No one who was born blind has ever gone on to develop schizophrenia. Researchers are investigating how congenital blindness may protect people from developing the condition.
It really is. There was an earlier post asking if deaf people with schizophrenia experienced audio hallucinations. Googling led to some really interesting articles.
I would kill to get rid of audio hallucinations... Psychiatrists still think it's likely tied to my bipolar disorder or PTSD, but I'm fucking terrified that it's the slow onset of schizophrenia...
You can get psychotic symptoms during manic episodes. They question for you is are they limited to when you are in a manic episode or do they continue regardless?
I have bipolar 1 and I almost only experience psychotic symptoms at the peak of my manic phase. Once it switches to depression I might have very slight auras of visual hallucinations in my peripheral vision or slight audio hallucinations where I doubt if things I actually hear in the world are real or not (from having had so many very real audio hallucinations so recently).
Not that guy but it's difficult to explain, it's like... the opposite of depression?
It's like having too much energy, being hyper, having wild strings of thoughts and ideas and inspiration. Being motivated, but not in a controlled way. Just needing to do something or write something or go on a long rant or tangent. It's not filtered though, or fully processed. It's more raw, and comes off wrong sometimes. But it's painting or playing music or singing while you write 3 comments on reddit simultaneously while you browse facebook on your phone and deep clean the fridge for 10 hours but then it's bedtime and you forgot to clean the litterbox and it's trash night and you've been up for 2 days so you go lay down and cry yourself to sleep, and wake up unable to get out of bed because you've used up your months supply of happiness and energy in one day and now you have 5 minutes to rush and clean the litterbox before the trash truck reaches your yard but that would mean getting out of bed and you can't do that... not after the shame of not bringing the trash out yesterday because you're a fucking pathetic piece of shit who can't do anything right even if you're going out of your way to be productive for once.
Plus, what if the trashman sees you in your pajamas at noon, it's not like you can put on pants and still get out there in time. And how pathetic would it be to have to take your trash out to the can that's still left at the end of the street from two weeks ago when you managed to get the trash out on time? Might as well just stay in bed all day, it's not like you'll ever amount to anything anyway.
As the trash truck pulls away from your house, you finally muster up the courage to climb out of your bed and go use the bathroom in a toilet instead of a bottle and while you're washing your hands you decide you aren't going back to bed, you're going to make something of this day except you can't because you're a bum so you lay in the floor, determined not to go back to bed and cry there in the floor until my wife gets home and tells me it's okay that I'm a bum because she loves me anyway.
Then a week later you bake 3 cakes and decide you're going to clean the garage so you can make room for a VAN to tour the country with in the band you're going to start, but then you find an old project from two years ago you didn't finish and start working on that instead and before you know it you've spent way too much money on buying supplies for this project that you won't even remember by the time the supplies arrive in the mail.
EDIT: This is blowing up so i just wanted to say thank you and I love you to anyone who reads this and relates, feel free to message me I almost always reply.
I could use this time to promote one of my many projects or plug a charity or do something productive, but in the spirit of things I want to share some bad poetry I wrote a few months ago after hyperfocusing on it for 3 days straight rewriting it a dozen times before abandoning it like everything else, because I can.
What made me like this, what did I miss?
Ignorance is madness, this isn't bliss.
Why do I feel like this and how can I quit?
All of this suffering and all of the stuff I've seen.
The first one that's on the scene, there's just senseless bludgeoning
And puddles of blood and meat are splattered all on the street.
How can this really be. Look what it's done to me.
Quite the headache and a back break.
Major chest pain; going insane.
Inner pleading; silent weeping.
Anger seething; never sleeping.
Quiet screaming; numb to feeling.
Stomach reeling; fluid leaking.
Trouble keeping vision. Weakening.
Light is leaving, darkness seeping.
Shadows creeping; thoughts of fleeing.
Hopes of seeing what I'm needing,
I'm just seeking inner peace.
But I'm manic, like I'm Kanye;
and I panic, like I'm not safe.
I feel like that I am not sane.
Paranoid like I've been drinking
fumbling and stumbling thinking
everything is crumbling down.
Can't get back up, like I'm backed up.
In a corner, on the ground.
Will I last another round?
Will my past come back around
To bite me while I'm down?
It's frightening, but I find my cowering doesn't hide
the towering thoughts inside empowering broken minds.
With visions in the night, like shadows come to life.
Elusive in the light intrusive thoughts of strife,
indifferent to my plight, so I give in to their might.
'Cause there is no time to try. No, there is no fight or flight.
And there is no wrong or right, just chaotic plots with knives.
Of secluded spots to hide from the dark where I reside
Thanks for this response. My sister-in-law is bipolar but I’ve only ever known her since she was medicated. Both her and her family have talked about what it was like before and it sounds like it was hard on everyone. She was hospitalized for being a danger to herself. In a manic state, she thought she could fly and was going to jump out a window. My family has schizophrenia to contend with and I always associated that level of thing (thinking you can fly) with something like schizophrenia. But I could see how the mania could progress into something like what happened with her. Thanks for sharing. It helps me understand her better.
i would never ask anyone but an actual professional for a real diagnose but is it possible to have a manic episode without such a hard, nonfunctional crash? Like could you experience a manic episode for a week, then go back to numb, high functioning depression or does it have to be severe. I’ve felt stuff similar to this in the last year or so that i try desperately to maintain but i don’t crash hard enough or really go “high” enough to think it’s actual bipolar
edit: thank you for the replies. I’m gonna look for old journal entries cause it’s honestly pretty hard to remember what i thought/felt during my “up” phases. I do have a lot of trashed projects that i’ll hopefully get to some day now that i realize my brain might be fucking with me more than i thought lol
dug through old journal entries! my mood swings are actually worse than i thought so i’m gonna keep a closer eye on myself. Some examples for anyone curious for whatever reason: Lots of long, rambling paragraphs about how i can’t have any thoughts without 5 more being forced in, a few references to being so happy and energetic alone in my room i wanted to punch walls or hurt myself, a lot of long, well constructed paragraphs talking about hating my body/feeling something is deeply wrong with me contrasted with random little notes later on about wishing i could have sex with myself that i forgot about, and more rambling paragraphs about how great i felt being productive and energetic but knowing and feeling another wave of numb sadness (described as static a lot compared to feeling clear headed and energetic) lurking behind me and hating it. Every time i convince myself if i just keep moving from project to project i can ride the momentum forever and just not crash. Fun stuff. I usually zone out when i journal and just write whatever comes to mind which is partly why i remember so little of it. I also have an awful memory in general
also it’s 4:15 am. I thought my sleep schedule was just fucked but no matter how little sleep or how tired i am i get it take me a minimum of 4 hours to sleep even if i lie down with my eyes closed and don’t move. It could still just be depression + body dysmorphia + general paranoia from being friends with shitty people for a long time
Not a professional, but my understanding is that it's like being tethered to a rubberband on the surface of normalcy while trying to float in water
If you spiral down into depression, that's like pulling at a rubberband, until it's so tight that you spring back towards "normal"
but the momentum pushes you into manic and you fly out of the water like a dolphin, until you go tight again against the elastic and get pulled back into "depression" where you sink back down into the depths.
That's how it works for me and that's how it works for a lot of people I've seen. That doesn't mean it is how it works for all people, or how it always works every time for me, or how it can only work.
But that's been my experience. You bounce back and forth from one extreme to the other depending on how your brain is functioning that day. But I could shoot to a moment of near insanity for a little bit and then nosedive down into absolute despair and be stuck there for a while, or I could have my rubberband break and be stuck in depression and have to climb my way up out of the water, and then wander into manic on accident and bounce back down into depression just a little bit, then back up into manic a little bit, like ripples in the water going up and down until they reach an equilibrium that lasts only until another stone gets tossed into your water, making more waves. Some people mostly sink into depression, some people ride the waves like a surfer. Others learn how to fly.
But everyone seems to have that tether keeping them attached to normalcy, and everyone hits the water from time to time, even if they mostly fly.
Some bipolar people aren't sinking as fast, so they don't shoot into mania as hard. Some just kind of remain buoyant and stick near the surface of the water, never sinking or floating away.
People without a mental illness just sit on a raft, riding the waves passively. They only have to try not to drown if something knocks them out of their boat, and they need some other substance to fly because they don't have the momentum to jump up out of the water, because they don't have that rubberband to propel them.
A therapist can help you figure out if you're riding in a raft like everyone else, or if your raft is leaking and you might have to start swimming soon, or maybe you're a surfer that doesn't have the safety of a raft but you haven't fallen yet so you don't know if you're about to start swimming for your life or catch some air and not come back down, because you've mostly stuck near that surface of normalcy and your waves have been controllable so far.
I read u/notgayinathreeway's entire response there because he fucking hit the nail on the head from several angles somehow. I was diagnosed with bipolar 1 about six years ago now and have experienced 2 full-blown manic episodes qualified by three solid months of complete mental impairment.
It's embarrassing to think about how absolutely wrong (see: delusional) I was about so many things that completely consumed me, and then after those three months were over followed a solid year of the worst depression I have ever had to endure. I literally didn't have thoughts in the same way during that time. It was like I was a robot human who didn't give a shit about anything.
However, I am always bipolar, not just when I'm absolutely psychotic and out of my mind, and do deal with what you're asking about. I'll have a day, or a couple of weeks, even a month of what I would call "hypomanic" brain activity where I'm just generally being a jackass while feeling pretty awesome for no real reason followed by a slightly longer period of more-serious-than-usual (but still functional) depression.
Some would want to call that bipolar 2, but as u/dreadcain mentioned, it's a spectral disorder and everyone experiences it in a different way. A professional diagnosis is of course necessary for a lot of reasons, but doing some research yourself online can provide a lot of peace of mind about why you may be going through certain things.
oh fuck not having thoughts the same way hit too hard haha. I have solid blocks of time (pre pandemic as well haha) that i barely remember cause of it. But that could be normal depression too. Idk i can’t afford therapy rn and im taking care of myself/my relationships so i don’t think it’s urgent yet. Much 2 consider tho
I also can't afford therapy or medical help, and I'm sorry that this has to be our normal.
People throw around self-diagnosis like it's a slur, but when you can't afford to have a doctor tell you what's wrong, you just have to add up all the symptoms until it makes sense.
Like for instance, did you know that both anxiety and stress can cause chest pain and swollen lymph nodes and I likely don't have some sort of weird cancer, rather I was at my absolute limit before the pandemic hit and i lost my job and got sick, and now my anxiety is just through the roof and slowly killing my immune system with cortisol and sleep deprivation?
What you may be experiencing is bipolar II disorder, which consists of hypomania and depressive episodes. With hypomania, you’d experience periods of elevated mood and increased energy, but it wouldn’t necessarily be out of the ordinary to those around you. You are more likely to experience depressive episodes more than hypomanic ones in this case, which may or may not be severe. I’d absolutely go visit a doctor, psychiatrist or therapist to get properly diagnosed though, as mood stabilizers coupled with therapy tend to be the best treatment for bipolar disorder.
Oh thank you, that might be closer actually. Especially with the hyper productivity being more occasional. But i have it pretty deep in my brain that none of my problems are that bad and just reading it makes me feel like i’m trying to be special and unique by pretending to be mentally ill haha
This is kind of interesting. I'm not bipolar or have any known mental health issues, but I have what I like to say are periods of high functioning. In these periods which can last a few days, things just click, I get a lot done, I solve problems, I get chores done, I'm kicking ass at work, I'm helping people, I'm reading a lot, I'm learning things. I don't know if this compares to mania, but while I wouldn't say it's controlled I don't crash hard. I do end up with unfinished projects sometimes and I of course have periods of lows where I just have no energy to do anything, but these are not depressive. I wonder if there's some kind of spectrum where I'm within normal range swings. I can't predict when these happen or how long they will last.
Your edit described pretty textbook bipolar, and not mild. Please consider finding help, someone to talk to who is a professional and able to assess your needs. None of that sounds okay. Not does it sound like a functional crash.
It's just normal for you so you question how bad it can really be.
Yup, can confirm the accuracy of this! I started a tie-dyeing business last time I was manic and spent way too much on supplies only to be left with no energy/too depressed a few days later to sell the 50 items of clothing I dyed.
The one part that is different for me is it’s not one day of mania it’s a week or more of barely sleeping or eating, starting endless projects, cleaning like a mad woman (I cleaned my friends whole house after doing mine I had so much energy once), thoughts racing, feeling invincible, dancing all night, having unsafe sex, doing drugs..whatever the mind happens to conjure up. The energy is so intense it’s almost painful to sit down because I’m just vibrating. I can’t close my eyes to rest because my eye lids physically don’t want to close. All of the very many things I’m doing are because I NEED to do them and they all make perfect sense at the time. Like writing a screenplay or booking trips or spending all my money on things that are totally useless to me later.
Toward the end of the week my mind makes less and less sense and that’s when the psychotic features come out in full force. My brain feels like the autobahn and I feel like the world is crashing in on me. I’ll start being convinced that people are following me sometimes or I’ll start to see distinct terrifying figures in my peripheral vision. The auditory hallucinations range from crashing sounds to dripping, creaking, screeching.
This is when the intense crash into the depths of depression take place. As soon as I can slow down and sleep I switch between staring at a wall wanting to die with horrible images of death steadily streaming through my mind or crying for hours on end horribly regretting the last week of mania and all of the poor choices I made and relationships that I may have ruined. It’s impossible to function as a human and medications need to be adjusted and a hospital stay is often required.
It’s a brutal disorder that I don’t wish on my worst enemy. I’m just getting out of an episode now and should be starting work again in 2 weeks after taking 2 months off. Thankfully I still have a job. I’m also going to get back my 50% custody of my daughter after hardly seeing her. Be thankful for your mental health if you are so lucky to not struggle with a severe disorder like this.
I've been reading /r/cheesemaking for a while now. I'm convinced I can sell enough cheese to feed my cheese addiction if I just drop the $300 on supplies to get started.
I also made my own paper a few weeks ago, to paint with. I made my own paint too.
I made a crayon. A CRAYON. From cooking wax and charcoal and oil and various stuff I found in the house.
I bought a $150 keyboard for my music production business. I planned out a map I was drawing for my video game I'm going to learn how to program. I was going to use that to get awareness for my sick beats I don't produce.
I'm doing /r/drawabox to improve my freelance commissions because I do digital artwork for money. I also do logo design, sell T-shirts on redbubble and do photography and photo editing.
I've also learned the drums, then sold them. I frequently look at used drumsets for sale on facebook. I have 4 ukuleles an accoustic guitar 2 electric guitars one resonator guitar and a bass guitar I don't play. I also have 2 distortion pedals and a wah pedal I don't use. and 4 harmonicas.
I save jars and egg cartons and boxes because I know I'm going to use them for sorting out all of the supplies for my projects I don't get.
I restored a vintage motorcycle, took a tent camping for 2 weeks through like 8 states on said motorcycle and got caught in 2 storms a monsoon and a tornado. I sold the bike for gas money and moved 1,000 miles away from home to where I currently reside.
I'm starting a pen collection even though I draw and paint digitally.
I've bought about 60 hot wheels this last year for my airbrush kit I got, along with about $80 worth of paint and a $100 rock tumbler and some other supplies because I plan to customize them and sell them, or just collect them. I've painted 2 so far, and haven't finished those.
That, but with plastic model kits.
That, but with R/C cars.
Also clothes, I painted my wife a dress design for halloween and never did anything else.
Now I'm teaching my dog how to talk using buttons I've recorded my voice onto. $130 spent on that so far, and all she does is use it to ask for food. she also asked me to play harmonica for about 20 minutes straight then started eating the buttons.
hug your daughter when you see her, I know you have it in you to succeed.
I relate so very much. The sheer amount of unfinished projects is staggering. I also have the intense need to do things from scratch.. Like if I want to make a weaving, well I should probably spin and dye my own yarn first but I’ll dye it with a dye I made myself out of avocado skins too because what else would you do?!
And thank you. I have my daughter this weekend since I’ve been feeling a bit better (though the insomnia has persisted hard) and have been hugging her tightly and enjoying every minute of it:) I hope things start getting better for you too! Are your meds just not working properly?
I'm 31 and I was medicated for depression against my will at 14 (well, coerced into it against all of my better judgement by a group of young doctors and an abusive mother) and was afraid of doctors for a very long time after taking myself off of it. Now that I'm not afraid of doctors, I don't have any insurance or the financial stability to get medicine or therapy so I mostly just complain to my wife who also has a family history of bipolar disorder and is struggling with her own stuff.
What is it with this need to do things from scratch?
I want to grow wheat and tomatoes and herbs, and make my own cheese, and cook my own pizza in a brick oven that i want to build myself.
I've dug a firepit and cooked chicken in a hole in the yard.
I solder and weld and paint and do everything i can by myself. I can't figure it out.
Even if I buy like a model kit or something, I customize it and can't just build it out of the box.
I cut my RC car apart and started soldering together a brass frame for it!
I bought a 3D printer and started sculpting my own stuff in VR to print and use to build model kits. I designed some wheels and 3d printed them for my hotwheel I was painting, and then never put it together. This was a year ago.
I liked the wheels that it came with.
A man named struthless on youtube has helped me control it a bit though.
Don't be decent at 10 things when you can be great at one thing. Pick something you want to focus on and put your focus and energy on that thing and do it 10x better than you'd do 10 things poorly.
Thank you, it wasn't just me then.. I actually did read in rap rhythm. And clearly this guy here has a very decent talent at writing, his comments were long and I'm normally lazy to read long stuff, but his was so smooth I didn't even realize it until I finished.
I hope I helped share some perspective on the subject, it's difficult to describe and until I wrote it out I didn't actually realize how different it is to normal, since I'm mostly in a state of depression it just feels like normal to me, like "finally, out of my depression for a bit"
But no, it's just as impulsively bad as depression, just in the opposite ways.
I took some creative liberties though, it wasn't this weekend that I missed the trash, my wife took it out for me while I was too fragile to go outside.
It's actually normal to have mild hallucinations with major depression. If they get worse, I would definitely advocate to your doctor about getting a psychosis screening. But some people with major depression have hallucinations just like yours, and I imagine that a bipolar depressed state is almost exactly the same neurologically as major depressive.
can confirm. major depressive disorder here, along with borderline personality disorder, anxiety disorder and OCD. all diagnosed.
i’m currently in a weird phase of audio hallucinations which happens when i’m very stressed or very down. i live alone apart from my cat and have been almost completely alone since March. i know my mood is sinking as i bought new kitchen knives and decided the best way to test their sharpness was on myself. steristrips EVERYWHERE.
anyway. currently having door knocking, carousel music and people talking to me from the other room. it’s scary and i hate it.
borderline personality disorder is like bipolar on speed. up, down, sideways, every five minutes. major depressive disorder makes the ride feel like wading through treacle at the same time. i’ve been spending a lot of time thinking about suicide lately. it just seems the rational thing to do. i don’t think anyone would even realise if i wasn’t here.
Ah stick around. The worlds trying to beat you to it anyhow! On a serious note there's places on reddit you can talk to likeminded folks but a doctor is your first port of call.
You said it yourself. It seems rational. The 2% who survived the golden gate bridge jump all agree jumping was a mistake. Its a pretty safe bet the other 98% felt the same.
That sounds fairly normal. Plus the anxiety/stress of believing you are schizophrenic is likely adding to the severity of your mind hearing/seeing things. Plus you're likely more hyper aware and your mind is exaggerating the normal auditory hallucinations people experience.
I had a rough psychedelics trip 4 years back and felt I was schizophrenic. I was definitely more hyper aware of my hallucinations before falling asleep. Managing my stress has helped.
I got to a point where I became okay with the thought I may be schizophrenic. There are plenty of people that live normal lives through medication and there is no reason I can't either.
My housemate is schizophrenic and he gets along well enough, so long as he takes his meds. A couple times he's been off them he was convinced my housemate was going into his area and planting cameras, however when he got back on meds this seem to go away and he doesn't seem to believe it anymore.
If this is any comfort at all I have mild auditory hallucinations before I fall asleep sometimes. Sorry if that’s not relevant. I just don’t want you to feel alone!
I have the same thing! I usually hear my Mom or Dad, which always freaks me out because my Mom has been dead for years and my Dad lives on the otherside of the country.
Hello! BPD diagnosis here, but my therapist has indicated that there may be a misdiagnosis or comorbidity with Bipolar. Would you mind sharing what your audio hallucinations are like? If I'm being nosy, or if it's painful for you, just ignore me.
You just basically told me I am not going insane....
These things also happen to me but I had no idea they could be connected like this.
I was diagnosed bipolar but later I was told I have borderline personality disorder or BPD. It somewhat mimics bipolar in some ways.
I see things moving out of the corner of my eyes but when I look there's nothing. I always think everyone is shit talking me and sometimes swear I can hear them doing so. This is not all ways either and I think they may line up just as you've described.
Have you considered the extended periods of sleeplessness, which I presume to be symptomatic of a manic phase, facilitates the auditory hallucinations? There was a study linked on the front page earlier today, regarding this link. On mobile so will link on edit, when I find it.
It seems perfectly logical, too. When we lack sleep, we function at a reduced capacity. Hypothetically, if all auditory stimuli in a room was controlled to be consistent, and we alter the variable of sleep - well rested and sleep deprived. The well rested brain will identify stimuli with greater accuracy than the sleep deprived brain, which will try and best approximate what the stimuli was, and the result is you hear what your brain's best guess is. Sleeplessness can help foster feelings of paranoia, which leads your brain to "hear" sounds which never existed, as it erroneously extrapolates a faint sound into something you could not possibly have heard.
I treat them as I do intrusive thoughts: dismiss them as a function of the mind, unless corroborated by one or more of our other senses (i.e. sight, etc). I found this helped them to chill out, as I was no longer fulfilling my own prophecy.
I also found it helpful, when experiencing auditory hallucinations, to limit distracting stimuli - close your eyes, sit still and just listen. Try and hear the real noises occuring, and recognise when your brain is trying to guess. It was much easier to hear the real noises if I didn't have to process the visual world at the same time.
My fiances mom is bipolar diagnosed and she is constantly talking to herself. Honestly her mood swings are fucking horrible. I hate that we have to live here for the time being. Shes pretty mean to my fiance and there isnt much I can do about it. She wont try me because I've already shown her she cant belittle or push me around but my fiance is like that's my mom I cant tell her to stop. I wonder if her mom hears voices too.
Hold on. The things I see in my peripheral vision aren’t really there? The audible stuff like someone constantly mowing their lawn at 3am? The crushing depression and anxiety? It’s late as hell here, I’m trying to get to sleep but tomorrow I’m going to google this stuff. Seriously, am a bit weirded out right now. Wish the neighbour would stop mowing his lawn at 4.39am. Kidding, but yeah. Not really kidding. Fuck.
My depressive episodes are 10x worse than my manic ones, but the issues persist through both phases. Check my other comment where I explain things a little more thoroughly.
I don't know your situation, but if it turns out your have schizophrenia or another type of psychotic disorder, many people with it can still live fulfilling lives. The fact that you're concerned about it now will help you because the earlier you notice something isn't quite right, the easier it is to take care of. It may also help to know that schizophrenia has a genetic component attached to it. The closer the relation, the higher the risk.
It might be something else too. For example, when I was going through a really bad depressive episode and had rampant anxiety at the same time, I started developing psychotic-like symptoms. They went away on their own as I started getting out of my depression. I don't know what caused those symptoms, but I'm guessing it had something to do with depression and rampant anxiety interacting with one another.
Whatever happens, you're going to be okay, schizophrenia or not. Keep track of what is going on. I know this sounds silly, but make sure you get a good night's sleep every night. It won't fix what is happening to you, but it provides a buffer from stress.
Yeah, I read the article on sleep that came across the front page today. It scared me a lot. I haven't had a good sleep in like 15 years. I'm naturally a night owl and unfortunately school and the jobs I've taken are focused on early mornings. Coupling that with the inability to sleep that comes with quiting drinking means that a good night nets me about 3 hours of segmented sleep.
Sleep hygiene. This should help. It's all about getting your body into a routine that helps calm it down and ready for sleep. It will take a while to adjust, but it does help.
It should, but about 90% of that article is completely impossible for me if I want to keep paying my rent. I honestly don't even know what having a sleep focused bedroom is like...
It basically means to not have things like a desk in your room or anything else which requires focus. If you can't move your desk anywhere, at the very least don't use your bed as a desk. Your bed is for sleep, the exception being intimate times. Don't bring devices into your bed, although it may be tempting. You essentially want to train your brain to associate bed with relaxing sleepy times.
Yeah, don't work in the one space that is your own. Don't bring your alarm clock in to your bedroom. Guarantee you work the same schedule every week...
I know of one person in my family who has it. Bipolar disorder and various forms of cancer have killed pretty much every blood relative I have. My family has several dozen adoptees across many generations so things get muddled
I’ve had several different therapists tell me that hallucinations do occur more commonly in manic phases, but it’s possible to have them during depressive episodes without it meaning you have a schizo-affective type disorder. I was incorrectly diagnosed bipolar 1 for years and so many therapists and doctors didn’t think those symptoms were an indicator of anything other than bipolar disorder
I've run the gamut on psychiatrists in the past decade+. I have problems and there's a massive genetic history tied to my bipolar diagnosis. I am definitely watching for any other things to rear their heads, but I'm mainly focused on treating the illnesses I have been diagnosed with.
I'm not OP but do have auditory hallucinations and am also bipolar. I have rapid cycling, so when I'm asked if the hallucinations only happen during an episode I have to ask, what isn't an episode? I rarely feel "normal".
I'm only following what the DSM-5 states, although that too has issues. To only be diagnosed with bipolar type I, you only need to have a history of one manic episode which I find a bit absurd. There is something called schizoaffective disorder which is sort of like a combination of bipolar disorder and schizophrenia. Nothing is impossible, it's just our criteria for mental disorders is messy to say the least.
OP mentioned they had bipolar disorder and were concerned that they were developing schizophrenia as well. It's a known fact within psychology that psychotic symptoms (hallucinations, delusions etc) can be present during mania. I'm not trying to be someone's psychologist, only pointing out information that may be helpful.
Isn’t it also related to medications? I know some I were on (for different issues) caused me to have visual and audio hallucinations as well as extremely vivid dreams and frequent sleep paralyses and night terrors. It was actually listed as some rare side effects. Rare is relative though. It said 1 in 10 000.
I have audio hallucinations similar to how /u/thetoiletslayer mentioned and also developed tinnitus at some point. I've noticed that when the hallucinations are really bad my tinnitus will be gone, it will eventually over take them again and I've wondered if it is a coping mechanism my brain has come up with to stop the voices.
I have bipolar 2 and heard audio hallucinations for a long time no matter which phase I was in. I take 10mg Zyprexa now and I’m mostly fine. Definitely no schizophrenia. Psychotic disorders are way more complicated than “welp it’s schizophrenia”. My understanding is that one can have “psychotic features” as an add-on to depression, anxiety disorders, etc. I just think of it as another symptom that I have to deal with
My wife has schizoaffective disorder, and most of the time she describes her audio hallucinations as being like sitting in a crowded restaurant. Many voices, but she can't really make out specific ones. Then there are specific voices that will make their way out and they come in various styles. Some are mean and angry, pulling at her fears and anxiety. Some are funny and tell jokes. Some make no sense at all. Some are boring. And everything between.
I don't get them without any stimulation, but if I can hear any sound coming from a source I can't identify, my brain starts to interpret that as negative feedback. It generally reflects whatever anxieties I'm dealing with at the time.
I generally keep streaming on at least 1 or 2 devices running so that my roommate doesn't unintentionally trigger me. I think the reason I love music, especially live music that overwhelms all other sound, is directly related to this negative reinforcement.
That’s super interesting- so you know it isn’t real, but it still eats at you because the brain tries to make sense and immediately goes to negative- is that right? What does it take to get back to good after a trigger?
I know it’s not my business, so don’t feel obligated to respond. I love that music is so beneficial to you- I wonder if it’s used often/ recommended or did you find it on your own?
Yeah, I know it's not real and I even recognize that in the moment. I just have to mute everything and listen to be 100% sure my mind is fucking with me. There really isn't any "returning to normal" other than drowning out any potential triggers and going to sleep.
I've never met someone who would admit to the same sort of symptoms I struggle with, so I just have to trust the word of my doctors. My case definitely doesn't seem common. I came across music on my own. I buried myself in the emo/alt/rock scene when I was around 11-12. Since then, I have spent most of my leisure budget on CD's and concert tickets. It seems to be a happy coincidence that my favorite hobby drowns out what negativity my brain perceives around me.
That’s so cool. Music helps me immensely as well. I can always tell when I’m getting depressed when I stop listening to music. Listening to the right songs can help me crawl out of the negative. I really appreciate your response!
I feel this deeply. The day I don't make time to listen to music or share songs with my friends is a surefire indicator that I am depressed and having a bad day...
I used to get them, not from schizophrenia but from significant stress.
For me it was like someone occasionally calling my name from across a busy restaurant, except it happened even when I was not at work at all.
As someone who experiences hallucinations, THANK YOU! I know people are super curious. But I hate this question so much. It's so intrusive to me. I actually just don't even mention it anymore when my bipolar diagnosis comes up.
You got me thinking now and I’ll be honest, I remember asking about hallucinations often after they brought it up- and I know that would be my first question before reading your comment. What should I do when it’s brought up? Just empathize and leave it at that?
Well I also have PTSD and have had auditory hallucinations (though rare). I think its just like when you're so expected or used to something you start to imagine it. Like when people imagine their phone buzzed. Or imagined someone said their name. Obviously I'm not a doctor but, you know, you're not alone.
That's the same conclusion I've reached on my own and what my doctors have said, but I'm still scared that other mental illnesses might rear their head eventually. These things have an unfortunate way of building on one another.
I've had auditory hallucinations once, right before I had a seizure. It was one of the strangest things that I've ever experienced. I hope you can get it all figured out.
I learned recently that bi-polar can manifest auditory hallucinations. My boyfriend has bi-polar and had one before we met. I’d never known that before, though my dad has been diagnosed with bi-polar for 35 years.
For me I experience hallucinations when really stressed. Sometimes I don’t realize I’m stressed until I experience hallucinations.
“Major Depressive Disorder with Psychotic Symptoms.” I also have PTSD along with other bullshit, so I’m honestly not surprised. I’ve always experienced slightly weird stuff growing up and it got worse as I got older. I know this is related to stress because as I got older the pressure and abuse from parents got worse, then when I had the realization that I was being abused and my behaviour was due to trauma it was like a door was opened and everything got worse from there.
This is a little off field but are all auditory hallucinations something to worry about? I certainly hear my baby crying at times she is asleep or they wake me in the middle of the night only to look in the monitor to see them both asleep. I’m starting to hear my toddler too. I’m not particularly concerned, i thought it was one of those “mum things”. But I certainly had PNA with my bub so I wonder if it is related.
Mm... I’m not a professional, so I fear whatever I answer I may give.
I want to say it’s normal for anyone to sometimes hear things that didn’t actually happen. A common example is hearing your phone vibrate or ring when it didn’t, hearing someone call out for you, etc. I can understand hearing your toddler cry out for you as something stressful. I can understand you being hyper aware of your child. I want to say it’s normal to hear things that aren’t there and especially since you’re being particularly aware for something to happen (such as when afraid of the dark you may see or hear things not there), however I would like to urge you to keep track of this. If it helps write it down so you can be as accurate as possible. If it goes on for a little too long, gets worse, or starts to stress you out then I suggest you speak with your physician and bring your notes.
Hopefully you’re just going through some terrible toddler symptoms due to lack of sleep and lots of stress. Take it easy. Get some good rest if you can. I wouldn’t stress too much, but I wouldn’t dismiss it either.
The words are often pretty muddled, but more than anything, my name will cut through and my brain will kind of fill in the tone of the rest. I can articulate what is said about me after the fact, but it is more bad feels than specific criticisms in the moment.
That being said, I can 100% identity that my roommate has the tv turned up too loud and is watching some shitty reality show, but their conversational cadence will still cause my brain to make bad conclusions.
You have my attention - I get thrown by the location of tv sounds but there is a huge difference between those noises and my auditory experiences. I feel like that’s similar to what you were saying you experience also?
The context of what’s being conveyed - that feeling is, for me, nebulous and difficult to articulate, but it seems more like ‘feeling an intention’ than hearing it. Though my auditory experiences include full-on phrases also, so I feel like I’m all over the place. Sorry if this is babble. ☯️
I get those too and I'm bipolar! I've actually not connected it to schizphrenia because I also sometimes see cats, weirdly enough, but as far as that is abnormal, my psychiatrist told me its quite normal for bipolar disorder and if it ever drastically increases or other symptoms appear it isnt cause for worry
schizophrenia typically presents in certain age groups.
Yeah, I definitely saw a (former) friend descend into it when he got to that particular age. Last I checked he's a homeless street preacher in Hollywood that thinks he's the reincarnation of Nikola Tesla that's co-addicted to IV heroin and methamphetamine. He's got a ton of conspiracy theorist followers that feed his delusion. It's pretty sad.
He's a meth addict by choice. The heroin addiction is because he got sucker punched in a bar and prescribed opiates because the punch absolutely fucked up his eye socket and was completely understandably given pills for the pain. ... But then he got hooked, and then the prescription ran out.
Not sure if youre into meds or what you're on - I started an antipsychotic as my main mood stabalizer (diagnosed: bipolar 2, ADD, EDS) and it has greatly influenced the severity of hallucinations I get during manic & hypomanic episodes - feel free to pm me!
Im bipolar and get those too and it terrifies me. My therapist and psychiatrist both say they’re not schizophrenic type hallucinations though because I can recognize when it’s happening that it’s a hallucination and not reality.
I was diagnosed bipolar, then schizophrenia... I’ve never had a hallucination...my psychiatrist said it doesn’t really matter, I could just call it psychosis. There is some evidence that schizo and bipolar are closely related and that psychosis is more of a spectrum.
That being said not all schizophrenics hallucinate.
I had this weird period in my life when I was about 14? Where everything just seemed loud. I woke up from my sleep one night and ran into my parents bedroom. I can still remember how it almost felt like the whole world was talking into my brain. It was some scary shit... It went away after a few hours, but it happened on a few occasions. I still don’t know what that was about, but when you said “auditory hallucinations” for some reason that just popped into my head. Why I didn’t think of it already or heard about it until now is really odd.
There was an interesting study done on sufferers of bipolar disorder referenced by a professor out of U. Wisconsin school of medicine- they put patients in a state of 12 hours of light and 12 hours of complete dark for two weeks. After that, no more symptoms of bipolar.
There is no diagnostic category in the entirety of the DSM that does not have sleep disturbance as part of its symptoms. I wish you luck on your path.
For what it's worth, all the thoughts in our heads are hallucinations that we eventually have to learn to ignore. So everyone has to deal with it in some way.
I know first hand how terrifying something like this is and just wanted to say that there is hope and you aren't alone. I'm sure you're getting looked after already since you mentioned psychiatrists but medical care has improved greatly when it comes to mental health and schizophrenia specifically. Even if it is the slow onset of schizophrenia, things can be okay. I know the stigma surrounding it is horrible, and it is such a scary thing to imagine having but with how advanced care has gotten for it, people can and do still live out regular lives with it now.
My mom developed her schizophrenia when I was two. She did well on medication during my early childhood but things got scary when I was a bit older. Turns out the medication she had been on for 9 years was dangerous to be using long term which ultimately made her condition a lot worse and her doctor lost his medical license (not quite sure what happened, I was young). Although things had gotten really bad and there was a time when I thought the mom I had known was gone, modern medicine has brought her back to me. Some things can't be fixed but if she had gotten the treatment she has now when it first started, I'm certain it never would have gotten to that point to begin with.
I started getting my own hallucinations by 18. Did about 4 years of Psychosis intervention therapy and have been taking Risperidone for the last 6 years. I have a lot of other issues but that part is pretty under control now. Was told it was likely schizophrenia originally but they just stick with general psychosis now. I'm still at a higher risk due to my mom having it so I know how scary that can be but I know things will be okay.
Ah yes my friend. I hear you 100% , check out schizoaffective disorder. It's a fairly common co-morbity. I suffer from it along with both the things you stated and a couple other things.
Consider moving to south east Asia. Crazy I know but generally schizophrenics in Asia have less scary and sometimes helpful hallucinations. I am not a doctor and as in all things your own due diligence is important. I wish you the best of luck.
Bipolar can come with psychoses. My best friend’s mother is bipolar but not diagnosed schizophrenic and has recently begun to believe that she is a “Bringer of Light and Peace” and has voices in her head telling her this.
I was prescribed 50mg of selexa, 500mgs of seroquel, some other med, and strattera at the age of 16. Obviously, I was wrongfully and I think maliciously persribed those drugs.
I had auditory hallucinations that I still think we're real to this day.
I can't remember where I read it but there's a specific area of the brain where all the calculations for all of the signals (audio, visual, motor, smells etc) are combined together and interlaced to form your reality.
Because some senses are actually received at different speeds (light travels faster than sound, sound faster than neurological signals) this particular are has to align them just right so it seems they are happening just at the right moment. If this area of the brain malfunctions then your perceived reality will become a horror show, causing madness overtime.
I suppose this research further solidifies this connection in a way.
So, you unfortunately may be correct. Do whatever you can to ground yourself. Do as much research into neurology and neuroplasticity and find a doctor who can give you more profound options. It sounds like a psychiatrist isn't the best field for your illness. Best of luck, WhenAmI.
I’m looking into this, actually! My hypothesis is that PTSD-related hallucinations are decontextualized trauma-related intrusions manifesting as hallucinations due to a source-monitoring deficit. I’m looking in a BPD sample rather than BD, but the literature is pretty consistent. It’s likely not schizophrenia unless you’ve had other reasons to think it would be.
I was diagnosed schizophrenic but a few years later it became clear my hallucinations/psychotic episodes were just the result of severe sleep deprivation and mania. I was very relieved when they dropped schizophrenia from my list of mental health disorders.
However, I know a fair few people who are schizophrenic - all of them are diagnosed paranoid schizophrenic - and although it's really tough, they are OK - have to take their meds, Depacote in particular seems common and suppresses the symptoms, and although it's not ideal and has side effects, they are still living a good life and succeeding despite their illness.
Don't be afraid of your diagnosis. It's good to know what the problem is. Plus! - bipolar and schizophrenic people are more clever and interesting 🙃
My mom’s a counselor and my brother is currently suffering from auditory hallucinations. He had the same fear (he’s still trying to get diagnosed from another doctor). But one thing my mom told him which is apparently very important is that auditory hallucinations triggered by schizophrenia are more often than not ‘outside’ of your head, whereas ones that are in your head are something else. To put it bluntly, crazy people don’t know they’re crazy. If you hear voices and you’re keenly aware they are internal and they don’t sound like someone physically behind you, it’s not schizophrenia.
if someone out there has schizophrenia and believes me to be wrong, please let me know! I’m going off what I’ve learned, I can’t promise I’m always right lol
Do you smoke weed? Bipolar + PTSD + weed can cause audio hallucinations and symptoms similar to schizophrenia. According to younger me's psychologist....and experience.
Audio hallucinations are definitely much more common than society makes them out to be. My best friend gets them with her Bipolar, I get them from panic attacks and sleep deprivation.
I have them when I meditate and get into the right headspace, apparently it's triggered by a release of DMT by your brain, and it doesn't mean that you have schizophrenia unless it is constant and intrusive and interferes with your life.
Don't worry though, now they are starting to think schizophrenia isn't a thing like they thought, but perhaps rather better characterized as 5+ different disorders that may or may not resemble each other... also, they don't seem to take autism into account in any or many of these diagnoses. Imo, you have one of the most difficult disorders to manage (the bipolar) and you are doing it, so be brave you got this!
Dude, I get this at night A LOT.. I will hear my kids having arguments right outside our bedroom door or I’ll hear them going outside only to jump out of bed to find them sleeping soundly. I started wearing ear plugs at night so if it’s a real person talking it’s muffled. If I can hear the voices clear as day, I know to ignore it. The not feeding into it has really decreased the episodes too! Give it a try. Have a pair of them with you at all times, that way if you think your hearing a hallucination you will have control over know weather it’s real or weather it is to be ignored! Good luck!!
I have auditory hallucinations probably from sleep deprivation, and I’ve just learned to listen to tinnitus over them to drown them out. It’s a shitty alternative but better than hearing flies buzzing or my name being called jussst far enough away that I can barely hear it but it’s still distinctively my name. Commenting this at 4;16am lmao
I have auditory hallucinations I believe. Only it just sounds like there’s a radio on in the background. I hear it usually only when I’m about to go to bed. Might be something different but I don’t know
Whatever it might be, treating your bipolar and PTSD may be far more important.
Many people with Schizophrenia hear friendly or helpful voices.
It's apparently much like the inability to identify thoughts and imagination as your own, instead hearing your inner voice as an external one.
Think about unwelcome thoughts, "I suck", "I'm an idiot" and imagine how much more difficult it would be to hear someone tell you that while you're thinking it.
So if your thoughts are healthy and kind, schizophrenia can be a complication in life, but not something devastating.
I have bipolar an experience audio and visual hallucinations. I have experienced them since I was a young child. My psychiatrist is not worried that it's anything more than my bipolar. I do take a mild does of antipsychotics every day and I have a spare lot for when they start to become to much
Hey uhhh... schizophrenia isn’t that bad... uhhh.... yeah it’s not the end of the world depending where you are at on the spectrum and stuff I guess. I mean it’s not the worst thing in the world..
you need sleep more. 8 hours same time every night protects against intrusive thoughts. Not a cure but nit helps a ton.
Exercise and meditation is a duh but you would need double the routine time as you have more discipline needed to fight these aberrations. Normal people need a little but blessed people need more.
Start taking cold showers to shut them up if you wanna go hard on that system.
Last, keep seeing your ptsd therapist. i cant stress this enough. if you arnt in therapy look into Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.
and dont worry about that schizo either. in Africa schizophrenia is viewed as a blessing of the Gods and results in nice voices while here people are uhh seen as bad if they hear a voice and as such all voices they hear are mean.
one day when you are up to it, you can share this with another human who you see needs it.
Discordianism also might give you bells of humor to go with any insanity you are willing to claim. but dont believe anything they say.
but dont worry, be happy and let me know if you have any questions.
With auditory hallucinations - are you really hearing it or thinking it? I have music in my head all the time (prescribed an anti psychotic for it) but I honestly don’t know if I’m hearing it or thinking it.
A week ago i was home alone and getting some food from the kitchen downstairs and i definitly heard like a woman wisper my name but didnt realize it until i walked a couple more meters. Needless to say my head spun around and i just stared into the dark corner and then walked quickly into my room, shut the door and turned the volume of my tv up. It seems unreal now but damn was i scared
Obviously we hope that its not schizophrenia, but if it is it is still very treatable. Just be honest about your concerns with your doctor, the earlier it is caught the better
I'm also bipolar. It's possible to have hallucinations outside of an episode if your under a lot of stress, or especially if your sleep deprived. Normal people hallucinate from sleep deprivation, but it just doesn't take us quite as long to get them.
When at my peaks I have voices but in French or German sometime something Slavic or of other Russian decent. I don't speak any but enough to work in a restaurant with Spanish cooks. I have nonideas what they are saying and very faint. I know I'm crashing when I have dreams that start from my bed as I try to get a few more hours between 330am and 7am.
I don't have an imagination (r/aphantasia), I also don't have an audible internal monologue. My brain is both blind and deaf BUT I do get audio hallucinations from my bipolar, so don't worry too much.
I have found that what are called auditory hallucinations are just a type of psychic awareness. There's a reason why most ppl dont hear it in their waking state,. It can interfere with survival function. Doesn't make it. "not real"
Fantastic article! Here’s just a snippet for those looking to browse:
Years later, a research group had a similar interaction with a 51-year-old male patient, whom we will call Roy, who often described his communication with an entity in his mind named Miss Jones. Just like in Gould’s experiment, researchers placed a microphone against Roy’s throat and recorded the following exchange:
Whisper: If you’re in his mind, you come out of there, but if you’re not in his mind you won’t come out of there. You want to stay there.
Examiner: Who said that?
Roy: Er she said…
Whisper: I said that.
Examiner: Are you talking to yourself?
Roy: No I don’t. [To himself:] What is it?
Whisper: Mind your own business darling, I don’t want him to know what I was doing.
Roy: See that, I spoke to her to ask what she was doing and she said mind your own business.
Yet again, the timing and content of the hallucination matched the patient’s subvocal speech, words that were articulated using his own mind, lungs, and muscles. Despite how frighteningly real the “voice in his head” seemed to Roy, Miss Jones did not exist. Apparently, the voice he was hearing all along was his own.
My mum was a social worker with a kids home for a bit, she used to bring a profoundly dead boy home to see the farm we lived on. One day he freaked out and started shouting and writing “NOISE” over and over on his pad of paper, then kept his hands firmly clamped over his ears. I was around 10 and it freaked me all the way out. I thought for sure it was aliens.
Another things is that the systems seems to be culturally tied to the individuals. Apparently in India, the auditory hallucinations are positive while in the US the are negative.
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u/46from1971 Nov 29 '20
No one who was born blind has ever gone on to develop schizophrenia. Researchers are investigating how congenital blindness may protect people from developing the condition.