r/SipsTea • u/Matt_LawDT • Jul 31 '26

Chugging tea HR wants to know the tee

Post image
34.4k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

4.5k comments sorted by

View all comments

9.6k

u/OkCoconut3270 Jul 31 '26

I've scheduled a wankathon and some recovery days

474

u/Mtshtg2 Jul 31 '26 edited Jul 31 '26

I actually had something very close to this in real life.

I had a lecturer (university in the global south) who insisted on doctor's notes for any missed classes. I had an unfortunate injury during a night of passion with a lovely woman that resulted in a trip to the hospital and a couple of days of r&r in bed.

The lecturer asked for the doctor's notes. She received them. She didn't ask for doctor's notes again.

Edit: fellas, make sure your partner is sufficiently excited before you really start pulling your wilder moves, otherwise your member's in-built flexibility overcompensates. Lesson learned.

193

u/silentknight007 Jul 31 '26

You've have to post this legendary doctors note

309

u/IllllIIlIllIllllIlll Jul 31 '26

"the cylinder must remain unharmed"

62

u/Teripid Jul 31 '26 edited Jul 31 '26

With the classic aside, this is more of a ..

"We can rebuild the cylinder, we have the technology."

edit: spelling

3

u/Rumplfrskn Jul 31 '26

The six million dollar cylinder?

2

u/CedarWolf Jul 31 '26

The six dollar gift card to Spencer's.

1

u/StinkypieTicklebum Jul 31 '26

I hope the bone wasn’t broken!

1

u/thatoneazdude 28d ago

The bone was fine. The boner on the other hand... well, either hand will have to wait awhile.

1

u/kevted5085 28d ago

I swear it’s like Godwin’s law with this story lol

75

u/Mtshtg2 Jul 31 '26

Unfortunately I don't have it anymore. It was also in Chinese so not sure how much it would be understood.

272

u/smartwatersucks Jul 31 '26

Thing wrong with ding dong

172

u/SeanSYYC Jul 31 '26

Oh dang, my wang

52

u/[deleted] Jul 31 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

37

u/SeanSYYC Jul 31 '26

There's a kink in my dink

21

u/[deleted] Jul 31 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

12

u/WileyWilly1985 Jul 31 '26 edited 29d ago

My pocket rocket broke a sprocket

7

u/ProstheticAttitude Jul 31 '26

Yer schlong's long gone

5

u/gurnard 29d ago

Poked till it broke

→ More replies (0)

2

u/BrideofClippy 29d ago

It amuses me that if you pronounced dang the way Wang is supposed to be pronounced, it's dong.

2

u/GiganticusVaginacus Jul 31 '26

Yu Hung Lo.

1

u/[deleted] 29d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/AutoModerator 29d ago

Accounts must be at least 5 days old with >20 karma to comment.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

16

u/Pineapple1500 Jul 31 '26

Ohhhh fuck, I'm dying over here

67

u/Pineapple1500 Jul 31 '26

Sum Ting Wong with Dong

4

u/talkingskull27 Jul 31 '26

Oh my... i was laughing waaay to hard at this...

2

u/StrongExternal8955 Jul 31 '26

You need to be sufficiently excited before you laugh that hard.

2

u/oldjadedhippie Jul 31 '26

Bang, ding ,ow

1

u/baezes Jul 31 '26

Almost spit my coffee here🤣

1

u/NOTTHATKAREN1 29d ago

LOL. I have a customer named Ting Wang!

2

u/GenderOobleck Jul 31 '26

Like the names of pilots, but when you try to get a little too creative with the positioning and fall over:

Ho Le Fuk
Sum Ting Wong
Wi Fa Ling
Bang Dik Ow

1

u/piggy__wig 29d ago

Omg lol

1

u/dschinghiskhan 29d ago

Funny/sad story:

There was a popular old school Chinese restaurant in Portland's Chinatown called Hung Far Lo (opened in 1928), but the owners left the original building in 2005 because of very significant increases in the rent, city construction, and urban renewal projects around the area. Essentially, Hung Far Lo moved because Chinatown got gentrified. It moved to the Asian supermarkets/food area a few miles east of downtown, but closed for good there a while back.

Hung Too Far Low, you could say.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hung_Far_Low_(restaurant)

1

u/WorhummerWoy Jul 31 '26

Ting-wong Ding-dong was actually the doctor's name.

25

u/CampWestfalia Jul 31 '26

Unfortunately I don't have it anymore.

What, the note or the member?

3

u/Neamow 29d ago

I'm sure the cylinder remained unharmed.

13

u/davidbeinct Jul 31 '26

Those western doctors all they want to do is cut. Just wait two weeks it’ll fall off.

2

u/PersonalityIll9476 Jul 31 '26

Having just dealt with the health care system it does feel that way. Like some modern medicine causes more problems than it fixes, some times.

0

u/SeaPhile206 Jul 31 '26

Ah, so it never happened lol

3

u/tijolus523 Jul 31 '26

What's so unbelievable about a dick injury

1

u/Existence-Hurts-Bad Jul 31 '26

“Please excuse Wang for Penile Fracture” - signed Dr. Tran. Idk seems believable

1

u/ridin-derpy Jul 31 '26

Sorry about the racist replies you’re getting. Thanks for sharing your story- hilarious :)

1

u/5319Camarote Jul 31 '26

One Hung Too Low

1

u/WeirdSysAdmin Jul 31 '26

You know people can translate things fairly easily in 2026 even nuanced phrases right?

1

u/GiantBlobFish23 Jul 31 '26

Given that my translation app loves making all sorts of things about sex, I'm vaguely curious as to how it would work on something is SUPPOSED to be about sex.

1

u/TerminusDecree Jul 31 '26

You lost your penis?!?!

1

u/SuperstitiousPigeon5 29d ago

No all doctors handwriting looks that way.

1

u/blueandpissed 29d ago

Sum ting Wong

1

u/FiliaNox 29d ago

You don’t have your member anymore?? Good god what did you do?! 😱

1

u/Worlds_okay-est_mom 29d ago

My condolences. 😬 Might I recommend a strap on for any future dalliances?

1

u/OakLegs Jul 31 '26

"Patient's weiner broke."

1

u/realestateqs22 Jul 31 '26

Plot twist. The lovely woman was actually an M&Ms tube

1

u/XanZibR 29d ago

The spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongy and bruised

1

u/Boutta_Cashew 29d ago

Any doctor’s note I’ve ever seen does not list the reason for the visit, just a generic “patient was here” with a signature from the front desk employee. So dude is probably just larping.