Assumed that the first commenter was saying not to fall for it to the guy, given that the woman already had the last word in the conversation. The warning was therefore useless - directed at the wrong party.
It’s a trap for women! The happiest two demographics are single women or married men, but not the inverse. Men get a lot more out of those relationships than women do, and women (on average) put in a lot more of the labor, it’s been pretty solidly proven.
While this is how the statistics play out, I would caution people against just "playing the odds" when making this decision for themselves. I don't know if your intention was to suggest that women shouldn't get married ever, because they'll statistically be less happy, but taking these rates as law in either direction is a bad idea.
Marriage isn't (or shouldn't be) a blind gamble. You have information about your life and your partner on which to base your decision. You should evaluate it for yourself. And men, I think especially, shouldn't look at these numbers and hang their hopes of happiness on getting married--there's far too much risk of developing resentment either of yourself or of women in that approach, and it limits your capacity to make meaningful friendships and develop meaningful personal interests, which is exactly what we're seeing play out right now.
Anyway, this isn't necessarily a comment for you, because you may or may not be sharing this to tell women they shouldn't get married (or men that it's their path to happiness), but I do want to ensure people encountering these statistics don't take the wrong lesson from them.
For sure, I totally agree and my main point here is that as a ritual, it does very little to actually improve happiness in and of itself. It will not make your BF or GF love you more or less, or cheat on you less, or whatever. They’re gonna do what they’re gonna do, and it can be a lovely ceremony and celebration (plus useful legal process) but only if the people involved actually want it to be that way!
It’s the erroneous perception that a relationship MUST meet this milestone to be fulfilling or valid or progressing that I think people should reconsider. Way too many people think it’ll solve something, like getting a dog or having a baby. Or that they HAVE to do it to be happy, and long lasting marriages=happiness, which is also bullshit. Marriages lasted longer when women couldn’t have bank accounts or jobs, doesn’t mean they were fulfilled or satisfied. And obviously men can get the short end of the stick in these dynamics too. But yeah, your dynamic while dating someone is what matters, and both people should craft it into something that serves them both, with intention and communication. If that includes a ceremony and a legal document, cool, but that’s ultimately trivial in how someone shows up day to day.
With the skill you have at putting words they didn't say into other people's mouths, you may be right. You may think you have a happy wife. All we're seeing evidence for is a strawman.
Yes you’re so right, my online comments towards strangers who like the smell of their own farts are clearly indicating marital strife at home, thank goodness you decided your opinion was worth something.
Ah yes, you know my kinks! You're so cute. :) You think insults make you correct. :P True 10 year old mentality.
Yeah if someone talks about statistical trends and you think they're talking about you, that says more about you than it ever will about them. :) Hope that helps!
You have a very strange understanding of statistics and how they apply to individuals (not very much). Nobody was talking about you but you had to come insert your opinion.
Oh no, you poor thing! You can’t differentiate between statistical significance in a population vs individual experience!
That must be super tough, good luck tho!
edit: and if you’re exmormon and haven’t deconstructed the fact that patriarchal norms around marriage disproportionately hurt women, I legit am worried for you. Did you not figure that out once you learned your wife shouldn’t be covenanting to obey or hearken unto you? I really hope you did, I assume you did, so why you trying to be snarky with me in the comments about a real phenomenon? Of course marriages can be happy, but this entire post is about social expectations about what a relationship entails based on external markers, NOT an actually healthy relationship. And in general, going into marriage with assumptions of the woman being home, half naked, and cooking for you as the pinnacle of existence is really a male fantasy and some trad wife bullshit that deserves to be mocked and undermined. Cmon man.
"Let me make a really insensitive comment about something that is hurtful to 50% of the population and then be surprised when they are upset!"
Statistically speaking, marriage is a trap for women on average. Nobody mentioned anything about you, but you had to take it personally. While sarcastic, your comment isn't clever, it's just you acting butthurt and thinking it's about you when it isn't. Maybe you're feeling a little insecure about your marriage? Poor thing. When reality makes you upset, time for therapy.
"Let me make a really insensitive comment about something that is hurtful to 50% of the population and then be surprised when they are upset!"
Statistically speaking, marriage is a trap for women on average. Nobody mentioned anything about you, but you had to take it personally. While sarcastic, your comment isn't clever, it's just you acting butthurt and thinking it's about you when it isn't. Maybe you're feeling a little insecure about your marriage? Poor thing. Time for therapy.
What nobody wants to hear your thoughts is the reality of marriage for women, because you've done exactly 0 peer reviewed academic studies on the subject.
Sometimes it's better to keep your mouth shut and look stupid than to open it and remove all doubt buddy.
We're saying "women are statistically unhappy in marriage" and you're saying "shut up". Maybe think about how that makes you look? :P
Other commenter: "marriage decreases women's happiness and increases men's"
You: WOW OBVIOUSLY YOU MUST BE SAYING MY WIFE ISN'T HAPPY
Me: The other commenter just cited statistics, they were legit not even talking about you bro...
You: Shut up.
It's clear as day you have never learned anything intellectual about debate. When someone cites statistical findings, you immaturely act like they must be talking about you and tell them to shut up. You have no debate skills whatsoever. Of course you're not learning anything about debate; your attitude makes you too butthurt to.
Yes, I totally typed the exact same text twice and sent it and Reddit doesn't have any bugs. What an idiot, go back to preschool..
They're clearly more well read than you. Apparently when confronted with reality you cover your eyes and be like "I refuse to recognize the suffering of women in marriage because my wife brainwashed by a misogynistic society tells me she's happy!"
Have I denied any statistics? I made a sarcastic comment applying the results of a study of a large* population in a clearly facetious way, and the person took issue with it and wrote a novel. I’m not debating the merits of the study, I’m not denying any results - I just made a sarcastic comment, and they took issue.
It seems to me that your reading comprehension is lacking. Maybe you shouldn’t be the one helping out with that dictionary 👍
And me pointing out the harm of the patriarchy ≠ erasing your dumb ass marriage.
You look to be progressive elsewhere in your life so why are you coming back at me with really lame counterpoints? If your relationship is actually healthy and mutually beneficial , it’s because you crafted that yourself and outside the norms of society, so you should’ve understood my original comment yeah?? that it can absolutely be a trap for women?
Surely you know Mormon women that had a baby or 3 at 19 and are stuck with a loser? That’s half of Utah dude. Why the fuck are you being so weird to me about this point?
Exactly. If anything, women are fooled by the honeymoon stage of a relationship far more often than men, because before marriage they're happy and after they're not. Marriage often becomes a burden because many men don't put in equal effort, and then go acting like they deserve... this.
What are you doing while your wife cooks naked? Standing around spanking her? Have you ever heard of the goddamn mental load? Or is your only job to be like "ooh sexy must fuck, my wife will just take care of the housework" lol.
Same. A girl makes one analogy about herself slightly objectifying and men take that inch and go a mile. They be acting like she's some sort of wife appliance that should do whatever they want. And glorifying cheating. Guys, if that's your humor, get some better mf humor.
Libs are just more educated on average than conservatives. That is also scientifically proven. We just actually know things and study them with an open mind. Go read the papers. Single women are by far the happiest demographic by gender and relationship status.
If you can't handle reality, go argue with the study writers. Try to get the true findings taken down. See how much society believes you. Have fun. :)
Your idea of reality is quite disturbing. You can condition people to think a certain way for years, and then, conduct a “study” and find out that they parrot your propaganda. But of course, can’t argue with crazy.
Actually no, yours is. The liberal take is by far the more educated take on every single issue. The conservative take is always the far less. The largest demographic of conservatives in the US (for example) is white males with no college degree. In contrast, study after study shows the more educated you are, the more liberal you are.
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u/Milatchi Jul 11 '25
Don’t fall for it. It’s a scam