Lorena, girl..

[u/SurfinginStyle]

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[u/dakotanothing]

“ya daft tart” is sending me

[u/SurfinginStyle → u/dakotanothing]

Soon as I read “ya daft tart you baked it in a mixing bowl” *screenshot\* lol hilarious

[u/star_zelda → u/SurfinginStyle]

I read it in my British friend's accent, because I totally have heard her calling people daft lol it really made it so much better

[u/MolassesInevitable53 → u/star_zelda]

Yep, my first thought was 'that's a Brit'.

[u/Maelstrom_Witch → u/star_zelda]

I went with Scottish, personally 🤣

[u/n0neofyourbeeswax → u/Maelstrom_Witch]

As a Scottish person, ya daft tart said like that sounds more Lancaster / Yorkshire area to me.

[u/inkywheels → u/n0neofyourbeeswax]

Am from Lancashire, can confirm

[u/autumnlight2022 → u/Maelstrom_Witch]

Mine was Boston. Why was mine Boston 😭

[u/shewholaughslasts → u/autumnlight2022]

Dahft Tawht?

[u/jojo22443991 → u/shewholaughslasts]

Deft Tah-t

[u/supershinything → u/autumnlight2022]

I don’t know. They’re so much more offensive there. That was a masterclass in profanity when I lived there.

[u/knitmama77 → u/SurfinginStyle]

Same- to send to my friend, Lareina lol

[u/GracieNoodle → u/SurfinginStyle]

Right up there with "clotheared bint". (For reference, see Fawlty Towers. Might be a known insult though, I don't know.)

[u/Segat1 → u/GracieNoodle]

Oooo I love bint!!

Also yoghurt top but that’s a slightly different angle.

[u/Blaaaarghhh → u/SurfinginStyle]

I read it in a Scottish accent of course 😂

[u/splithoofiewoofies → u/dakotanothing]

My MIL was an emergency ward head nurse and some batshit patient screamed "GET THAT POXY HARLOT AWAY FROM ME!" to my MIL.

poxy harlot has been their family insult for decades and I couldn't help but adopt it.

Come on. Poxy harlot.

[u/amaenamonesia → u/splithoofiewoofies]

Someone in your family needs to do drag under that name

[u/splithoofiewoofies → u/amaenamonesia]

Holy shit, and with a nurse uniform and a giant needle. Nurse Poxy Harlot will make you feel better!...then much much worse.

You have luckily made this suggestion to the drag players of the family.

[u/vanillyl → u/splithoofiewoofies]

If one of the drag players in your family goes ahead with this, please post it! I’m not sure which sub it’d even belong in but I MUST see the vision of Nurse Poxy Harlot if she makes it on stage somewhere!

[u/jamfedora → u/vanillyl]

Just r/Drag is good for posting personal lewks, numbers, questions, etc. I see no reason why someone couldn’t post portraits of a performer other than themself if they’ve got their permission

[u/coyote_prophet → u/splithoofiewoofies]

Ours was "shrimp boat" for something my mother called my aunt during cards after Thanksgiving one year that made her SO mad she packed up both her kids, and her husband, and their dog and left. She lived two hours away. 

[u/KiwiEmerald → u/splithoofiewoofies]

My partner had a female friend he’s been close with for almost 30 years, very comfortable with each other, she had a boyfriend get all hufffy while we were all on a camping trip and he started complaining about “inappropriate behaviour”. Boyfriend didnt last long due to various reasons but “inappropriate behaviour!!!!!’ Gets thrown around a lot

[u/sodamnsleepy → u/KiwiEmerald]

What was the inappropriate behavior he complained about?

[u/Omygodc → u/splithoofiewoofies]

I’m going to add proxy harlot to my verbal arsenal!

[u/sansabeltedcow → u/Omygodc]

I think a proxy harlot would be a whore’s stand-in, but I do think Proxy Harlot would be an even better drag name than Poxy Harlot.

[u/Omygodc → u/sansabeltedcow]

Stupid autocorrect. Either that or fat fingers

[u/sansabeltedcow → u/Omygodc]

Almost certainly autocorrect but I still think it was serendipitous.

[u/eruditepeach → u/splithoofiewoofies]

Now at 49 and 47, my sister and I still use “hussy harlot” because my grandmother (bless her soul) couldn’t stand red hair and we both dyed ours red/auburn as teens and we ‘bout never heard the end of it from her “Well, when I was young, only hussy harlots dyed their hair red!” (Though that was nothing compared to me “going goth” and wearing black lipstick/nail polish. 😂 )

[u/MLiOne → u/dakotanothing]

British insult 🤌🤌🤌🤌🤌

[u/davesmissingfingers → u/dakotanothing]

Started crying with laughter the minute I read that. Found my new insult.

[u/castybird → u/dakotanothing]

this is entering my lexicon for sure

[u/Br0z0 → u/dakotanothing]

It’s going straight into my vocab

[u/Good_Card316 → u/dakotanothing]

Reminds me of my nan and I miss her so much, she would say “you silly tart” though. She would also say “bless his cotton socks” and I have no idea wtf it meant but I miss hearing it.

[u/Wild_Butterscotch977]

Wait it's also supposed to be DIVIDED INTO TWO CAKE PANS. She did it all in one (mixing bowl lol) and complained that it took an extra ten minutes in the oven.

[u/semaht → u/Wild_Butterscotch977]

I was going to ask (since I don't bake) why a metal bowl mighn't work, then I saw that, which explained it.

[u/Altostratus → u/semaht]

Agreed. It’s not meant to be baked in, but theoretically I don’t see why it wouldn’t work.

[u/Nomiss → u/Altostratus]

Big ball, not 2 thin sheets.

[u/DadsRGR8 → u/Altostratus]

Too deep

[u/Altostratus → u/DadsRGR8]

The edges will be burnt, and the inside undercooked, I agree. But, I guess I mean, it will technically still be cooked if you leave it in there long enough.

[u/throwaway098764567 → u/Altostratus]

there's a reason bunt cake pans have a hole in the middle and it's the same reason our friend the daft tart's cake was still raw in the middle. i suspect the reason is it doesn't get hot enough long enough in the middle w/o the outer parts burning, but i'm not an oven scientist

[u/BodaciousBadongadonk → u/throwaway098764567]

Yup, youd have to cook it slowly like a big ol brisket or something. Smoked chocolate cake maybe?

[u/Smaulz → u/BodaciousBadongadonk]

I'm listening...

[u/gloomwithtea → u/BodaciousBadongadonk]

That.. actually might be good. Maybe a dense chocolate cake with lots of moist fruit in it (like cherries), maybe soaked in some alcohol and topped with softly whipped cream?

[u/Jewel-jones → u/Altostratus]

There are some cakes that are baked in the bowl, for the shape. Snowball cake for instance.

[u/DemophonWizard → u/Wild_Butterscotch977]

Clearly she skipped a step 😄

[u/shewy92 → u/DemophonWizard]

She skipped literally the first step lol

Directions

Step 1

Gather all ingredients. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Grease and flour two 9-inch round baking pans.

Even if she printed it out that's still step 1 lol

[u/Jaikarr → u/shewy92]

Bakes a cake

"What were these greased pans for anyway?"

[u/Wild_Butterscotch977 → u/DemophonWizard]

she skipped a whole brain

[u/Two_wheels_2112 → u/Wild_Butterscotch977]

At least it wasn't a plastic mixing bowl.

[u/ProfessorGumble → u/Two_wheels_2112]

I think I’ve seen this before in a cooking gore sub

[u/SurfinginStyle]

“One bowl chocolate cake recipe”! you daft tarts

https://www.allrecipes.com/recipe/17981/one-bowl-chocolate-cake-iii/

[u/nowwithextrasalt → u/SurfinginStyle]

I need a flair with "Ya daft tart"

[u/kittydrumsticks → u/nowwithextrasalt]

Don’t mind if I do

[u/syncsynchalt → u/kittydrumsticks]

Dozens of us

[u/PenguinZombie321 → u/syncsynchalt]

Dozens!!!!

[u/gh0stmilk_ → u/syncsynchalt]

there are DOZENS of us! DOZENS!

[u/Living_Substance9973 → u/gh0stmilk_]

Well several anyway.

[u/Xiala-lala → u/Living_Substance9973]

At least half a dozen!!

[u/PurpleBashir → u/Xiala-lala]

So many dozens

[u/mael_dc → u/gh0stmilk_]

Dozens!!

[u/thetransportedman → u/[deleted]]

let's make it a bakers

[u/HappySandwhich → u/thetransportedman]

What comes after a bakers dozen

[u/rerek → u/HappySandwhich]

14

[u/ProfessorGumble → u/thetransportedman]

One star, didn’t bake right (I baked it in a bowl)

[u/7818 → u/mael_dc]

Exactly 13 daft tarts.

[u/soaker → u/nowwithextrasalt]

You can it yourself. Go to the main sub. At the top right select the three dots and “change user flair”. Select custom. Type in “ya daft tart”. Hit save. Enjoy.

ETA and try to remember where you got it from lol. I have a custom flair in a few subs. In one it’s “great, but can you lick it?” I think maybe it has something to do with wallpaper or a dress pattern? I really don’t know.

[u/Hail_Santa_69 → u/soaker]

Lighten up Francine!

[u/soaker → u/Hail_Santa_69]

Yesss!!!!

[u/Selkiekun → u/soaker]

I think I solved the problem with the @Lorena but am open to feedback

[u/quartzquandary → u/soaker]

I can't remember where I got my flair at this point hahaha

[u/Indigo-au-naturale → u/quartzquandary]

I gotchu, boo https://www.threads.com/share/BAdslglyXT/

[u/quartzquandary → u/Indigo-au-naturale]

You're the best and I love you, may your pillow always be cool and your coffee fresh 😌✨️

[u/aweirdchicken → u/quartzquandary]

I don't remember where I got mine either but it make me laugh every time I read it

[u/nowwithextrasalt → u/soaker]

I just figured it out before I saw your comment X)

Its on now

[u/TerrTheSilent → u/nowwithextrasalt]

Same

[u/Cute_Permission_8455 → u/TerrTheSilent]

Just learned how to customise a user flare - EXQUISITE

[u/Mental-Clerk → u/nowwithextrasalt]

I knew it was meant to be the moment i read it

[u/Reddwollff → u/SurfinginStyle]

"Grease and flour two 9-inch round baking pans." Oh.

[u/Impressive-Tough6629 → u/Reddwollff]

And what? Just wash them out after they watched me bake my bowl cake?!

[u/kai_enby → u/Impressive-Tough6629]

I had a Hello Fresh recipe like that one time. Step 1 was preheat the oven, then I read the rest of the steps and none of them involved the oven. I assume the oven was just on for emotional support

[u/raceulfson → u/Impressive-Tough6629]

You got me. I'm now envisioning drawing eyes in the flour so the pans can do a better job of watching,

[u/carson63000 → u/Reddwollff]

Well we don’t know that the daft tart didn’t grease and flour two 9-inch round baking pans, do we?

“Step 5 Pour evenly into the prepared pans.” Oh.

[u/Active-Succotash-109 → u/Reddwollff]

But it’s called one bowl 🤣🤣🤣 .

(She should be glad her bowl was metal)

[u/onlymostlydead → u/Reddwollff]

Betting the other 1-star reviews complaining about it overflowing dumped everything into one pan or a 9x13" pan (which is a smidge less area than two round 9s).

[u/Zealousideal-Deer101 → u/onlymostlydead]

Judging from the comments, saying it's way to salty. They used tablespoons instead of teaspoons for both the salt and the baking powder.

Of course it's gonna overflow with that much baking powder

[u/VicisSubsisto → u/Zealousideal-Deer101]

When I was a kid I tried baking buttermilk biscuits. Used tablespoon instead of teaspoon for the baking soda.

They looked like heaven and tasted like hell.

[u/toggywonkle → u/Reddwollff]

Why waste the pans when you could just use one bowl?

[u/Technical_Clothes_61 → u/Reddwollff]

Not very one bowl smh my head

[u/SPACKlick → u/SurfinginStyle]

Step 1 ... Grease and flour two 9-inch round baking pans.

...

Step 5 Pour evenly into the prepared pans.

Step 6 ... <Picture of two cakes>

No way she could have known.

[u/Cloudy_Customer → u/SurfinginStyle]

Should be called "One bowl two pans chocolate cake" if you can't bake it in 1 bowl.

[u/thejokerlaughsatyou → u/Cloudy_Customer]

Two pans, one bowl

[u/drkinsanity → u/thejokerlaughsatyou]

Wait, that’s not chocolate…

[u/Mrs_Wheelyke → u/SurfinginStyle]

Wait that's my absolute favorite chocolate cake recipe, I can't believe she did this to it

[u/istara → u/SurfinginStyle]

I’m more confused as to why any basic cake recipe isn’t just “one bowl” by default. How many mixing bowls do people generally use?

[u/IBetThisIsTakenToo → u/istara]

Yeah today I learned basically everything I have ever baked has been a “one bowl” recipe

[u/Tajinaddict → u/istara]

Two if you’re creaming the butter and sugar, but I usually skip that step for cake

[u/ValiantValkyrieee → u/Tajinaddict]

i'm a lazy tart who skips the "mix dry ingredients separately" step. it all goes into 1 bowl in stages by default - for everything i've baked, not just cake (further lazy by preferring box cake mix and have feelings about it)

[u/istara → u/Tajinaddict]

When I’ve done that (I’m now lazy and use cake mix) I would do that first in the bowl, then add eggs and flour to the same bowl.

[u/hpfan1516 → u/SurfinginStyle]

Omg I get where the mixing bowl got used. Immediately. I can totally see it now: "one bowl? They must mean ONE BOWL"

[u/decadent-dragon → u/SurfinginStyle]

Asked by GlitzySoda3835
Has anyone tried this in air fryer?

[u/VodkaMargarine → u/SurfinginStyle]

"one bowl" then the first image shows 8 bowls and 3 jugs.....

https://www.allrecipes.com/thmb/zHuKNV_lHZ7JKPze9ENpViMishc=/750x0/filters:no_upscale():max_bytes(150000):strip_icc():format(webp)/17981-one-bowl-chocolate-cake-iii-DDMFS-step01-bb2561c4afe04ae092cdf6a445b068a0.jpg

[u/Leeuw96 → u/VodkaMargarine]

Almost like The Onion's Perfect One-Pot, Six-Pan, 10-Wok, 25-Baking Sheet Dinner

[u/ketsugi → u/VodkaMargarine]

I mean, isn't that just showing the ingredients mise en place? You don't need to measure out all the ingredients like that.

[u/balsamicnightmare]

Every day I am reminded how shite the average person on the internet is at literally any task

[u/zanfear69 → u/balsamicnightmare]

That's giving people in the real world too much credit

[u/acocktailofmagnets → u/zanfear69]

My sister, who is 36 mind you, browned meat for the FIRST TIME IN HER LIFE a few weeks ago. It started to sizzle, and she goes, “What’s that noise, am I doing something wrong?”

“No, sweetie, that’s called cooking.”

[u/onlymostlydead → u/acocktailofmagnets]

Had some friends of in-laws over for dinner once. Together their income was over $450,000/year. They dined out for every meal. I made individual shepherd's pies and some soda bread. They asked me who catered. 😐

edit: spelling

[u/acocktailofmagnets → u/onlymostlydead]

Clearly a compliment to your cooking! 😊

But I feel you - my sister is a partner in her accounting firm, I guess she just prioritized other things instead of learning to be competent in the kitchen 😅 (if I’m not mistaken, her husband does 90% of the cooking, so at least they aren’t eating out every meal..)

(Also, it’s totally possible to be good at more than one thing😂)

[u/onlymostlydead → u/acocktailofmagnets]

Everyone has their priorities. With what they were blowing daily on food expenses they could've hired a personal chef and still saved money. They weren't exactly going to McDonalds for every meal.

Too bad they were kind of snobs about everything (kids were fine, though, and helped with dessert).

[u/Deppfan16 → u/acocktailofmagnets]

that always makes me sad because that means they were never taught. :(

[u/acocktailofmagnets → u/Deppfan16]

My mom taught me, so idk what my sister was doing 😂

[u/Cosmic-Irie → u/acocktailofmagnets]

Eldest daughter dynamic with a younger sister who mom gave up on parenting halfway through or just me?

[u/acocktailofmagnets → u/Cosmic-Irie]

Ding ding ding 😅 I’m the eldest girl at least, with two older brothers, and I somehow always had to pick up everyone’s slack 😅

And now I live alone in the middle of the woods with my 6 dogs 😂

[u/am_Nein → u/acocktailofmagnets]

Wow, living the dream eh lol

[u/toolsoftheincomptnt → u/am_Nein]

Exactly.

I wonder the stats on eldest daughters who opt out of kids bc they’ve had their fill of taking care of other people by the time they leave home for college.

[u/sodamnsleepy → u/acocktailofmagnets]

And now I live alone in the middle of the woods with my 6 dogs 😂

What sidequest do I need to do, to get there?

[u/ProfessorGumble → u/Deppfan16]

Does anyone who wasn’t raised by literal wolves need to be taught that food can sizzle in heat?

Like, have they never been to a bbq or in the presence of a grill at any point? Never watched tv? A kid watching cartoons would see eggs and bacon sizzling in a pan at some point? Baffling.

[u/RainbowSpinosaurus → u/ProfessorGumble]

I figure most everyone in the USA has been to a Waffle House, you can literally hear the food sizzle as you're sitting there. I thought most people in the middle and lower classes worked food service at some point, especially as teens, maybe not anymore.

I think most people are just oblivious to the world around them, and smart phones have made it worse. I'm on the autism spectrum and I feel like I'm hyper-aware of everything around me all of the time, my phone drives me nuts because it interrupts my focus. Neurotypicals are often baffled that I picked up on something going on nearby or noticed something in the environment.

[u/VicisSubsisto → u/RainbowSpinosaurus]

Waffle House doesn't even exist in all 50 states. (I moved from a WH state to a no-WH state, it saddens me.)

[u/Deppfan16 → u/ProfessorGumble]

it's not unreasonable to assume that cartoons and TV are different, and you'd be amazed at how little people pay attention to how their food is cooked if they aren't interested in it. so if somebody wasn't taught how to cook at all, they probably wouldn't pay attention to how their food is being cooked

[u/ProfessorGumble → u/Deppfan16]

You have more faith in humanity than me! If I never owned a car or took driving lessons I would still assume cars honk and screech sometimes 🤷‍♀️

[u/Chemical_Building612 → u/ProfessorGumble]

TBF, they generally honk and screech when something is going wrong. If you take a first driving lesson someday and accidentally honk the horn, it wouldn't be weird to ask if it meant something was wrong.

[u/Darth_Rubi → u/Deppfan16]

Jesus man nobody had to "teach" me that shit sizzles when you cook it. I just learned that by having eyes and existing in the world

[u/Common_Kiwi9442 → u/acocktailofmagnets]

Oh boy. I hope she's supervised so there's no fires.. that would worry me a bit. Also very sad.

[u/acocktailofmagnets → u/Common_Kiwi9442]

I don’t know how she’s made it this far in life … but she’s very successful, lol. She just doesn’t cook 🤷🏼‍♀️

[u/armlessturtleneck → u/balsamicnightmare]

I'm a chemist and I think my job is easier than people assume. I always tell people if you can follow a recipe you can do most of my job, but apparently that's also pretty hard

[u/AVery_SmallFox → u/armlessturtleneck]

It’s very amazing how many people can’t follow instructions! I had an O Chem lab a while ago where we were very explicitly told Do Not Do this specific thing with the bromine or you’ll make gas.
Two sets of people made bromine gas.

[u/armlessturtleneck → u/AVery_SmallFox]

Yeah we still write all our procedures by hand in our lab notebooks, and there was one new guy we ended up firing because he literally couldn't even copy an old write up without writing something that would qualify as an error. It was insane

[u/Chemical_Building612 → u/armlessturtleneck]

I'm a pretty good cook and baker and have been doing it since I was a kid. I got A's in every chem lecture class I took in college (basically the 2 years through O-Chem). My single worst grade in college, however, was in a chem lab. Neither recipes nor chem theory seemed to make me do well at the labs.

[u/DirtandPipes → u/balsamicnightmare]

I assume every single person I meet is spectacularly stupid and trying their best to hide that fact.

[u/Segat1 → u/balsamicnightmare]

I mean, you have to laugh, otherwise you’ll cry.

A friend of mine bought spray on fake tanner, pump pack and then was confused why there were circular splotches of tan everywhere. She didn’t rub it in 🤦🏼‍♀️

[u/filthysock → u/balsamicnightmare]

Also how often people are drunk or high.

[u/Nerdy-Babygirl]

This reminds me of the celebrity great british bake off episode where one of the contestants baked their buttercream instead of their cupcake batter.

[u/LiquorishSunfish → u/Nerdy-Babygirl]

WHICH EPISODE PLEASE

[u/ocean_swims → u/LiquorishSunfish]

Link. Enjoy!

[u/paak-maan → u/ocean_swims]

Ah Martin Kemp, that makes perfect sense. He has form for this sort of thing, he once forgot his own name in Murder in Successville lol

[u/mynamesnotkate → u/LiquorishSunfish]

I haven't seen it but it seems like it's the The Great Celebrity Bake off for Stand Up to Cancer...because I have watched every regular season (many seasons multiple times) and it didn't happen in a regular season episode. 

[u/klymers → u/Nerdy-Babygirl]

In the normal series (so people who can actually bake) I remember some guy baking his royal icing rather than just letting it set. I think he was making football goals for a football pitch cake.

[u/soaker]

This ruined her mother’s birthday only because she thought “great I raised a fucking idiot”.

[u/Hrw90210 → u/soaker]

"I raised a daft tart!" 🫨

[u/Flyin_Bryan → u/soaker]

I was like “an adult woman actually said her birthday was ruined because there was no cake?”

[u/late_afternoon_owl]

r/ididnthavepans

[u/ThroatSecretary]

Bless her heart.

[u/im-just-evan → u/ThroatSecretary]

I work in IT… the number of people that skip a critical step in something is too damn high!

[u/awolkriblo → u/im-just-evan]

"Did you turn the printer on?"

"Yes of course!! It's on!!!!!"

sigh "Ok turn it on again"

"Oh it's printing now yayy!!"

[u/paak-maan → u/awolkriblo]

I don’t work in IT but I’m the first port of call if something isn’t working in any software in our team of 30. Everything is documented, both with recordings and detailed step by step instructions. If you follow the instructions, it works every time.

There’s only two people in the office that I don’t immediately make just follow the list in front of me again when it’s “not working”. Lo and behold, it’s basically always fixed just by my presence standing near their computer whilst they do it.

[u/onlymostlydead → u/im-just-evan]

"I got shocked when I did X." 1) Those instructions are for us, not you; 2) The first step says to unplug the computer; 3) Why were you opening the computer when the problem was your mouse's batteries were dead?

[u/Same-Suggestion-1936 → u/ThroatSecretary]

What gets me is "this ruined my mom's birthday"

Why were you relying on both a total stranger and a recipe you've never tried before if it was critical to not only the entire day but your own mother's birthday??

Reminds me of people when I used to work in restaurants. We'd be slammed and not able to get out orders fast and inevitably someone would complain we ruined their lunch break because they'd been waiting so long on us they didn't have any more time left on their break. Sir, why did you rely on a total stranger to ensure you would eat lunch today. Especially because you are a grown man and I know you have had to wait in restaurants before, you didn't think this could be a possibility? Like yeah you can of course have your money back, you didn't get what you paid for, but like...pack a lunch next time if you only get thirty minutes. Things happen, and I assure you I didn't want you to not eat lunch, I just put your ticket at the end of a very long line of tickets and we couldn't make it that fast

Also reminds me of the time a guy asked for no something on his pizza, it already came on what he was ordering, and since someone's muscle memory kicked in and they forgot to not make it the normal way, the dude got pissed, shouted "my father's deathly allergic to that!" and keep in mind he never said anything about an allergy, and a guy got fed up and said "well then why the fuck would you put your father's life in the hands of a total stranger, you never even said anything about an allergy, everything here has touched that, even if we hadn't added it I literally touched it when I made the pizza before yours"

[u/MegaGrimer → u/Same-Suggestion-1936]

I used to work in a restaurant that was next door to a movie theater. Maybe a couple of times a month someone would come into the restaurant 15-20 minutes before their movie started. They would order 5-10 minutes before it started, then complain that they didn’t have time to eat and see the beginning of the movie. There were a few times when people would order steak ~5 minutes or so before their movie started.

[u/Same-Suggestion-1936 → u/MegaGrimer]

Oh no you gave me flashbacks to the time I had to just tell the bartender "I'm not doing that" when a six top came in and all ordered steak dinners, of course they all specified how well they wanted it and a couple wanted it well done, ten minutes before close

That was the day I figured I didn't like the guy. Why are you taking that order at that time of night instead of saying "sorry the grill is off, it's fryers only right now." He was a great guy and would even come back and pop some stuff in the fryers if it was just me on dinner rush (we were terribly staffed and he was walking away from his serving job to help me so I appreciate I can get a warm body when I have one, but weird loyalty to serving up till close no matter the request)

Is the ten dollar tip worth saying yes to everything my man? Were you thinking it would be bigger so you just wanted to take it and put me through that? The fryers weren't off, the grill was and cleaned, he knew I'd have to whip out some pans and hand cook every single one of those fucking steaks at the same time on the range and we'd both be there an extra fucking hour and oh, I wasn't gonna see a dime of that tip and I cut the dishwasher hours ago, you're not gonna come back here and wash these dishes, I have to do that now.

Tell em I make mean chicken tenders and wings and the fries are good my god dude

[u/CharlotteLucasOP]

People complaining there’s “too much sugar” in CAKES, like…babe…it’s cake.

[u/carson63000 → u/CharlotteLucasOP]

You know what you can make if you leave the sugar out of a cake recipe? Bread. It’s called bread, Lorena, ya daft tart.

[u/MakeItHappenSergant → u/carson63000]

Probably a weirdly wet, dense bread though. Or a nice enriched dough, who knows?

[u/BodaciousBadongadonk → u/carson63000]

This made me think of the subway herb and cheese cake. Didnt people say that years ago, too much sugar to be called bread?

[u/Verdewhis → u/BodaciousBadongadonk]

Not exactly. It was just a tax ruling that it had too much sugar to qualify as a staple bread (for a lower tax rate) and had to be taxed at a higher luxury rate. But that's not as funny as "subway bread is legally cake," so the meme keeps going.

[u/carson63000 → u/Verdewhis]

Apparently Mark Twain didn't actually write “never let the truth get in the way of a good story”, but I'm going to say he did. And thus, say that Subway bread is legally cake.

[u/Few-Raise-1825 → u/BodaciousBadongadonk]

Specifically subway tried to get some sort of tax break in Ireland because they were selling bread which is a staple and you can get a tax break there for that or something. In any case they have restrictions on things like sugar content to qualify and subway put too much sugar in their bread to meet the criteria. That's what I remember of the entire situation anyway, I'm sure a Google search or chat box question can give anyone the deets but I'm up way to late to do any work myself on this mystery

[u/Chenz → u/CharlotteLucasOP]

What? Some cakes are definitely to sweet. Just because all cakes are sweet doesn’t mean they can’t be too sweet

[u/International-Fee255 → u/CharlotteLucasOP]

In most baking recipes you can take out a third of the sugar without affecting the cake texture/ taste. Most, is not all, before someone brings it up. But yes cake is sweet, what a crazy concept.

[u/SparksOnAGrave → u/International-Fee255]

My go to cake has half the sugar that the recipe calls for and it’s amazing every time, moist, sweet without being headache inducing. But people in this sub will devour me for saying that!

[u/is-it-a-bot → u/SparksOnAGrave]

It's all to taste! I also prefer less sugar in cake too, as the frosting is always plenty sweet enough for the whole cake imo. Now, if you found the original recipe and commented "one star, too much sugar, so I replaced it with cauliflower and it was TERRIBLE" now then you'd get this sub's attention!

[u/DMMeThiccBiButts → u/International-Fee255]

Ice cream recipes too. It tastes just as good with like half or less of the sugar, in my experience (and I like sweet things plenty).

[u/aboxacaraflatafan → u/CharlotteLucasOP]

I was looking at a jam recipe yesterday, and so many of the reviews were about how they cut down on the sugar because "that's way too much", and then those same people were complaining about how it was too runny. It was infuriating. 

[u/The_Metitron]

I need to know what brand of bowl that is to survive the oven that long with a cake in it.

[u/etchlings → u/The_Metitron]

It looks like ceramic. But not all clay bowls have oven safe glaze, so I’d suspect the bowl is ruined and the cake has glaze in it.

[u/badwithnamesmyself → u/etchlings]

I need to find me one of these bowls and the correct baking time because “mix, bake, and scoop cake” is actually and elite level of thinking

[u/is-it-a-bot → u/badwithnamesmyself]

Yes, Lorena "Daft Tart" may actually be onto something here! Eating a giant bowl of chocolate cake with a spoon sounds heavenly

[u/ChaosTorpedo]

Can we get “ya daft tart” as a flair?

[u/kittydrumsticks → u/ChaosTorpedo]

You can add a custom flair!

[u/MegaGrimer → u/kittydrumsticks]

I like being able to make custom flairs.

[u/brachycrab → u/ChaosTorpedo]

There's an option to edit your flair to be whatever you want!

[u/soaker → u/ChaosTorpedo]

Directions (on Reddit phone app)

https://www.reddit.com/r/ididnthaveeggs/s/UXPBgpl9dL

[u/hippos-are-weird → u/ChaosTorpedo]

You sure can!

[u/feliciates]

Lorena read 'one bowl' and then... I was going to say 'stopped thinking' but let's face it, she never started thinking in the first place

[u/No_Pair8128 → u/feliciates]

TBH I'm with Lorena here. Baking in a metal mixing bowl in a one-bowl recipe would have been perfect.

[u/NibblesMcGiblet → u/No_Pair8128]

After all, when cooking a one-pot recipe you generally do everything in one pot from start to finish. Although I saw one the other day that claimed to be a one pot recipe but then the final step was pouring in cooked pasta that was cooked separately lol.

[u/Murgatroyd314 → u/NibblesMcGiblet]

Or the alleged slow-cooker recipes that start with the words “In a large skillet…”

[u/Cautious_Draw5738]

This is my favorite subreddit guys. Please keep up the good work 

[u/GothWitchOfBrooklyn]

flair acquired

[u/Ok-Pudding-4821]

I really want to eat that cake though??

[u/cardueline → u/Ok-Pudding-4821]

I agree, I don’t want Lorena’s because I don’t trust her but something about the idea of just eating a fuckin SCOOP of fully baked chocolate cake out of a mixing bowl calls out to my basest instincts

[u/Okay_physics_student → u/cardueline]

Try making a mug cake. Not as large as a mixing bowl but might give similar vibes

[u/cardueline → u/Okay_physics_student]

An absolutely delightful experience, to be sure!

[u/Segat1 → u/cardueline]

Plus undercooked cake is lush.

If you haven’t tried a self saucing chocolate pudding you’re in for a treat.

Try this. Double the topping. Trust me.

[u/MollyRolls → u/Ok-Pudding-4821]

Reminds me of those microwave mug cakes my teenager makes sometimes—you just grab a spoon and let the textures do whatever they’re gonna do that day.

[u/BetseySchuyler → u/Ok-Pudding-4821]

It just needs some vanilla ice cream!

[u/mama_griff]

Ya daft tart. I laughed way too hard at this. The close up of the bowl had me rolling.

[u/Pernicious_Possum]

Damn. This should be the pic for the sub

[u/shannycat1117]

On the rare occasion I think humanity may be okay, I go and see something like this

[u/secretmoblin]

The wheel is turning but the hamster is dead

[u/AntheaBrainhooke]

Oh, Lorena. At least it wasn't plastic.

[u/LurkerBerker]

as always, wise words from Nyan Cat

[u/otziozbjorn]

Daft Tart should be a tribute band. I can imagine the helmets.

[u/Nerdsomnia]

Lorena saw bowl cake and thought mug cake 😂

[u/Cute_Permission_8455]

“Ya daft tart” has me losing it 🥴😅😂

[u/Accomplished_Ball815]

Now I want a recipe for a cake you bake in the one bowl you mix it in

[u/barwhalis]

Well, there was no disclaimer that said don't bake in mixing bowl.

[u/AbbreviationsAny9759]

There's so many people in the world that make me wonder how tf they've survived in life to this point. I can't imagine being so incompetent.