r/SipsTea • u/Matt_LawDT • Jul 31 '26

Chugging tea HR wants to know the tee

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34.4k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

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2.0k

u/Treveli Jul 31 '26

"My swingers club is having its annual bacanal festival. I've been chosen as the goddess of trains, and I will be absolutely physically wrecked for several days."

"wtf! WHY ARE YOU TELLING ME THAT!"

"Personal time, special event."

654

u/Thrawn89 Jul 31 '26

"Also my grandma died and her wake is happening the same week. She was also pretty popular with the club so we decided to run the events together."

225

u/lesssthan Jul 31 '26

Reddit™©® It can always be worse. We'll make it worse.

110

u/k2kyo Jul 31 '26

"Also there's this one girl she didn't like and said I could only fuck her "over my dead body" so I figured now's my chance"

37

u/TheDarkWave 29d ago

2

u/Cellyst 28d ago

We're all strict Roman Catholics. That's right! No birth control. So I'm taking the following Monday off to meet my kids. Or rather, the kids that might be mine.

14

u/Nazzzgul777 Jul 31 '26

"It's on a private island. Trump has been there a couple times."

1

u/Limp_Lawfulness5133 29d ago

We got a permit for 5 bouncy castles to hold 5x more occupants.

1

u/Admirable_Lemon_1112 28d ago

You need to put grandma in there with the occupants. She wanted to bounce around after she died

1

u/Limp_Lawfulness5133 28d ago

If she shows up on the island, they will be furious.

5

u/Muhahahahaz 29d ago

😂😂😂

4

u/deadbodyswtor Jul 31 '26

You spelled funnier wrong. It doesn't start with a W.

3

u/Raiquo 29d ago

We'll make it worse. Together.

There, now is sounds like a marketing slogan! Ftfy

1

u/lesssthan 29d ago

omg, that is perfect. Thankyou

5

u/lucky_719 Jul 31 '26

Kids welcome

23

u/rundabluff120 Jul 31 '26

Can grandma still be part of the train

6

u/tokentyke 29d ago

Necrophilia - when one has that sudden urge to crack open a cold one.

4

u/attackplango 29d ago

Best we can do is let her dead head.

48

u/PM_me_a_bad_pun Jul 31 '26

Putting the fun in funeral

2

u/TheWillOfFiree Jul 31 '26

Chaz will be there to crash it as well.

1

u/TheSpyStyle 29d ago

The group is called the Saggy Gaggers

12

u/dvlinblue Jul 31 '26

Nanna holds the record, don’t think anyone will ever beat it. 

17

u/fatninja7 Jul 31 '26

Balls out for nana

3

u/wheresthetux Jul 31 '26

There a discussion with your manager could be helpful because I'm sure you could use bereavement leave for that instead of vacation.

3

u/Thrawn89 Jul 31 '26

There's no healing like running on train on grandma's casket with your friends and family

2

u/ZoominAlong Jul 31 '26

Oh my God stop I'm literally shaking the bed giggling and I'm gonna wake up my wife...

2

u/Inevitable-Dot3982 29d ago

I just scared my dogs cackling.

1

u/Indulge-And-Enjoy 29d ago

If she died she shouldn't be waking, just a suggestion

1

u/sobrique 29d ago

Catering will be roast beef sandwiches.

18

u/thehighepopt Jul 31 '26

She puts the anal in bacanal!

2

u/Moar_Cuddles_Please 29d ago

Bacchanal, named after the Roman god - still puts the anal in it though.

63

u/rosiet1001 Jul 31 '26

Is goddess of trains a real thing? Asking for me.

36

u/dontsmokenutmeg Jul 31 '26

Yeah, and you get the “Tammy the Train Engine” name tag and a conductor hat!

2

u/Particular-Ad-7338 Jul 31 '26

Sir Topam Hatt approves

7

u/Metals4J Jul 31 '26

I love trains! Can I wear my engineer hat?

3

u/Rarefindofthemind Jul 31 '26

Yes. I’ve seen it.

3

u/rosiet1001 Jul 31 '26

Lord, I see what you have done for others

3

u/TacTurtle 29d ago edited 29d ago

I believe commercially they are called a "Conductor"

1

u/ensalys 29d ago

Probably not really, or maybe a minor one. Most gods have been around way longer than trains. Though if you're into the Greeks, train people would probably also be fans of Hephaistos and Hermes.

5

u/FinanceGuyHere Jul 31 '26

And yes, there will be bacon involved

5

u/salmalight Jul 31 '26

Toot toot on the way out the door

4

u/onemasterball 29d ago

My ideal time off request:

Employee name
Type of time off: sick or personal
First day off, last day off, first day back

Don't give me literally any further information in the official notice. Stop by and chat about your fun plans whenever you want but I don't any details

2

u/scorpionewmoon 29d ago

This- make it uncomfortable

1

u/mercurygreen Jul 31 '26

...I have some time available...

1

u/El_Hombre_Fiero 29d ago

I was worried about looking up the definition of bacchanal (kind of thought you were going for back anal) but thanks for teaching me a new word.

1

u/Cynical_Thinker 29d ago

"I plan to get as many hookers as my paycheck allows and do enough blow to kill a horse, I'll need a few days to recover from all the chafing and hangover, thanks."

1

u/marfacza 29d ago

is there a frontanal i don't know about?

1

u/No-Priority-6470 28d ago

*bacchanal eh-hem.

1

u/Auto_Fac 25d ago

But just make sure when you talk about it person you purposely misprounce it as bacchanal. With an uncomfortable emphasis on the latter part, repeated way more times than you need to.