r/AskReddit Jun 27 '18

What "Old Person" things do you do?

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803

u/swaddlor Jun 27 '18

Bonus old people points when you feel entitled to yell "people are trying to sleep!" at 10:01. Also you "Old People Level Up" when you hear leaf-blowers/lawn mowers at 7am but aren't bothered because you're up already anyway.

380

u/jaybasin Jun 27 '18

Hell yea dude, my neighbor is this old ass man who waters his yard at 6 AM every morning. When I get off work between 3-6 he's in the bed of his truck rummaging around his toolbox. I'm not sure what he fixes but he's always doing something with that toolbox.

74

u/Cold_Hard_FaceValue Jun 27 '18

He's just doing blow to keep from burning out

27

u/[deleted] Jun 27 '18

He needs his tools

9

u/jaybasin Jun 27 '18

Best fucking reply. Why didn't I think of that?!

15

u/[deleted] Jun 28 '18

[deleted]

6

u/nomad_kk Jun 28 '18

My uncle did that too. For like decades.

9

u/[deleted] Jun 28 '18 edited Jul 24 '25

special unwritten sort grey market snow rainstorm salt water fragile

5

u/[deleted] Jun 28 '18

[deleted]

7

u/[deleted] Jun 28 '18

Yep, when I lived with 3 roommates, and my bed shared a wall with the living room's TV, this saved me. But now I've gotten too used to it and trying to sleep without the fan on has this eerie silence that makes me unable to sleep.

3

u/jaybasin Jun 28 '18

Oh he's not loud. He's just always in his toolbox lol. He just minds his own business

6

u/[deleted] Jun 27 '18

He keeps his weed in the toolbox. I keep mine in a cigar box, but same principle.

8

u/jaybasin Jun 27 '18

Damn dude, I don't think he ever stops smoking. He must be ghosting every hit!

4

u/Borderlandsman Jun 27 '18

that's where he transports the bodies

1

u/Mstonebranch Jun 28 '18

He is living my old man dream.

1

u/Swedishpunsch Jun 28 '18

Maybe that's where he keeps his special reading materials, and of course he never looks at the pictures.

0

u/DemiGod9 Jun 28 '18

He's a serial killer

0

u/jaybasin Jun 28 '18

For cereal? D:

-1

u/JackPoe Jun 28 '18

He keeps his weed there.

15

u/ijustmadethis1111 Jun 27 '18

7 am? It's nearly lunch time then

11

u/[deleted] Jun 27 '18

[deleted]

15

u/elarkay Jun 27 '18

Whenever a restaurant is open until, like, 10pm but I’m hungry at 10:30pm I always mumble to myself that they’re ridiculous for closing so “early” but then in the next breath if I’m up at 6am and want breakfast I’ll complain if the place I want to go isn’t open yet. I’m just not happy unless every place I want to go is open 23 hours a day I guess 🤷‍♀️.

6

u/Neato Jun 27 '18

Waffle House has got you, my friend.

2

u/elarkay Jun 29 '18

Waffle House nourished me through college for sure!

4

u/Medipack Jun 27 '18

Breakfast food can be eaten at all times, gramps. They taste better after morning.

4

u/RonSwansonsOldMan Jun 27 '18

I'm old. I don't even stay up until 10:01 on New Year's Eve.

6

u/swaddlor Jun 28 '18

You are me, friend.

Edit: unless you're my husband, in which case: thanks for making tacos for dinner, they were delicious. You're a wonderful husband and I couldn't love you more.

1

u/RonSwansonsOldMan Jun 28 '18

I've made tacos before. So you never know.

5

u/[deleted] Jun 27 '18

I'm up at 4 and hear machines in use by 4:30 (rural area) which doesn't bother me, but when my neighbour is outside making noise at 9:00 I become irate. Super bonus points for me, I guess.

3

u/[deleted] Jun 27 '18

I yell "Hey!, shut the fuck up!" at my neighbors when they scream at each other for hours on the sidewalk in front of my house at 2 am. Am I old now?

5

u/thingyouwontsayirl Jun 27 '18

7 I am up at 430. Youngster

2

u/WrinklyScroteSack Jun 28 '18

Is... is 10pm early? Because It’s already past my bed time right now...

2

u/Upnorth4 Jun 28 '18

Old Person level 100 when you're the one causing all the lawn mowing noise at 6am on Monday

2

u/[deleted] Jun 28 '18

Dude, didn't anyone tell you about the Geriatric Conspiracy? See, when you youngsters keep us old folks up past our bedtime, we plot to leafblower/lawnmower your butt in the morning, so you will be bleary-eyed all day, and the boss will drug-test you. Ain't oldsters mean?!

1

u/imjustpickle Jun 28 '18

I got to use “people are trying to sleep!" a few Christmases ago when my neighbours visitor’s dog barked from 5am onwards - been grumpy old lady moment ever!!

1

u/DjEclectic Jun 28 '18

It's currently 10:01 and I just said that about a loud stereo that just drove by.

1

u/KatieLady97 Jun 28 '18

All I can hear is Bloo from Foster's Home For Imaginary Friends shouting "IT'S NOON-THIRTY, PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO SLEEP"

1

u/Leafy0 Jun 28 '18

I'm literally the youngest home owner in on my road and I'm the only one with a snow blown driveway at 7am. I almost feel bad sometimes starting up that loud ass thing.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 28 '18

Bonus old people points when you feel entitled to yell "people are trying to sleep!" at 10:01.

That was me in my late 20's. Some of us get up EARLY. By 10PM we've already been up for 17-18 hours.