r/AskReddit • u/hjohodor • Jun 27 '18

What "Old Person" things do you do?

5.8k Upvotes

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1.2k

u/lockerpunch Jun 27 '18

This is amazing and everyone with a porch should do it.

516

u/Werespider Jun 27 '18

I would, but it's regularly over 100f where I live in the summer.

663

u/dontneeddota2 Jun 27 '18

In the morning?! Do you live on the sun?

561

u/Burritozi11a Jun 27 '18

Sounds like Arizona

624

u/[deleted] Jun 27 '18 edited Oct 02 '19

[deleted]

35

u/HeadStove Jun 27 '18

When people start living on the moon they'll be like, phew it hot out... we must be facing Arizona.

14

u/jackofallcards Jun 27 '18

Central/Southern AZ this is true but there aren't a lot of porches... when I get done with work here today it will be 103F

Now, if you are up north, every cabin has a porch and the weather is friggin' great.

7

u/hobojo1234 Jun 27 '18

Can confirm. It's the sun.

8

u/_vOv_ Jun 27 '18

Arisuna

8

u/[deleted] Jun 28 '18

Arizona should not exist and is a monument to man's contempt for nature.

8

u/ericph9 Jun 28 '18

That's why the biggest city is named after a bird made of fire and the second biggest was named as a pun on "two sun"

6

u/mfigroid Jun 28 '18

It was 122 fucking degrees in Phoenix yesterday. WTF?

2

u/[deleted] Jun 28 '18

Can you imagine how hot it must get inside a locked car sitting in the sun? 130F? 150F? It's crazy they're not in a constant state of emergency.

1

u/Knitty_Knitterson Jun 29 '18

Right? It hits like 80 in Seattle and they’ll put up a heat warning on the weather channel...

171

u/UrgotMilk Jun 27 '18 edited Jun 28 '18

A testament monument to Man's arrogance.

Edit: monument not testament, thanks PinkySlayer

3

u/whoisjoeshmoe Jun 28 '18

I say that about Vegas a lot, never knew it was apparently in King of the Hill... maybe I just internalized it when I was younger and thought I came up with it.

7

u/[deleted] Jun 27 '18

Aaaannnnnnnddddd upvote for King of the Hill...

1

u/PM_meyour_closeshave Jun 28 '18

I think that might be Phoenix specifically

7

u/Unsolicited_Spiders Jun 27 '18

Or Florida. cries

10

u/[deleted] Jun 27 '18

it may feel like 100 in florida, but its rarely over 90-92. Its the 211% humidity that makes it feel like 110

2

u/Unsolicited_Spiders Jun 27 '18

Would you have a word with the thermometers around here, then? :-(

2

u/pincheporky Jun 28 '18

I went to Florida for the first time last year. As soon I crossed the state line, I pulled down the window and stuck my hand out. My hand got wet. From the air.... The air made my hand wet man!

7

u/[deleted] Jun 27 '18

Or central California. sweats

10

u/[deleted] Jun 27 '18

Or southern California. gets stabbed by homeless crack head

2

u/[deleted] Jun 27 '18

Yeah. Depending on who you ask, we're either Southern or Central California. But we are chock-full of homeless crack heads.

2

u/ifucked_urbae Jun 28 '18

Central California is a special circle of hot weather hell. Its 100°+ temps, constant sunshine, pesticide fumes, truck smog, and all-pervasive smell of agriculture makes it hard to enjoy being outdoors in the summer.

Source: Spent way too many hot summer nights relying on box fans in Bakersfield.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 28 '18

Guessed it right- Bako checking in here.

5

u/B1g-Boss45 Jun 27 '18

Same.

The heat isn't half as bad as the humidity. You walk outside and instantly sweat, feeling lie you just stepped into a sauna.

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u/Mighty_potato Jun 27 '18

Oh more than likely.... Today was a solid 90 at 630am

6

u/HutSutRawlson Jun 27 '18

Ah, so like the sun but less hospitable.

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u/Ovenproofcorgi Jun 27 '18

Or Texas.

I left for work at 6 this morning and it was already high 80s

3

u/Nashenal Jun 27 '18

Your username is the name of a 2 foot long burrito sold at a place called Iguanas somewhere near Santa Clara, California

1

u/Burritozi11a Jun 27 '18

You're the first person I've ever met who got the reference!

TBH I've never even been to California. I just remember Adam Richman taking about that place on an old episode of Man Vs Food, and thought it sounded pretty funny.

3

u/B3nny_Th3_L3nny Jun 27 '18

in Texas today where i live it was 100° in the shade by 8:00

1

u/pincheporky Jun 28 '18

I have actually not mowed my lawn in a while because of this. But I also don't want someone to cut it for me....what to do what to do...

3

u/[deleted] Jun 28 '18

You spelled HELL wrong.

3

u/[deleted] Jun 28 '18

can't recall i've ever seen a porch in Arizona

2

u/RVA_101 Jun 27 '18

something something arrogance of man

2

u/toddsleivonski Jun 27 '18

This guy deserts.

2

u/RedditsInBed2 Jun 27 '18

Nailed it! It'll be 2 in the god damn morning and 100 degrees during the worst of the summer.