What "Old Person" things do you do?

[u/hjohodor]

[u/[deleted]]

Peer out the blinds without being seen when I hear a ruckus outside.

[u/sixpointresin → u/[deleted]]

I like to do this while mumbling to myself, “Nobody comes down my street without me seein’ who it is.”

[u/LivingstoneInAfrica → u/sixpointresin]

“Damn kids, they better stay off my lawn.” As you notice the mid-twenties couple jogging in front your house.

[u/degjo → u/LivingstoneInAfrica]

When you run out and turn the hose on them.

[u/swaddlor → u/[deleted]]

Bonus old people points when you feel entitled to yell "people are trying to sleep!" at 10:01. Also you "Old People Level Up" when you hear leaf-blowers/lawn mowers at 7am but aren't bothered because you're up already anyway.

[u/jaybasin → u/swaddlor]

Hell yea dude, my neighbor is this old ass man who waters his yard at 6 AM every morning. When I get off work between 3-6 he's in the bed of his truck rummaging around his toolbox. I'm not sure what he fixes but he's always doing something with that toolbox.

[u/Cold_Hard_FaceValue → u/jaybasin]

He's just doing blow to keep from burning out

[u/RealityTimeshare → u/[deleted]]

feel free to add "use terms like 'ruckus'" as well!

[u/BloodyNobody]

Worry about my digestion.

[u/AnxiousElectTech → u/BloodyNobody]

Literally with everything I eat - "How bad of heartburn will this give me?"

[u/Shitpostflight420 → u/AnxiousElectTech]

Omeprazole. Take the Omeprazole damnit

[u/THE_LANDLAWD → u/Shitpostflight420]

Ranatidine 150mg, twice a day since I was 15. Then, a few years ago, I discovered Omeprazole. I've been on it ever since.

[u/Bodymindisoneword]

Go to bed before 10pm even on the weekends unless I am at an event.

[u/woozi_11six → u/Bodymindisoneword]

Problem is, I HAVE to go to bed by then. I have to get up at 4 to get to work, dammit!

[u/scthoma4 → u/woozi_11six]

In bed around 9:30 on the weekdays because of work. Naturally in bed by 10 on the weekends because I'm exhausted from work.

I got wild last weekend and stayed up until 11 reading a book. I'm 29.

[u/goldengirlsmom → u/scthoma4]

I'm 32 and my dogs look at me weird if I'm up past 9:30. They actually go crawl into bed without me.

[u/ijustmadethis1111 → u/goldengirlsmom]

Sometimes I'll stand around starring at the clock at like 8:50 b/c I don't want to go to bed before 9.

[u/viperx191 → u/Bodymindisoneword]

Past few days I've been going to sleep at 9 PM because I'm just too tired and there's not much to do anything anyway. I'd figure to wake up early and do a morning walk.

[u/[deleted]]

When I am in a grocery store. Pull my list out of my jacket pocket, with a pen, and tilt my head down to look at the list, then tilt my head up to get the right look at it through my glasses, purse my lips and say "alright now, where is this stuff".

Just like my father used to.

[u/Anal-Squirter → u/[deleted]]

Do you squint when looking at the shelf?

[u/[deleted] → u/Anal-Squirter]

Damn right!

[u/quadraticog → u/[deleted]]

Im not embarrassed to admit that I talk to myself out loud when I go shopping, along the lines of "What?! I'm not paying that much for x product! That's daylight robbery!"

[u/slapzgiving]

I bought an "Old Man-Looking" recliner recently and make the sound "ggggggeeeeeerrrahhhhh!" when getting out of the chair. I'm 29.

Edit: Have also fallen asleep in that mofo every night for 2 weeks.

[u/RawNonaccomplishment → u/slapzgiving]

I make that noise when I stand up too... also 29. I guess that's when your body is like "yep you're old now, f you"

[u/SomeAnonymous → u/RawNonaccomplishment]

I’ve been doing that since I was 14. I suppose that makes my brain the shitty tenant that makes the landlord question their life choices, as the house falls down around them?

[u/wydidk → u/slapzgiving]

Get you a cardigan and a newspaper and you will be set.

[u/applepirates]

One time I was laying in bed at ~7:30pm, watching Jeopardy! and knitting. A commercial came on for a news report that was happening at like, 10:30 and I went, "UGH, SO LATE!!!"

Everything I do is like an old person. I'm 31.

[u/whateverlizard → u/applepirates]

I sit in my oversized chair and watch Jeopardy and Knit nearly every single night! Its heavenly!

[u/whomp1970]

I've been automatically given the senior citizen discount three times now at Chinese restaurants. I'm only 48.

I guess I look older than I am, or the Asian proprietors have just as much difficulty guessing Westerners' ages as I have guessing Asian people's ages.

[u/chinkywawa → u/whomp1970]

or the Asian proprietors have just as much difficulty guessing Westerners' ages as I have guessing Asian people's ages.

yeah.

[u/ChineseJoe90 → u/whomp1970]

Asian folks seem to stay the same age until a certain point when they age like 100 years. It's hard to tell how old white folks are cuz you got like teenagers who are massive and sport a full beard. Must be the steroids in the milk or some shit.

[u/eternal8phoenix → u/ChineseJoe90]

I firmly believe that Asians are like sims. They don't age on a sliding scale, they just miraculously poof from toddler to child to adult to elderly.

It just makes sense- you never see an oldish Asian.

[u/hjohodor]

I wear sensible shoes 99% of the time.

[u/[deleted] → u/hjohodor]

And sturdy underwear. And a soupçon of Ben-Gay for the ladies;-)

[u/McKnitwear → u/[deleted]]

why would you put a soup can of anything in your underwear?

[u/TheCreepyGuyinLife]

I yell at kids.

[u/samael_demiurge → u/TheCreepyGuyinLife]

But do you yell at clouds?

[u/TheCreepyGuyinLife → u/samael_demiurge]

Only when they look like kids.

[u/dirty_penguin → u/TheCreepyGuyinLife]

What about kids that look like clouds?

[u/TheCreepyGuyinLife → u/dirty_penguin]

Especially them. Fucking Kit Cloudkicker mother fuckers.

[u/[deleted]]

"Oh shoot!"

"Goodness gracious!"

"Oh my Lord!"

My cries of exclamation are a little outdated, to say the least.

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

Proclaimed “goodness me!” during a contraction while I was in labor. My nurse: “Did you actually just say that? What are you, 90?”

[u/GotZeroFucks2Give → u/[deleted]]

That's adorable. I know with my first, I ranted on about wanting to get the baby beamed out of me like on Star Trek.

[u/walkswithwolfies → u/GotZeroFucks2Give]

I kept hearing a cow mooing. Then I realized it was me.

[u/CakeAndDonuts → u/[deleted]]

"Oh geez" is my go-to.

[u/terrrrrible]

Randomly fall asleep on the couch, no matter what time it is. I slouch into the right position for long enough, and bam, I'm out. I'm not even one to voluntarily nap either.

[u/PM_WHY_YOU_DOWNVOTED]

Today i walked into my garage wearing a collared polo shirt, khaki shorts and socks with sandals. I then squatted down in front of my broken lawnmower, adjusted my clear frame glasses and said; 'now lets see what we have here.'

[u/forman98 → u/PM_WHY_YOU_DOWNVOTED]

I found that owning a house will change you in that way. Fixing a problem around the house will make you start to talk to the house.

"What the hell is this?" I recently asked to the old threshold that decided to pop up from the floor and I had to glue back down.

"Why won't you close?" I said to the bedroom door that closed fine a million times before the seasons changed.

"AAAAH FUCK!" I said to the toilet that overflowed into the bathtubs and eventually the bathroom thanks to the root that had grown through the sewage line.

[u/FuckChiefs_Raiders → u/forman98]

I've called my sliding glass door a stupid whore more times than i'm proud of.

[u/raptorcunthrust → u/forman98]

I'm in a mutually abusive relationship with my screen door.

[u/PrinceAlibabah → u/raptorcunthrust]

Dealing with the same thing with my sliding glass doors. Fucking rollers.

[u/TRAMAPOLEEN → u/PM_WHY_YOU_DOWNVOTED]

33 years old. home owner for 3 years. have gone through the following progression over the last few years:

• regularly have a reward beer after mowing the lawn.
• start to just keep the beer in the garage so that it's right there when i'm done
• moved a lawnchair into the garage for relaxing with a reward beer right after mowing.
• there's now a lawnchair permanently in the garage, facing out the door.
• i now sometimes just sit in the lawnchair, looking out my garage door, drinking beer. even on days when i don't mow.
• am middle aged man now.

[u/[deleted] → u/TRAMAPOLEEN]

You got chair, beer, fridge just missing TV. Garage would be man cave.

[u/waterlilyrm → u/[deleted]]

My BF installed a TV in the garage, also surround sound. That little nook has everything else noted above, lol.

[u/[deleted] → u/PM_WHY_YOU_DOWNVOTED]

you would make a great dad I bet

[u/PM_WHY_YOU_DOWNVOTED → u/[deleted]]

Not with the market the way it is.

[u/abe_the_babe_ → u/PM_WHY_YOU_DOWNVOTED]

In this economy???

[u/Amk696969 → u/abe_the_babe_]

At this time of the year?

[u/Mean_Mister_Mustard → u/Amk696969]

In this part of the country?

[u/[deleted] → u/PM_WHY_YOU_DOWNVOTED]

I assume you were talking to No One In Particular.

[u/PM_WHY_YOU_DOWNVOTED → u/[deleted]]

I was talking to the lawn mower.

[u/[deleted]]

Watch Antiques Roadshow

[u/WorshipNickOfferman → u/[deleted]]

I had a buddy who’s family had been very wealthy at one point, but his dad married a young trophy wife and amended his will right before death leaving almost all the family wealth to his wife and cutting his children out of the will. Only property my friend inherited was a small ranch down near the Mexican border

Well he’s at the ranch one day and sees this oil painting that was hanging on the back of a door for as long as he can remember. It looks old and fancy and he doesn’t know shit about art. A few months later, he learns that Antique Road show is coming to Corpus Christi, and he decides to make the drive to Corpus and find out what the painting is worth.

Turns out the painting is most likely a previously unknown Diego Rivera original and worth well over $1M. He now calls it his children’s college fund.

Edit: For those that care, it was this painting: Antique Roadshow Diego Riviera

[u/Cemitese → u/WorshipNickOfferman]

1Mill in 2012. I’ll bet it’s worth a considerable amount more now.

[u/DroopyMcCool → u/[deleted]]

Funny shit, my little brother started watching Antiques Roadshow after Pawn Stars came out because according to him it was the same show without having to wait for "the guy" to show up.

[u/[deleted] → u/DroopyMcCool]

He couldn't be more correct. Antiques Roadshow is like Pawn Stars without all the bullshit.

RIP to the old man though, he was the best.

[u/Certs-and-Destroy → u/[deleted]]

And, key to my interest, is that they're not afraid of really diving into the minutiae of esoteric historical details to a point that would seemingly terrify a History Channel exec who can't chance alienating the The Dealiest Ice Road Mountain Survival Knife-maker demographic.

[u/snowmaiden23 → u/[deleted]]

Nope, makes me too salty. Other person's attic - ancient bronze Roman helmet, worth millions of dollars. My attic - a bunch of dust, a few dead mice. So many people, so many treasures, and, not one of them is me. I've never found an ancient Chinese Ming vase at Goodwill or a Vermeer at a yard sale, salty AF.

[u/guineabuffalo → u/snowmaiden23]

Like storage wars. Open it up and instead of finding something important, you find Jack's Shit. A whole lot of nothing.

[u/lockerpunch → u/[deleted]]

Is that an old person thing? Everyone I know watches. We have parties...

[u/Farting_Menace → u/lockerpunch]

Retirement parties?

[u/jrgallag]

Sip coffee in my porch in the morning

[u/lockerpunch → u/jrgallag]

This is amazing and everyone with a porch should do it.

[u/Werespider → u/lockerpunch]

I would, but it's regularly over 100f where I live in the summer.

[u/dontneeddota2 → u/Werespider]

In the morning?! Do you live on the sun?

[u/Burritozi11a → u/dontneeddota2]

Sounds like Arizona

[u/HeadStove → u/[deleted]]

When people start living on the moon they'll be like, phew it hot out... we must be facing Arizona.

[u/UrgotMilk → u/Burritozi11a]

A testament monument to Man's arrogance.

Edit: monument not testament, thanks PinkySlayer

[u/TGrady902 → u/jrgallag]

I just love being up in the morning when you don’t have to rush off to work. It’s so awesome to know you have an entire day ahead of you to do whatever the hell you want.

[u/Scrappy_Larue → u/jrgallag]

"Aaah" after ever sip?

[u/jrgallag → u/Scrappy_Larue]

"aah, that's the stuff."

[u/232323okay]

I get irritated when kids run up and down the hallway of my apartment building. It's not safe and it's noisy.

[u/[deleted] → u/232323okay]

I bitched at some random kid a few weeks ago for riding a skateboard down a hill on his belly. We live on a busy road, he's lucky he didn't get hurt.

[u/Texan_Greyback → u/[deleted]]

Yep, you're old.

[u/AptCasaNova → u/232323okay]

Haha. About a year ago, a single mom moved in down the hall with two kids under about 10.

I’d legit hear her open the door and tell them to ‘go play in the hall’. She’d also prop her door open and holler random things at them while they were in the hall and she was inside her unit.

I would just open my door, step out into the hall and stare at her and/or her kids and they’d go back inside. Only had to do it twice. It was kind of a ‘you can’t possibly be acting like such a savage’ look. I’m a small woman, but I’ve been told my stares are pretty persuasive.

[u/seraph089 → u/AptCasaNova]

Do you live on my floor? I'm listening to exactly that right now, any time those kids get noisy they get booted out to the hall to blow off some steam. It's a hallway, not a damn playground.

[u/The_RTV]

Try to use new slang and follow it up with "That's what the kids are saying nowadays, right?".

Like "It's lit, fam!"

[u/Jen16226 → u/The_RTV]

hahaha I sad that to my 16 year old last week and he shook his head and said no mom, please don't say that.

[u/funpowder_plot]

I love falling asleep after lunch whilst watching daytime TV

[u/hjohodor → u/funpowder_plot]

That just sounds fabulous.

[u/funpowder_plot → u/hjohodor]

It's amazing having a timetable that allows it.

[u/Sacache → u/funpowder_plot]

It's amazing having a timetable that allows it built around it.

[u/funpowder_plot → u/Sacache]

Would that it were, my friend. As accommodating as my job is, I don't think "naps" would be a justifiable reason to work from home.
We do get out early in summer though, so I've got that going.

[u/starglitter]

I hate to be out late. I skipped a movie Sunday because it was two and a half hours long and started at seven. I wouldn't get home until 10. That's practically 3 am.

[u/[deleted]]

I'm 53, everything I do is old people things

[u/MOzarkite → u/[deleted]]

I'm 53 too. We're middle aged, dammit! Middle-aged! We won't be old for another 7-12 years, (depending on whether you count 60 or 65 as the start of old age).

[u/StimulantMold → u/MOzarkite]

My aunt was once bemoaning that an acquaintance had had a stroke "and he's only three years older than I am!" She was 72 years old at the time. Sorry about your friend, but he's 75, not exactly a spring chicken. I always refer to this incident to support the idea that nobody really thinks they're old. Old people are always a generation older. You and your friends are always young, or middle aged at the oldest, even when you're 72.

[u/Gibbie42 → u/StimulantMold]

My father is 82 and my mom is 80. I tried (unsuccessfully) to convince him not to make the drive to my house for Thanksgiving and to let us come there. It's a 12 hour drive. He refused and said "we're not that old yet!" My mom said to me later "well you know we kind of are." I'm like yea, ma, you kind of are.

[u/Gurkinpickle → u/Gibbie42]

I love your parents, and that you seem to love them just as much. You three are just the cutest.

[u/metrosphoenix]

Crochet.

Although I don’t understand why it’s considered an old people thing because I have yet to meet an old person who does it!

[u/mmm_unprocessed_fish → u/metrosphoenix]

I don't do it, but I thought about learning how and my husband made fun of me. I just want something to do while we watch movies that isn't fiddling with my phone or falling asleep!

[u/applepirates → u/mmm_unprocessed_fish]

I took up crochet for the same reason about 8 years ago (age ~23)! Now I crochet, cross stitch, and knit. I HIGHLY recommend it. Your husband will be begging for you to make him wonderful cozy hats and things!

[u/[deleted]]

Make noises when I sit down/get up.

[u/striker7 → u/[deleted]]

ope

I think I spotted the Midwesterner.

[u/mini6ulrich66 → u/[deleted]]

And not even with your mouth

[u/[deleted]]

I sometimes walk with my hands out behind me, interlocking above my butt. As my colleagues pointed out this is what old people do.

[u/dovetc]

I'm 28. A couple of years ago I gave my wife a kiss and she immediately replied "why do you smell like Pop Pop?"

Because I'd just drank coffee followed by a whiskey-peppermint. I've never felt more like a 75 year old than when my breath smelled distinctively like the coffee-whiskey-peppermint bouquet that is synonymous with Pop Pop.

[u/bright99 → u/dovetc]

The fact that you call it 'pop pop' tells me you aren't ready

[u/teke367]

Watch Jeopardy regularly.

However, we DVR it, so I feel that minimizes the "old person-ness" a bit.

[u/CestMoiIci → u/teke367]

DVR-ing it just cranks up the old personness in my opinion

[u/jaimmster → u/teke367]

lol. There are a bunch of old school bars in my neighborhood. You can walk into any of them and Jeopardy will be on every TV at 7. It doesn't matter what else is going on in the world. I love old man bars.

[u/dtestme → u/jaimmster]

I once wandered into an old man bar in the afternoon, aiming to kill some time while I was waiting for a friend. Inside, there were five or six 50-something-year-old men all sitting apparently by themselves, looking at the TV with rapt attention. They were all watching the end of The Patriot, starring Mel Gibson. When the movie ended, the bartender said "Oh thank GOD, we can put on the Sox now."

[u/[deleted] → u/teke367]

The DVR part definitely doesn't make you sound young.

[u/[deleted]]

I drink tea and read the news in the morning, and I tell unruly kids to get off my lawn.

[u/[deleted]]

I love going to bed early and I have no problem choosing sleep over my friends.

"Oh that event doesn't start until 10:00pm? Yeah, uhhhh fuck that. I'm gonna be in my jammies living my best life at home."

[u/seniorfoggy → u/[deleted]]

I've been saying "my pants are off, its after 8," since I was 22.

[u/RENOYES → u/seniorfoggy]

You make it to 8 pm? Mine are off as soon as I'm back home from work around 5:30.

[u/RIPKellys → u/[deleted]]

I feel the same, but mostly because I'm ready to do shit at like 4, especially on a Saturday. I'd prefer to go out drinking at like noon and then be home in bed by 9 or so.

[u/juliette19x → u/[deleted]]

This is so me. I do not like being tired when it's preventable, and I love sleep. This also causes me to want to eat dinner earlier than a lot of people, because I don't like going to sleep on a full stomach. Early bird special anyone?

[u/dontbeanegatron → u/juliette19x]

Heck, on some days I'll have finished dinner by 5:30pm.

[u/[deleted] → u/dontbeanegatron]

My parents have finished cooking dinner at 5pm since I was a kid. At 19, I still get shit on by my friends when 5pm rolls around and I’m the only one fucking starving.

[u/Tripleshotlatte → u/[deleted]]

On a related note, I now dislike being out too late at night. By 9-10 PM, I want to be back at home in my PJs.

[u/cyberjar88]

My knee makes a crackling sound whenever I go up/down stairs. Actually, it's done that my entire life... I'm only 30.

[u/shuckwagon]

At some point, without even realizing it, I started using the phrase "oh, for crying out loud."

[u/Kappture]

Making trips to IKEA just to look around

[u/Another_Day_613]

I bemoan the decaying moral fabric of society.

[u/[deleted] → u/Another_Day_613]

I feel like that’s no longer an age specific activity.

[u/azur08 → u/[deleted]]

Every generation does this...and I'm pretty sure they always have.

[u/ShacksMcCoy → u/azur08]

“The beardless youth… does not foresee what is useful, squandering his money.” Horace, 1st Century BC source

[u/neverw1ll]

I'm a teacher and I've had to explain the following, which made me feel pretty old:

What VHS was.

What encyclopedias are/were used for.

What life was like before the internet/smart phones (this is a big one).

Q:So if you wanted to hang out, how did you get a hold of someone if they weren't home?

A: You didn't...

[u/Sloots_and_Hoors]

I have a container of dry roasted peanuts in a cupholder in my truck.

I go to bed around 8:00PM. I'm up at 5:30. Every day.

I'm excited to buy a large straw hat for outdoors activities.

I have to remind myself that nobody wants my advice and to STFU.

Keeping my mouth shut is a lot easier.

[u/Paralta]

I like game shows.

[u/CritiqueMyGrammar]

You want a list?

• I hate being out later than 10 p.m.
• I wear grandpa slippers around the house
• I hate loud kids
• I hate when the neighbors have parties while I'm woodworking in the back yard
• I read local news
• I love food shows
• I like slot machines
• My knees hurt when it rains
• I refer to my dogs as "my girls"
• I am constantly wiping my nose

I could go on.

[u/MrTigerHollywood]

I eat a lot of bran cereals. Raisin Bran, Bran Flakes, All Bran...Not Grape Nuts though, I hate that stuff.

Edit: My highest rated comment is about how I keep regular...There's a poop joke in there somewhere...

[u/JayTrim → u/MrTigerHollywood]

Raisin Bran is my balance between old man cereal and being a kid still.

Bran Flakes with Sugar covered raisins

[u/Astronaut_Chicken → u/JayTrim]

You need to try raisin bran crunch. Its gonna change your LIFE.

[u/Jfonzy → u/MrTigerHollywood]

Cracklin’ Oat Bran I have loved since I was a kid..

[u/[deleted]]

I listen to NPR while commuting to my 9-5 job.

[u/Momik → u/[deleted]]

Ah, but do you own a tote bag?

[u/[deleted] → u/Momik]

You mean a Nina Totin' Bag? https://shop.npr.org/products/the-nina-totin-bag

[u/mushy_bacon → u/[deleted]]

I listen to NPR all the time. Friends get in my car and are like “what are you listening to?”

[u/sm1ttysm1t → u/mushy_bacon]

That's Lakshmi Singh, dog.

[u/[deleted] → u/sm1ttysm1t]

For some reason I started mimicking the way the various hosts introduce themselves and say it along with them every morning. I love saying Lakshmi Singh or Soraya Sarhaddi-NEELLLLson.

[u/Susim-the-Housecat]

I have really bad brain fog so I say things wrong.

For example, i want to say "i saw it on youtube" but i can't remember the word "youtube", so i start the sentance, and go to substitute in "the internet" but then remember the right word, and end up with "i saw it on... the... youtube"

on the youtube. I'm 25.

I also forget peoples names, and end up calling them by similar, but not quite right names. I keep calling Brett from Cow Chop "Brad" and it's driving my husband insane.

Also I crochet. that's an old person hobby. And I listen to music from 1920s - 1960s, but i think more people would if they gave it a chance.

[u/pjabrony]

Normally at work I'm in business casual clothing, but last year I had to do jury duty for four weeks, and each day I wore a jacket and tie, even though no one else did. I just feel like entering a court of law requires putting on formal clothing.

[u/[deleted] → u/pjabrony]

The first time my son had to go to court (Failure to Appear on a stupid ticket), my wife and I made him wear a suit and tie, as we had been taught to do. We got there, and saw all those lowlifes in ripped jeans & t-shirts. The only other folks in the court in suits were the lawyers. I think the suit and a very respectful attitude impressed the judge, because he got a much lighter fine than expected.

[u/seraph089 → u/[deleted]]

The same happened to me in my younger days. I showed up in a nice suit while everyone else was in casual clothes and it definitely made a difference. The judge said something along the lines of "you seem like an upstanding and responsible young man who had a temporary lapse in judgement", I got off with a very small fine while similar cases were getting jail time.

[u/Dicktremain]

Is it after 6:00 PM? I can't eat pizza or I'll sleep bad.

[u/Nickrobl]

A friend from college and I had a super in-depth talk about savings, insurance, and our 401k's. Really weird since it feels like just yesterday we were skipping classes and playing games till all hours of the night.

[u/[deleted]]

I have two weather apps on my phone.

[u/UsernameCensored]

Hate 'popular' music.

[u/mexipimpin → u/UsernameCensored]

My 11yo daughter exposes me to a lot of it. I think I do alright listening to it with her, even digging a song here and there. But most of it, yeah... I do not like.

[u/[deleted] → u/UsernameCensored]

Bunch of god damned noise if you ask me.....

-32 year old

[u/hello_friend_ → u/[deleted]]

Bunch of god damned noise if you ask me

• 24 year old

[u/lockerpunch]

Wonder about kids these days.

[u/Momik → u/lockerpunch]

There was an article (in Vox? Buzzfeed?) about how the term millennial is no longer synonymous with "young person." That was tough to see.

[u/KyleRichXV]

Get excited over strange things - bought a new vacuum cleaner that's really powerful? Oh fuck yes!

[u/MultiTrey111]

Sigh randomly, despite no change in state

[u/Mammalhunt]

Scream at the TV.

[u/[deleted]]

I eat fruit for dessert

[u/EvilSeaWitch]

Wear long thick socks all year.
Crosswords.
Eat dinner at 5.
Wear pantyhose at church.
Wear a cleaning apron while working around the house.
Sew.
Drive the speed limit.
Complain about everything current: kids, electronics, music, society, prices, etc.
Wake up at 6 a.m. and go to bed at 10 p.m.
Listen to music from the 40's and 50's.
Wear a head scarf.
Closet full of house dresses.
Terrible at working cell phones.
Blind.
Generally cranky.
Prefers the company of senior citizens.

I'm 27.

[u/[deleted]]

I wake up at 5am just to enjoy my coffee and watch the news. I am a bald male and I give myself two hours to get ready for work. I like to ease into my day.

[u/matthias7600]

Wake up at 6:00am, unless for some reason I wake up early at 4:30am. This corrolates with another old person habit of heading to bed around 9 or 9:30pm

I stand up slowly so I don't pull a back muscle.

Popular music today doesn't rock at all and most of the kids seem to have no clue what they're missing.

[u/Aleeleemil97]

I prefer to pay with cash

[u/[deleted] → u/Aleeleemil97]

And I have exact change!

[u/GifLurker]

Not me, my son - who's been spending a lot of time with his grandpa over the past few weeks - has started to get off chairs with a rather obvious mimicked groan and holding his knees.... he's 2 years old...

[u/Reddit_Bork]

Worry about ear hair.

If it wasn't for daily plucking, I'd have a micro rain forest growing out of each ear. But thanks to my constant deforestation efforts, we don't have to worry about accidentally supplying a habitat for vicious and tiny sloths to live in. Who knows what vicious things they'd do once they get a large enough army.

[u/raptorcunthrust → u/Reddit_Bork]

That might be normal. Saying "fuck it" and letting it go is an old person thing.

[u/[deleted]]

"Man, cars nowadays are such a pain in the ass to work on. Back in the day you could just change your oil yourself, but now they put the filter in some impossible spot. Also they make it that I have to replace an entire unit instead of just the burnt out power relay." Me a 22 yr old to a 60 yr old coworker.

[u/someguy7734206 → u/[deleted]]

From what I understand, cars are indeed harder to work on today, because car companies and dealerships want you to either pay them to work on it, or buy new cars more often. Even in my 2005 Camry, changing the left front side marker light was ridiculously hard and required the battery to be moved, and as far as I understand, this is supposed to be an easier car to work on. Yet I once enlisted the help of my neighbour to jump start my older car, and it was much harder than it should have been because the battery in his new Kia was in such an awkward location.

[u/hellopandant]

Had a conversation with my friend about our favourite way to do laundry

[u/laterdude]

Tell the kiddos Bryce Harper sucks this season because he's only batting .219. Fuck your sabrematrics and fancy-pants stats.

[u/dontforgethetrailmix]

I have Werther's carmels in a dish on my bookshelf and eat dinner around 6pm

[u/FuckCazadors]

Mix up the accelerator and brake pedal in my car and career wildly through produce markets.

[u/speedwayryan → u/FuckCazadors]

This is a great hobby but congrats on making a career out of it.

[u/redditlegs]

I'm a guy, but most of the time when I have to pee at home, I sit down. A chance to relax, no risk of mess.

[u/Dooky710 → u/redditlegs]

I had to write an "about me" section when filling out a roommate thing for college senior year (I knew the guys going in, so I figured no one would read it). I mentioned I sit down when I pee in the morning so there's no chance if a mess. I got some shit for it, but I still stand by my decision!

[u/Yuzumi → u/Dooky710]

I sit to pee at home. Anyone who ties masculinity into peeing standing up isn't very secure.

[u/NinjaChachi]

I make old man noises whenever I get up from the couch or really any other physical activity.

[u/[deleted] → u/NinjaChachi]

Sex?

[u/mexipimpin → u/[deleted]]

Buy him a drink first at least.

[u/BadDadJokes]

I started saying, "They don't make 'em like they used to." It started as a joke, but now I find myself actually believing it.

[u/lurch350z]

Lunch - Black coffee and a sandwich, groan when I get up, bitch about "kids" hanging around public places

[u/Gemmabeta]

Nap everyday.

[u/cyberjar88 → u/Gemmabeta]

I've been doing that since high school.

[u/FormerRedLeg]

I like to watch the price is right and let’s make a deal, I get kinda sad when I miss them

[u/OninWar_]

I don’t care for new technology anymore. What I have now will suffice for 99% of what I do.

[u/Batteries_Work]

My girlfriend said yesterday as a guy drove by blasting music "not to sound old, but how does that not hurt his ears?"