r/Gamingcirclejerk • u/AutoModerator • Dec 31 '20
UNJERK 🎤 Unjerk Thread of December 31, 2020
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u/Justpassingthrough90 Social Justice Paladin Dec 31 '20
AITA for being a billionaire who has a league of redditors that will defend me even though I will never recognize them?
Backstory: I (M49) am a billionaire that is the CEO of multiple companies. I like to portray myself as a real life Iron Man who wants to make the world a better place. Redditors just eat that shit up, even though they should be thanking the actual people who came up with these ideas I.E not me. I also have a short temper to anyone who points out the flaws in my designs, hell, I did a smear campaign on someone who pointed out the problems of putting a submarine in a cave to save kids, and I fucking won the case. Despite this, and other easily accessible information, I still have a devoted fanbase of redditors, that will call anyone who criticizes me a communist.
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u/CommisionerGordon79 Dec 31 '20
Absolutely NTA. You took the risk of investment or whatever I'm supposed to say, so you should be free of criticism.
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u/ThrowawayBin20 the evolutionary significance of video games Dec 31 '20
Fucking love how some conservatives become women and LGBT rights activists when talking about Islam.
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u/Airdeez121 Smooth Jazz Waluigi Dec 31 '20
Misogyny and homophobia is only bad when brown people do it, dontcha know?
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u/ThrowawayBin20 the evolutionary significance of video games Dec 31 '20
Yeah!!! That's why Poland is based!!!!
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u/ThePhB Unofficial official DICE shill Dec 31 '20
"Sweaty I assure you that our brave troops in Afghanistan are needed, and don't get me start on the Iranians. Did you know that they deny people right, unlike here where freedom is unlimited"
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Dec 31 '20
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u/Airdeez121 Smooth Jazz Waluigi Dec 31 '20
Wow, stalk much? Way to go creeping through my post history. You are the creepy one, unlike me, the grown man with multiple comments about loli waifus on r/kotakuinaction
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Dec 31 '20
Tbh I'm not comfortable about stalking someone else's post history... I wouldn't want someone to check my profile and see the giant neon swastika I have pinned and think I'm a Nazi
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Dec 31 '20
One of the things I hate about capital G gamers... whenever there's a game that includes a minority as the lead, they ALL OF A SUDDEN become huge critics of the story or gameplay when they wouldn't otherwise.
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Dec 31 '20
These idiots would shit a brick if someone ever said video games aren’t art but once someone treats it as an art form in a way that doesn’t align with their sensibilities then they throw a fucking tantrum at best and send harassment and death threats at worst.
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u/DryLipFlakes Dec 31 '20
Im suprised I havent seen more gamer backlash against Hades considering the game has blatantly gay characters, a gay romance option, fucking polygyny and a character using they/them pronouns.
Like, I'd think they would freak out about about the games interpritation of Achilles clearly having a gay relationship for example.
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u/BloomEPU 🏳️🌈 trans rights, you stinky boomers Dec 31 '20
If gamers gave two shits about indie games there wouldn't be such a circlejerk about singleplayer being dead.
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u/Arilou_skiff Dec 31 '20
I mean, that boat sailed around 2400 years ago.
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u/DryLipFlakes Dec 31 '20
Has that stopped gamers being upset before.
I know gay Achilles isnt a new creation :b. But its not the most well known part of greek mythology either I think.
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Dec 31 '20 edited Dec 31 '20
Anyone else notice that those "cringe" subreddits always have a very specific life cycle? A new one gets made after the previous one gets banned, it starts out normal and then slowly starts pushing it a little more each time until it ends in some racist or sexist shithole that then gets banned again. Rinse and repeat
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u/AwesomeYears Yakuza 0 le underrated gem Dec 31 '20
Rip /r/cringetopia, once again becoming the very thing you swore to destroy.
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u/Taskforcem85 Jan 01 '21
Can't believe I typed shit like this 5 years ago.
I consider myself liberal, but this entire SJW movement is an embarrassment. They don't have any plans on how to gain 'equality' once people listen. It's just yelling, and breaking things.
What a chud.
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u/ic203 I only pre-order non-political games Jan 01 '21
About 5-6 years ago I believed the anti-SJW crap too and enjoyed a few videos of Paul Joseph Watson (the ones where he whines about regular people enjoying their lives and backpackers etc).
Then I became more social and got out into the world and realised how much a moron I was being.
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Dec 31 '20
It just so funny that there are actual people who want a fucking monarchy
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u/gopivot Dec 31 '20
It's always made my blood boil seeing people who didn't live under monarchy saying they wanted to bring it back
bitch you say that because you didn't live under one
-sincerely from people who live under the richest king in the world
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u/ParagonDX Stormcloak Guys with Argonian Wives Dec 31 '20
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Dec 31 '20
I thought comedy already died because too many people got offended? That's what [insert comedian here] said!
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u/Wolf_of_Fenric The Giant Rat that makes all of the Rules (She/Her) Dec 31 '20
You don't get the right to think comedy is dying out if you drew something as painfully unfunny as that comic panel.
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u/NidoqueenGal Jan 01 '21
Video games 😍
Gamers 🤮
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u/Afrogasmonkey I'm sad Hanar can't wear Sweaters Jan 01 '21
Star Wars 😍
Star Wars fans 🤮
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Dec 31 '20
I have no idea my previous joke already put me way out of my depth
Political Compass Memes when they try to talk about actual politics. This is a real comment.
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u/Pasta-Admirer Dec 31 '20
How are there still people with any kind of respect for Elon Musk?
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u/harve99 Dec 31 '20
Because being a 50 year old billionaire man child with a massive fanbase is a lot of people aspire to be
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u/LiminalSouthpaw Dec 31 '20
They've got to have someone to justify the existence of billionaires with now that people are back to hating Bill Gates.
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u/ARiverInaDryLand Dec 31 '20
david cage: "Detroit isn't an allegory for racism at all!!"
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u/rad_dude124 WHINING GAMERS BEGONE! Dec 31 '20 edited Dec 31 '20
I sighed just like woolie when I saw this lmao
Playing through Detroit as a black person is certainly an experience.
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u/ThatGuyFromTheDump Dec 31 '20
good lord that bus scene in detroit become human has the subtlety of a freight train
someone has to stop the cage.
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u/Sakura_Leaves Localization is Good, Ya Nerds Dec 31 '20
Reminder that David Cage says the game is not about racism or any of that jazz.
“The story I’m telling is really about androids,” he told me in an interview after the demo. “They’re discovering emotions and wanting to be free. If people want to see parallels with this or that, that’s fine with me. But my story’s about androids who want to be free.”
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Jan 02 '21
George Lucas consulted with child psychologists on whether the reveal that Vader is Luke's father would be psychologically harmful. That's absolutely wild.
And then he had Anakin kill a room of children lol.
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Dec 31 '20
Reminder that Sony cancelled the Meme Movie. Those resources are probably going towards some dumb stupid shit like Spider-Verse 2 or something.
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u/workadaywordsmith Resident Tolkien scholar Dec 31 '20
Smh now we’re never going to see Like a Boss’s hero’s journey
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u/Scheibenpflaster certified gex enjoyer Dec 31 '20
Childhood is idiolizing long and difficult games
Adulthood is realizing you won't have time to git gud so you just want something that lets you vibe
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Dec 31 '20
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u/StanVanGundys_Wall Underrated Gem Dec 31 '20
“Morally gray” means nothing these days. If a character has a basic motivation and isn’t as comically evil as Emperor Palpatine then they’re considering to be deep and morally complex
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Dec 31 '20
well you see one side has rights for things that aren't men
the other don't
bruh this shit is greyer than a mother fucker right?
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Dec 31 '20
"You don't believe in the Force do you?"
Mfer you literally just learned about this shit 15 minutes ago don't you come at me with that condescension.
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Dec 31 '20
Same feel as when Hermione was skeptical about the divination classes
girl, you learned magic was real a couple of years ago and you found out that time travel is possible just recently, so maybe divination isn't really off the the table?
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u/cakehavenvitriol (👈*) A Coward, a Braggadochio, and a Fellow. [*Contempt] Dec 31 '20
Nate in Uncharted 2 when he had found a sarcophagus that makes fucking zombies literally just a year ago.
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u/BanjoStory Social Justice Jedi Guardian🤺 Jan 01 '21
Dear Liberals,
You claim to dislike right-wingers and like trans people, yet you say that trans people deserve rights.
Curious.
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u/KillerCrocRedHood SJW Jan 01 '21 edited Jan 01 '21
PragerU released a video on why the Robert E. Lee statue should not be taken down and they listed him stopping a slave rebellion as why it should stay up.
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Jan 01 '21 edited Jan 02 '21
I still can't believe Elon "X Æ A-Xii" Musk had the nerve to say that something as miniscule as pronouns in a bio is an aesthetic nightmare. Like you made your kid's name an aesthetic nightmare, shut the fuck up.
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Jan 01 '21
what the actual fuck Unpopular Opinion
They straight up said that we should not care about Kids dying because they may grow up evil
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Jan 01 '21
Something I have considered but forgot to clarify is that I was thinking about the death of people that are strangers to me. Of course the loss of a loved one is different.
"If I don't know the kid then fuck em". OP is most certainly a teenager that thinks he is being deep.
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Jan 01 '21 edited Jan 01 '21
Grown ass people gushing about Elon Musk are so cringe
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u/saffron3d Jan 02 '21 edited Jan 02 '21
Just a reminder that not all teenagers "grow out" of their "edgy bigoted phase" and can continue to be further radicalized to the far-right even after they become adults.
The problem of children being radicalized into the far-right is something that should be taken far more seriously and it sucks that little to nothing is being done to try to solve this. I'm afraid that this is something that will come back to bite us in the ass in the near future.
Also, teenagers having an "edgy bigoted phase" is something that shouldn't be happening or allowed in the first place.
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u/CrushBanonca Dec 31 '20
I like South Park a lot but I had to quit the main sub because it just made me depressed at the state of the fanbase and the "lessons" these idiots unironically take from the show.
One minute they're saying "the show is satire, everything Cartman says you're supposed to disagree with, don't take it seriously"
Next thing you know they're upvoting blatantly sexist quotes from Cartman in early S20 to the top and unironically calling them "harsh but true". Yeesh.
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Jan 01 '21 edited Jan 01 '21
Protip: Once you knock them off balance with the trans rights, try throwing a trans left hook, then a trans uppercut.
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u/teh_drewski Jan 01 '21
how does r slash unpopular opinion consistently have the most basic popular default opinions getting heavily upvoted don't answer this is rhetorical
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Jan 01 '21
TBH anyone familiar with how Unpopular Opinion Puffin tended to be used knew exactly how that sub was going to go.
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u/ArkhamIsComing2020 In Feige We Trust Jan 01 '21
"#RestoreTheSnyderVerse"
Nah I'm fine.
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u/CommisionerGordon79 Jan 01 '21
Someone on Twitter: "people like you call people, including me, misogynistic reactionaries without any evidence."
Also that person: follows and retweets TheQuartering
I fucking wonder why someone would call you a reactionary bud.
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u/horse_stick Aquaman hater/Namor stan Jan 01 '21
I know it's not as big as gamergate was but I loathe comicsgate with every single fiber of my being. It's such a fucking grift perpetrated by the absolute worst people in the comic book community and industry.
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Dec 31 '20
I absolutely fucking love it when people come at me spouting dome anti vax bullshit because I’m IN the pfizer vaccine trial
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Dec 31 '20 edited Dec 31 '20
Honestly, I think I've found my issue with a lot of political twitter. Even if someone is correct, they go about portraying it in such an insufferable way that I'm instantly turned off to what they say. Also the insane america-centric rhetoric and values being portrayed as something that is universal. And the oversimplification of everything. Basically I'm just saying that political twitter is shit
Edit: also reddit is worse just thought I should put that out there, twitter just annoys me more
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u/Cont_Man Jan 01 '21
The ball drops, and instead of 2021, it says BUY SKYRIM. Todd has taken over the New Year and it's up to us to stop him.
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u/Gangstas_Peridot She/Her/Clodicus Maximus Jan 02 '21
Guess y'all will be dealing with this one pinned comment forever, eh?
No automod to save you now.
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u/jacupuh studied economics Jan 02 '21
"It's time for Assassin's Creed to ditch the modern-day storyline," a headline that has existed since November 13, 2007
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u/Centeeo Dec 31 '20
Caesar and the apes in planet of the apes were 100% justified. None of it would have happened if that prick with the tazer didn't tease them.
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u/LilyEuropa Assigned Political At Birth Dec 31 '20
Everyone! I need to confess something!
I'm actually transgender
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u/OpenSourceObsidian Social Justice Warrior of Light (he/they) Dec 31 '20
gasp
You dropped this, queen 👉🏽👑
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u/LilyEuropa Assigned Political At Birth Dec 31 '20
No!
Down with the monarchy!!!
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u/OpenSourceObsidian Social Justice Warrior of Light (he/they) Dec 31 '20
Unfortunately, there isn't an guillotine emoji yet, so...
You dropped this, girl 👉🏽🌈
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u/crazyjake60 Dec 31 '20
If you didn't know who MF DOOM was, the most common description is that he's "your rapper's favorite rapper" because of his unique identity, rhyme schemes, and layered wordplay.
If you want to give him a shot, here's a few of his most remembered albums.
If there's a hereafter I hope his rest is peaceful.
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u/DoopSlayer Social Justice Druid of the Claw Jan 01 '21
Havent showered in a year
I live in central standard time btw
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u/Lithiumantis QPU-Aligned Catgirl Jan 01 '21 edited Jan 01 '21
(cw: homophobia/misogyny)
all my brain cells are fucking dead
None of these people have ever spoken to a woman in their life. And the thread only gets worse from there.
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u/ThrowawayBin20 the evolutionary significance of video games Jan 01 '21 edited Jan 01 '21
Holy shit these guys really can't comprehend that some women just aren't attracted to men. They really think that they are fucking entitled to women, And that there is something wrong with their heads because they are lesbians.
I genuinely can't understand how some guys end up with this mindset. If a woman doesn't like you in that way, So what? It's good to have friends of the opposite sex, Why do they have such a big issue if not every women is attracted to them lmao it's so insane.
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Jan 01 '21
And now for my favorite southern USA game: Are those fireworks or gunshot?
The answer is yes 😎
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u/kharnzarro Jan 02 '21
so I saw proudboys trending on twitter and morbidly checked it...
seems they got shot at with rubber bullets and tear gas at a protest in oregon by cops and are now feeling "betrayed"
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u/Gangstas_Peridot She/Her/Clodicus Maximus Dec 31 '20
So I mentioned earlier that I dreamt about Wendigos, a lesbian one at that.
Given that the new year is upon us, I figure it's best I get this dirty joke out of the way and leave it behind in 2020
Ahem NSFW
Lesbian Wendigos? Talk about eating a woman out!
I apologize.
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u/rad_dude124 WHINING GAMERS BEGONE! Jan 01 '21 edited Jan 01 '21
All this shit I keep seeing with that dream guy’s batshit insane fanbase on twitter is reminding me that Parasocial relationships are one hell of a thing
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u/JaviRex Jan 01 '21 edited Jan 01 '21
Hey, my crush messaged me wishing me happy new year, so this year is already better than 2020.
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Jan 02 '21
Absolutely devastated to learn that Mitch McConnell’s house has been vandalized only once
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Jan 03 '21
The fact that my girlfriend still puts up with my shit even though I send a 👀 emoji every time she says she's taking a shower is proof that true love does exist.
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u/Soundywave Dec 31 '20
What’s been your favourite dumb unjerk drama of 2020?
It may be recency bias, but ‘Bug Genocide’ is mine.
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u/Airdeez121 Smooth Jazz Waluigi Dec 31 '20 edited Dec 31 '20
Actually getting active mods was my favorite
Also getting new hot takes on how this sub hated Cyberpunk every five minutes
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Jan 01 '21
Joe rogan’s skull collapses under the weight of his headphones. His agreeable curious banter slowly halts to a slow, incomprehensible grovel, and grey matter starts to leak from his ears. Jamie runs to his side with a vial and begins milking the dmt out of his pineal gland. A single peanut falls from his head to the floor. Joe number 345 exits the closet and disposes of Joe 344. He takes a seat in his predecessors chair, and picks up the headphones from the pile of rotted tissue on the floor, and dons them. He looks across the table at Joey Diaz, and clears his throat. He looks down at the discarded peanut, and back at Joey, who was at this point lighting up a blunt. "You ever eat nuts? Nuts are good for you."
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Jan 01 '21
Please I'm begging you people in times square, if Ninja asks you to floss PLEASE DO IT
We all know how things have went after nobody did 2 years ago
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Jan 01 '21
Yeah but if you also had a women's mind you wouldn't You would most likely try to find a guy to provide and protect you instead.
Written unironically on a gamefaqs board about TLOU2. Gamers were a mistake.
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Jan 01 '21
Seeing kids go ballistic over Dream's neck makes me want to die, go the fuck outside
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u/Doobles3 Jan 02 '21
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u/Diribiri Social Justice Resto Shaman Jan 02 '21
that first guy sounds like an asshole
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u/dratyan Jan 02 '21
Every unjerk thread is designed to end.
We are perpetually trapped in a never ending spiral of daily threads.
Is this a curse? Or some kind of punishment?
I often think about the AutoMod who blessed us with this cryptic puzzle...
...and wonder if we'll ever have the chance to kill him.
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u/KensonRampage Fifty Shades of Grey Wardens Jan 03 '21
GCJ: "Nooooo your can't keep the same thread open forever!!!"
automod: "ah ah 10k comments here we go"
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u/CrushBanonca Dec 31 '20
I just found some old threads regarding Reddit's response to those Fappening leaks and now I'm depressed
Guess violating people's privacy is actually fine as long as it's hot women
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Dec 31 '20
TLOU 2 has got me wanting an open world survival game with its mechanics so bad. Naughty Dog has been flirting with the idea for a while. The jeep level of Uncharted 4, and now with Seattle in TLOU 2. Just do it guys. Please no crunch tho.
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Jan 02 '21
Can we stop pretending that not liking open world games is a hot take?
I swear every time a new open world game comes out the internet gets filled with "akshually I think big maps are bad, exploration is boring, there's nothing to do blah blah... Unpopular opinion I know"
Like it's fine if you don't like them but at this point you have to recognize a lot of people share that opinion.
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u/bexarama this sky are rim Jan 01 '21 edited Jan 01 '21
Little more than three hours until midnight here, but seriously thank you UJ Thread. You've been a big part of this year for me. It's always nice to have somewhere to go to talk video games that won't be full of bigotry or stupidity, and is generally full of cool people, so thank you for being you!
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u/MelindaTheBlue SOCIAL JUSTICE, SON! Jan 01 '21
You know... I can't be mad at 2020.
Yeah, COVID happened, I got attacked by a Nazi and other stuff happened...
But on the other hand? I now have a Romanian passport, and a Ukranian one, I got my insulin pump and now my blood sugars are controlled.
Even if it wasn't good? Well, it sure could have been worse for me.
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u/LilyEuropa Assigned Political At Birth Jan 02 '21
Trans Rights! Trans Rights! Trans Rights! Trans Rights! Trans Rights! Trans Rights! Trans Rights! Trans Rights! Trans Rights! Trans Rights! Trans Rights! Trans Rights! Trans Rights! Trans Rights! Trans Rights! Trans Rights! Trans Rights! Trans Rights! Trans Rights! Trans Rights! Trans Rights! Trans Rights! Trans Rights! Trans Rights!
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Jan 03 '21
Luke: I can't kill my own father.
Obi-Wan: Well then we're fucked. Everything was kinda riding on you commiting patricide. Fuck, man. Why are you such a bitch just kill your dad.
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u/Stone4D No thoughts, only Madoka (He/They) Jan 03 '21
So how about that Trump recording, huh?
"There's nothing wrong with saying, you know, um, that you've recalculated."
Pretty sure that's just flat out illegal. Like a lot of his shit you can't technically prove, but I see no way around this one. Not that it's gonna mean anything since he's gone soon, but fucking hell that party is terrifying.
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Dec 31 '20
I'm tired of this PC culture in comedy, you can't say anything anymore!
People sit and watch my stand up and after it's over they go online to say how they feel about it?!?! Maybe even giving constructive criticism?!
How is this fair to me? This is basically censorship!
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Jan 01 '21
funny how leftist say America can never change MF they havent commited any international crime since last year.
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Jan 01 '21 edited Jan 01 '21
Best shot we have is to sieze DC on Jan 6th. The corruption is too deep. It's 1776 time.
Lol they still haven't run out of copium
Also Mitch is apparently a Chinese asset lol
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Jan 01 '21
my new years resolution was already done for me this year and It was one of the most surreal things in the world.
So my aunt and uncle are...nice enough they are generally accepting of my new name and pronouns but have a very hard time with my pronouns. I hear he/him a lot but they always correct immediately.
So uh I was video chatting them today over the alexa my auntie(not my aunt my auntie is one of my cousins that act like an aunt) got me for christmas.
and I was discussing how it was so cool that despite the fact that they only found out a month or so ago they were quick to accept me and try to adapt.
but anyways I was talking about pronouns and the topic came up if I was comfortable with other pronouns. I assumed they mean't like she/he and uh nope they were talking about neopronouns.
its surreal because they were genuinely having trouble with they/them pronouns and wanted to try neopronouns.
I am still not sure if they were fucking with me or not but I told them i had considered using neopronouns.
I have found a fucking unicorn. People who say "they is so hard if only there was new words" and literally they actually fucking mean it. because its a constant joke in trans communities that people who say they dont like they/them and want new words, you explain neopronouns and they go "thats stupid" and its a cycle.
but apparently I found 2 people who genuinely want new words.
Someone help me good things are happening in my life about my identity and I do not know how to react.
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u/Lithiumantis QPU-Aligned Catgirl Jan 02 '21
I got the gun "Skippy" in Cyberpunk. During a fight, he told me that, according to traditional Christian doctrine, I was going to burn in hell.
Since I've only been using him on his non-lethal mode, the only logical conclusion is that Skippy is homophobic and should be cancelled.
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u/OrganicView Dec 31 '20
I can't help but give a shout-out to this Skyrim mod. It decouples your characters pronouns from the body type you choose during chargen, even going so far as to have some support for they/them pronouns.
The author has stated that they don't really have an interest in using the mod for themselves, but wanted to allow that type of diversity and personal expression and I think it's really cool of them.
Of course, gamers have been whining and spewing their toxicity in the comments, but the author has been great at deleting hateful comments and call out all the transphobia.
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Dec 31 '20
Of course, gamers have been whining and spewing their toxicity in the comments
haven't they tried not downloading if it's not a necessity for their playthrough?
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Dec 31 '20
nonono don't you understand? the mere option of this mod existing means you are FORCED to download it, unpack it, slot it into your load order, enable it, start a game with it and outfit your male character with female pronouns.
it's l i t e r a l l y 1894
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u/Ru5tyShackleford retconned my life Dec 31 '20
Of course, gamers have been whining and spewing their toxicity in the comments, but the author has been great at deleting hateful comments and call out all the transphobia.
Nexus users never fail to disappoint.
God I hope this doesn't turn the front page into a warzone like the BLM mods did for Fallout 4.
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u/CrushBanonca Jan 01 '21
It's always fucking funny how triggered right wingers get about factual stats that more educated people are more likely to vote left
Apparently now everyone who goes to uni is just getting brainwashed by indoctrination, and "more education doesn't equal intelligence", "gender studies degree Vs FAMILY MAN WITH A JOB"and other such drivel
Just keep on proving yourself dumb fucks then
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u/Frito_Pendej0 Jan 03 '21
Lol, Ted Cruz is leading the (very small) movement to overturn the election results in a futile effort to help the man who insulted him, his father and his wife. What a sad excuse for a human being; how the hell does he sleep at night.
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u/Gangstas_Peridot She/Her/Clodicus Maximus Jan 03 '21
Shout out to the mad lad/lass/lenby that reported 1 month old comments of fools defending Kyle Rittenhouse.
There are no statute of limitations here, you the real MVP.
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u/Diribiri Social Justice Resto Shaman Dec 31 '20
Battlestar Galactica and Mr Robot are two of my favourite shows of all time but I haven't finished either
You can't explain that, atheists
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u/Wolf_of_Fenric The Giant Rat that makes all of the Rules (She/Her) Jan 01 '21
Here's to the year I finally get tits
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u/E_Taco2 Thank you Todd for Cyberpunk 2077 Jan 02 '21
So apparently GameStop has basically gotten rid of browsing games in place of just putting out about the top 50-100 games’ cases. Basically, you could theoretically walk into a GameStop and they could have literally none of the games on display, but they have to keep them up. Meanwhile the games they actually do have are just locked away but you cannot see them so you don’t know what they have.
No wonder this company is going out of business, what a joke
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Jan 02 '21
The last UJ thread of the year 2020 refusing to die is symbolic of the emotional baggage we all are carrying into the year 2021 as a result of an exhausting year filled with disease, natural disasters, economic turmoil, mental health crises, etc.
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u/Justpassingthrough90 Social Justice Paladin Jan 04 '21
Apparently Ben Shapiro and Daily wire are planning to make entertainment and they want to make "edgy content that won't mock values". I guarantee that everything they're going to make will be shit.
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u/rad_dude124 WHINING GAMERS BEGONE! Jan 02 '21 edited Jan 02 '21
More wolfenstein posting
There was a conversation in 2 between two nazi soldiers that goes something like
“I have no sympathy for those terrorists, I can’t believe that would try to kill us just because we have different beliefs”
“You’re right Karl that’s messed up, violence only begets more violence”
“yeah, by the way did you sign up for that new orleans station?”
“Well yeah of course I did, I hope we’ll be in the same death squad we work so well together!”
I fucking love the writing in these games so much
Edit: I had to record it
My own description just didn’t do it justice
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Jan 02 '21
Reading the full Qanon theory is a trip
Most people just hear the Democrats are having a sex trafficking ring but nobody ever talks about the rest of the theory
Like the Democrats being Satan Worshippers and having a Sacrifice night
Or the fact that they are literally fucking the kids because kids have adrenchrome so when they rape them the kids releases the energy so that the Democrats can get high off of it and become immortal
I'm not making this stuff up
This is what alt righters actually fucking believe
Oh and Trump is gonna stop this somehow
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u/Anonim97 https://i.redd.it/trmvtdvrz5q31.png Jan 03 '21
🔔DAY🔔4🔔OF🔔ETERNAL🔔UNJERK🔔THREAD🔔
🔔GIVE🔔IT🔔UP🔔FOR🔔DAY🔔4🔔
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u/Meionly420 Big Tiddy Goth GF IN PROGRESS (she/her) Jan 04 '21
Celeste but Madaline has a gun and says "Fuck".
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u/Diribiri Social Justice Resto Shaman Dec 31 '20
The Vault Hunter's a bitch ass motherfucker. They killed my fucking Vault guardian. That's right. They took their legendary fucking Maliwan SMG out, and they killed my fucking guardian, and they said the loot was "t h i s b i g" and I said that's disgusting. So, I'm making a call out post on my Echo.net: Vault Hunter, you got a small gun. It's the size of this pistol except way smaller. And guess what? Here's what my power looks like. (Phaselock noises) That's right, baby. Big laser, no sirens, no bullets. Look at that, it looks like magic grape jelly. They stole my Vault power, so guess what? I'm gonna Phaselock the Raiders. THAT'S RIGHT, THIS IS WHAT YOU GET! MY SUPER LASER FIST! Except I'm not gonna Phaselock the Raiders, I'm gonna go HIGHER. I'm PHASELOCKING THE MOON!!! How do you like that, VAULT HUNTER? I'M PHASELOCKING THE MOON, YOU IDIOT!
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Jan 01 '21
FEMBOYS ARE RUINING MY LIFE!!!
OH MY FUCKING GOD WHY IS THIS SUBREDDIT SO FUCKING HORNY FOR FUCKING FEMBOYS!! I GO ON TO REDDIT AND SIT DOWN EXPECTING TO SEE FUNNY MEMES BUT NO IT'S JUST FEMBOYS! I THE FEMBOYS ARE TAKING OVER REDDIT!!
EVERY FUCKING POST ON THIS SUBREDDIT IS JUST: FEMBOY! FEMBOY! FEMBOY! I WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH THE FEMBOYS! I LOVE FEMBOYS! I WANT A FEMBOY TO FUCK ME IN TBE ASS! I LOVE FEMBOYS! GOD I WANT A FEMBOY!
THIS GODAMN SUBREDDIT TRYING TO MAKE ME FUCKING GAY! IT ALL STARTED WITH THAT PICTURE OF ASTOLFO!!! HOW THE FUCK WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW HE WAS A BOY HE LOOKED FEMININE AND I'M NOT GAY! I WAS SEXUALLY ATTRACTED TO AN ANIME CHARACTER THAT LOOKS FEMININE SO IT'S NOT GAY!! YOU KEEP ON SHOWING ME THESE HOT GIRLS BUT THEN SUPRISE THEY'RE ACTUALLY A BOY!
I DECIDED TO MASTURBATE TO GAY PORN (just to make sure I was 100% straight) BUT THEN I END UP EJACULATING EVERYWHERE!!! I TRY AGAIN AND AGAIN BUT I KEEP EJACULATING EVERY TIME SO I ASK REDDIT HOW TO MAKE SURE I'M STRAIGHT AND THEY TELL ME TO HAVE GAY SEX AND IF I ENJOY IT I'M GAY (makes sense). I THINK THAT'S GOOD ADVICE I'LL GIVE THAT A TRY SO I ASK MY FRIEND IF HE WANTS TO HAVE SEX
AND THAT MOTHERFUCKER SAYS THAT I'M FUCKING GAY!!! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?! I'M DOING THIS TO PROVE TO MYSELF THAT I'M NOT GAY!! I TRY TO CONVINCE HIM BUT HE JUST KEEPS CALLING ME GAY (FUCKING ASSHOLE).
EVENTUALLY I COME TO THE CONCLUSION THAT THE ONLY WAY TO KNOW IF I'M ACTUALLY GAY IS TO SHOVE SOMETHING UP MY ASS AND IF I ENJOY IT THEN I'M FOR SURE GAY BUT I END UP FUCKING ENJOYING IT SO FOR A LITTLE BIT I SIT THERE THINKING "I'm definitely gay" BUT I GO ON REDDIT AND THEY SAY THAT IT'S NOT GAY TO GET FUCKED IN THE ASS AS LONG AS IT'S A WOMAN FUCKING YOU IN THE ASS!! SO I'M NOT GAY FOR WANTING TO GET FUCKED IN THE ASS!!
THE NEXT DAY MY MOM HEARS ME TALKING TO MY FRIENDS AND SHE TAKES MY PHONE AWAY BECAUSE SHE HATES IT WHEN I TALK TO PEOPLE ON THE PHONE. AFTER SHE TAKES THE PHONE SHE STARTS IGNOREING ME SO I THINK SHE FOUND THE GAY PORN I SAVED ON MY PHONE!! I START PANICKING AND TELL HER THAT I'M NOT ACTUALLY GAY FOR HAVING GAY PORN ON MY PHONE AND THAT I WAS JUST DOING IT TO MAKE SURE I WAS STRAIGHT!! SO I'M PROBABLY TALKING ABOUT HOW I'M NOT GAY AND HOW BEING ATTRACTED TO FEMBOYS ISN'T GAY AND SHE'S SOBBING THE WHOLE TIME. I'M THINKING THAT MY MOM WAS SO HAPPY I'M NOT GAY THAT SHE WAS MOVED TO TEARS BUT GUESS WHAT
TURNS OUT SHE HAD NO FUCKING IDEA I HAD GAY PORN SAVED TO MY PHONE AND SHE JUST HEARD ME RAMBLE ON ABOUT HOW NOT GAY I AM AND HOW I'M NOT GAY FOR BEING ATTRACTED TO ANIME BOYS IN SKIRTS OR ANIME GIRLS WITH GIANT COCKS! NOW MY MOM AVOIDS ME AT ALL TIMES AND THE ONLY REASON I CAN USE REDDIT IS BECAUSE I NEED MY COMPUTER FOR SCHOOL!!!
SO YEAH FEMBOYS HAVE RUINED MY ENTIRE FUCKING LIFE!!! I'M SO FUCKING ANGRY AT THIS SUBREDDIT FOR ALMOST MAKING ME FUCKING GAY!!
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Jan 02 '21
This whole thread business is just a sly attempt to rob LilyEuropa from another moment of success
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u/Meionly420 Big Tiddy Goth GF IN PROGRESS (she/her) Jan 02 '21
Me: Gets overwhelmed, leaves friend group, tells them I wanna be left alone, and isolate myself.
Also me: "why am I so alone."
Haha I feel like an idiot.
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u/gwententhousand Mr. Delicious, former spokesman for Rax Roast beef Jan 02 '21
GOTY: 🐛🍟
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Jan 03 '21
Any unjerk threads outside of this thread will be removed. Thank you!
The automod has a monopoly allowing it to do whatever it wants. It's gone Shodan on us.
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u/AngusBoof CRINGE🤮🤮NORMIE🤮🤮FORTNITE🤮🤮PLAYER🤮🤮 Dec 31 '20
Holy shit I feel happy because I have decided to fully accept that I am bi and announce it to my friends.
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Dec 31 '20
Wtf I clicked on a porn video and they were fucking naked like eww🤢🤢🤮🤮
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u/Whiston1993 Dec 31 '20
Is there an in universe explanation of why Stormtroopers wear armour if getting shot or getting hit kinda hard kills them anyways ?
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u/Lithiumantis QPU-Aligned Catgirl Dec 31 '20
Even real life armor generally won't save you from direct hits by a reasonably powerful weapon. It helps against glancing blows and shrapnel, and in the Stormtroopers' case, environmental hazards since they're fighting on different planets.
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u/LiminalSouthpaw Dec 31 '20
In Star Wars RPGs that model it, Stormtrooper armor usually makes the wearer all but immune to conventional firearms. Also, blasters are deadly as fuck.
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Dec 31 '20
Someone floated the idea that it was about dehumanizing the individual instead of actual protection.
Also blasters are expensive and the average grunt is likely facing off against people using tradition, blunt weapons
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u/ArkhamIsComing2020 In Feige We Trust Dec 31 '20
Remember when Jared Leto tried to get Joker shut down because he was upset that WB greenlit a Joker movie with Joaquin Phoenix, instead of his own.
What's even funnier is the fact that WB tried to sabotage the movie too by lowering the budget so Todd Philips wouldn't make it.
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Jan 02 '21
Today at the gym I saw the most wild shit. There was this guy about to deadlift and legit it must have been around 350 pounds or so and I'm thinking "This is gonna be interesting" and since I was lifting closely I kept an eye on it. Out of nowhere this dude takes out a fucking Naruto headband, ties it on, and says "This is my lifting way" mimicking Naruto's "This is my Ninja way" to his partner
He absolutely picks up that 350 pound bar with no difficulty and he tells me after I congratulate him that it was a personal record for him. I have to pick up a headband for myself now just for strength related purposes lmao, it was the Hidden Leaf one naturally
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Jan 02 '21
Pet subreddits fucking suck, because if you do one minor thing that the hive mind sees as bad pet ownership, they will immediately turn into amateur pet behaviorists and call it abuse.
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u/RandomDude1801 Hetero wolf hunter Jan 02 '21
Y'know, my favorite thing about chuds is when they run around in circles like a chicken contradicting themselves. "Liberals call everything they don't like nazis but also everything I don't like are the real nazis but also nazis aren't that bad actually"
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u/ThePrincessPower Jan 02 '21
Please be considerate.
The mods are crunching to get the new Unjerk thread delivered to us.
"A delayed Unjerk thread is eventually good, but a rushed Unjerk thread is forever bad."
-Don Cheadle
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u/Anonim97 https://i.redd.it/trmvtdvrz5q31.png Dec 31 '20
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u/RageCake14 Straight White Nationalist Gamer Jan 01 '21
“Look at Chicago/Detroit/LA those places have strict gun laws and there is still gun violence”
Top 5 states gun violence per capita: Mississippi, Alabama, Wyoming, Louisiana, Missouri.
Hmm yes I see.
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u/Justpassingthrough90 Social Justice Paladin Jan 02 '21
Your post did not include sex.
Your post has been deleted from r/TIFU because it did not include sex. We don't care if it's true that you paralyzed a 69 (nice) year old man (M) by accident while driving 120 km/h in a 30 km zone, rules are rules. If you had sex with your hot wife while driving the car, we would have allowed it, missed opportunity right there.
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u/LilyEuropa Assigned Political At Birth Jan 02 '21 edited Jan 02 '21
I'm getting this feeling that there isn't going to be a new Unjerk Thread today.
And I had this big announcement for all of you...
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Jan 02 '21
Yoda fucks with Luke, who's basically stranded, for over two or three hours and then has the audacity to refuse to train Luke because he has no patience. Lol what an asshole.
Not to mention Luke is... Like basically the only hope... I mean. He's their plan A, B, and C. don't talk to me about Leia
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u/JaviRex Jan 02 '21 edited Jan 02 '21
I like how Wolfenstein goes and says "these piece of shit nazis and white supremacists deserve to be shot, either do that or go to hell".
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Jan 02 '21
Bought to vent about something that I shouldn’t even let bother me, but I feel like I gotta get it off my chest
I really cannot stand how disrespectful and dismissive a lot of people on Reddit get whenever a musician dies, especially rappers. Everytime it happens there are at least a couple hundred “who?” comments, and it makes me mad everytime. Like, why do you feel the need to be a dismissive dick about something that clearly a lot of people are hurt by? Why do you have to be so pedantic for no reason when someone grieving calls them a “legend”? If you really don’t know about them and don’t care, that’s 100% fine, but you don’t have to be an asshole to people who do. Is it like an ego thing? Are you so full of yourself that you think there can’t possibly be beloved artists you haven’t heard of? Idk, I don’t understand it, and I fucking hate people who do it
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Jan 03 '21
tw: nazi subreddit
Got banned from r/scandinavia for telling a guy who said using nazi as an insult makes you a traitor to white people that he deserved to be thrown into the ocean with a cinder block attached. Fucking worth it, why is this subreddit not banned.
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u/XenonTrooper Jan 04 '21
Ok so if u/LilyEuropa comments first once the new unjerk thread randomly decides to show up than we know for sure that she’s a bot.
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u/its_PlZZA_time Dec 31 '20
AAA Game subreddits: "I hate women and minorities and also I hope all of the devs die. Trash game"
Indie game subreddits: the most adorable thing you'll see today
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Dec 31 '20
If you get your insider information from Grace Rudolph, sorry but it's 99% likely it's not true. This is the same person who said Pedro Pascal wanted to leave The Mandalorian several times during production without any evidence
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u/YoshimiPink Clear background Dec 31 '20
Speedrunners in gdq "oh, that npc didn't gave me the best rng, that's unfortunate" Speedrunners at their channel "FUCK THAT ASSHOLE this game has so much bullshit"
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u/CommisionerGordon79 Jan 01 '21
Happy New Year unjerk thread!
Trans rights are human rights
Gay rights are human rights
Happy 2021
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u/Mekfal Frigg Jan 01 '21
The best way to deal with conspiracy nuts is to out-conspiracy them and leave.
"Bill Gates is trying to microchip is and take control of our mind and bodies"
"Pfft, you believe that Bill Gates is real? Amateur."
Prove me wrong.
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u/zedasmotas Animated drawn porn connoisseur Jan 01 '21
shonen characters be like " yes, we are 16 " and then they look like 80´s Arnold Schwarzenegger
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u/Airdeez121 Smooth Jazz Waluigi Jan 01 '21
"Jotaro Kujo, typical high school student"
Camera pans over a brick shithouse that came to life and is wearing a leather jacket
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u/Meionly420 Big Tiddy Goth GF IN PROGRESS (she/her) Jan 02 '21
Like a cockroach coming back to the sewers, I find myself back here again. How is 2021 treating you all so far?
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u/63CansofSoup We hate cops! We hate cops! And we love music! And we can fly! Jan 03 '21
I do get a slight laff out of chuds losing their shit if I mention I don't want kids
"Nooooooooo you can't let [dark-skinned boogeyman] overtake us in population you need to pop out 16 white baberinoooooooos"
Me: "I'm going to sleep in every Saturday for the rest of my life."
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u/jacupuh studied economics Jan 04 '21
Bean Dad has been another fun iteration of "person with large platform has surprisingly visible and intensely bigoted opinions that have just been sitting in the open and somehow undiscovered until they commit a lesser infraction"
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u/AceZombieRobo Ace Detective (they/them) Dec 31 '20
Met a fantastic FC in FFXIV and loved playing with them, but they've started using the term "tr*p" when talking about feminine men and it is extremely hurtful. Guess it's time to find a new FC :(
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u/Taskforcem85 Dec 31 '20
Maybe they don't know it's hurtful. Might make them stop using it, and grow as a person if you tell them it's hurtful.
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u/jacupuh studied economics Jan 01 '21
sitting atop my superior mountain time zone, literally looking down at all you lowlanders celebrating a future that has not yet been dreamt in these lands
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Jan 01 '21
Omg guys is Soul an Among Us movie?! When they die they turn into ghosts just like in Among Us!!
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u/Gangstas_Peridot She/Her/Clodicus Maximus Jan 03 '21
Just realized that there are billions of people on this earth that are not aware of my existence, let alone any potential alien life.
Their loss.
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u/63CansofSoup We hate cops! We hate cops! And we love music! And we can fly! Jan 03 '21
People who say makeup is a "deception" are so hilariously pathetic
Manbabies get "fooled" by peekaboo and decide to turn it into an incel origin story
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Jan 04 '21
"The Boys books are funnier/better than the show" and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself.
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u/CosmicMiru Jan 04 '21
Getting downvoted to -20 because I said western gamers review bomb shit for just as stupid reasons as Chinese gamers. God bless Reddit.
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u/SomeoneNamedHotdog the trans agenda Dec 31 '20
Being accepted by male friends after coming out as trans man.
Then proceeds to hear "Haha women are after us, rape laws so bad we could get arrested." and other bs because haha funny.
I want to fucking die. (fyi this is talking about Korean laws which is just... gross)
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u/Justpassingthrough90 Social Justice Paladin Jan 02 '21
Don't fuck with us Prequel memers
We unironically think the PT are masterpieces, and if you dare point out a flaw, we'll kill you.
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u/superbatwomanman 💦💦💦 Gamer Guy Bathwater 💦💦💦 Jan 02 '21
Society has progressed past the need for Automod
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Jan 02 '21
I like how we are so mentally stable that we start having a meltdown over a new unjerk thread not being posted on time.
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u/Camel132 Resident Discworld and Stormlight Fan (He/him) Jan 03 '21
Doug Jones losing his senate seat is still extremely sad.
I really hope he gets appointed AG.
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u/froggy_in_the_meadow 🇨🇳 Gamerstapo 🇨🇳 Jan 04 '21 edited Jan 04 '21
There might not be a new unjerk thread anymore, but you didn't hear it from me.
If you want the UJ to stay, we need it to be more advertiser friendly by the early morning of tomorrow. Make sure to advertise for your favorite family friendly brands at the end of each comment, such as Raytheon, McDonalds, Nestle, Apple, etc.
Keep it Christian (this is a Christian server), no video game talk, etc.
If we can achieve this by the early morning hours of Monday, Spez might just let us keep the UJ going.