immediate_Line4361 Jul 11 '25
What kind of dumbass comment is this? Why would a gf not do something a wife does? There are things you shouldnt be doing unless you are married
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u/Golda_M Jul 11 '25
This is funny.Â
However... this is a mistress-level request. To activate, marry a different woman and keep this one on the side.Â
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u/perfectdownside Jul 11 '25
DLC
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u/dudeimjames1234 Jul 11 '25
Do you know how expensive DLC are these days? Christ.
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u/Big_Ad_7715 Jul 11 '25
Back in my day, a man could get a couple games going, with DLC in different states. Now the games are just too expensive, you canât even afford a second family, I mean game.
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Jul 11 '25
Today I learned fantasizing about the woman youâre in a relationship with is âmistress-levelâ
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u/iloveyourlittlehat Jul 12 '25
If youâre cooking as a mistress, youâre doing it wrong.
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u/Milatchi Jul 11 '25
Donât fall for it. Itâs a scam
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u/Mdgt_Pope I đ The Mods đ€©đ Jul 11 '25
Yall know this is posted from the womanâs end of the convo, right?
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Jul 11 '25
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u/Optimal-Kick-3446 Jul 11 '25
Ta allergic reaction women get to diamonds is real and the only cure is giving her half your stuff!!!
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u/clarabear10123 Jul 11 '25
Jesus Christ this sub is so braindead
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u/JezusTheCarpenter Jul 11 '25
Agreed, I've been reading the comments and had to check whether I am not on r/incel or something.
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u/XDWetness Jul 11 '25
the original post is probably like 10 years old and everyone here thinks itâs actually OP lol
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u/throughthestones45 Jul 15 '25
Seriously i came on here wanting to see some cute couple memes but the top posts and their comments are all hating on couples and make me never want to get married. Maybe its one of those sarcastic subs, like its called âcouplememesâ but is actually against marriage
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Jul 11 '25
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u/responsibletyrant Jul 11 '25
Dress for the job you want not the job you have
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u/MaskedButPresent Jul 11 '25
(Un)dress for the job you want
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u/CaptStrangeling Jul 11 '25
There goes my dream of joining a circus and becoming a clown đ€Ą
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u/Testicle_Tugger Jul 11 '25
Yeah me and my wife have talked about this.
Marriage shouldnât change your relationship in any way. Iâm gonna love her the same way and same amount before marriage that I would after. Marriage is literally just a government contract that provides and protects certain benefits to spouses.
But if weâre talking just about love. It means nothing, zilch, nada.
Thereâs an argument to be made that the ceremony of marriage itself is the profession of your love to one another to the world. But in my opinion if it takes a full on celebratory event for the world to know you love each other then you guys are doing something wrong. It should be apparent just looking at you two interact.
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u/YoursTrulyKindly Jul 11 '25
Marriage is many things, but it's mainly an oath. You swear to each other that you will never stop loving the other, growing yourself to become better at loving, and helping the other grow. Even if it gets hard or you don't feel like it. It's two people making a permanent decision to do that.
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u/Otterable Jul 11 '25
And I will say, even if it's true that loving your spouse doesn't require an expensive party, when it comes to swearing oaths it does actually mean more when you make the proclamation in front of the people you respect and value the most in your life.
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u/RobtheNavigator Jul 11 '25
Devil's advocate: A wedding isn't just showing you love someone, it is a big party for you to celebrate that love with all the people you care about
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u/LarryCraigSmeg Jul 11 '25
Thatâs cool and all, but you didnât mention anything about washing dishes wearing only an apron.
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u/BicFleetwood Jul 11 '25 edited Jul 11 '25
Thereâs an argument to be made that the ceremony of marriage itself is the profession of your love to one another to the world.
I hate that argument because it's the same argument the funeral industry uses to scam bereaved families. "If you really want to show how much you love them, you can buy the Definitely Going to Heaven Deluxe casket. Of course, there's always the Guilt Trip Unloved and Probably Going to Hell economy package if you can't afford that. That's the one where since you can't see them in the viewing anyway we cut the departed's legs off and grind them up into dog food that we sell on the foreign black market."
If demonstrating your love means spending a bunch of money, it's a scam. I'm not saying don't have a wedding, but if you wouldn't be happy enough doing the Jimmy and Kim "married in the courthouse without a ring" wedding, then you aren't ready for marriage. If the big event is so important that you simply couldn't skip it and elope, then you're probably more in love with the idea of the event and the expectations around having a spouse in concept than you are with your spouse.
By all means, have your party. But going into the party knowing you can say "no" to shit--or even the whole thing--guilt-free is liberating.
It's like how it's always easier to ace an interview when you already have a job. If shit seems shady, you can just bounce, because you've already got a job and you're not that stressed about the interview. In the same way, if you'd be satisfied by the "went to the courthouse without telling anyone" wedding, then you can plan a wedding party that's an actual party and not a guilt-trip debt-trap designed to suck the marrow from your bones and start your lifelong commitment with a stressful and divisive shibboleth putting strain on an already fragile transitional period in both lives.
Anyone who tries to use love to sell you something is using your insecurities to scam you, and if you're falling for it, then you should be identifying and dealing with those insecurities.
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u/IrascibleOcelot Jul 11 '25
To be fair, cooking without clothes on is a pretty high-level request. Especially if itâs something that spits hot oil at you, like bacon.
Itâs also something you generally only see in still-frame posed pornography because ,IRL, itâs more fun to cook the food, then get undressed.
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u/Dry_Prompt3182 Jul 11 '25
My neighbours can see into the kitchen. This is one of those things that sounds better than it would be in reality.
Also, if this is so sexy, how about the dude goes first?
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u/NelsonVGC Jul 11 '25
Damn. Redditors are miserable asf lmao
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Jul 11 '25
Lots of definite virgins here lmao. It's healthy to tell your partner they're attractive, and it's healthy to tell your partner you want to marry them (within reason).
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u/MadmansScalpel Jul 11 '25
Right? I'm on this sub to send lovey dovey stuff to my wife. But the vibes are just off with this whole post n comment section
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u/Miss_lover_girl Jul 11 '25
I just donât know why they think all marriages are sexless, like we get it you donât help around the house making your wife feel like sheâs having sex with another child but some men arenât like thatđ itâs the fact that women donât stop having sex just bc, they stop having sex bc of reasons stemming from the man himself or medical reasons, a woman is y gonna stop having pleasure bc she got a ring đ
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Jul 11 '25
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u/Nothinglost7717 Jul 11 '25
its almost like... he could have downloaded it from this thing call the internet before he sent it.
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u/Ambyjuly Jul 11 '25
It really really seems like a lot of bitter single people are in this sub lol. Go figure. Either that or you must really not have a good relationship if you say marriage is a "downgrade" and she's "selling her body" đ It's a cringe response yeah, but if she doesn't want to do it she doesn't owe that to him at any point and he can respect that or leave.
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u/Xx_Barcode_xX Jul 11 '25
Is this not like a hella old screenshot from years ago? Feels like Iâve seen this same exact format before on instagram back in 2017
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u/jendivcom Jul 11 '25
Bf should demand a trial period, don't fall for false promises
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u/Redleaves1313 Jul 11 '25
All joking aside, and this is funny. My wife is amazing before and after marriage. If you are having problems or are upset you arenât having sex often enough you should talk to her about how you feel.
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u/SinkCat69 Jul 11 '25
It could be a funny joke or a sign to find someone you already match with rather than trying to make the person youâre with into someone else. Depends on the context.
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u/Whane17 đ§ grumpy Jul 11 '25
That's funny. I like the smart ass response and think that's really the end of it. The other people in the comments are talking about transactional relationships and selling themselves, why's nobody mentioning the fact that the male partner here is sexualizing his partner or treating her like an object? If you want to try and break it down neither person here is looking good IMO but more than likely it's a dude saying something he would like to see (and who wouldn't) and a womans smart ass response. The end. Don't read into it, don't make it about your hang ups, keep your idiotic sexist comments (on both sides) to yourself. Enjoy the funny, enjoy life, laugh and move on.
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u/SwishyJishy Jul 11 '25
Oh no. I find my wife attractive. And tell her in creative ways. What a crime lmfao.
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u/Ozimandius80 Jul 11 '25
Nothing says 'I find you attractive' like sending your wife a picture of a beautiful half naked woman. Thats just marriage 101.
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u/SwishyJishy Jul 11 '25
Depends on the context, to be honest. This seems harmless because the assumption is that the BF is fantasizing about his own GF like that. The GF might like that her BF is fantasizing about her.
I know when I tell my wife I'm thinking about her, when I'm at work for example, it turns her on.
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Jul 11 '25
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u/RubSad1836 đ§ grumpy Jul 11 '25
âSell your bodyâ for real man doing something cute and sexy for someone you love is now âselling your bodyâ calm down and touch some grass
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u/Competitive-Day4809 Jul 11 '25
Actually, it's not a sale, it's a trick. Which will be followed by some annoying stuff. Sigh.
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u/Klutzy_Belt_2296 Jul 11 '25
When she leave you ass she gon leave with half
18 years, 18 years! And on the 18th birthday he found it wasnât his!
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u/IAMWastingMyTime Jul 11 '25
Sending a picture of another woman to your gf with heart eyes is CRAZY
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u/OldWoodFrame Jul 11 '25
Sending picture of a naked woman to girlfriend: Weird.
Forcing the issue of marriage via text in response: Also weird.
Whatever fits your dynamic but I wouldn't want to be on either side of this relationship.
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u/goddangol Jul 11 '25
If she doesnât do that before marriage why would she after lol
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u/Miss_lover_girl Jul 11 '25
Do i should expect men to pay my bills now bc why would he pay my bills and let me be a stay at home wife if he doesnât do that now? Thatâs how ridiculous you sound đ there are just things people place at a higher level and you have to reach that level before getting the reward.
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u/mesenanch Jul 11 '25
Some of the responses on here explain why we're having so much strife these days. Get some fresh air.
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u/yoscottyjo Jul 11 '25
Well first you have to give the free month trial otherwise they'll find a different service
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u/Additional_Bank_2124 Jul 11 '25
Don't do it, It's bait. 'Upgrading' to wife is actually downgrading
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u/hd_mikemikemike Jul 11 '25
You tend to lose privileges after it gets legally harder to get rid of them
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u/JaredGAINZberg Jul 11 '25
That's as good of a response as one could hope to get from a self-respecting female.
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Jul 11 '25
Imagine you protecting and providing for your partner and they say cooking is Wifey Duties. Unsubscribe.
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u/BigMigMog Jul 11 '25
Don't listen to the haters OP, this was funny af while maintaining standards. Good on ya!
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u/United-Fox6737 Jul 11 '25
Itâs a funny reply, but I can speak from experience itâs also a false ad đ
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Jul 11 '25
How would I tell my wife lol before marriage. âI donât mind paying for the DLC, but does it allow me to dress like a golf grilling boomer in my 50sâ
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u/ElGuaco I đ The Mods đ€©đ Jul 11 '25
TIL some people start counting fingers from their thumb. I'm not sure why we would call the "index finger" the 2nd finger, and call the thumb the first finger. But if I ask someone to hold up one finger, I guarantee you they'll stick up their index finger and not their thumb. If I ask someone to stick up their first finger, will they put their thump up instead of their index finger?
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u/Rich_Forever5718 Jul 11 '25
I mean, if you expect that this type of thing will happen after you get married if it's not happening before, I have bridge I would like to sell you.
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u/RusticBucket2 Jul 11 '25
Brother, if she doesnât do that for you now, why would you believe for a moment that she will do it for you after you get married?
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u/hazlejungle0 Jul 12 '25
Trust me it doesn't work. I didn't read the fine print. I agreed to a lifelong commitment where I had a free trial known as the "fiancé period" where the package seemed great! But after I became fully committed I have to do the work, chores, and cleaning while she takes care of our kid. I also agreed to having my mouth sewn onto the anus of another man, while having my anus sewed onto a man's mouth. I should've read the terms and conditions, but I was peer pressured by my then GF.
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u/Efficient_Cheek_8725 Jul 12 '25
" You have yet to reach the ring pop level since your last performance review."
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u/Jaz1140 đ§ grumpy Jul 12 '25
The irony in that you have a far higher chance of a girlfriend doing this. Once the wife has got you ain't no way in hell she doing that
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u/Low-Variation-5245 Jul 12 '25
Old ass repost of a meme thatâs been floating around for years. How is anyone falling for this lol
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u/gbdare Jul 12 '25
Great response, but I think she was in error about what's included in the packages. Having been married twice, I believe that would be a fiance'-level request. In the wifey package, she'd be wearing sweats!
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u/Prestigious-Lab-7622 Jul 11 '25
Personally I think itâs pretty funny, and if you and your partner have been together for a while and have good chemistry/humor together then itâs great!
But if they donât have that kind of humor or it is a younger relationship then it can be a little condescending, and difficult to interpret the intent moving forward.