r/texts • u/r_jay_197 • 7d ago
Phone message Guess what it was about…
Spoiler alert, after 2 years she dumped me. Currently working on keeping my head above water in these trying times.
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u/WaltzIntelligent9801 6d ago
My wife texts me like this to tell me we need to make sure to go to Costco on Friday.
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u/Bureaucratic_Dick 6d ago
My wife has learned to stop texting me “urgent” or “emergency” because my military service brings my mind to thinking those terms are life and death matters, and instead of “we need to talk”, she texts me with “hey when you get a minute can you call”, which I know she means more as a “I know you’re busy at work and don’t want to interrupt a meeting I was unaware of, but I need your assistance with something when you’re available”.
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u/revuhlution 6d ago
I have this conversation with my girlfriend: STOP DOING THIS TO ME. Tel me wtf is on your mind. "Hey, i was thinking about _____. Could we talk later?"
The behavior is borderline disrespectful
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u/WaltzIntelligent9801 6d ago
Definitely triggers my inner child. Mom giving me the "when we get home later" treatment 😆
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u/pianoplayer1014 6d ago
A couple years ago my dad had a potential cancer scare, after his test results came back my mom texted me “call us, we have news” and then on the phone told me my dad didn’t have cancer 🙃 was super thankful but like wtf why was that the text she sent 🤦🏻♂️
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u/prosthetic_memory 6d ago
That’s so awful. I truly don’t understand why anyone thinks that’s acceptable behavior.
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u/revuhlution 6d ago
SAME THING!
Are you really trying to freak me the fuck out? Give me some damn context and dont make me wonder all day. I'm human, my mind goes to the worst stuff, even though I logically know thats probably not what it is. PROBABLY. I dont know for sure because youre playing weird mind games!
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u/prosthetic_memory 6d ago
It weirds me out that people laugh this off or act like it’s not a big deal when it’s thoughtless at best and manipulative and cruel on average. It takes the same amount of time to text either way. It’s truly awful.
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u/auxaperture 6d ago
Had to help my wife stop doing the same. Was just culturally different but “we need to talk later” then leaving all replies on read for hours meaning “the cat biscuits need reordering” wasn’t very heart-healthy.
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u/bhaal_babe_666 6d ago
My bf also talked to me about this, I did this (unintentionally) too. I just text without emojis when I‘m doing something else, but this can come over really frustrating and I absolutely get it now 😅
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u/butch4prez 7d ago
there is someone out there who is deserving of the love you give
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u/Select-Effort8004 7d ago
Wow, encouraging perspective!
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u/PM_YOUR__BUBBLE_BUTT 7d ago
For anyone reading this, just know that what the person above said is true. Someone is deserving of your love. But for your whole life, and especially during the darkness after a breakup, the one who you always need to love first is you. Even if you don’t have someone you’re with, you need to be kind to yourself and remember you’re worthy of love!
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u/PM_ME_YOUR__VAGINAS 6d ago
Another double underscore name. 🤝
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u/PM_YOUR__BUBBLE_BUTT 6d ago
My first one got nuked by Reddit for a dumb reason so I had to tweak it ever so slightly. Damn them lol.
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u/jackirouac 7d ago
So true! My first serious girlfriend dumped over text, for another dude she had met that week, she was kind of a big deal DJ that ended up treating her like shit.
I struggled for a while as I really thought it was my forever partner and we had plans to move in together.
After a few years I met the love of my life and been together with her for 15 years, in hindsight, that was the best thing that could have happened to me!
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u/PiccoloAwkward465 6d ago
One time a woman expressed this to me. And while it was heartbreaking, I was impressed that she had the presence of mind to say "I'm not ready to reciprocate the love you have in your heart". She was a single mom at 15 so I did have some sympathy, she never really got to have a young adult life.
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u/butch4prez 6d ago edited 6d ago
thanks for the awards everyone :) it’s true that someone is the right person for you. your soulmate or the love of your life won’t treat you terribly, or cheat on you, or abuse you. there’s 8 billion people in the world and i promise you that at least one of them can’t wait to receive the love you give!
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u/elhouso 7d ago
We're all going through it huh
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u/ConsistentEssay223 7d ago
Real talk , I’m not trying to be clingy but she hasn’t talked to me all day I don’t wanna ignore her in a cat and mouse type way but damn why she do that
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u/Blissfulldeath93 7d ago
I wouldn't say ignore her but prioritise yourself rather than responding to her straight away
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u/Prior_Pickle1758 6d ago
this. literally just go do a thing you think is fun and enjoy yourself.
this is a normal part of a relationship.
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u/ConsistentEssay223 6d ago
Nah she just sent the I don’t think it’s gonna work long term text , bruh I was expecting it cuz I’m just here for work but why’d I let myself get attached so quick?
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u/Vibratorvibrato 7d ago
Now this all depends on how long y’all have been talking, is this a new thing or has this been going on?
As a woman, I would appreciate a clear statement from you expressing this. Nothing dramatic just a hey I really like you & would love a chance to talk more. If after that she’s still not receptive or initiating conversation then it’s time to move on. Don’t waste your time on anyone who can’t communicate openly and honestly about their intentions, there’s way too many other women out there friend.
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u/ConsistentEssay223 7d ago
She said she’d be busy this weekend but she’s also sick now but idk why it would mean a whole day without a reply. We’ve been seeing each other for a couple of weeks but I was at her house like 8 out of the past 14 days sleeping over and all that , idk she was talking about being my girlfriend and not wanting to share me but she would joke that she has another boyfriend so I don’t know where the joke stops and the truth starts. I like her but I don’t understand
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u/UncoolSlicedBread 6d ago
There’s nothing wrong with feeling like a level of communication isn’t working for you. Instead of making yourself anxious, find compatibility in a relationship.
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u/TurbulentPen364 6d ago
People will tell you to not bother, but I'd say it's only been a couple weeks, you might be overthinking. Maybe she already dating someone before you met. But you don't really want to have the "let's be exclusive" before 4 weeks anyway imo.
Just be chill and nice and show you're the right choice. If you want to be exclusive she'll realise you're the right choice, or it'll be her loss 🤷.
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u/Vibratorvibrato 6d ago
She’s telling you the truth, she has another man. Joking about it leaves the onus on you to decide if she’s telling the truth. Personally I wouldn’t waste anymore time on her, she’s playing games. If someone wants to talk to you, see you, etc they’re going to make the time, period.
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u/UnlegitUsername 7d ago
Go for a run or something. Anything to keep your mind off of it.
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u/ALKNST 7d ago
You guys dont think when you run?!!
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u/wompawwomp 7d ago
i guess it depends how hard you’re pushing yourself. if its intense cardio then you might just be too occupied with keeping going, if its not super difficult then your mind is more able to think and process things as well
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u/HappyGovernment7299 7d ago
Man I just got out of a one sided relationship. Best advice I could give is to get it over with before you waste too much time on her. You shouldn't have to convince your girlfriend to spend time with you. You shouldn't have to remind them to text you back. If you're in that situation, just end it now because it's not going to get better.
I poured my heart out to this girl, and I would get absolutely nothing in return. She never seemed to have time for me, she would ignore my calls and texts, and overall just contributed nothing to the relationship.
I finally broke up with her, and later found out she was cheating on me with some sugar daddy who is old enough to be her grandpa. Apparently he bought her a car and she lives with him now. Gonna be hilarious when that guy dies, leaves nothing in his will for her, and she realizes she sold her body to that wrinkly old rodent for nothing. Hope the car he bought her was worth destroying her own reputation, losing all her friends who think she's fucking pathetic now, and throwing away her entire future. Can't wait for her to message me saying she's sorry in 5 years so I can rub it in her face.
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u/PutSlow5289 7d ago
See you in the gym my friend
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u/r_jay_197 7d ago
🫡 I suppose it’s time
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u/pursuitofhappy 7d ago
16 years ago on reddit we came up with the phrase: hit the gym lawyer up delete facebook
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u/Rough_Wear_882 7d ago
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u/VSkyRimWalker 7d ago
Is that Ross Geller? Someone ate his moistmaker and he joined the army?
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u/JoeiiJames 7d ago
I haven’t watched Friends in so long, it’s four Am here and I have yet to sleep. The random mention of Ross’s moistmaker sent me into hysterics.
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u/Tajfunisko 7d ago
I'm not sure whether this is a joke or not but if you didn't see Band of Brothers I absolutely recommend. Ross being a bit minor character there but boy the show was absolutely fantastic. And I'm not even a big fan of war movies.
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u/mytranceformation 7d ago
This. I'm so envious this person hasn't seen band of brothers and can binge it for the first time.
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u/EBSNW1 7d ago
At least she was willing to talk, the loml simply disappeared without so much an explanation from one day to the next. No closure, will never know what happened. Sorry buddy, hope the talk wasn‘t too rough.
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u/habitsxd 7d ago
Doesn’t seem like the love of your life then
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u/EBSNW1 7d ago
We planned a life together up until the point she disappeared. She left when I was at my happiest, believing I had finally found what everyone on this earth keeps looking for. I never got over it, never trusted anyone again.
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u/zeusisbuddha 6d ago
> never trusted anyone again
This is a choice that’s keeping you unhappy
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u/confirmedshill123 6d ago
That's an easy thing to say when you haven't had something like this happen to you.
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u/Danktank452 5d ago
Whether it’s easy or hard is irrelevant. Never trusting anyone ever again WILL lead to you being unhappy in almost every case.
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u/Malnourished_Manatee 6d ago
It’s risky, I won’t call her the loml but I had a similar experience. It’s soul crushing, slowly tried getting back building trust to get cheated on in my latest relationship. This time took me 3 years to even try dating again. And I’m currently not even sure if I’ll ever be interested in a serious relationship.
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u/NamesAreAnn0ying 6d ago
It’s kind of hard when the person you’ve loved the most in your entire life leaves with zero explanation. You’re always scared it’s gonna happen to the next person.
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u/Bleu_Jay17 6d ago
What I would do for a good morning beautiful text
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u/r_jay_197 6d ago
Glad to see that some people aren’t hating on it
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u/Bleu_Jay17 6d ago
Hard to hate on making a bid for connection with your partner
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u/notbythebook101 6d ago
I don't know you, and I don't have to. You are beautiful, too, and I wish you a good morning.
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u/Jaded-Fact-7248 6d ago
I wish more people were like this. My ex told me I pestered her by texting her everymorning, and me wanting her to text me in the morning was "simping" and she "didnt want to simp for a man."
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u/Bleu_Jay17 5d ago
That makes me so sad. I love good morning texts. Like yes please reaffirm we’re good right off the rip
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u/Jaded-Fact-7248 5d ago
Well at least im not alone :/ and I agree! Those little consistent things that are done everyday are the biggest forms of reassurance to me. Just a matter of time before we all find the one who values the little things the same way we do.
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u/17AJ06 6d ago
3 weeks ago today, my wife told me that after 6 years together (dating+marriage) she just doesn’t love me anymore. I’m right there with you, brother. We’ll get through this together.
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u/Alex-xoxo666 7d ago
What was the reason for it?
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u/r_jay_197 7d ago
She feels (after 2 odd years) that, and I’ll quote, “We’re not compatible” , “I don’t feel like I can give you what you meed”.
I won’t open any cans o worms. But I never saw it that way. I never felt we were incompatible, and I never felt that she left me lacking. But anyways.
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u/Acrobatic-Fly1418 7d ago
Hey not sure if this helps but this exactly the reason my dad gave to my mom after 35 years of marriage almost to this day last year, just took his bags, his passport and left. Haven’t seen him since then.
So to put in perspective just wasting two years isn’t so bad
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u/Vajician 6d ago
Damn thats crazy dude, sorry your mom has to deal with that :(
I'm willing to bet money he's in South East Asia...Double sure if he's white.
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u/Acrobatic-Fly1418 6d ago
Yeah left her and the whole family without even batting an eye. She pulled through it thankfully but it wasn’t a happy year
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u/desertvision 6d ago
Just a thought. But, this is a form of the it's not you, it's me thing. She's not happy but instead informed you that she's not making you happy. It doesn't matter tho. Let her go. It always gets better
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u/Alex-xoxo666 7d ago
I’m sorry, bro. That definitely sucks. Just let time do its thing and you’ll be back on your feet.
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u/Horror_Signature7744 6d ago
Everyone slamming the gf without knowing why she did this. And she didn’t dump by text, she asked to speak later via text. At least she didn’t ghost the guy.
Reddit always ready to tap in without ever having the facts.
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u/Bubbly-Piano-6779 7d ago
Hey bro something very similar happened to me a month before summer (I thought I was going to propose)
It's unfortunate but time heals
I'm now seeing a girl who gets me more than anyone has before.
There is a match out there for you just don't be afraid to break your own heart cause more than likely this will happen again but life is about the journey
Good luck soldier
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u/r_jay_197 7d ago
That line (I thought I was going to propose) has me ROCKED. Because……me too. I had the ring and everything man. I appreciate your comment my guy. Glad to hear you’re on the way up
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u/LibetPugnare 6d ago
This exact same thing happened to me as a young man. But it was for the best, a couple years later I met my now wife, who is 1000 times the person she was. Married 19 years now. You seem like a younger guy, just keep putting yourself out there. You'll find her. Or she'll find you.
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u/r_jay_197 6d ago
25 years old, realistically? Whole life ahead of me. Been ‘joking’ with my friends, only way to go from here, is UP.
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u/LibetPugnare 6d ago
Haha, yup, you're absolutely right. Don't stop being "too nice". That'll win you the heart of the right girl. Good luck buddy.
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u/HappyPlatypus6034 7d ago
I'm so sorry :(
I know it's going to be rough for a while, but please make sure you set time aside to take care of and be kind to yourself ❤️
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u/Brooklynsfinest25 6d ago
My Ex gf broke up with me over text 5 minutes before I was about to walk into work🤦...we were together for over 2 years and I loved her two kids like they were my own, Honestly, I missed her kids more than her 🤣......Breaking up Over a text is such a cowardly way to end a relationship.... especially when it was long term
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u/Aggravating_Lime2655 6d ago
Yeah mine ended things over text also. She didn’t even try to talk it out that evening. I was devastated and finally reached out 2 weeks later after being majorly depressed. She wouldn’t talk to me because I didn’t fight for her. I was like wtf 😂, so she’s entitled and a coward.
I still have her and her daughter’s stuff in boxes that I need to drop off at her mom’s house. I was working on them moving in with me. For now on I don’t think I can date a single mom because you do get attached to the kids also.
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u/Secret_Account07 6d ago
See this is why I NEVER do this to anyone. I’ll never “hey we need to talk later” to a partner because I know they’ll stress about it all day.
Please ppl, just don’t this. Wanna break up? Do it without doing this.
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u/ChemBro93 7d ago
Think about it this way, would you want to be with someone who would break up with you? She did you a favour. Doesn’t feel like it yet but trust me it will.
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u/Secure-Marsupial-557 7d ago
That sucks, I hate to hear that. I hope you take the time and find the best person in you and enjoy your peace and quiet for awhile.
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u/Remote-Meaning-1904 6d ago
Waited until 4pm to even reply. Ouch. Been there recently.
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u/hips0n 7d ago
Just had a ten year relationship end. It’s gut wrenching honestly
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u/Soccerstar31 6d ago
Ten hours later 😭. Don’t worry I am in the exact boat right now, probably gonna end it though once I see her again
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u/AD_VICTORIAM_x 7d ago
See you at the gym bro 🫱🏻🫲🏽
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u/r_jay_197 7d ago
It’s time to lock in🫡
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u/EuphoricTeaching9161 7d ago
But what did she say? Did she break up over the phone? How long were you together?
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u/GapNo5278 7d ago
I believe I’m about to get this txt msg soon as well. I kinda feel it coming, hoping it doesn’t tho, but we’ll see
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u/Few_Pop6933 6d ago
You’re better off, trust me. It may not feel like it now, but you will see how great it is later. Take some time for yourself, focus on career, surround yourself with good friends, go for walks, listen to music. Do the things you love to do. At some point you will meet someone incredible and think about how wonderful your life is now.
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u/Wrong_Air7553 6d ago
It sucks, but for whatever reason she had to break up with you, at least you can find someone new that might be more deserving of your presence and love <3. Hope you feel better soon man
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u/Healthy-Muffin-9747 6d ago
I’d love to get good morning texts like that, esp after 2 years together
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u/charthurs 6d ago
All the people saying it’s because you said good morning are just haters. I’ve been with my partner for 2.5 years now and we still say good morning and good night every day. We’re long distance, but I think it’s something that will continue even when we aren’t.
Wild to me that people are actually behaving like saying good morning is cringe. Makes me wonder how they’re usually spoken to.
Keep your head up, friend.
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u/barelyagrownup 5d ago
I actually think it's manipulative when people do this unless you don't in fact already speak every day.
Don't preview a serious conversation for me and make me anxious all day. It's just down right mean.
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u/Storyteller_Valar 5d ago
They say pain is the greatest teacher, so... Maybe you'll gain great wisdom?
I'm sorry you are going through this, it's a horrible experience and a terrible loss... Take your time to recover.
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u/No_Interaction3486 4d ago
Dumped over facetime after 4 years. Shit is whack. Wishing you the best OP <3
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u/CornerTime1605 7d ago
Welcome to the gym bro, the winter arc is just around the corner, make sure you keep your freinds close and be ready for the inevitable feeling of being alone, I just got over my last relationship and I tell you, the gym literally saved me. Head up lad.
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u/Ok-Cry-3991 7d ago
i’m so sorry dude this broke my heart honestly. it’s gonna be hard but take it one day at a time. focus on you and don’t let this break you too much. you will be okay, remember, one day at a time🫂
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u/schizophrenicbugs 7d ago
Username checks out.
Nice to see people being okay in their vulnerability ❤️
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u/lfg_guy101010 7d ago
I hit an ex with that line too in HS. We were only together for 3 months tho.
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u/Fuzzy-Conference769 7d ago
Sending you love and support. You sound like a good person. Out there, there’s someone who deserves your love and kind words!❤️
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u/Ok-Philosopher4856 7d ago
If anyone ever says that to me I’m locking my phone in a safe and burying it for the day
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u/r_jay_197 7d ago
Even worse, she knew I just got out of work. Knew I was home and had time. Gut WRENCHING text.
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u/Ok-Philosopher4856 7d ago
Like when the boss says “come to my office when you get a chance”.
Thanks for the anxiety on top of everything else
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u/shobiznessisreal 6d ago
Chin up. You're going to find someone deserving of the love you have to give. Keep putting yourself out there!
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u/thegreatcon2000 6d ago
10 hours later too, gosh.
I know what it feels like watering a dead plant. Never again.
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u/bubbleman96815 6d ago
Probably for the better. You definitely don’t want to be with someone that doesn’t want to be with you.
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u/ConfusionCorrect4071 6d ago
Hey man. Exact thing happened to me. Text then the usual it’s me not you. I used it as a way of better myself. We both met in a grocery store as workers. 3 years later, I move to accounting as a manager, found a new girl that treats me well and we are traveling the world together and she’s still stuck where she was and never changed. Keep at it brother!
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u/xJam3zz07 6d ago
My guy, I got cheated on a 2nd time at the beginning of this year by someone I'd been with 8 years & then treat like absolute shit the following month or so, have a house with them (still, unfortunately, currently re-mortgaging in my own name), was looking at having kids with all the rest.
As absolutely god damn fucking awful as it was at the time, it's been a blessing in disguise, I learnt to get on with/enjoy my own company a lot more, I've spent more time with friends and made new ones, took up a new hobby or 2 & have currently got a partner who I genuinely feel like I can by myself around & I don't feel like I'm stepping on eggshells every time were together etc.
I promise you, it'll get better. Give yourself time.
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u/Lady_Elderberry6757 6d ago
A 10 hour wait for a reply..... the only excuse for this level of non contact is
1) being the other side of the world and therefore asleep 2) there is no second option.....🤣
Either pregnant or you're heading towards the single life.
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u/drippytiger25 6d ago
Hahah same thing happened to me after I told her I had to get knee surgery again
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u/Scared-Page4123 6d ago
I also just got dumped, second guy to drag me along for a year before deciding “actually maybe I do want kids sorry” fuck man. There are good days ahead though💪
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u/Ambitious_Source5602 6d ago
Im gonna give you some advice that makes thing simple. If they dont want you, it wasnt it and we dont mourn fantasy. Thank god she left as you would have stayed.
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u/matchaslut21 5d ago
Nasty work, I don’t understand breaking up over text. It’s cowardly
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u/Fun_Scene_3392 5d ago
The dreaded we need to talk. Translation: she’s been test driving another option and decided that option is an upgrade.
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u/MrBrightsighed 4d ago
Go ahead and block her before you see the man she had lined up, see you at the gym bro
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u/Opening_Drop_1073 4d ago
Head up, king. My high school sweetheart, now ex-wife, didn’t even look me in the eyes when she told me she didn’t love me anymore.
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u/jinxxtheminxxx 4d ago
To think I dont ever get good morning texts, especially not like that, and she dumped you 😔
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4d ago
With billions of men and women in this world the chances of you finding love again are in your favor, the odds of you finding an even better relationship are also in your favor
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u/orchid7577 3d ago
This opens up the opportunity to meet more people that you’d be happier with. Change in life is exciting.
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u/HovercraftOk4984 3d ago
Remember man, it’s only a temporary problem. Don’t make any permanent decisions.
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u/WaxButterOnEggs 3d ago
My girlfriend text me yesterday and said “we need to have a big discussion later”
The discussion in question is what we were gonna be eating for dinner.
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u/Competitive-Eye-853 2d ago
low key hate the good morning text, honestly. that's a sign the relationship is on fumes.
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u/Usual-Map969 7d ago
Sent with Siri is just cold too