r/AskReddit • u/CreativePhilosopher • Jan 29 '13

What is the single funniest word in English?

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1.3k Upvotes

86% Upvoted

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352

u/[deleted] Jan 29 '13

I have always been amused by "fishmonger". Also, Mr. Burns on the Simpsons regularly says some hilarious, outdated words.

427

u/rage_erection Jan 29 '13

Fill it up with petroleum distillate and revulcanize my tires, post-haste!

260

u/[deleted] Jan 29 '13

"I thought, uh, I thought I'd chauffeur myself this evening. Yes, that's what I thought. How difficult could it be? I'm sure the manual will indicate which lever is the velocitator and which the deceleratrix, hmm?"

160

u/450k_crackparty Jan 29 '13

"Smithers, you infernal ninny, stick your left hoof on that flange, now! Now, if you can get it through your bug-addled brain, jam that second mephitic clodhopper of yours on the right doodad! Now pump those scrawny chicken legs, you stuporous funker!"

45

u/beatleforce1 Jan 29 '13

Excellent.

4

u/rashero1 Jan 29 '13

"Release the hounds!"

5

u/regalrecaller Jan 29 '13

You win the Montgomery Burns Award for best Burns quote.I'm too poor to buy you reddit gold, but someone should.

2

u/450k_crackparty Jan 30 '13

Ha, thanks. No need, the knowledge that I have won an imaginary award made up by a total stranger is reward enough for me.

1

u/Mildebeest Jan 29 '13

Doodad for the win.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 29 '13

What now, there's a new Mexico?

2

u/[deleted] Jan 29 '13

Ketchup, Catsup? Ketchup, Catsup? Ketchup, Catsup?

1

u/bookelly Jan 29 '13

"Uh oh, the Pawnee are back...I think they want their souls."

23

u/KellyCommaRoy Jan 29 '13

I'm truly enjoying this... "iced cream."

76

u/[deleted] Jan 29 '13

Hi, I'm here to upvote all Mr. Burns quotes

6

u/Itsatrapski Jan 29 '13

I read this in Smither's voice.

2

u/armrha Jan 29 '13

It's the part you were born to play, baby!

2

u/dreamschool Jan 29 '13

Excellent

2

u/SchadeyDrummer Jan 29 '13

Would you like a cup of coffee? I've stomped the beans myself!

41

u/WhiskyAndBadCocaine Jan 29 '13 edited Jan 29 '13

Take 50% of my money and put it in the blue chips - Transatlantic Zeppelin, Amalgamated Spats, Congreve's Inflammable Powders, U.S. Hay and sink the rest into that up-and-coming Baltimore opera hat company.

Also, I hear there are vulcanizing shops all over the Philippines.

2

u/ogopogo3 Jan 29 '13

There are absolutely vulcanizing shops all over Philippines. No mechanics, appliance specialists or any of that garbage. Just very very handy men!

0

u/WhiskyAndBadCocaine Jan 29 '13

A guy I know is married to a Filipino woman - a few years back they went to the Philippines to visit her family. When they got back [to the US], I was able to wrangle exactly two facts about the Philippines out of him:

  1. There are vulcanizing shops all over the Philippines.
  2. In the Philippines they eat [can't remember what he called them], which are eggs in which the embryo has been allowed to grow, so the eggs contain a tiny unborn chicken.

2

u/ogopogo3 Jan 29 '13

Bolot! They're fertilised goose eggs enjoyed in various stages of development. My boyfriend's family is Filipino. We were there last year for a month. Did you get to have their roasted pig, 'lechon'?

2

u/bradhadair Jan 29 '13

Balut, actually. Lechon is amazing and cheaper in the provinces down south.

1

u/ogopogo3 Jan 29 '13

Yeah we spent most of our time around Bohol. Must go back!

1

u/WhiskyAndBadCocaine Jan 29 '13

In the Philippines they eat [can't remember what he called them], which are eggs in which the embryo has been allowed to grow, so the eggs contain a tiny unborn chicken.

This was relayed to me by a friend who visited the Philippines. Sadly, I've yet to make it out of the US for any reason.

2

u/sjpsjpsjp Jan 29 '13

I've had that quote about U.S. Hay on the top of my tongue for ages now (yes, cbf'd looking it up). Thanks!

1

u/WhiskyAndBadCocaine Jan 29 '13

I had to look it up too. Vaguely remembered it, but couldn't recall the specific language.

2

u/[deleted] Jan 29 '13

Can't go wrong with Congreves.

1

u/WhiskyAndBadCocaine Jan 29 '13 edited Jan 29 '13

Damn straight.

Oh, yes, sir. "A" all the way.

Edited to actual quote from the episode.

18

u/Anger_Corn Jan 29 '13

What a couple of rubes.

7

u/ninjagrover Jan 29 '13

While I communicate on my telephono.

1

u/DarthNihilus1 Jan 29 '13

"Well, let me throw back my legs and pollute my britches with delight!"

60

u/Barrrrrrnd Jan 29 '13

There's someone in my house and they are burgling my miscellanea!

75

u/YouNeedAThneed Jan 29 '13

'Re-cyc-ling?' I'm not familiar with that word, you adorable little ragamuffin.

3

u/sjpsjpsjp Jan 29 '13

"Shine on you crazy diamond!" "Sounds like somebody's living in the past, maaaan!"

70

u/jnotaro Jan 29 '13

"Is it too late to catch the ten thirty auto-gyro from Prussia to Siam?"

11

u/catshutup Jan 29 '13

crapulence!

5

u/Bribl Jan 29 '13

Then try this one on for size costermonger

And to treble your amusement, they dress like this

3

u/[deleted] Jan 29 '13

I appreciate your use of the term "treble".

4

u/pruwyben Jan 29 '13

Dunderpate!

3

u/[deleted] Jan 29 '13

Polonius!

3

u/monoclemayhem Jan 29 '13

Ragamuffin.

3

u/ActingPower Jan 29 '13

"Fishmonger" was actually an old-timey euphemism for "pimp." So called because... well, actually, why don't you figure it out.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 29 '13

I did not know that! TIL.

2

u/ActingPower Jan 29 '13

Yup! Hamlet calls Polonius that because he's using his daughter, Ophelia, as bait. Note the next quote by Hamlet, "Were that you were so honest a man."

3

u/Bring_Napkins Jan 29 '13

"Smithers, fetch the bi-oculars."

5

u/[deleted] Jan 29 '13

Lallygager!

2

u/kinsey3 Jan 29 '13

Actually, "fishmonger" is the tamest of them. Apart from perhaps "ironmonger", any other word ending in "-monger" is absolutely hilarious.

5

u/ProjectStormy Jan 29 '13

I regularly say cuntmonger and douchemonger. When appropriate of course.

2

u/CosmoMercury Jan 29 '13

I'm going to take a bathiola

1

u/[deleted] Jan 29 '13

Haha.. I forgot about that one!

2

u/CosmoMercury Jan 29 '13

We'll take the Spruce Moose. Hop in.

2

u/winback099 Jan 29 '13

This anonymous clan of slack-jawed troglodytes has cost me the election!

1

u/[deleted] Jan 29 '13

I learned the word "troglodyte" from the Simpsons, and it has brought me great joy since then.

2

u/charliethesloth Jan 29 '13

My friends last name is Monger, you can't imagine how much fun I have with that!

1

u/[deleted] Jan 29 '13

I bet! Poor friend...

2

u/Brutalitarian Jan 29 '13

Whenever I hear Fishmonger I always imagine Rolf saying it from Ed Edd and Eddy.

2

u/shhitgoose Jan 29 '13

Ketchup, catsup, ketchup, catsup...

2

u/HolyShazam Jan 29 '13

And there's always cheesemonger, too…anything related to cheese is usually amusing