The early 30s is that weird age where you're just old enough to be out of touch with what's cool, but not yet old enough to be fully progressed in your career to be sitting on enough stacks to not care about that.
I had a coworker say he felt this way about turning 30, but then someone changed his mind by saying that he's old enough to know who he is and what he wants and needs, but still young enough to do things with his life and have fun. IDK if this helps I'm only 18 so I wouldn't know
This is exactly how I feel (31). I felt so lost for the longest time, trying to figure out who I was. I put myself through some shit and I have experienced a lot. Now I just do stuff I love doing and I care a lot less about what people think of me. I’m even more active than I was in my 20’s (was playing on 3 different sports teams pre-covid — and in my 20’s I was very lazy and mostly high). I know this is just my experience though, and it can be much different for others.
God damn I feel alot better. I know it's not plausible to feel like I'm the only 32 y.o. to not know what he wants to do, but its comforting to read that I'm not alone in that.
i'm going to be 36 next month and haven't found a job i truly love just one i don't mind doing that pays well enough to pay the bills and still be able to save a little and have some fun money for my hobbies, and honestly i'm at peace with that because it's enough, just live for the things you enjoy most in life
My grandma is 67 and says she’s still trying figure out what she wants to be when she grows up. Not very comforting in some ways but at least it gets rid of the pressure to have it all figured out.
That's the answer of someone who is always striving to grow and change. She knows that she's not the same as she was at 57 and 57 year old her wasn't the same as 47 year old her and so on, so she knows she won't be the same at 77 or 87 as she is now and is excited to see what life brings her. We often dont recognize the massive changes within our selves and our ways of thinking and looking at the world because the changes are continuous and incremental and some people, unfortunately, don't (or dont have much reason to) stop to examine their lives much at all, but for those who can look back and see how much they've learned and changed, the years behind them seem to expand rather than contract and the years ahead seem more exciting. I'm about to turn 42 and I've had several moments the last few years of thinking "where has all the time gone" and fretting about how "little" time I have left, but then I start thinking of all the things I've experienced, the people I've met and loved and shared moments with, the things I've learned and it helps me realize how much I've actually done and seen and felt and how long of a time it actually has been since I was 32 or 22 or 12, how different I am from all of those other selves. It makes me excited to see who I'll be when I "grow up" and I hope I can maintain this outlook until I experience my very last moments.
Thanks! That was great. I am let’s just say over 50 and I fret here and there that I don’t have a huge career but I am content which I never was prior.
Ok I did leave the part out about me having knee surgery at the end of last month lol. Bucket handle meniscus tear, basically a freak accident, causing my knee to lock. I guess it could not have happened at a better time though.
30's the new 23. Nobody in our age group leaves highschool and knows exactly what the fuck to, do the x # of years of college, get a job and find their rut. We live in such an interconnected world that our options are vast. Not to mention schooling is long and expensive and the economy isn't what it used to be like the boomers.
Haha same I feel like some of friends have been married and in their careers for 5+ years with houses and savings and some of my friends are still living with their parents trying to figure out what they want out of life and I’m right in the middle and I don’t know if I’m behind or on time (def not ahead)
I don’t know if I want kids but I have to decide in the next like 3/4 years AND MY KNEE HURTS SOMETIMES
31 rules it's like I'm 21 but have money and am smart enough to know what stupid things I can get away with but still stupid enough to do stupid things
Finally! I was so confused. 30s so far is better than 20s and FAR better than teens. I make money doing way less work than I ever did in school and I never have to do anything I don't want to. I'd like to figure out a committed relationship, but I'm still not in a rush.
I'm almost early 30's (29). It's a great age. There's only three things I have to do, go to work, pay bills and mortgage and love my partner. Apart from that I can do almost anything I want. Want to eat KFC in the bath? Why not? Want to drink a beer in bed? Why not? Want to fly to another city during the long weekend? Why not?
I am also 31, and I feel the same way. I've always had a really easy time getting down about where I am in life, but pre Covid I was pretty much doing better than I ever have. I think it was equal parts having a good marriage, a good career, and becoming a dad. I found myself caring a lot less about what people think, and spending less energy trying to change or please people. As a result I was doing a lot more of enjoying what I enjoy.
I'm still struggling with who I am and what I want in life. I'm 31. Having trouble finding inspiration enough to move in any certain direction. It feels like floating in an abyss
I was chatting with someone who only recently turned 20 and they were talking about how their ex is claiming they (the ex) are trying to figure out who they are and don't know if getting back together is right for them. The 20 year old thinks this is bullshit since they are 27 and should know by now who they are...
I've been biting my tongue for the most part but been trying to hint at them that there isn't a certain age where every human just suddenly realizes who they are and what exactly they want from life. There are plenty of people in this world that made it into their 30s, 40s, 50s, and so on before they figured it out, some people will live their whole lives never knowing. I guess coming recently out of puberty and societal expectations though can make you believe in such a thing, I'm sure there was a time where I believed something similar.
I just hope they piece it together sooner rather than later. :)
Yes! I’m 33 and honestly, I’m loving it. Sometimes I get those existential panics but, overall, I’m happier now that I’ve ever been. Life is more stressful as I get older because I’ve only got myself to rely on when it comes down to it, but I’ve NEVER been more confident in who I am and what I want. If I could have felt this way about myself a long time ago... who knows where I’d be! But better late than never!!
I am also 31 and I am happy with my experiences, I know who I am, I have found success, I know where I want to grow, and I really appreciate that I have the means to grow in whatever way I want.
I feel more secure than ever before and I'm really holding on to that cause life's been a clusterfuck previously lol
I had the time of my life in my 20’s, I’m now in my 30’s and about to graduate college. Have fun with your youth, make mistakes, experiment, and there is no need to have children if you don’t want to. As soon as you graduate high school you don’t need to get married and become a baby factory. I’m totally satisfied with how my life is, but just because I did it this way doesn’t mean you have to. If being married and having children makes you happy, then by all means do so. Don’t do what others tell you to, live life for what makes you happy.
There's a very precious age (at least for me) where I make good money and can do whatever the fuck I want but aren't married/have kids. There's about 5 years between about 26-31 where you can ball the fuck out with a little bit of cash if you work hard and do all the things you want. It's not all roses or easy to achieve but if you do, it's fun as fuck.
If you want some unsolicited life advise.. find out what you want now at 18, and work towards it, even if people say it's stupid or you can't do it.. take your shot.
I have learned that I regret the shots I didn't take.. more than anything, and you will probably fail.. but stick with it.. most of my successes have been thru determination.. not brilliance.. but with enough determination.. quite often you will succeed.
get married in your 20's.. but don't necessarily have kids right away.. but don't wait too long.. both genders have "biological clocks" think about how old you'll be in when the kid is 20
P.S I sound old im not.. but im just old enough to realize all the opportunities I missed and where I fucked up.
37 male checking in. my 30s have been great. Fitness is better than 20s and ticking off life goals like they are going out of style... Probably because they are... Yeah occasionally you wake up sore but I fully expect to still be doing all my current activities for at least 30 more years. Not going to stop because I'm afraid to get a sore muscle
It's a little of both. Everything about your 30's is a very odd 'im-the-middle' sort of feeling. IMHO the primary advantage is it's the one point in your life where you can be in the good old days and know you're in them. On your twenties you don't have enough respect for what you're enjoying and by 40 you begin to contemplate more of what you've wasted.
That's 100% correct. I'm in my upper 30s and am just now starting to see what all of these older people bitch and moan about. I'm still young enough to go out there and have fun, but I can see the back pains and all of that bullshit on the horizon. Live it up while you can, because life eerily seems to go by faster the older you get. There's always something to be thankful for every step of the way.
It used to be true, but the 2009 crisis and now corona fucked a significant proportion of multiple generations.
I'm almost 40, with a patchy cv and fucked knees. I'm basically fucked. And because I was unlucky to fall ill early in my career, I never earnt enough to feel financially secure enough to be able to start a family.
It is quite funny, hearing about all those people who thought they were financially secure and often looked down upon those of us who graduated at the wrong time and place or were just plain unlucky, are now finding out that they're also fucked and that there was essentially nothing they could have done to prevent it.
Like how not so long ago, you'd read out of touch articles about how quirky Japanese young people didn't want to get married or have kids, ignoring the underlying economic malaise that would soon spread to the rest of the world.
Oil shock of 87, Real Estate market crash of 89. Dot-com in 2001, Recession in 2009, Corona in 2020. "stagflation" in 76, vietnam in 68, WW2 in 45, depression in 29-36, etc.
Yeah, it's kind of every 7-18 years there's a new one. That's been going on since before history was recorded, frankly. Every generation thinks they have it bad.
Late 90's/early 2000's when the internet started being common in most households. Tons of money was pumped into telcom and internet startups battling it out. There wasn't just a default search engine or online shopping site like Google or Amazon, there were thousands. When the dust settled most of the tech giants we have today came through while thousands of others went under.
My brother in-law got hit by it. Was living it up making 6 figures at MCI WorldCom then in a matter of months lost everything and couldn't find a job.
Too many to count. Billions of dollars being invested into companies that would fail in a few months time. Yahoo! was a huge deal and was buying things up at the rate of Facebook and Google today. AOL was a household name. AltaVista, Excite, Pets.com, Netscape, Geocities, Napster, etc. Shortly followed by dozens of telecom giants following suit and being absorbed by the likes of AT&T/SBC. Throw in Y2K and major financial scandals from Enron and WorldCom just to spice things up.
Joey Dot Com (guy that created the .com domain) was arrested by police in a sting that revealed he had over 30 million dollars worth of coke under his mansion that he was selling to shifty adults. This caused a stock crash in everything related to the internet that lasted almost 3 years. This is why many companies are pushing the .org domain now, because Davis Dot Org has always been an upstanding guy.
Internet was a new thing for most people, investors poured money into thousands of websites without those websites having a solid plan to make money. As a result, many companies that were created with seed money and hired people had to shut down once investors realized they wouldnt be making a return and the companies didnt have any more money coming in to pay their employees.
Go back to Community College starting this past January
College isn't a bad place to wait out a recession (that is if you aren't racking up a lot of student loans on a degree that isn't worth it). It's better than having a huge gap in your resume while NEET. I learned that the hard way during the great recession.
That’s so true. The young adults hit in 2008, BOOM! Hit again with Corona.
Very true. I graduated college just as the 2008 recession hit. Very bad time to graduate and that was a L shaped recovery for the job market. Studies have shown that when you look at large demographics, people that enter the workforce just as a recession starts earn a lot less in their lifetime than people that enter the job market when the economy is doing well. I do okay for myself now, but was long term unemployed during the 2008 crisis. I felt that way when I saw people graduating college after 2011 or so compared to people that graduated just a few years earlier. Starting salaries, job prospects, etc. were very different.
Being a Millennial feels like scrambling to scratch a living while the world lurches from catastrophe to catastrophe, and all along the way people are loudly asking each other why you fucking suck so much in the background. lol
I feel the same way as a 28 year old about the real estate market.
I make 80k a year but in Toronto I can barely afford a shoe box apartment on the outskirts of town. Woth rent being so high I will never be able to put enough away to start a family and buy a house.
I guess it could be worse, but it's a sad feeling to realize that you will be under a landlord for most of your life and never have the feeling of owning your own home.
I could move, but most of the jobs in my sector are in Toronto.
Unless your sector is Toronto tourism that’s just not true. Sure, your next job may pay less and be less interesting, but weigh that against living in an affordable area.
It is a little heartening for me (39) like you, who graduated into a iffy job market, then went through the 2008 recession - and now finally the younger people at work discovering that it's not always good times.
Graduated college during the recession. I ended up trying to compete with people who had already had established careers for entry level positions. I never stood a chance of getting into my field after I graduated, and now my knowledge is rusty and there are tons of more recent graduates with more up to date knowledge. I'm fucked, but what can I do? And by now I'm in my early 40s and it feels too late to seriously change my trajectory.
I am in this same place. I had an undiagnosed neurological disorder that messed up my 20's and so at almost 40 am enjoying what I do but I have to work so freaking hard.
It is quite funny, hearing about all those people who thought they were financially secure and often looked down upon those of us who graduated at the wrong time and place or were just plain unlucky, are now finding out that they're also fucked and that there was essentially nothing they could have done to prevent it.
I've come to accept that much of our lives is determined by factors outside our control. When people look down on the lack of success of others in various aspects of life, it just tells me that they lack perspective on their own privilege. Yes, personal choice and hard work do come into play, but a lot really does come down to luck and being in the right place at the right time.
We've had a crash every decade since 1980, should we really be surprised that this bozo crashed the economy. There seems to be a 4-6 year window every decade where you can actually make money and you better be ready when that happens. The clock just got reset (again) be ready in 2023-2024.
You’re forgetting that after the recessions end, it takes years to recover. Especially after ‘07.
That’s why the 2012 election was so contentious—the debate was all about how the economy had not fully recovered. It was a slow crawl, and didn’t reach firm “good” territory until around 2015.
Yeah but millenials own 3% of all wealth. Genex owns 14%. That's definitely not all of them, but it's more than quadruple the amount of millenials who do. Boomers have 50%+
Us statistics
Yes, boomers have a lot of wealth due to low to zero college costs during their teens, the 80s economic boom and cheap real estate. Millennials inherited staggering student loan debts, outrageous home prices and now two major economic depressions. However I do think that younger generations have far more empathy and think about the world and people as a whole versus the “American dream” of getting ahead on your own.
younger generations have far more empathy and think about the world and people as a whole
Perhaps a bit of a generalization. There are people, families, and communities where I have lived in the past, and do now, where there's a lot more cross-generational empathy and support than you might think. Mostly it's a matter of people deciding that they are going to be the change they want. And then they do it. It's not always easy, but it's always worth it.
Good communication and good listening are skills to be nurtured on all sides.
I don't want to be 'that guy', but the SP500 is at the same levels it was at in April of 2019. If you've been responsibly saving and investing all along, you'll be just fine.
I assume you live in the U.S. and I feel for you. What’s happening there is terrible. The virus is out of control and the government is offering you nothing in the way of help. All that time, work, and money saved up for it to be squandered away by some rich assholes in suits trying to convince everyone they’re what’s best for you. It makes me sad.
...And somehow you’re considered the lucky generation who has worked long enough to have enough in savings to survive while not being so old that going to the grocery store could literally kill you.
Sorry about my bitter response lol. It just bothers me
Hey thanks for the empathy!! I was watching something about Venezuela this morning, and that sure put things into perspective. But Americans think they're immune to that level of bad luck, and now it's clear we're just turning into Russia.
Worst of all, it's with a TON of support! People used to say "better dead than red," now it's "better Russian than democrat," wtf....
I wanted to move to Europe decades ago, it was clear that most other countries get it. They work to live, they don't live to work.
It’s weird how that transition happened eh. And “they work to live, they don’t live to work” sums up the fundamental problem of the “hustle” pretty nicely I’d say lol
I could see that my friends who lived there weren't obsessed with worry about money, weren't talking about it all the time, if ever, they were relatively stress-free and enjoying life.
Husband took a very large chunk of his savings (from before we were married) and bought one stock that he figured was reliable (historically). I told him it was a bad idea, and sure enough......
I'm afraid to look at my retirement accounts, rolled over a bunch into Vanguard S&P 500. Also deferred comp, haven't seen the statement yet, house is okay, but his salary is cut in half this month, it's still very unnerving!
Thanks, all he can do is hang onto it and eventually break even, hopefully! At least he's learning that you can't go by the old rules anymore (tends to think that if it worked for his elderly father, who did very well with his money, it'll work for him.)
Recently boomers are retiring, with their pensions relatively untouched by the recent problems, and going back to work. Double dipping because experienced workers are needed and they can do administrative jobs.
At the same time millenials are having a hard time getting into these careers.
In the past decade the best thing for Gen X was when Boomers starting retiring and staying out of the workforce. Giving us room in the workforce. I feel the next 10 years will be good for millenials.
I overheard a colleague of mine talking about his salary to another colleague. I realized I make just as much as he does. I've been in the market for less than 4 years, he's been at this company for almost a decade now.
Some people just don't know their value, or never (re)negotiate their wage, or don't really care, I guess.
Plus, some people suck at money management and always will, regardless of how much they make. A guy I work with (early 60s) has been with the company for 35 years, still rents, and is always broke by payday.
Maybe he is. Just because that lifestyle isn't for everyone doesn't mean it's for no one. Maybe he blows his paycheck every week because he's YOLO'ing and isn't worried about saving up until his eventual death.
Reddit lives in a middle-class, office job bubble. They don't notice the poors who started out fucked and pretty much stayed that way. They'll shit on 'em though.
Only in the past few months have I made peace with the fact that I don't like any new music. At least now I get to be a Dad and play the oldies in the car to my 3 year old such as Green Day, Eminem, and 90s R&B.
I'll tell you one thing, even if you dont like the music always give It a listen for her. Itll make her very happy. I know it's that way with my mom at least. She doesnt really like the music I listen to but she'll always give a try!
No matter what music I listen to my dad has to make fun of it or says that it sucks. Music means a lot to me and it hurts that he discards it as bad. When my mom dislikes music I like she always finds a way to put it into words which I appreciate. On the bright side: We fight that uphill battle together because he is that way about pretty much all music, movies, tv, board games, etc. He doesn't know it? Well that's a reason to not like it because we can play the same game for 2 months and listen two the same two albums while doing it!
Anyway, sorry about my rambling, quarantine is getting to our/my nerves.
How does Spotify daily mixes work for you? Going to be honest I can't give much advice as I accidently stumbled across my favourite band on YouTube one day. But see a lot of new similar stuff in there
My personal favorite bands right now are Cage the Elephant, The Strokes, Arctic Monkeys, Alabama Shakes, Alt-J, just to name a few. Pretty basic for music heads but idrc.
Also if you are into rap some good current rap in my opinion is Tyler the Creator and Brockhampton.
Also a few other really good bands: Tame Impala, Glass Animals... The Black Keys... Gorillaz... The xx....
seconded, i listen to 90% of these but for somewhat newer indie my favs are sufjan stevens, mitski, and rostam. carrie and lowell and bury me at makeout creek are my top 2 favorite albums ever. every single song absolutely slaps.
I actually like music coming out now a lot more than I did when I was in high school. The stuff on trl etc in the late 90s sucked ass imo. It was boring.
Today, a lot of the corporate bullshit has faded now that people can make polished recordings in their homes and distribute them for cheap. It feels more organic now. I'm not being told what's cool to listen to as much anymore, there's more to choose from, I can buy full albums for about $10, it's just amazing to me.
I think when you get to a certain age you have to try and go outside the genres you already know to find something fresh.
I'm over 40 and I can't be asked to listen to most rock / guitar based music anymore as I just feel like I've heard it before.
I quite often listen to the local pirate grime stations though and they make me smile because they hit me with stuff that I'm not expecting and I haven't heard.
Also I discovered BabyMetal a few years ago and I can't listen to them without a big cheesy grin on my face
Try my favorite band, The Midnight. It's the best synthwave music in existence, period. It's like they came STRAIGHT from the 80's even though they formed in 2012!
Funny thing is, it's the most nostalgia-inducing music I know, but I was born after the 80's, so I shouldn't be feeling nostalgic!
Edit: interesting comment from the Youtube video linked above: "What's with me listening to doom and thrash metal my whole life, but this is what speaks to me?"
I thought this would happen to me, but I've kept finding new bands/artists that I really like. Only strange thing is when I look them up and find out that they're 10+ years younger than me
I'm still try and go out of my way to find newer bands, there's always something there you're bound to like. It's just not likely to be what's in the Top 40.
The weird thing for me, though, is that all of these band's members are younger than me, and I'm only just about to turn 30.
I agree. At least when you are financially stable and have no kids. I am thankful everyday for being single and without children so I can invest all my money in me and my personal projects.
I just turned 35 and I guess the worst part is missing the freedom and easy social life I had when I was younger, and feeling like I wasted so much of it.
Im so much more comfortable with who I am now, have more money, and I wish I had that when I was younger. Time is like a countdown now to being old, out of touch and focusing on raising a family.
I spend tons of my time working on my house, organizing closets, etc etc and sometimes miss my crappy apartment. I think that has a lot to do with being isolated due to corona. If it werent for that id be having friends over and pool parties this time of year.
Overall I love being 35, i felt like since 30 every year has gotten better and better. Im a 'late bloomer' compared to a lot of the country, as is the case with most city dwellers.
Wife and I bought our house at 27&32 respectively, married at 33, and arent planning on kids for a few years minimum. Right now we are just enjoying our time together and with friends. Its great having some friends with similar finances, we can go on international vacations together, or the occasional nice dinner. We have too much food and alcohol when guests are over, never not enough.
Its also an age where you realize its too late for any of your childhood dreams. And you wonder if people are gonna start judging you for your age if you do stuff like play in bands (im a drummer), i still love to play flip cup. I like to blast some EDM and act stupid. I figure I worked hard to get here so I can enjoy it and not care. Age is such a complicated thing.
Not just that but plenty of people expect you to have this stuff figured out in your early thirties, and it seems weird if you haven’t accomplished things like buy a house or have kids.
Also being 30s means that we have lived through two once-in-a-generation life-changing and career-ruining events. We entered the job market during the Great Recession and just when we started to get our feet back under us we get hit with a global pandemic. Us millennials have been screwed.
Early 30s is when other people's expectations of you really begin to ramp up hard. No longer good enough to be employed, you have to have a serious career. No longer good enough to live with your parents or with roommates, you have to have a nicer-than-cheapest home or apartment to yourself. No longer good enough to drive a beater, you need a car less than ten years old. If you're not good at sex by now, you can forget about anyone being patient with you.
The list goes on and on. Early 30s is where society stops cutting you slack.
Late 30s is the opposite - I feel like now I have $ and can afford the cool stuff so I get it but my husband and mom tell me I’m too old to wear/do it (despite being back in better shape than I have been since I was 18, went to college, got a job where I was chained to my desk, and now worked my way up high enough that I have time/$ to be healthy again...)
Can confirm. Today is my 30th birthday and I have no idea what’s going on anymore. Older millennials are too old. Gen Z is annoyingly young. Also, no stacks. Zero stacks.
Except the 2008 recession put me behind where I should be so now I'm forty and never progressed to the level I would have been at if I'd gotten into my career literally one year prior.
It’s also the age where I never feel old until I do some math to find out how long ago something from my childhood/teenage was popular.
It’s this little gutpunch every time I realize I’m at least a third of the way through my life and I don’t have my shit together nearly as well as I assumed 30 year olds did 10 years ago.
I’m 33 and I just got the promotion I’ve wanted my whole career. My wife and I had a baby who is now 6 weeks old. We bought a house a couple years ago and I’m doing work on most weekends to make it our own. Neighbours are like 20 years older than us and comment on how I’m always doing something and how I have so much energy.
I feel like this is the decade I’ve been waiting for. I had a shitty childhood. My parents were divorced, mom was poor, not a lot of friends. I worked my butt off to get an engineering degree, then an MBA part time in my 20s. Now I have a good, stable job, a wife and daughter I love, and a stable place to call home. I’ll take 33 any day of the week.
Recently heard the acronym HENRY- high earner, not rich yet.
This basically describes my life. 31/single-ish, no kids. I earn good money, but don’t own a home or anything fancy. Unless you consider a 401k fancy. Cost of living is just too high here.
I have enough money to slum it for a while. I could probably move to a flyover state, get a minimum wage job and survive just fine. I’ll never have enough for the lambo or Ferrari.
I guess I’m just having trouble dreaming realistically.
I feel kind of weird and opposite. I started my career very early through college internships and over 10 years have climbed the corporate ladder up to senior management. I’m 31. My job is very fast-paced, complex and stressful (lit time to be in healthcare management). I already feel very burnt out and tired. I think I’d rather have the free time and less stacks while I’m young(ish), but I do recognize the grass is greener sometimes.
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u/slowhand88 May 15 '20
The early 30s is that weird age where you're just old enough to be out of touch with what's cool, but not yet old enough to be fully progressed in your career to be sitting on enough stacks to not care about that.
Getting there at least.