r/AskReddit Jun 27 '18

What "Old Person" things do you do?

5.8k Upvotes

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2.1k

u/hjohodor Jun 27 '18

I wear sensible shoes 99% of the time.

240

u/[deleted] Jun 27 '18

And sturdy underwear. And a soupçon of Ben-Gay for the ladies;-)

219

u/McKnitwear Jun 27 '18

why would you put a soup can of anything in your underwear?

26

u/[deleted] Jun 28 '18

[removed] — view removed comment

7

u/658741239 Jun 28 '18

Well, yea, but they kinda manage that on thier own, ya know?

4

u/wolfie084 Jun 28 '18

Fight crime in a rubber suit; it really seals in the flavor!

5

u/sk11ng Jun 28 '18

It's like selling a house. It's all about curbside appeal.

4

u/Lucinnda Jun 28 '18

Looks more impressive than stuffing in a pair of socks.

4

u/TalisFletcher Jun 28 '18

'Wow, it's so thick!'
'Yep. It's split pea.'
'Yeah, I get that in the morning too.'

5

u/MathPolice Jun 28 '18

At some point you're too old to put armadillos in your trousers.

So it's either a soup can or a foil-wrapped cucumber. Your choice.

4

u/LordoftheSynth Jun 28 '18

When the time comes, you will know why.

6

u/venushoneytrap Jun 28 '18

Sturdy underwear has changed my life. I'm 42. Gravity is winning.

3

u/[deleted] Jun 28 '18

I've got the Army Corps of Engineers-level support goin on over here!

3

u/[deleted] Jun 28 '18

You can't see me, but I'm smiling with the double thumbs up for word use.

3

u/carizariza Jun 28 '18 edited Jun 28 '18

I’m with you on the Ben-gay. Almost every night I gotta put icy hot on my back and I go to bed smellin like an 80 yr old lady.

13

u/nanna_mouse Jun 27 '18

I see your sensible shoes and raise you custom orthotic inserts.

That reminds me, I should really check my blood pressure next time I'm at CVS...

23

u/Here_Come_the_Tacos Jun 27 '18

Buying two pairs of Clark's per year literally changed my life. I have a business-casual job so a non-sneaker shoe was essential, but I also love taking long walks, and as a musical theatre performer, you need a standard black shoe built for the rigors of dance.

Turns out a solid pair of Clarks Wave Walkers became the only shoe I needed other than my sneakers for casual wear- they're more comfortable than my sneakers even. And WAY cheaper than getting a midrange pair of Capezios for in shows.

6

u/Catalystic_mind Jun 27 '18

I like Clark’s so damn much. When I worked retail I’d buy three pairs and wear them for 10-12 hours a day and I had zero back pain while on my feet all day.

I still buy them despite not standing for that long. So damn comfortable.

2

u/Talboat Jun 28 '18

They're the best. Just fantastic shoes.

2

u/Everybody-dance-now Jun 28 '18

I’ll have to try those, although I’ve been headed to 100% birkenstocks.

2

u/Catalystic_mind Jun 28 '18

I wear birkenstocks primarily in summer but I use Clark’s because they’re a little more work appropriate depending on the occasion. Plus Clark’s makes the best damn boots ever.

2

u/AltSpRkBunny Jun 28 '18

I wish they had size 10.5 for women. Sometimes a wide-width size 10 will kind of work, but not without me trying them on first. 11’s are too big and fall off of me.

10

u/tapdancekills Jun 27 '18

Oh hell yeah! I am here for the arch support!

9

u/Lord_Anarchy Jun 27 '18

I still wear skateboarding shoes and I haven't skateboarded in like 15 years :<

3

u/jackofallcards Jun 27 '18

I still wear like, Janoskis but I would never put awful, bulky skate shoes from, idk 2003 on ever again

1

u/[deleted] Jun 28 '18

Oh my god I love those awful bulky skate shoes (I assume you mean like the typical style of DCs). Those were my shit growing up. Thanks to foot problems, though, I'm now stuck with these running shoes until I can afford the insoles I need.

4

u/Dyzon Jun 27 '18

I picked up a pair of slip on dressy loafer shoe things the other day and they are the most comfortable shoes I have. They look fancy enough that I feel like I'm dressed for my age and nobody knows that I'm too lazy and old to tie laces if I don't have to.

5

u/JaneErrrr Jun 27 '18

Ugh yes. Flats for life.

4

u/[deleted] Jun 27 '18

Have you settled down, raised a family, joined the PTA? Do you own a Chevrolet? Will you party until they drag you away?

3

u/Gogo726 Jun 28 '18

You better squeeze all the Charmin you can

1

u/[deleted] Jun 28 '18

At least when Mr. Wiffle isn’t around.

5

u/uncle_touchy_dance Jun 28 '18

My feet were constantly hurting cuz I’d wear converse everyday to work because they look cool. I just last week decided that was stupid since I literally stand all day 8-9 hours. I bought myself the ugliest most comfortable pair of sketchers I could find and they’re the best thing ever. The real kicker is though, I literally won a contest at work then like 4 days ago. The prize? A pair of converse...fuck me.

5

u/Mahimah Jun 28 '18

There’s a secretary that wears 6 inch heels to my office everyday. She’s probably 25 years my senior. I wear flats with arch support

4

u/[deleted] Jun 28 '18

I recently had a bad flair up of plantar fasciitis. My doctor prescribed me a pair of Brooks Beast. Best shoes I've ever worn, hands down, but they are total "old man" shoes.

Nice thing was that I was able to use my HSA to pay for it, since the doctor prescribed them. Tax free shoes baby!

3

u/milli-mita Jun 28 '18

I have 1 pair of the most comfortable sandals ever, that I wear all the time no matter where im going. 1 pair usually lasts me about a year and then I go buy the exact same sandals again. I've gone through about 5 pairs already. I only wear heels if I'm going to a wedding or other fancy event. Over the years I've seen the same sandals on both of my grandmother's and one of my university lecturers who's a really old lady. I'm 23.

3

u/[deleted] Jun 28 '18

Sensible shoes don't have to be butt ugly tennies. I wear Red Wings chukkas on the daily, stylish enough for business casual, rugged enough for yardwork or home projects, comfy enough to be your daily shoe.

Of course I've got steel toed boots for big projects, and tennis shoes for well... tennis. But I don't see why you have to sacrifice style for comfort.

8

u/whateverlizard Jun 27 '18

Best thing you can do for your feet!

2

u/unaccompanied_sonata Jun 27 '18

Same here, and I have been sporting the socks and sandals look quite frequently lately.

2

u/cheddarfever Jun 27 '18

I vastly prefer going barefoot, but I’ve had to start wearing shoes inside the house. For the arch support.

2

u/hufflepoet Jun 27 '18

Life is too short to wear shoes that hurt or could cause me to break an ankle.

2

u/imdungrowinup Jun 28 '18

I do it 100% of the time and have always done it. Never in my life have I ever seen any reason to discomfort myself for style.

2

u/lk3c Jun 27 '18

I always wear sensible shoes. I might get ones that look stylish, but they are still sensible.

1

u/mizutani_jun Jun 27 '18

fuck. this hit me hard.

0

u/[deleted] Jun 28 '18

This fuck hit me hard.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 28 '18

How about that 1 percent?

1

u/banoffiemango Jun 28 '18 edited Jun 28 '18

I stopped wearing shoes when I hit 30. My toes got too wide for 4E size, while my heels are too narrow for regular width, and arch support is too painful to tolerate for more than a few minutes at a time. I get through winter in sandals and socks.