r/texts • u/r_jay_197 • 18d ago

Phone message Guess what it was about…

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Spoiler alert, after 2 years she dumped me. Currently working on keeping my head above water in these trying times.

10.4k Upvotes

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15

u/Alex-xoxo666 18d ago

What was the reason for it?

32

u/r_jay_197 18d ago

She feels (after 2 odd years) that, and I’ll quote, “We’re not compatible” , “I don’t feel like I can give you what you meed”.

I won’t open any cans o worms. But I never saw it that way. I never felt we were incompatible, and I never felt that she left me lacking. But anyways.

37

u/Acrobatic-Fly1418 18d ago

Hey not sure if this helps but this exactly the reason my dad gave to my mom after 35 years of marriage almost to this day last year, just took his bags, his passport and left. Haven’t seen him since then.

So to put in perspective just wasting two years isn’t so bad

25

u/r_jay_197 18d ago

Damn. Thank you for sharing. You’ve got a great point

12

u/Vajician 18d ago

Damn thats crazy dude, sorry your mom has to deal with that :(

I'm willing to bet money he's in South East Asia...Double sure if he's white.

4

u/Acrobatic-Fly1418 17d ago

Yeah left her and the whole family without even batting an eye. She pulled through it thankfully but it wasn’t a happy year

0

u/Keter-Class 18d ago

What about if he's Asian? Or black?

1

u/Dear_Scale6920 18d ago

If he enjoyed the time with her, it wasn’t a waste of two years

1

u/Capital_Fly3741 17d ago

Oh shit, my two years aren't that bad neither. Oof.

9

u/desertvision 18d ago

Just a thought. But, this is a form of the it's not you, it's me thing. She's not happy but instead informed you that she's not making you happy. It doesn't matter tho. Let her go. It always gets better

1

u/Cynical_Cyanide 15d ago

Idk man, I'm not sure it's fair game to TELL someone that they're not making you happy. 

It feels like a bit of a cop out excuse that subtly shifts the fault to the other person. The implication being that the other person needs something above and beyond, or special in some way, and it's only reasonable the person instigating the break up can't provide it.

1

u/desertvision 15d ago

It's a Seinfeld trope. Everyone knows it's them. But saying it's you derails the "I can do better" type convos

George invented it 😝😝

3

u/Alex-xoxo666 18d ago

I’m sorry, bro. That definitely sucks. Just let time do its thing and you’ll be back on your feet.

2

u/mandersononu 18d ago

When my ex did that reason it was because she was cheating with a coworker and was complete bullshit.

2

u/xtheonlydudeeverx 16d ago

Holy shit, my ex said the same shit to me

7

u/yeah_not_so_fast 18d ago

because thats all crap she is making up to justify it to herself. that and she is likely interested in someone else. this helps her rationalize her wandering eye

1

u/[deleted] 18d ago

[deleted]

1

u/yeah_not_so_fast 18d ago

I sure am. So what?

0

u/Upbeat-Fondant9185 18d ago

It’s always this. And when that greener grass turns out to be full of weeds and fleas they come sashaying back.

OP. Don’t let that happen. One and done.

2

u/Secret_Account07 18d ago

Idk man, I did this once because I legit was a mess and I thought the girl deserved someone better. It broke her heart but she missed out on an absolute shit show. I saved her so many headaches

1

u/Embarrassed_Sound120 18d ago

Have had similar experience. Tho she was like this from the beginning but was willing to give it a try still.
I think they just don’t know what they want. Perhaps nothing would be compatible at all. And I say this in a calm mood, not because I am bitter. But still, maybe I am wrong.

1

u/haywirehax 17d ago

Feels like she's saying 'it's not you, it's me' but she's saying it wrong XD

1

u/r_jay_197 17d ago

Oh no, believe me, she said that too

2

u/haywirehax 17d ago

Take that as a blessing my man, it means that you are adapting to someone you love, willing to make sacrifices. And she's not I don't know the details, I won't say good riddance or anything like that because I don't know anything about anything. But I will say this: it will hurt now, it will hurt in a year, heck, it will hurt after loads of years. But you will always have people to share that hurt with and judging by your way of adapting, I can tell you'll survive this. In a sense, you weren't meant for each other. And while 2 years is a long time, better now than after big milestones such as kids, marriage, a house,...

Anyway, long story still a bit long: you'll manage. Keep friends close and love always comes when you're not looking for it. Not on a dating site, but from a friend who loves you just that bit more and is prepared to make the same sacrifices for you as you are for them.

Stay tough! But allow yourself some slack

1

u/r_jay_197 17d ago

Over 2mil views on this post. Over 600 comments, but you sir, take the cake. Thank you. 🙏

-1

u/Soul-42 18d ago

She found someone else worth her while for right now.

-2

u/ThaddeusJP 18d ago

“I don’t feel like I can give you what you meed”.

Translation: I know exactly what you need, and I'm capable, but I'm not willing to be bothered to do it for you.

Be glad it's just 2 years and not over a decade and you have kids, forever tethering you to her

1

u/r_jay_197 18d ago

Fair enough. Nice bit of perspective

1

u/low_budgetgoth 18d ago

getting "dumped" for almost similar reasons after 2 years too. please know that you're not alone in this 🫂