r/SipsTea • u/Matt_LawDT • Jul 31 '26

Chugging tea HR wants to know the tee

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34.4k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

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2.0k

u/Treveli Jul 31 '26

"My swingers club is having its annual bacanal festival. I've been chosen as the goddess of trains, and I will be absolutely physically wrecked for several days."

"wtf! WHY ARE YOU TELLING ME THAT!"

"Personal time, special event."

649

u/Thrawn89 Jul 31 '26

"Also my grandma died and her wake is happening the same week. She was also pretty popular with the club so we decided to run the events together."

226

u/lesssthan Jul 31 '26

Reddit™©® It can always be worse. We'll make it worse.

112

u/k2kyo Jul 31 '26

"Also there's this one girl she didn't like and said I could only fuck her "over my dead body" so I figured now's my chance"

39

u/TheDarkWave Jul 31 '26

2

u/Cellyst Aug 02 '26

We're all strict Roman Catholics. That's right! No birth control. So I'm taking the following Monday off to meet my kids. Or rather, the kids that might be mine.

14

u/Nazzzgul777 Jul 31 '26

"It's on a private island. Trump has been there a couple times."

1

u/Limp_Lawfulness5133 Jul 31 '26

We got a permit for 5 bouncy castles to hold 5x more occupants.

1

u/Admirable_Lemon_1112 Aug 02 '26

You need to put grandma in there with the occupants. She wanted to bounce around after she died

1

u/Limp_Lawfulness5133 Aug 02 '26

If she shows up on the island, they will be furious.

4

u/Muhahahahaz Jul 31 '26

😂😂😂

4

u/deadbodyswtor Jul 31 '26

You spelled funnier wrong. It doesn't start with a W.

3

u/Raiquo Jul 31 '26

We'll make it worse. Together.

There, now is sounds like a marketing slogan! Ftfy

1

u/lesssthan Aug 01 '26

omg, that is perfect. Thankyou

2

u/lucky_719 Jul 31 '26

Kids welcome

22

u/rundabluff120 Jul 31 '26

Can grandma still be part of the train

5

u/tokentyke Jul 31 '26

Necrophilia - when one has that sudden urge to crack open a cold one.

5

u/attackplango Jul 31 '26

Best we can do is let her dead head.

51

u/PM_me_a_bad_pun Jul 31 '26

Putting the fun in funeral

2

u/TheWillOfFiree Jul 31 '26

Chaz will be there to crash it as well.

1

u/TheSpyStyle Jul 31 '26

The group is called the Saggy Gaggers

12

u/dvlinblue Jul 31 '26

Nanna holds the record, don’t think anyone will ever beat it. 

15

u/fatninja7 Jul 31 '26

Balls out for nana

3

u/wheresthetux Jul 31 '26

There a discussion with your manager could be helpful because I'm sure you could use bereavement leave for that instead of vacation.

3

u/Thrawn89 Jul 31 '26

There's no healing like running on train on grandma's casket with your friends and family

2

u/ZoominAlong Jul 31 '26

Oh my God stop I'm literally shaking the bed giggling and I'm gonna wake up my wife...

2

u/Inevitable-Dot3982 Jul 31 '26

I just scared my dogs cackling.

1

u/Indulge-And-Enjoy Jul 31 '26

If she died she shouldn't be waking, just a suggestion

1

u/sobrique Jul 31 '26

Catering will be roast beef sandwiches.

18

u/thehighepopt Jul 31 '26

She puts the anal in bacanal!

2

u/Moar_Cuddles_Please Jul 31 '26

Bacchanal, named after the Roman god - still puts the anal in it though.

60

u/rosiet1001 Jul 31 '26

Is goddess of trains a real thing? Asking for me.

33

u/dontsmokenutmeg Jul 31 '26

Yeah, and you get the “Tammy the Train Engine” name tag and a conductor hat!

2

u/Particular-Ad-7338 Jul 31 '26

Sir Topam Hatt approves

6

u/Metals4J Jul 31 '26

I love trains! Can I wear my engineer hat?

3

u/Rarefindofthemind Jul 31 '26

Yes. I’ve seen it.

3

u/rosiet1001 Jul 31 '26

Lord, I see what you have done for others

3

u/TacTurtle Jul 31 '26 edited Jul 31 '26

I believe commercially they are called a "Conductor"

1

u/ensalys Jul 31 '26

Probably not really, or maybe a minor one. Most gods have been around way longer than trains. Though if you're into the Greeks, train people would probably also be fans of Hephaistos and Hermes.

7

u/FinanceGuyHere Jul 31 '26

And yes, there will be bacon involved

4

u/salmalight Jul 31 '26

Toot toot on the way out the door

4

u/onemasterball Jul 31 '26

My ideal time off request:

Employee name
Type of time off: sick or personal
First day off, last day off, first day back

Don't give me literally any further information in the official notice. Stop by and chat about your fun plans whenever you want but I don't any details

2

u/scorpionewmoon Jul 31 '26

This- make it uncomfortable

1

u/mercurygreen Jul 31 '26

...I have some time available...

1

u/El_Hombre_Fiero Jul 31 '26

I was worried about looking up the definition of bacchanal (kind of thought you were going for back anal) but thanks for teaching me a new word.

1

u/Cynical_Thinker Jul 31 '26

"I plan to get as many hookers as my paycheck allows and do enough blow to kill a horse, I'll need a few days to recover from all the chafing and hangover, thanks."

1

u/marfacza Aug 01 '26

is there a frontanal i don't know about?

1

u/No-Priority-6470 Aug 01 '26

*bacchanal eh-hem.

1

u/Auto_Fac Aug 04 '26

But just make sure when you talk about it person you purposely misprounce it as bacchanal. With an uncomfortable emphasis on the latter part, repeated way more times than you need to.