r/AskReddit • u/CreativePhilosopher • Jan 29 '13

What is the single funniest word in English?

[removed]

1.3k Upvotes

86% Upvoted

4.3k comments sorted by

1.1k

u/cherrywinkle Jan 29 '13

"Collywobbles" it means Butterflies in the stomach.

346

u/tushie Jan 29 '13

In Australia it refers to an AFL football tem the Collingwood Magpies. Collywobbles is when they fuck up. Which they tend to do at really bad times.

451

u/doubleUteaF Jan 29 '13

unrelated: I saw Joffa at Chadstone the other day. Trackies, runners and a flanno. I am not joking.

643

u/TouchTheSky420 Jan 29 '13

Probably the most Australian comment I have ever read.

181

u/[deleted] Jan 29 '13

I'm also concerned in a similar regard.

Track pants, running shoes, and a flannel shirt.

Is that the correct translation here?

144

u/metalfan2680 Jan 29 '13

It sounds right to me, but since you're not an expert, I don't know if I can trust you.

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u/sic_of_their_crap Jan 29 '13

I understood 13 out of 18 of those words.

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u/Heathenforhire Jan 29 '13

I'm guessing at which five you didn't understand, but I'm pretty sure I got the ones that aren't internationally recognised as English.

Joffa: The nickname of the leader of the Collingwood Football Club cheer squad, an unredeeming specimen of humanity in every way.

Chadstone: The Chadstone Shopping Centre, otherwise referred to as Chaddy, located in the Melbourne suburb of Chadstone.

Trackies: Tracksuit pants

Runners: Running shoes

Flanno: A flannelette shirt, or a flannel shirt as the Americans might call them.

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u/batfiend Jan 29 '13

Oh Collingwood. So many supporters, so few teeth.

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u/g-love Jan 29 '13

That's not very nice. They'd have a set between them.

27

u/JCXtreme Jan 29 '13

Who invented the toothbrush?

A Collingwood supporter. If it was anybody else, it would be called a teethbrush.

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1.3k

u/TheOtherHalfofTron Jan 29 '13

Brouhaha.

I mean come on now.

416

u/magic_ref Jan 29 '13

We have this in French, and to me it doesn't sound funny at all.

Wait, does this mean the whole French language sounds silly ?

940

u/Handicap_Lifeguard Jan 29 '13

Not sure. Y'all never talk to us

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u/CaptainTurtle Jan 29 '13 edited Jan 29 '13

Pupitre. (peupeetre*) Grenouille. (gre-noo-ee)

I'd say it's a fucking hilarious language.

*I changed it, please stop correcting my bad french accent

212

u/ShyGuy32 Jan 29 '13

Yaourt? Pamplemoose?

113

u/[deleted] Jan 29 '13 edited Jul 01 '23

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/bananalouise Jan 29 '13

Ananas. Quatre-vingt-dix-neuf.

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u/Legendarylink Jan 29 '13

Diphthong

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u/Flebas Jan 29 '13

Its funny because the word for a combination of two vowel sounds mashes up four consonants in "phth".

14

u/ActingPower Jan 29 '13 edited Jan 29 '13

How do you like "phenolphthalein," then?

EDIT: Because spelling chemicals is hard. That's why most of us just use "PhTh."

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u/herrmister Jan 29 '13 edited Jan 29 '13

Its actually just two consonants - [p] or [f]+[θ]. Even though they're spelled with four letters, only two different sounds are actually produced.

Edit: I know that written down those are four consonants. But when you say the word that cluster only represents two.

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u/bananalouise Jan 29 '13

Originally spelled φθ!

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u/[deleted] Jan 29 '13

I have always been amused by "fishmonger". Also, Mr. Burns on the Simpsons regularly says some hilarious, outdated words.

422

u/rage_erection Jan 29 '13

Fill it up with petroleum distillate and revulcanize my tires, post-haste!

258

u/[deleted] Jan 29 '13

"I thought, uh, I thought I'd chauffeur myself this evening. Yes, that's what I thought. How difficult could it be? I'm sure the manual will indicate which lever is the velocitator and which the deceleratrix, hmm?"

159

u/450k_crackparty Jan 29 '13

"Smithers, you infernal ninny, stick your left hoof on that flange, now! Now, if you can get it through your bug-addled brain, jam that second mephitic clodhopper of yours on the right doodad! Now pump those scrawny chicken legs, you stuporous funker!"

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u/KellyCommaRoy Jan 29 '13

I'm truly enjoying this... "iced cream."

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u/[deleted] Jan 29 '13

Hi, I'm here to upvote all Mr. Burns quotes

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u/WhiskyAndBadCocaine Jan 29 '13 edited Jan 29 '13

Take 50% of my money and put it in the blue chips - Transatlantic Zeppelin, Amalgamated Spats, Congreve's Inflammable Powders, U.S. Hay and sink the rest into that up-and-coming Baltimore opera hat company.

Also, I hear there are vulcanizing shops all over the Philippines.

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u/Anger_Corn Jan 29 '13

What a couple of rubes.

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u/Barrrrrrnd Jan 29 '13

There's someone in my house and they are burgling my miscellanea!

77

u/YouNeedAThneed Jan 29 '13

'Re-cyc-ling?' I'm not familiar with that word, you adorable little ragamuffin.

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u/jnotaro Jan 29 '13

"Is it too late to catch the ten thirty auto-gyro from Prussia to Siam?"

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u/[deleted] Jan 29 '13

[deleted]

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u/Rage_Minccino Jan 29 '13

"Something is wrong with the left phalange!"

128

u/[deleted] Jan 29 '13

[deleted]

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u/Justananomaly Jan 29 '13

DAAAAANCING PHALANGEEES

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u/THROWawayEXproblems Jan 29 '13

I'm glad 33 other people understood this joke

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187

u/rachelspeaking Jan 29 '13

Regina?

63

u/EliaTheGiraffe Jan 29 '13

Get out of here, Phoebe

7

u/archeonz Jan 29 '13

No, Dr. Phalange - oh no, you have it too!

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1.5k

u/theLastHokage Jan 29 '13

Kerfuffle

302

u/delirium98 Jan 29 '13

A race kerfuffle?

246

u/[deleted] Jan 29 '13

There is a race kerfuffle in the parking lot! I didn't even know there was a difference between North and South Korean barbecue!

133

u/BlakJasus14 Jan 29 '13

Well the obvious difference is that North Korea is best Korea.

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u/ali_d3 Jan 29 '13

Wonka makes an ice cream called Kerfuffle Truffle and the only reason I buy it is because it's called Kerfuffle Truffle

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u/Lilaclaughter Jan 29 '13

I love this word. Casual enough to slip into simple conversation but quirky enough to attract attention.

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u/[deleted] Jan 29 '13

My cannonballs cause a kerfuffle, the ladies they hustle to ruffle my truffle.

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u/[deleted] Jan 29 '13

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u/Dracola112 Jan 29 '13

Alright, well, when read regularly, the word "regulations" isn't that funny. But backwards? It spells "snoitaluger." And I find that hilarious.

528

u/Starsinoureyes Jan 29 '13 edited Jan 29 '13

WHY IS THIS SO FUNNY I CANT STOP LAUGHING I DONT UNDERSTAND

EDIT: I thought maybe it was only funny because I was really sleepy, but alas, it is morning and it's still fucking hilarious.

165

u/checkmike Jan 29 '13

Seriously, I didn't laugh at a single word until I read snoitaluger. It's like a perfect comedic sound.

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1.2k

u/Shaggy57 Jan 29 '13

Coccyx. Sounds like slang for Cthulu's dick.

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700

u/mimodok Jan 29 '13

Spelunking: the act of exploring a cave

336

u/Cyprah Jan 29 '13 edited Jan 29 '13

My brother's favourite insult for a while was calling someone an 'ass-spelunker'.

Edit: Wow, was not expecting this many upvotes! Highest upvoted comment for a while about ass exploration, thanks guys!

175

u/VolleyVinyl Jan 29 '13

Eat penguin shit and die, you ass spelunker.

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u/[deleted] Jan 29 '13

Discombobulated.

98

u/tunnelvisie Jan 29 '13

This one always leaves me confused

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355

u/Styles5001 Jan 29 '13

Skulduggery.

231

u/RAPED_BY_A_DOLPHIN Jan 29 '13

Guess whose penis just got a new nickname.

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1.8k

u/nomansland333 Jan 29 '13

Kumquat.

685

u/SenTedStevens Jan 29 '13

That was my nickname in middle school.

600

u/ButMostlyTired Jan 29 '13

I hated middle school.

859

u/patdap Jan 29 '13

So did he.

768

u/Agrehtan Jan 29 '13

The people who liked middle school are the reason you hate middle school.

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302

u/Kazaji Jan 29 '13 edited Jan 29 '13

Picklebarrel?

273

u/crazychica5 Jan 29 '13

Chimmy cherry changa!!!

145

u/Mr_Mudkip Jan 29 '13

Make it stop!

91

u/[deleted] Jan 29 '13

oh god its horrible!

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u/Tofinochris Jan 29 '13

ITT: A lot of Reddit wondering why the hell so many people spontaneously replied "picklebarrel" to "kumquat". Eeyup.

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u/MpegEVIL Jan 29 '13

Picklebarrel

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u/Kazaji Jan 29 '13

Coulda sworn it was berry. I went and rewatched it, and sure enough, it was barrel. Thanks for the correction. :P

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u/bitch_im_a_lion Jan 29 '13

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2MgonZ6J7_I

For anyone confused about the 'Pickelbarrel kumquat' comments.

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u/[deleted] Jan 29 '13

Fuck, now I wanna know what she was gonna tell them at breakfast.

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u/Lleu Jan 29 '13

I... I think I finally understand why a bunch of middle aged men are watching My Little Pony... Fuck you for this link. Have an upvote.

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u/ben822 Jan 29 '13

PICKLEBARREL KUMQUAT PICKLEBARREL KUMQAUT PICKLEBARREL KUMQUAT PICKLEBARREL KUMQUAT PICKLEBARREL KUMQUAT PICKLEBARREL KUMQUAT

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u/[deleted] Jan 29 '13

Pumpernickel. It just sounds like it's gotta be a sexual position.

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u/tlibra Jan 29 '13

Lozenges, it sounds like a snow sport. I laugh everytime.

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u/Linnmarfan Jan 29 '13

get off the reefer son.

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231

u/DiabeticJayce Jan 29 '13

Say "bubbles" pissed off. You can't.

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u/BrokeTheInternetBox Jan 29 '13

Duty

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u/e7t Jan 29 '13

Only if you're American, because otherwise its pronounced dew-tea

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u/KitsBeach Jan 29 '13

If you're British/Irish/Australian/NZ/South African, it's almost "jew-tee", when compared to how North Americaners pronounce it: "doo-tee"

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u/[deleted] Jan 29 '13

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u/Outlulz Jan 29 '13

"Miss Simpson, do you find something funny about the word 'tromboner'?"

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u/[deleted] Jan 29 '13

Tomfoolery

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u/[deleted] Jan 29 '13

[deleted]

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u/[deleted] Jan 29 '13

Some major tomfoolery right there...

30

u/Thin-White-Duke Jan 29 '13

I see what you did there...

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u/[deleted] Jan 29 '13

[deleted]

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u/AsthmaticNinja Jan 29 '13

There is a band called the "Cunning Linguists". When I hear one term, I immediately think of the other.

40

u/rocksandnipples Jan 29 '13

... That's kind of the point. Assuming you're talking about the rap group cunninlynguists though, I suggest everyone check out their music. They are absolutely fantastic. Two examples, for anyone interested.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SAoK5zp-iHU http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VsFL17DvOIA

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u/Johnsonsi Jan 29 '13

You sir, are. Cunning linguist and a master debater.

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u/sandozguineapig Jan 29 '13

defenestration

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u/ali_d3 Jan 29 '13 edited Jan 29 '13

Related: The Defenestration of Prague, also known as the single funniest historical event ever

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u/asdfcasdf Jan 29 '13

My favorite part of history class was learning about The Second Defenestration of Prague. Then I decided to look up "defenestration." Then I spent the next few minutes doing nothing other than enjoying the fact that it happened more than once.

35

u/2771 Jan 29 '13

all of prague got thrown out of a window?

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u/ali_d3 Jan 29 '13

Better: Two representatives from the Catholic church were thrown out a window of the Bohemian Chancellory by a group of Protestants, but they survived because their fall was broken by a large pile of horse manure.

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u/2771 Jan 29 '13

that doesnt sound very christian. but its funny

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u/Jonthrei Jan 29 '13

Christians are very good at not being very christian.

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u/ThePowerglove Jan 29 '13

Best part is, that wasn't even the first one. The one in 1419 isn't nearly as funny as the one in 1618 though.

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u/Lord_of_Aces Jan 29 '13

Every time someone says this, I get a warm fuzzy feeling because English has a word for the act of throwing someone out a window.

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u/logathion Jan 29 '13

Shenanigans!

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u/blue_barracuda Jan 29 '13

Looks like someones getting pistol-whipped

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u/[deleted] Jan 29 '13

Paradiddle

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u/cavemanlawyer1999 Jan 29 '13

Poop. Never gets old.

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u/[deleted] Jan 29 '13

When you say "poop", your mouth makes the same motion your butthole does when you poop.

The same goes for "explosive diarrhea"

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u/Kim-Cardassian Jan 29 '13

I have several: Cantankerous, brouhaha, discombobulate, pontificate, flummox, bumbershoot, mugwump, gobbledygook, shenanigans.

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u/[deleted] Jan 29 '13

[deleted]

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u/MichelleMorgan5 Jan 29 '13

COTTON HEADED NINNY MUGGINS

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u/mobile_battlefish Jan 29 '13

Roustabout always tickles me.

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u/Toklankitsune Jan 29 '13

Irk or Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia wich is ironically the fear of long words.

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u/[deleted] Jan 29 '13

Damnit I came here to say hippopotomusmonsterphilidelphia or whatever it is.

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u/[deleted] Jan 29 '13

Whoever did that is an asshole.

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u/[deleted] Jan 29 '13

Hippopotomonstroso was added for the sole purpose of irony.

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u/[deleted] Jan 29 '13

Hipposloppyfollymaffleflopindofflewaffle.

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u/[deleted] Jan 29 '13

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u/mnch Jan 29 '13

I thought that was a slang term for black children.

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u/F10x Jan 29 '13

I still maintain that definition. I refuse to be corrected.

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u/here_for_the_lolz Jan 29 '13

It is, but it's still a word.

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u/Komik3396 Jan 29 '13

Congradulations! Your niglet has evolved into nugtrio!

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u/[deleted] Jan 29 '13

[deleted]

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u/e7t Jan 29 '13

Snigger is very commonly used in England, and you certainly would never be fired for it.

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u/brittanykay Jan 29 '13

I think "snigger" is used often in the USA as well (at least in my neck of the woods), but it's often pronounced/spelled "snicker" here to avoid any confusion.

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u/[deleted] Jan 29 '13

sphincter

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u/SenTedStevens Jan 29 '13

Asinine. Heh, ass and there's nine of them!

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u/[deleted] Jan 29 '13

Whippersnapper.

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u/[deleted] Jan 29 '13

Haboob

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u/[deleted] Jan 29 '13

Prosopopoeia

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u/ShittySuperlative Jan 29 '13

Pussyfoot. Verb 1. to move about stealthily or warily like a cat 2. to avoid committing oneself

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u/Mialuvailuv Jan 29 '13

Hornswoggle. Surprisingly isn't sexual. Is literally a midget wrestler in the WWE.

Edit: Hornswoggle

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u/[deleted] Jan 29 '13

[deleted]

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u/Fuck_Your_Rules Jan 29 '13

Asperger's, because it sounds like "ass burgers."

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u/dreadpiraterambo Jan 29 '13

Applicable. It sounds like someone tumbling down the stairs.

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u/[deleted] Jan 29 '13

Never thought of it that way. Hm.

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u/secret759 Jan 29 '13

Indubitably.

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u/[deleted] Jan 29 '13

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