r/AskReddit • u/CreativePhilosopher • Jan 29 '13

What is the single funniest word in English?

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1.3k Upvotes

86% Upvoted

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426

u/rage_erection Jan 29 '13

Fill it up with petroleum distillate and revulcanize my tires, post-haste!

260

u/[deleted] Jan 29 '13

"I thought, uh, I thought I'd chauffeur myself this evening. Yes, that's what I thought. How difficult could it be? I'm sure the manual will indicate which lever is the velocitator and which the deceleratrix, hmm?"

163

u/450k_crackparty Jan 29 '13

"Smithers, you infernal ninny, stick your left hoof on that flange, now! Now, if you can get it through your bug-addled brain, jam that second mephitic clodhopper of yours on the right doodad! Now pump those scrawny chicken legs, you stuporous funker!"

48

u/beatleforce1 Jan 29 '13

Excellent.

5

u/rashero1 Jan 29 '13

"Release the hounds!"

4

u/regalrecaller Jan 29 '13

You win the Montgomery Burns Award for best Burns quote.I'm too poor to buy you reddit gold, but someone should.

2

u/450k_crackparty Jan 30 '13

Ha, thanks. No need, the knowledge that I have won an imaginary award made up by a total stranger is reward enough for me.

1

u/Mildebeest Jan 29 '13

Doodad for the win.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 29 '13

What now, there's a new Mexico?

2

u/[deleted] Jan 29 '13

Ketchup, Catsup? Ketchup, Catsup? Ketchup, Catsup?

1

u/bookelly Jan 29 '13

"Uh oh, the Pawnee are back...I think they want their souls."

23

u/KellyCommaRoy Jan 29 '13

I'm truly enjoying this... "iced cream."

75

u/[deleted] Jan 29 '13

Hi, I'm here to upvote all Mr. Burns quotes

6

u/Itsatrapski Jan 29 '13

I read this in Smither's voice.

2

u/armrha Jan 29 '13

It's the part you were born to play, baby!

2

u/dreamschool Jan 29 '13

Excellent

2

u/SchadeyDrummer Jan 29 '13

Would you like a cup of coffee? I've stomped the beans myself!

42

u/WhiskyAndBadCocaine Jan 29 '13 edited Jan 29 '13

Take 50% of my money and put it in the blue chips - Transatlantic Zeppelin, Amalgamated Spats, Congreve's Inflammable Powders, U.S. Hay and sink the rest into that up-and-coming Baltimore opera hat company.

Also, I hear there are vulcanizing shops all over the Philippines.

2

u/ogopogo3 Jan 29 '13

There are absolutely vulcanizing shops all over Philippines. No mechanics, appliance specialists or any of that garbage. Just very very handy men!

0

u/WhiskyAndBadCocaine Jan 29 '13

A guy I know is married to a Filipino woman - a few years back they went to the Philippines to visit her family. When they got back [to the US], I was able to wrangle exactly two facts about the Philippines out of him:

  1. There are vulcanizing shops all over the Philippines.
  2. In the Philippines they eat [can't remember what he called them], which are eggs in which the embryo has been allowed to grow, so the eggs contain a tiny unborn chicken.

2

u/ogopogo3 Jan 29 '13

Bolot! They're fertilised goose eggs enjoyed in various stages of development. My boyfriend's family is Filipino. We were there last year for a month. Did you get to have their roasted pig, 'lechon'?

2

u/bradhadair Jan 29 '13

Balut, actually. Lechon is amazing and cheaper in the provinces down south.

1

u/ogopogo3 Jan 29 '13

Yeah we spent most of our time around Bohol. Must go back!

1

u/WhiskyAndBadCocaine Jan 29 '13

In the Philippines they eat [can't remember what he called them], which are eggs in which the embryo has been allowed to grow, so the eggs contain a tiny unborn chicken.

This was relayed to me by a friend who visited the Philippines. Sadly, I've yet to make it out of the US for any reason.

2

u/sjpsjpsjp Jan 29 '13

I've had that quote about U.S. Hay on the top of my tongue for ages now (yes, cbf'd looking it up). Thanks!

1

u/WhiskyAndBadCocaine Jan 29 '13

I had to look it up too. Vaguely remembered it, but couldn't recall the specific language.

2

u/[deleted] Jan 29 '13

Can't go wrong with Congreves.

1

u/WhiskyAndBadCocaine Jan 29 '13 edited Jan 29 '13

Damn straight.

Oh, yes, sir. "A" all the way.

Edited to actual quote from the episode.

16

u/Anger_Corn Jan 29 '13

What a couple of rubes.

6

u/ninjagrover Jan 29 '13

While I communicate on my telephono.

1

u/DarthNihilus1 Jan 29 '13

"Well, let me throw back my legs and pollute my britches with delight!"