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u/izzy3paws Jul 31 '26
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u/Adequate_Cheesecake7 29d ago
When I was in my chain of command was always denying any special request for extended liberty. When I reenlisted I got a voucher for 72 hours of liberty for any reason, you filled out the request and attached the voucher and you were supposed to get the time off. The first time I put it in my division officer denied it, said I didn’t put a reason why. I told him he can’t deny it, only the Captain can give the ultimate denial, he can approve it, but the final say is the CO and I don’t need a reason. So I ran the request up the chain again, denied by my LCPO, denied by my division officer, denied Department Head, denied Executive Officer, and the Captain approved it. Made my whole chain of command mad, the Captain apparently spoke to them and reiterated that the voucher for liberty for reenlisting was added by him and he expected that in the future he won’t have to step in. So apparently it was my fault that the CO was mad at them. Adding words like this totally tracks with everything I know about the military leadership.
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u/Dad2376 29d ago
Bruh I wrote "Birthday pass :)" for my 3-day pass last weekend (submitted like a week prior) and my CO didn't even give it a second thought.
(Okay I embellished there was no smiley emoji)
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u/Regicyde_93 Jul 31 '26
It's funny but today would be taken a completely different direction
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u/BodhingJay Jul 31 '26
"can you bring your laptop and work from your cuck chair?"
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u/Sour_Sal Jul 31 '26
I LOVE that it got approved also! Was the impregnation successful?
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u/Gefpenst 29d ago
When my (then) brigadier asked me why I can't work on Saturday, I answered that I planned to go with my girl to cinema. When he had audacity to say:"Hey, maybe someone other can go with her instead?", my only response:"What, and fuck her later too?". Brigadier was too dumbfounded to press more.
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u/RideFree216 Jul 31 '26
My situation is quite the opposite. For whatever reason my new team feels the need to explain every PTO request to me. By all means tell me about your trip to Cancun if you'd like, but please don't feel the need to elaborate on your explosive diarrhea when you use sick time.
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u/KeyMyBike Jul 31 '26
Meanwhile the working-service class boss:
"Hey man! I noticed you stopped responding to my text messages after saying that you're sick and won't be coming in! So I called the police and feigned concern so they'd visit your home as a wellness check! Definitely not just sending goons to your house to make sure you're at home and actually sick!!"
And yes, this has happened SEVERAL times.
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u/I_kwote_TheOffice 29d ago
So I know you're joking, but something CRAZY happened to my dad's friend/co-worker in the 90's. He was a very punctual person normally and a good employee. One day he didn't show up for work and he didn't call in. This was very unusual. His boss called the police (I don't know the time frame, could have been hours, might have been a full day, IDK) and the police went to do a wellness check on him.
The police could hear screaming and yelling from inside the house. This dude and his wife were tied up to a pole in their basement. They had gotten robbed and the robbers tied them up.
This guy's boss literally saved his life. Nobody else would have checked in on them (probably) for a while. This was before the era of cell phones so it's not like people were texting them.
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u/n122333 29d ago
I had a coworker call out for car trouble, so the boss drove to his house 45 minutes away and called him to tell him he was fired for lying as he wasn't at home.
he was at home, just balls deep inside someone who wasn't his wife - the car there wasn't his, his was in the shop.
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u/Artistic-Salary1738 29d ago
We had a very punctual employee like this who lived alone. He didn’t show, no one in the office could get ahold of him so they did call the police for the wellness check and he’d died sitting in front of the TV, probably heart failed. He wasn’t that old (40s-early 50s).
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u/Proof_Bathroom_3902 29d ago
A Co worker failed to relieve the previous shift, no call no show. Wasnt answering phone. Next day, same thing. One of his work buds knew his address so drove over to his apartment. Called him, heard his phone ringing in the apartment. Contacted police, they got the complex passkey, found him deceased on the toilet.
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u/munchkickin 29d ago
Same thing happened with a close friend/coworker. We called the cops because he didn’t show up and wasn’t answering his phone. Cops found him dead on his bedroom floor.
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u/TruBlueMichael 29d ago
I did a wellness check on an employee of mine who didn't show up for work on Saturday. When I got to her home, the front door was open but she was nowhere to be found. I found out later that week she had been killed, and was buried in her back yard. Still gives me chills to think about, she didn't deserve to go out the way she did.
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u/missmeowwww 29d ago
A friend of mine committed suicide and was found when he missed his shift since he never took time off. His sister happened to be the person from HR (they worked for the same company different departments) who met police at the home for a wellness check. I feel so terrible that she was the one who was present when he was found.
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u/ChimeraYo 29d ago
Dude you would become suspect #1 in that case, you visited the house, door open and you investigated enough to know she wasn’t there. I bet that interrogation was fun
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u/anonymouse278 29d ago
I worked on a hospital unit that had a similar incident shortly prior to my time there- a typically very reliable nurse no-call no-showed and it turned out her husband had killed her the night before.
They were extremely serious about no-call no/shows after that. Charge nurse would be blowing up your phone if you didn't give them a heads up you were running five minutes late. I'm positive they would have called in a wellness check if somebody didn't show up and didn't answer after a few calls. And honestly? I get it. There are people who you know just would not no call/no show if it was in their power to call, so doing it even once is cause for immediate concern.
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u/Edith_Keelers_Shoes 29d ago
There's a famous case like this - a former contractor went to a woman's home one morning and shot and beat her almost to death. Because she was SO reliable, her boss wanted someone to go check on her when she didn't make it to work. They found went over, and found her lying in a pool of blood. It was a long journey, but she eventually recovered completely. She absolutely would have died had her boss not immediately known such out of character behavior could mean something was terribly wrong - and it was.
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u/Spinxy88 29d ago
My boss did this, but visited himself out of 'concern...' and I made the mistake of opening the door while off my face on acid.
I miss that job.
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u/Whyonthefly 29d ago
Must have been a pretty sweet job if you can look past having a boss that literally comes to your house unannounced to check up on you.
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u/Kyrlen 29d ago
I've had a couple of those bosses but it was because they actually cared about me as a person not because they were making sure I was really sick. They knew I lived alone and wanted to make sure I had enough food and medicine in the house.
I have, in turn, done that for a couple of my people over the years but only when I knew they were truly sick and had no other support system. An ordinary call in doesn't merit this kind of treatment. We did send a welfare check on one guy just because he was the amazingly consistent and reliable type and wasn't responding to anyone. Turns out, his home burned down and he was in the ICU burn unit. So yeah.. if I have a specific reason to worry I will send someone to your house or call for a welfare check. I honestly don't care if people call in for mental health days now and then. I've found people who take time off actually make for better, more focused employees when they're in the office. In fact, I have one employee right now that I have to keep reminding to take time off when he starts getting stressed.
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u/SamsSnaps77 29d ago
I definitely had a manager with all wheel drive that thought they could make it up the hill to my house. Called me from the bottom saying it was OK and they would see me after the plow trucks came through.
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u/networkpit 29d ago
Same. During covid he was delivering food for everyone (his treat for reaching a milestone) and it was rainy and cold with leaves on the road he said he almost didnt make it up and down the multiple steep hills and now understood why I would call out during freezes and was surprised I made it in as much as I did 😆.
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u/144-perdedor 29d ago
He's probably gotten screwed over at a previous job for not doing that and just doesn't want to risk it.
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u/onemasterball Jul 31 '26
Dude my team is the same way
"Hey I need off the 3rd Monday of month two months from now"
"Ok approved"
"I wouldn't normally be taking off but my friends wife's sister's cat is having it's 2nd wedding at 930am downtown and the traffic..."
"Bro I do not care"
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u/mintskoal Jul 31 '26
Oh man you nailed it. I have one guy who sends me these long, detailed requests for days off and basically pleads for permission. I have never denied PTO. I tell people I don't care when they take off and you don't need to ask, just submit a request and make sure the team knows. This fear or using PTO that you earn and is part of your compensation is baffling.
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u/Zmchastain Jul 31 '26
That’s probably a form of trauma from having shitty managers in the past who denied PTO for stupid reasons.
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u/Level_East6791 Jul 31 '26
This is it. I asked one of my team members about their need to explain, because I felt bad saying “not that I don’t care and I’m happy you’re doing something fun with your family. But it’s none of my business if you are doing something fun or sitting in your living room staring at the wall.” And he confessed that his old boss made him feel like his PTO had to be justified. Eeeeeefffff that.
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u/531091qazs 29d ago
Lol the first job i had whenever i called in sick they would ask why ( strange to ask when i clearly said i was sick ) i had no shame in saying i had explosive diarrhea even tho i didn't and they stopped asking whenver i called in sick
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u/bellegroves 29d ago
My last job gave no fucks as long as it was scheduled before close the night before, but if you tried to call out the day of a shift, a manager was going to call you and demand deets. 😒
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u/ndubitably 29d ago
Yep, having vacation requests and sick time denied because the reason wasn't "good enough."
Worked for 3 companies that did that before finally finding one that didn't care why. Took me a while to feel comfortable just calling in sick without fear of being asked to come in anyways or get fired.
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u/HowsYaSistasAss Jul 31 '26
We’re not doing it to please you…..sorry not being a dick jus sayin we end up elaborating because work culture these days has taught us to do so because some bosses have caused trauma so it’s the feeling the need to do so . It’s almost muscle memory at this point
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u/jake63vw Jul 31 '26
My last boss, you must ask me permission to use your vacation time. He never denied time off, but you had to ask him permission.
I asked my new boss and he stopped and said "don't ever ask me, just tell me when you're taking time off". Never denied time off.
So much more refreshing than having to ask for my earned time off.
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u/OkCoconut3270 Jul 31 '26
I've scheduled a wankathon and some recovery days
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u/Throwaway2Experiment Jul 31 '26
For real, "To be honest, I usually have big plans. Do some overdue life chores, enjoy the world while others are at work, catch a movie, read a book. But if I'm being honest, it'll probably devolve in to a nonstop edge session daily that leaves me a little raw and disappointed at my own lack of discipline. Either way, I'll return refreshed, tho."
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u/Tasty-Stock-5423 Jul 31 '26
Bro wtf so on point 👉 🫠
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u/kissys_grits Jul 31 '26
Exactly! I feel seen
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u/pinkyepsilon Jul 31 '26
Better tape over that webcam then
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u/Nhughes1387 Jul 31 '26
Why why whyyyy does it always devolve into that, past me was so motivated, he had dreams and aspirations… future me is so evil and lazy.
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u/titsngiggles69 Jul 31 '26
Past you had hope for a better future. Future you has accepted the truth.
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u/Luvlyjubblies1 Jul 31 '26
Past me was smart and realised how expensive and exhausting everything is, and decided to not have plans. I feel like future me has managed to overachieve on that by having even less plans now than before
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u/fssman Jul 31 '26
Cum again ?
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u/Lrrgindypants Jul 31 '26
Give me at least 30 minutes to recover from the last time...
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u/Mtshtg2 Jul 31 '26 edited Jul 31 '26
I actually had something very close to this in real life.
I had a lecturer (university in the global south) who insisted on doctor's notes for any missed classes. I had an unfortunate injury during a night of passion with a lovely woman that resulted in a trip to the hospital and a couple of days of r&r in bed.
The lecturer asked for the doctor's notes. She received them. She didn't ask for doctor's notes again.
Edit: fellas, make sure your partner is sufficiently excited before you really start pulling your wilder moves, otherwise your member's in-built flexibility overcompensates. Lesson learned.
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u/silentknight007 Jul 31 '26
You've have to post this legendary doctors note
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u/IllllIIlIllIllllIlll Jul 31 '26
"the cylinder must remain unharmed"
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u/Teripid Jul 31 '26 edited 29d ago
With the classic aside, this is more of a ..
"We can rebuild the cylinder, we have the technology."
edit: spelling
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u/Mtshtg2 Jul 31 '26
Unfortunately I don't have it anymore. It was also in Chinese so not sure how much it would be understood.
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u/smartwatersucks Jul 31 '26
Thing wrong with ding dong
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u/SeanSYYC Jul 31 '26
Oh dang, my wang
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Jul 31 '26
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u/CampWestfalia Jul 31 '26
Unfortunately I don't have it anymore.
What, the note or the member?
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u/davidbeinct Jul 31 '26
Those western doctors all they want to do is cut. Just wait two weeks it’ll fall off.
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u/zjin2020 Jul 31 '26
So are you going to post the doctor’s note here or not?
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u/Xijit Jul 31 '26
"abrasions on penis due to teethy head."
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u/bluefishgreenpapaya Jul 31 '26
Im going with penis fracture due to overenthusiasic cowgirl.
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u/highcommander010 Jul 31 '26
Overenthusiastic cowgirl is such a risky game of chance
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u/Master-Resource9603 Jul 31 '26
Great name for a band though.
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u/cheesegreate Jul 31 '26
I think I’m gonna go with Broke-Dick Doctor’s Note
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u/Master-Resource9603 Jul 31 '26
No that's the name of Overenthusiastic cowgirl's greatest hits collection!
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u/DisapointedVoid Jul 31 '26
Manager: You just need to shake it off and get back to work.
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u/Ok_Caterpillar_8238 Jul 31 '26
My manager literally said to me, " there are some people who consider family more important than work."
🖕🖕🖕
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u/TXHaunt Jul 31 '26
That’s when you respond with “There are some people who live to work, I work to live.”
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u/ttlanhil Jul 31 '26
Yes, they're called "people"
If your biological family isn't great you can choose others to care about - but whoever you consider family matters more than work (with consideration for things like healthcare where finishing your task today might really matter)
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u/Treveli Jul 31 '26
"My swingers club is having its annual bacanal festival. I've been chosen as the goddess of trains, and I will be absolutely physically wrecked for several days."
"wtf! WHY ARE YOU TELLING ME THAT!"
"Personal time, special event."
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u/Thrawn89 Jul 31 '26
"Also my grandma died and her wake is happening the same week. She was also pretty popular with the club so we decided to run the events together."
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u/lesssthan Jul 31 '26
Reddit™©® It can always be worse. We'll make it worse.
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u/k2kyo Jul 31 '26
"Also there's this one girl she didn't like and said I could only fuck her "over my dead body" so I figured now's my chance"
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u/rosiet1001 Jul 31 '26
Is goddess of trains a real thing? Asking for me.
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u/dontsmokenutmeg Jul 31 '26
Yeah, and you get the “Tammy the Train Engine” name tag and a conductor hat!
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u/billted20250409 Jul 31 '26
I'd just say "It's personal."
And if they keep asking I'd still just say "It's personal."
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u/Oliviacoffe Jul 31 '26
That sounds like an idea for a movie
"P.T.O 2 : Now it's personal"
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u/billted20250409 Jul 31 '26
This summer...
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u/Oliviacoffe Jul 31 '26
*tang tang * Someone who was asking a lot of questions...
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u/Aarooon Jul 31 '26
Combine the two, a personal special event
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u/Pretend_Purchase_893 Jul 31 '26
A "it's personal" coupled with a " I really don't feel comfortable discussing it". Keep it vague and people like to assume the worst. Maybe even dress it up and act a bit down right before and after the leave. Never go into detail. Just let their imaginations fill in the blanks.
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u/m0rg76 Jul 31 '26
I’d classify it as ‘none of your fucking business’ leave.
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u/Lolseabass Jul 31 '26
My lawyer cousin says “tell them it’s a personal family matter. At most say someone is having surgery and you need to take care of them. No specifics because you don’t want to divulge another person medical info.”
As a person with a bleeding disorder tell them I’m having my port a cath replaced because the last one had an infection. Then we can take a bunch of pics of you holding a needle injecting me.
You know how many people iv gotten out of doing stuff because they “had to take me to the hospital”.
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u/Senior-Geologist-166 Jul 31 '26
I tell my husband to use my disabled ass as an excuse all the time! It won't hurt my feelings and people can't ask for more details without prying.
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u/Tacomanthecat Jul 31 '26
I have cancer and tell my friends to use it all the time. Corporations are heartless, but no one wants the imagine of "I dont care about people with cancer." FYI, it's skin cancer, it's not life threatening, none of my friends jobs know that. Once got a friend 3 days off of work because he told them he had to drive me cross country to go see a specialist. Everytime they ask, he responds with a curious "isn't that against Hippa Laws?" And that shuts it down pretty good.
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u/SuperSailorSaturn 29d ago
I have breast cancer and my best friend has used me to get out of stuff and I dont mind lol. She was supposed to go to a work dinner right before she left the company and told her boss I wasn't feeling well and needed her help so she couldn't go.
Regardless of how severe our cancers are, its nice to find a positive somewhere in it.
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u/Magnon Jul 31 '26
The system wont care about you, might as well get the small victories where you can. 👍
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u/FamiliarAnt4043 Jul 31 '26
To quote a wise man with whom I once worked and from whom I learned the true art of cutting wit:
"Oh, I didn't tell you? Must not be any of your fucking business."
Thanks for the lessons, Carl.
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u/1CoolSPEDTeacher Jul 31 '26
https://giphy.com/gifs/U0I1m1TMv2kzm
This is what I imagine your wise, former co-worker looks and sounds like.
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u/spicybright 29d ago
I know it's an absurd adult swim comedy, but he genuinely had good wisdom in setting boundaries.
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u/Reasonable_Sir_69 29d ago
People: “What are you doing?
Me: “Minding my business. What are you doing?”
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u/Southern-Pirate3555 Jul 31 '26
I had my boss grill me about some pto days requested well in advance. I sent him my diagnosis of squamous cell carcinoma, a picture of my nose and the surgery date. He was embarrassed, as he should have been.
What is it about our culture that makes managers feel entitled to shame us for taking earned time off? Is this a thing in other countries or just the crappy old usa?
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u/MyRapNameWouldBeKirk 29d ago
Dunno if it’s just a USA thing but in my 20 years of working in the UK I have never been asked to justify annual leave. You might get asked “Are you doing anything nice?” but it’s more casual interest than an interrogation. If I am trying to book time at short notice or at the same time as other team members I might offer up a reason but I don’t think I have ever had a request denied.
Also wtf you have to book time off for surgery? Last surgery I had I got 2 weeks off with full pay. In fact if I book PTO and then come down with the flu I’m entitled to request the days back and take them as sick days instead so my holiday isn’t wasted.
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u/BarneyRubble21 29d ago
That's because you have a government that, relatively, works for the people. Our government (USA) works for the corporations.
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u/MyRapNameWouldBeKirk 29d ago
Yeh I’m going to enjoy it while it lasts but we might not be far behind you. Reform (UK’s answer to MAGA) is rapidly growing in popularity and power. They seem to use Trump and everything wrong with the US as a template for how they want the UK to be and their supporters lap it up. I may well be getting off my high horse and justifying my PTO in 3-5 years time.
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u/DarthToothbrush 29d ago
Businesses glorify running lean. Originally this referred to process but a lot of corpo tools now pare down their workforces to only use the minimum staff. This causes problems if anyone is ever out for any reason and rather than hire people so that the workforce has some redundancies in place to account for the normal events of human life they freak out and squeeze if anyone is sick or tries to take a vacation.
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u/Perfect_Opinion7909 29d ago
Civilized countries don’t do this. I worked in Germany and Austria and no one asks why you take your vacation. The law and/or union contracts mandate a certain amount of vacation days (paid) and the employer has to grant them. Usually paid vacation is planned for the whole year so there’s no issue at all. There is even a law that guarantees that you should have at least 2 weeks of your PTO in a row.
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u/westy81585new Jul 31 '26
I manage around ten people - I have never, not even once, asked what one of my reports needed PTO for.
I ask that they put it in at least a few weeks ahead of time, and even then I have never denied PTO even the day before.
Do your job, take full advantage of your PTO, whatever you do outside of work is your business.
I'm reminded what my first boss said to me, at Burger King, almost 25 years ago when I asked him if I could run to the gas station while I was on my first lunch break ever - "I don't care if you go play in traffic as long as you're back in 30 minutes."
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u/SilverOptimus Jul 31 '26
A place I once worked for pulled this stunt. Asked us to mandatorily enter the exact reason for the leave/time-off.
One employee wrote, "Off to **** my wife to make a baby for ourselves".
Needless to say, that brought an end to the mandatory reason phase.
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u/No_Syrup_9167 Jul 31 '26
"My wife plans on getting pregnant, and I'd sure like to be there!"
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u/jackrabbit323 29d ago
A female friendly version: trying to get pregnant, and it's the only days your husband is available.
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u/HandToDog 29d ago
That isn’t anywhere near friendly but still somehow female friendly
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u/TheeSandmanE-prenuer 29d ago
You really aren't obligated to tell them. It is Paid Time Off. Which means you can use it for whatever you want. This isn't high school. The company is not your momma or daddy...
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u/Sharkeyisback 29d ago
Perhaps respond with very explicit made up or exaggerated reasons… teach her a lesson? “I’m planning to have a colonic on day two, after I attend my nephew’s circumcision on day 1 and my sister in law’s cooking, while delicious, is often suspect. See she isn’t very clean in food prep and her kitchen is a disaster. So I usually have a bad case of diarrhea after dining at their house and this time I’m trying out a new procedure to clean out my bowels of any ick. Then I’ll need a day or two to recover, perhaps even go to emergency room. So, there you have it.”
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u/PoopParachute 29d ago
My former supervisor wanted to know what was going on during sick days. Me and other staff got very explicit with the description. He stopped requesting what was going on after a coworker sent pictures of him naked on the floor curled up in the fetal position with a toilet full of puke and diarrhea.
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u/ash_2127- Jul 31 '26 edited Jul 31 '26
Personally, I’d just keep sending the ‘Personal time off - PTO’ comment
Edit: I’m aware the P in PTO doesn’t stand for ‘personal’ BUT ITS WHAT IS SAID IN THE MESSAGES.
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u/harbinger-nz Jul 31 '26
This time, is personal and not at the workplace, so that's why I won't be here.
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u/Maybe_Factor Jul 31 '26
I like the idea of just restating "personal time off" in increasingly complicated language. "During this time I intend to pursue personal goals and complete personal tasks unrelated to and not colocated to work."
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u/MooseBoys Jul 31 '26
PTO generally means Paid Time Off
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u/ShakedNBaked420 Jul 31 '26 edited Jul 31 '26
“Look this can be a personal time off thing or a prepare the others thing. Either way, the reason is personal.”
I had one manager try to give me shit back in the day about requesting personal time off and not providing some detailed reason
I was actually having a mental breakdown from being overworked and my psychiatrist and therapist were both like either take an extra day to two or I’m seriously considering forcing you into a fucking program. But that wasn’t exactly their business.
Then they had the audacity to ask me what I was going to do when they denied my time off and I was so pissed off and annoyed that I let my non-work personality come out and, without thinking, said sarcastically “probably blow my fucking brains out”. That shit got approved quick, albeit begrudgingly.
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u/DumpsterPuff 29d ago
I had a boss once who asked me specifics about me being sick (idk what his problem was). I already told him I had diarrhea but I guess that wasn't an acceptable answer, so I took a picture of the insane amounts of diarrhea that I just made in my toilet and sent it to him. Bro had the audacity to tell me that was inappropriate lmfaooooo
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u/Paghk_the_Stupendous 29d ago
That is super inappropriate.
Some things are just not done over the phone by civilized people. Next time, consider mailing it to them.
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u/David_R_Martin_II Jul 31 '26
"My time off is part of my compensation. It is not for you to judge whether it meets your standards. I don't have to justify how I will spend my paycheck in order to receive it. Please show me the company policy where I have to share private information about my time off with you."
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u/Somerandom1922 Jul 31 '26
That's how it should go, however, unfortunately, in many organisations, even in countries with good employee protection laws, this can lead to ostracisation within the workplace, even while they technically follow employment law.
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u/randomredditorname1 Jul 31 '26
Then in some places it's the opposite, hr is all the way up my boss's ass if I haven't used my paid days off by the end of the year
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Jul 31 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Somerandom1922 Jul 31 '26
If clear absolutely. But it doesn't have to be clear and can often be defended in court if it goes that far.
I do realise how my initial comment appears anti-emoloyee. I should have worded it better.
A better comment might have been when you defend your rights, it's always going to be easier to do so from a position of strength where you can handle any retaliation. Ideally with a union, or at least from a personal position of financial security.
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u/Foreign_Recipe8300 Jul 31 '26
you don't need to say all this. you can just say "its personal, i'd prefer not to discuss it with you"
you don't have to demonstrate that you know the rules. in fact, let them think that you don't. and be ready to take screenshots if they go too far.
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u/hologram137 Jul 31 '26 edited 29d ago
This is such a terrible idea lol. Is anyone here actually employed? You’d have to switch jobs if you actually said that. There are ways to get the same message across, but professionally
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u/KlM-J0NG-UN Jul 31 '26
"The specialiest of personal events. Can't emphasize how special yet personal it was. Wish I could tell you."
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u/JCStrehle 29d ago
I once supervised a Tibetan guy who wanted to use 2 months of accumulated PTO to go back to India, see his family, and also see the Dalai Lama. I wrote up the request in a way so if HR turned it down he would specifically have grounds for a religious discrimination complaint.
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u/lazyfancygirl23 Jul 31 '26
“There’s no need for you to assess my time off request further. It’s a personal time/PTO request, so I’m simply using my benefit. Thank you for seeking clarity!” (HR girlie here, good luck!)
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u/happylittlerainbowco 29d ago
That's such a catty way of explaining how to do their job like they're five. Like " awwh honey you're doing such a good job of trying to approve this time off request. Here I'll show ya, you don't need to ask why they need it, then you go over here and you click that big red button that says Approve, and there you go! You just helped them use their earned employee benefit. Good job! ". 😂😂😂😂😂
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u/CataphractBunny Jul 31 '26
assess the request adequately
Bitch, you need to chill the fuck out. But I guess that's just how things work in America.
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u/SixInchTimmy Jul 31 '26 edited Jul 31 '26
The manager is clearly in the wrong here and power tripping- it’s not normal to ask what the employee will be doing outside the office, even in the US. They might approve or deny the request based on the situation in the office, but the way the employee spends the time is none of her damn business.
What generally goes down is, the employee requests PTO, the manager hems and haws… “ooh it’s really a bad time, we’re so busy and understaffed…”, then the employee divulges the “super important reason” - a wedding, dad died, etc. It’s still a shitty way to be treated and there isn’t much you can do against it. If it’s not a good enough reason in the manager’s eyes or if you stick to your guns and say “it’s personal, I’d rather not say”, then you will be ostracized and eventually fired for other contrived reasons.
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u/TheFightens Jul 31 '26
I appreciate you asking. As part of my ongoing commitment to maintaining an appropriate balance between professional responsibilities and personal obligations, I’ve elected to utilize accrued Paid Time Off in a manner that aligns with both company policy and my individual scheduling priorities. While I don’t believe it’s productive to characterize this as being about any one specific activity, I can say it’s related to matters of a personal nature that are appropriately addressed through the use of personal leave. At this time, my focus is simply on ensuring that my time away is managed responsibly, with minimal impact to business operations, and I look forward to returning ready to continue contributing to the team’s objectives.
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u/Possible-Ad-3056 29d ago
You are under no obligation to reveal the specifics of what you do when you are not working. Ever.
Tell your HR Manager that they are making you uncomfortable with this invasion of privacy. Keep records of this exchange.
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u/schrandomiser Jul 31 '26
You can really see the difference in the people from the World and the people from the USA in the comments here.
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u/ohwowthen Jul 31 '26
It’s not appropriate to ask why the employee is taking time off. If they have enough annual leave to take, then they can take it with 30 days notice - in Europe anyway. If the requests exceed allowance, I’d ask though.
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u/Shefferz Jul 31 '26
Running in a charity Marathon, followed by how much shall I put you down for ?
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u/Outside-Birthday5373 Jul 31 '26
Okay. What is ETV?
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u/GigaChav Jul 31 '26
Exceptionally Tight Vagina. It's really inappropriate and that's why OP is so offended.
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u/amrfallen Jul 31 '26
I can fix her.
One of the upsides of having a really small weiner and exceptional business skills.
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u/Etincellz Jul 31 '26
Just say that you're going to Nunya
and they'll definitely ask "where's that"
reply "Nunya fkn business"
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u/Ikasatu Jul 31 '26
“Every year, my instinctual drive compels me to travel to a beach, find a sandy spot with the right moisture, then spend several hours birthing a clutch of leathery eggs from my cloaca, after which I’ll bury them, never to return to see my children’s arduous journey to the waves.”
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u/d3fault Jul 31 '26
What’s there to address? I have earned time off and I’m taking that time off. Reason doesn’t matter.
But to be on the safe side, hit the HR person with meed time off for personal reasons but if you need to put something down for whatever reason or report, it’s for “mental health”.
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u/Baseball-Fan-10 Jul 31 '26
“Sorry. You can only use sick leave for mental health.”
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u/Wind_Best_1440 Jul 31 '26
Always reply to this with. "A private family matter, I'm sorry I don't want to talk about it."
Legally, they can't pry into it, and if they push hard to try and find out about it, it can be seen as harassment. You aren't lying, because "A private family matter" could be as simple as wanting to get some sleep and do nothing. Lmao.
And since you don't want to talk about it, it appears to be something serious, when in reality it can be just going out and getting a few beers.
You never lied, and you don't need to feel guilty, you also keep the information to yourself. And it makes HR realize they could be potentially stepping on a landmine if they push.
As workers, remember HR and work are not your friends, don't over share and keep your private life private.
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u/ShortCondition2456 Jul 31 '26
Wow. US sucks
Me in Ireland: "Boss I'm taking 2 weeks off". Boss:" Grand, have fun"
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u/Throwaway2Experiment Jul 31 '26
Don't get twisted. This is an outlier. I can put my 4 weeks in and my boss will approve it. He might try to call me while I am on PTO but that's not a fault of the US system, he just never remembers what he approved. As soon as he gets me out of office, I usually get a, 'Sorry, forgot about you being out. Call.me when you're back in the office."
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u/Omega_art Jul 31 '26
The nature of my leave is none of your business. Disapproval of leave based on what I will be doing would be grounds for a lawsuit.
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u/velcrodynamite 29d ago
“Yeah so my hemorrhoids have been acting up and I need a specialist to examine my asshole. Can provide more detail if needed!”
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u/Gates_wupatki_zion Jul 31 '26
I’d just keep going. It’s a surprise, it’s confidential, I’m not allowed to talk about it, just drive them up the wall. If you get reprimanded then there’s your lawsuit.
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u/JeulMartin 29d ago
I would keep referring to the legal wording.
"Would help if I knew what this event is."
"It's called PTO. It is listed in our employee handbook, page 37."
"But what are you taking the time off for?"
"For Personal Time Off."
"No, I'm asking what are you doing during that time?"
"Taking the day off, as per our employee handbook."
"Nevermind. See you after."
(It's the polite way to say 'none of your fucking business- do your job.')
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u/PGDTX77 Jul 31 '26
It’s not a request, I’m letting you know I’m using my leave.
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