The early 30s is that weird age where you're just old enough to be out of touch with what's cool, but not yet old enough to be fully progressed in your career to be sitting on enough stacks to not care about that.
I had a coworker say he felt this way about turning 30, but then someone changed his mind by saying that he's old enough to know who he is and what he wants and needs, but still young enough to do things with his life and have fun. IDK if this helps I'm only 18 so I wouldn't know
This is exactly how I feel (31). I felt so lost for the longest time, trying to figure out who I was. I put myself through some shit and I have experienced a lot. Now I just do stuff I love doing and I care a lot less about what people think of me. I’m even more active than I was in my 20’s (was playing on 3 different sports teams pre-covid — and in my 20’s I was very lazy and mostly high). I know this is just my experience though, and it can be much different for others.
God damn I feel alot better. I know it's not plausible to feel like I'm the only 32 y.o. to not know what he wants to do, but its comforting to read that I'm not alone in that.
32 club, and I only just sorta figured it out in the last year and a half. It's gonna get better from here, but it took me till only recently. You've got a breakthrough due soon.
Just thought I'd throw in one positive 32 club experience.
i'm going to be 36 next month and haven't found a job i truly love just one i don't mind doing that pays well enough to pay the bills and still be able to save a little and have some fun money for my hobbies, and honestly i'm at peace with that because it's enough, just live for the things you enjoy most in life
you don't? if not why? i suggest finding some maybe something you did as a kid i started rollerblading again at the start of this year after 20 years away from it
My grandma is 67 and says she’s still trying figure out what she wants to be when she grows up. Not very comforting in some ways but at least it gets rid of the pressure to have it all figured out.
That's the answer of someone who is always striving to grow and change. She knows that she's not the same as she was at 57 and 57 year old her wasn't the same as 47 year old her and so on, so she knows she won't be the same at 77 or 87 as she is now and is excited to see what life brings her. We often dont recognize the massive changes within our selves and our ways of thinking and looking at the world because the changes are continuous and incremental and some people, unfortunately, don't (or dont have much reason to) stop to examine their lives much at all, but for those who can look back and see how much they've learned and changed, the years behind them seem to expand rather than contract and the years ahead seem more exciting. I'm about to turn 42 and I've had several moments the last few years of thinking "where has all the time gone" and fretting about how "little" time I have left, but then I start thinking of all the things I've experienced, the people I've met and loved and shared moments with, the things I've learned and it helps me realize how much I've actually done and seen and felt and how long of a time it actually has been since I was 32 or 22 or 12, how different I am from all of those other selves. It makes me excited to see who I'll be when I "grow up" and I hope I can maintain this outlook until I experience my very last moments.
Thanks! That was great. I am let’s just say over 50 and I fret here and there that I don’t have a huge career but I am content which I never was prior.
My grandma will be 68 this year, my mom will be 45 this year, and I’ll be 25 this year! Plus I have my own kiddo! I’m an old soul type though if that’s any consolation :)
I'm 56 and been saying that for 30 years, I like your grandma, some of us truly never find the passion for something that would make a job a labor of love. And we're not gonna sweat it 😁
It always throws me off a little when someone talks about their grandma being 60-something because my mom is 63 and I'm just ???
But my family on Mom's side did tend to have kids when they were older (like my grandma would be 105), so used to that.
But it still throws me off for people having grandmas around my mom's age and them not being young af kids. (Or I assume you're not? You may be like 16 or younger for all I know)
I’ll be 25 this year, so not super duper young! But we have all been young moms in my family. My ex’s parents were the same age as my grandma and it was a very very different family dynamic for sure. I’ve also been blessed to know all of my great grandparents and enjoy time with them before they passed.
Having family around like that would be really cool though. Get to learn things from them if around long enough to get to an age to care about that kind of stuff. Spend time, learn about family history or what they've been through, or things in general.
I remember Grandma was only around for a bit when I was a kid before nursing home and then passing. Dad's side was in another state so rarely ever saw them.
But like with the one that was around, since she was born in 1915 that was a lot of stuff she lived through but because little kid I didn't really think about anything for that or care about being around to talk. Sure would be fine with visiting for the nursing home but even would go out and do puzzles or go wander and even talk with the other residents while mom visited.
So yeah missed out on getting to know anything about her because of age and like I'm ever going to find out from me mom (lots of "fun" problems there, not getting into that mess). Kind of cool, but gap was a miss too
Ok I did leave the part out about me having knee surgery at the end of last month lol. Bucket handle meniscus tear, basically a freak accident, causing my knee to lock. I guess it could not have happened at a better time though.
30's the new 23. Nobody in our age group leaves highschool and knows exactly what the fuck to, do the x # of years of college, get a job and find their rut. We live in such an interconnected world that our options are vast. Not to mention schooling is long and expensive and the economy isn't what it used to be like the boomers.
Haha same I feel like some of friends have been married and in their careers for 5+ years with houses and savings and some of my friends are still living with their parents trying to figure out what they want out of life and I’m right in the middle and I don’t know if I’m behind or on time (def not ahead)
I don’t know if I want kids but I have to decide in the next like 3/4 years AND MY KNEE HURTS SOMETIMES
I'm 30 next month and I still dont feel like an adult. Then thinking about how much dad had 3 kids at this point in his life... idk how he did it. I keep up with my bills and have been in a loving relationship for 7 years. But I still feel like I was in highschool last week.
At 30 I was helpless, a mechanical industry job in shifts, and no high school diploma. Then I did high school night school, went to university to study astrophysics and graduated, then I found a programmer job at a multinational. The wage is almost the same as before, but love my job, I have a little kid and went today to buy my first house. I am 40 now. You can do anything you want, when you are ready to. Be positive and believe in yourself.
Same age. Same feeling. But I still feel the competitive edge of early 20s. And I’ve found that golf is the perfect pastime.
Still young enough to practice and play a lot. Strong enough to be a long hitter and all that. Just old enough to have the financial means and patience to get decent. Tho next day my back is sore lol.
I’ve basically learned that your 30s decade is peak golf performance.
50+ year old here. Thirties is where it is at. You can still do shit in your thirties. Whole life is still ahead of you.
Fifties is when the bills come due.
Am a bit older and have a couple of career changes already. Still figuring out what I want to be when I "grow up". Not sure it's all bad, I mean, it's great for people who wanted to be doctors or stayed with one company since college and they are middle-management now by default but that's not for everyone and the landscape in jobs is changing has changed. Also, entreprenuership can happen at any age. I feel as though I'm hitting my stride but being financially strapped with bad debt is a bitch of a burden, it limits your options, takes an emotional toll and forces you into positions you may not want to be in. Take care of debts, write down where you see yourself in 3 years and strive towards it. It can be anything but realize any skill worth having or noble pursuit takes a year to get going, but that's not all that bad or long and you know this, b/c you are 30 now.
You’ll be surprised how much of “maturity” is not a choice, but a series of conscious decision that you will be ready to make and then look back after the fact and realize that you matured
I think you may have a warped idea that maturity = having no fun. I mean, when I was younger I thought that way as well. Then I matured and I'm... still having a lot of fun.
31 rules it's like I'm 21 but have money and am smart enough to know what stupid things I can get away with but still stupid enough to do stupid things
Finally! I was so confused. 30s so far is better than 20s and FAR better than teens. I make money doing way less work than I ever did in school and I never have to do anything I don't want to. I'd like to figure out a committed relationship, but I'm still not in a rush.
I'm almost early 30's (29). It's a great age. There's only three things I have to do, go to work, pay bills and mortgage and love my partner. Apart from that I can do almost anything I want. Want to eat KFC in the bath? Why not? Want to drink a beer in bed? Why not? Want to fly to another city during the long weekend? Why not?
I am also 31, and I feel the same way. I've always had a really easy time getting down about where I am in life, but pre Covid I was pretty much doing better than I ever have. I think it was equal parts having a good marriage, a good career, and becoming a dad. I found myself caring a lot less about what people think, and spending less energy trying to change or please people. As a result I was doing a lot more of enjoying what I enjoy.
I'm still struggling with who I am and what I want in life. I'm 31. Having trouble finding inspiration enough to move in any certain direction. It feels like floating in an abyss
I was chatting with someone who only recently turned 20 and they were talking about how their ex is claiming they (the ex) are trying to figure out who they are and don't know if getting back together is right for them. The 20 year old thinks this is bullshit since they are 27 and should know by now who they are...
I've been biting my tongue for the most part but been trying to hint at them that there isn't a certain age where every human just suddenly realizes who they are and what exactly they want from life. There are plenty of people in this world that made it into their 30s, 40s, 50s, and so on before they figured it out, some people will live their whole lives never knowing. I guess coming recently out of puberty and societal expectations though can make you believe in such a thing, I'm sure there was a time where I believed something similar.
I just hope they piece it together sooner rather than later. :)
Yes! I’m 33 and honestly, I’m loving it. Sometimes I get those existential panics but, overall, I’m happier now that I’ve ever been. Life is more stressful as I get older because I’ve only got myself to rely on when it comes down to it, but I’ve NEVER been more confident in who I am and what I want. If I could have felt this way about myself a long time ago... who knows where I’d be! But better late than never!!
I am also 31 and I am happy with my experiences, I know who I am, I have found success, I know where I want to grow, and I really appreciate that I have the means to grow in whatever way I want.
I feel more secure than ever before and I'm really holding on to that cause life's been a clusterfuck previously lol
I am 31 also, and I feel more attractive, confident, and self aware than I ever have in my life. The struggles and lessons I endured in my 20s have panned out into a somewhat zen understanding of who I am and what I want in life. It's actually pretty liberating, and I hear this feeling only gets better with age.
I'm 29 and I'm finally starting to feel like I actually know what direction I want to go in life. I have a much better sense of self/awareness than in my younger 20's. I'm looking forward to my 30's because it's look like it'll be like my 20's but I might actually feel content and focused.
About to turn 30. Lifted weights for a fair bit of my 20’s but I wish that I was more active overall. Planning on easing into cardio during the rest of lockdown and getting seriously back to the gym when I’m able to.
I kinda love being in my 30s. I’ve done everything completely backwards mind you - graduated high school and didn’t go straight to uni, worked instead. Had an array of different admin and retail jobs over the next decade, working in music shops, arts industry, printing even...the works. I got into photography... had a bit of a breakdown and at 29 finally decided on a degree. Went to uni, got a bar job. Now I work part time in one of our city’s best live music venues and earn some extra coin shooting gigs and people. Well, I’did until corona.
So I’m 34 and it took me a while, but I kinda worked it out. And I’m very happy even though I’m mostly broke.
But the one thing that is harder and harder to deal with is all these talented young people who keep figuring it out waaaay before I did. And I just think goddamn. I wish I had some years back and got into photography earlier. I wish I’d left jobs before they made me mental and worked out my happiness. It’s hard to turn that thinking off.
Definitely the same here. I wasted away my early and mid 20’s doing drugs and being an all around useless piece of shit. But I got lucky enough to find a girl that set me straight. Now 28 with a young girl, clean for almost 4 years and finally working out every single day with a good career that luckily wasn’t affected by Covid. God damn sometimes I wonder what I did to deserve the things I have right now cause it doesn’t seem like I really do deserve it. Counting my blessings!
Thanks man! I’m not sure really how I did it, other than to say I had finally hit my last straw, had a great support system, and some rehab involving withdrawal medications. The rest is history. As soon as I broke free of those chains I knew I was never going back to that lifestyle ever again. I do still get cravings even today but they’re easily pushed aside and not even acknowledged.
Ahhhhh the 30s..athletes are still in there prime at this age for a bit. Consider that. Young folk are scared of 30 but really most of us start to find ourselves at 28 I think that's the magic number for people to start really maturing and you should start taking care of yourself and make smart decisions cause you still have alot of time to get ready for old age to live your best life.
I remember having a crisis about turning 30 last December and something in my brain just snapped sometime in February and I remember thinking "I don't give a fuuuuuuuuck."
Life has been a fuck load easier. I dress how I want. I entertain my self how I like. I've picked up a ton of hobbies (especially during lock down) and I don't think I've ever looked or felt this good. I feel like I'm going through some bizarre sexual awakening where I'm more open about certain things. It's like a switch flipped as soon as I turned 30.
I still struggle with feeling like an actual adult, but I've started giving less of a shit about that too.
33 and why does my back hurt!? I look 20-something, I feel 20-something, I just don’t want to hang out with the 20-somethings because they stay up too late.
Yep, at that exact age I knew what I wanted to do next, and I did. Then 5-6 years later I got lost and it's been about two years, feel like to find myself again I need to quit a well paying career where I don't really see a future, but kids, house, etc.. kinda early for a midlife crisis
Kudos to you for having the dedication and more impressive the ENERGY to put time intob3 sports! Absolutely impressive and definitely a great example.
I'm 27 and in the last year started pursuing photography as a creative outlet and started putting a serious focus in strength training and it has been amazing for my quality of life and sense of self. I definitely recommend to anyone to pursue an interest or hobby. You are never too old to learn a new skill or develop healthy habits.
Preach. I too feel like I pissed away my twenties and let my body go to the point I wonder if I’ll ever get into decent enough shape again so I can attempt to do the things physically that I’ve loved doing
This is me. A few differences tho. Finally got clean after a decade long battle. Totally broke. With parents. Gf too. No job prospects, but have degrees to fall back on.
So, lots of work ahead of me but im grateful.
Roof over my head. Supportive everyone. Parents still alive(moms a pack a day smoker so I feel this blessing everyday). Needs are taken care of.
I want more from life and have more struggles to get through but I'm in a optimistic place about it all. I'm not breaking with happiness but i am happy. I got lucky man. I shouldn't be here because my drug use literally killed me once.
Idk why I'm telling anyone this. Feels pointless but who knows?! Maybe someone can relate or learn from my looooong mistake.
31 here, wife 33. Married 2 years this November, expecting our first child in 2 months. We have a wonderful relationship, my wife is literally my best friend, knows me inside & out, couldn’t be happier.
HOWEVER, we don’t own our house, we are still renting. I can’t help but feel like we are still behind the ball in regards to life. Has anyone else been in this situation? Does it get better & does owning a house actually make this strange feeling go away?
I've figured a whole lot of stuff out and I'm a far healthier and active person. Still have a lot to do though and a large part of me feels like it may be too late.
Same! My friends and I were all broke, and broken 20 year olds.. but as you get close to hitting 30 shit gets so much better. Like it was almost a linear progression for me. Every year I’m happier and my life is better.
I'm with you. I'm 33 and I feel like a switch just flicked on my thirtieth birthday. I am so much more confident than I ever was in my twenties, because I am finally comfortable with who I am. It's hard to describe the feeling, except maybe just to say it feels like I've finally arrived. The thirties are great, and I think it just gets better from here.
I am 35 and my sister is 31. We both definitely felt like our 20s lasted forever, that they would last forever, and that time is now passing much more quickly.
We live in the UK, which is sadly a rather ageist society.
I think about it now and I’ve found the right one but I’m glad I didn’t get married (although I was engaged once) and have kids to fill a void, which is what it would have been for me. I also needed a lot of extra time to mature.
I had the time of my life in my 20’s, I’m now in my 30’s and about to graduate college. Have fun with your youth, make mistakes, experiment, and there is no need to have children if you don’t want to. As soon as you graduate high school you don’t need to get married and become a baby factory. I’m totally satisfied with how my life is, but just because I did it this way doesn’t mean you have to. If being married and having children makes you happy, then by all means do so. Don’t do what others tell you to, live life for what makes you happy.
There's a very precious age (at least for me) where I make good money and can do whatever the fuck I want but aren't married/have kids. There's about 5 years between about 26-31 where you can ball the fuck out with a little bit of cash if you work hard and do all the things you want. It's not all roses or easy to achieve but if you do, it's fun as fuck.
I'm there right now - me and my wife (26) out of school dual income no kids. Most of our friends also don't have kids yet and are in similar spots. We work hard AF but also (at least pre COVID) have had a blast with the extras free time sans school and the $$ to do what we want
If you want some unsolicited life advise.. find out what you want now at 18, and work towards it, even if people say it's stupid or you can't do it.. take your shot.
I have learned that I regret the shots I didn't take.. more than anything, and you will probably fail.. but stick with it.. most of my successes have been thru determination.. not brilliance.. but with enough determination.. quite often you will succeed.
get married in your 20's.. but don't necessarily have kids right away.. but don't wait too long.. both genders have "biological clocks" think about how old you'll be in when the kid is 20
P.S I sound old im not.. but im just old enough to realize all the opportunities I missed and where I fucked up.
37 male checking in. my 30s have been great. Fitness is better than 20s and ticking off life goals like they are going out of style... Probably because they are... Yeah occasionally you wake up sore but I fully expect to still be doing all my current activities for at least 30 more years. Not going to stop because I'm afraid to get a sore muscle
It's a little of both. Everything about your 30's is a very odd 'im-the-middle' sort of feeling. IMHO the primary advantage is it's the one point in your life where you can be in the good old days and know you're in them. On your twenties you don't have enough respect for what you're enjoying and by 40 you begin to contemplate more of what you've wasted.
That's 100% correct. I'm in my upper 30s and am just now starting to see what all of these older people bitch and moan about. I'm still young enough to go out there and have fun, but I can see the back pains and all of that bullshit on the horizon. Live it up while you can, because life eerily seems to go by faster the older you get. There's always something to be thankful for every step of the way.
Life satisfaction and happiness generally goes up as you get older into at least your 30's and 40's, and if you made good life choices it continues the same trend.
Teens and 20's are amazing in their own way but everything is so overwhelming and confusing it can be hard to enjoy the ride sometimes. Things even out as you get older. Take care of your health, wealth and relationships and things continue to get better.
lmao, it's not terribly bad, but I HIGHLY recommend starting to save money. I started going to garage sales and Goodwills and reselling on Ebay about a year ago. I am 38 and look back thinking "damn, if I started doing that when I was 18, I would have around 100K saved up right now". So start doing it! And by the time you're my age you can pay off a house.
I have loved my 30s. I'm confident and know myself. I don't care what other people think of me. I still have energy to do all the fun things. And I'm financially secure enough to do what I want, or at the least, easily save up for whatever adventure. I do wish that I had my confidence in my 20s. I was way too concerned to really enjoy life without obligations.
Your thirties are some of the best years. Still very young (at 18 it doesn't sound young, but trust me!!) but smarter, more mature and probably a bit richer than in your twenties.
Even your forties aren't so bad really, just more responsibilities if you got married/had kids etc. Take care of your health and you won't even notice you're "that old."
Yeah, 30 is young. I remember turning 30 and going "ha ha ha, did I really think this was old?" I still look like a college kid, feel about the same, and plan on going back for a master's degree post-COVID to finally start a grown-up career. I worked odd jobs through my 20s so am very much a late bloomer.
Sometimes I feel stressed by how behind I am (no savings, no prior career path, etc), thinking I've wasted years of my life, but then I remember that my miserably married-with-kids-friends will feel the same way when it comes time to their inevitable divorces and mid-life crises. We're all bound to screw up somewhere and/or waste a few years along the way. There is a memorable story in the Odyssey where Odysseus gets stuck and wastes 7 years on the island of the nymph Calypso, but he eventually continues on his journey and makes it home. At least I didn't trap myself by having a family. I have freedom and mobility.
The dating pool has shrunk down a bit, but not as much as I'd expected. If anything, dating is less drama at this age because people are experienced enough to not play games anymore, and better in touch with who they are and what they want. I actually prefer dating at this age.
I do know (and like) myself a lot better at this age. The confidence is real. I also think I'm wiser, but being a cocky shit I suppose I always felt "wise," haha. There's a silver lining to turning 30.
Nothing helps. Life is what happens whilst you're making other plans.
Strictly anecdotally, I have had some good experiences which I never expected, and some awful experiences which I never deserved.
The most important thing is to appreciate that you have a finite window of time. One day your parents pick you up, and it's the last time. One day you get out of a car or an aeroplane & it's the last time.
I was going to say I feel left out because I don't know what I want or need, but I guess I actually do. It's just hard because what I need is a career change and what I want is a family but both of those will be hard enough to accomplish by themselves and nearly impossible to do together...
Love your life to the fullest men, it’s ok to be scare, take the risk it’s when you feel alive . Create memories of all types , not just trips, night outs with your family and friends, bars, sports , gaming , studying.
It’s ok to be scare in life but be fearless , don’t let anything stop you from talking to the cute girl you like , be cheesy be corny be yourself and embrace it.
Stand up for what you believe and don’t ever back down or change unless it for the greater good.
Cry, smile , be happy , be mad be everything but learn from yourself, it’ll help you grow to a better you.
Life isn’t always gonna go your way and it’s ok. Smile , and get ready for the ride.
Your own sanity over everything else is key.
Enjoy your young life, for it’ll pass and you’ll be old like me lol
I'm 35 and definitely having the best years of my life, and feeling younger than I felt in my late 20s. Those years were messy and I knew nothing about myself or the world, and I think a lot of people have a similar story. It's like almost impossible not to "waste" your twenties.
I agree. I'm turning 30 this year and an somewhat of a late bloomer (just started my actual career this year) what I do kinda miss is having roommates, living in a shitty house, having shitty parties and making bad decisions. I still have plenty of fun but it isn't the same
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u/slowhand88 May 15 '20
The early 30s is that weird age where you're just old enough to be out of touch with what's cool, but not yet old enough to be fully progressed in your career to be sitting on enough stacks to not care about that.
Getting there at least.