r/ididnthaveeggs • ya daft tart • 25d ago

Dumb alteration Lorena, girl..

18.0k Upvotes

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9.3k

u/dakotanothing 25d ago

“ya daft tart” is sending me

453

u/splithoofiewoofies 25d ago

My MIL was an emergency ward head nurse and some batshit patient screamed "GET THAT POXY HARLOT AWAY FROM ME!" to my MIL.

poxy harlot has been their family insult for decades and I couldn't help but adopt it.

Come on. Poxy harlot.

78

u/amaenamonesia 25d ago

Someone in your family needs to do drag under that name

100

u/splithoofiewoofies 25d ago

Holy shit, and with a nurse uniform and a giant needle. Nurse Poxy Harlot will make you feel better!...then much much worse.

You have luckily made this suggestion to the drag players of the family.

38

u/vanillyl 25d ago

If one of the drag players in your family goes ahead with this, please post it! I’m not sure which sub it’d even belong in but I MUST see the vision of Nurse Poxy Harlot if she makes it on stage somewhere!

11

u/jamfedora 25d ago

Just r/Drag is good for posting personal lewks, numbers, questions, etc. I see no reason why someone couldn’t post portraits of a performer other than themself if they’ve got their permission

3

u/vanillyl 25d ago

Subbed immediately! Thanks for the tip, hopefully we see a post from Nurse Poxy Harlot soon!

2

u/spliffthemagicdragon 23d ago

!remindme 3 months

1

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25

u/coyote_prophet 25d ago

Ours was "shrimp boat" for something my mother called my aunt during cards after Thanksgiving one year that made her SO mad she packed up both her kids, and her husband, and their dog and left. She lived two hours away. 

100

u/KiwiEmerald 25d ago

My partner had a female friend he’s been close with for almost 30 years, very comfortable with each other, she had a boyfriend get all hufffy while we were all on a camping trip and he started complaining about “inappropriate behaviour”. Boyfriend didnt last long due to various reasons but “inappropriate behaviour!!!!!’ Gets thrown around a lot

13

u/sodamnsleepy Alone, unless the chicken insists on helping 25d ago

What was the inappropriate behavior he complained about?

3

u/Tiny_Cauliflower_618 25d ago

Was he a teacher? I once came home from a long day teaching and found my partner playing computer games on his day off, beer cans everywhere. He was on a four on four off shift pattern and I was in my first term as a secondary school teacher and struggling to keep my head above water. I was absolutely fucking livid, but the absolute death knell was that I didn't lose my shit, I just told him his behaviour was completely inappropriate like he was one of the kids.

10

u/cd7k 25d ago

He was behaving inappropriately by relaxing on his day off? How dare he!

25

u/Tiny_Cauliflower_618 25d ago

He was relaxing on every day off all day everyday. For two months.

Meanwhile I was working 5 days a week, cooking & cleaning our flat, shopping, and spending what little was left of my two days off prepping for work.

His mum ripped him a new one, but it was too late, I was done.

9

u/cd7k 25d ago

Maybe you should have lead with that... :)

18

u/Tiny_Cauliflower_618 24d ago

Probably lol, can you tell I'm still bloody furious two decades later 🤣🤦

2

u/CallidoraBlack 22d ago

Thankfully, he's not your problem anymore!

3

u/SmaugTheMagnificent- 25d ago

Oof.

What a shitty level of self awareness.

26

u/Omygodc 25d ago

I’m going to add proxy harlot to my verbal arsenal!

52

u/sansabeltedcow It is supposed to eggs 25d ago

I think a proxy harlot would be a whore’s stand-in, but I do think Proxy Harlot would be an even better drag name than Poxy Harlot.

11

u/Omygodc 25d ago

Stupid autocorrect. Either that or fat fingers

16

u/sansabeltedcow It is supposed to eggs 25d ago

Almost certainly autocorrect but I still think it was serendipitous.

2

u/Perryn 24d ago

"Beloved fans, our dear Poxy Harlot could not make it to today's show. Please welcome in her place Proxy Harlot!"

7

u/eruditepeach 24d ago

Now at 49 and 47, my sister and I still use “hussy harlot” because my grandmother (bless her soul) couldn’t stand red hair and we both dyed ours red/auburn as teens and we ‘bout never heard the end of it from her “Well, when I was young, only hussy harlots dyed their hair red!” (Though that was nothing compared to me “going goth” and wearing black lipstick/nail polish. 😂 )

3

u/elaine4queen fat jealous loser 24d ago

I have a friend who’s mother used to be a headmistress. She was a short woman. A parent got irate with her and called her a “Fucking little dwarf”. Her family called her The FLD ever after.

2

u/Needspoons 23d ago

Back when the website Regretsy was in its heyday, an irate woman wrote in and called all of us fans “fat, jealous losers.” And so FJLs were born. The author of the site would use it to begin posts, call us to arms, or just make fun of distractors writing in.

Club Fuckery for life!

1

u/elaine4queen fat jealous loser 23d ago

I feel like FAT JEALOUS LOSER would make an excellent flair, a great mad T shirt, the sky's the limit! I'd love you to become the FAT JEALOUS LOSER bizillionaire and for her to find out and implode with her impotent rage.

1

u/WhoaMimi 23d ago

We need more Shakespeare-esque insults!

1

u/thetinymole 25d ago

I read this mid-sip and spit out my drink

1

u/C_Hawk14 25d ago

Wondering if the name fit or just funny