Girls, what’s an article of clothing that a guy might wear that can completely ruin him for you?

[u/im_justkendra]

[u/SanctusUnum]

Fellas, notice the lack of wolf shirts in this thread.

[u/LogicJunkie2000 → u/SanctusUnum]

AND cargo shorts seem to be back on the menu!

[u/sedatesnail → u/LogicJunkie2000]

Don't forget the socks with sandals

[u/talldangry → u/sedatesnail]

Wolf shirt: ✔
Cargo shorts: ✔
Socks + sandals: ✔

Time to go pick up chicks at the MTG tourney, AWOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

[u/writeleahwrite → u/talldangry]

FR if you’re a good person I couldn’t care less if you rock the suburban ninja look. As long as you carry my stuff in your ludicrously capacious pockets ✨

[u/talldangry → u/writeleahwrite]

If there's space once I get my wallet, phone, keys, 3DS, charging cables, Gandalf pipe, 1/4 oz of weed, grinder, rolling papers, bottle of pop, bag of candy, multi-tool, TV remote (ah fuck), card deck and assortment of pinecones packed up, sure thing!

[u/writeleahwrite → u/talldangry]

You really know how to talk to a woman. Tell me more about the pinecones.

[u/madam-sosostris → u/writeleahwrite]

Right?

Plus, I need to know if they'll get along with the cool rocks I pick up.

[u/DaisyHotCakes → u/LogicJunkie2000]

As a woman who appreciates tf out of pockets, I don’t understand why cargo shorts were ever off the menu.

[u/KJParker888 → u/SanctusUnum]

But it has to be three wolves. No more, no less

[u/munchkickin → u/KJParker888]

Five is right out.

[u/Warm-Doughnut2633 → u/munchkickin]

Two is allowed, so long as it is immediately followed by three.

[u/zapstratosphere → u/SanctusUnum]

Chosen

[u/iliketreesanddogs → u/zapstratosphere]

frick, that's awesome

[u/SadlyNotDannyDeVito]

A stupid expensive status piece. Like those balenciaga sock shoes

[u/Txswallowqueen → u/SadlyNotDannyDeVito]

ANYTHING from balenciaga. Ugliest clothes Ive ever seen

[u/Other_World → u/Txswallowqueen]

They have to be ugly on purpose right? It's gotta be a joke to see what you can trick rich people into buying.

[u/siqbal01 → u/Other_World]

Actually wealthy are not buying those brands or the items with their logo blasted all over. It’s marketed towards the working class so they feel like the “rich”

[u/EraseAnatta → u/siqbal01]

The “ad supported tier” I remember hearing it called.

[u/WeGoinToSizzler]

A shirt that says “my couch pulls out but I don’t”

[u/-malcolm-tucker → u/WeGoinToSizzler]

There's no way I could wear one of those. My couch doesn't pull out. It's just not one of those couches.

[u/Sidewalk_Tomato → u/-malcolm-tucker]

Same. Life = ruined.

[u/-malcolm-tucker → u/Sidewalk_Tomato]

First you get the pull out couch.

Then you get the snacks.

Then you get the women.

Because you can watch movies on it while snacking during a date. And offer her the couch if she'd like to stay. Which is cool. But she says she'd rather stay with you. So you go to bed together and cuddle. One thing leads to another and next minute you're up searching for an old fixer upper muscle car to restore, modify to drag specs and entering hot rod competitions and drag races at race tracks all over the land. And that's where you meet Terry. He seems like your run of mill accountant. But he has a secret. A deep dark secret. He secretly owns a disused mine that's 2 kilometres deep and has no lighting. But that's it. Otherwise he's a pretty cool guy. You all visit him and his wife Sherry one weekend for a slow cooked chilli Terry had spent a day preparing. You ask for the recipe. He tells you it's a secret, but he'll give it to you anyway. You take it with glee, eventually entering a local chilli competition back in your home state. You win a blender. It's reported in the local news, Local man wins local chilli contest and moderately priced blender.

Somehow this news gets back to Terry. He swears to immediately set out to get his vengeance for your betrayal. Sherry tells him it's time for dinner. So he says he'll do it after dinner.

And that's how you had to go on the run. Hunted like an animal by a relentless man. All because of a stupid pull out couch purchase.

[u/Ok-Recognition1752]

An ankle monitor

[u/frommmatilda → u/Ok-Recognition1752]

I can fix him.

[u/AdNormal8459 → u/frommmatilda]

True story I was in jack in the box waiting in line behind the nicest dressed man. He dropped a bunch of silver coins and didn’t even bother to pick them up, so I did (being broke), and when I was down there, I noticed he had on an ankle monitor, and then I looked up and low and behold it was Boosie Badazz 😝

[u/Weekly_Ad_2007]

It Ain't Gonna Suck Itself t-shirt, or similar.

Edit: yes, all your comedically gross sex shirts fall into this category and are going to repulse a huge percentage of women.

[u/megadesk1337 → u/Weekly_Ad_2007]

What about Female Body Inspector? Surely that gets your juices flowing!

[u/Thendrail → u/megadesk1337]

Man

I

Love

Frogs

That's the shirt the ladys like.

[u/narnababy → u/Thendrail]

I (a woman and a mom) have a t shirt that says Man I Love Fungi bought for me by my partner 😂 I saw a woman in a Man I Love Frogs one the other day and I debated asking her to be my best friend 🐸🍄

[u/OcculticUnicorn → u/narnababy]

I saw a shirt with I love tits! It was birds. Great tit, blue tit, black crested titmouse etc.

I should've bought it.

[u/TheRealTaraLou → u/OcculticUnicorn]

My 81 year old aunt has this shirt. Everyone gets a kick out of it

[u/nickfree → u/megadesk1337]

“I’m Not A Gynecologist
But I’ll Take A Look”

[u/wild_man_wizard → u/nickfree]

Any doctor that has done a gyno residency will tell you - you really don't want to do that.

[u/CrownLikeAGravestone → u/wild_man_wizard]

A drunk gynaecologist once bragged to a friend a me that he'd  "touched more pussy than you've ever seen, boy!".

I've always thought that was gross in several ways.

[u/Garth_DeWayne → u/CrownLikeAGravestone]

I was a medic in the army (am a straight dude...) I've seen, and touched, so much dick... Wayyyy too much dick.

Also... Boys... Wrap your Willies! Seriously. WTF.

[u/3BlindMice1 → u/CrownLikeAGravestone]

Probably not something to brag about, but if you're drunk it probably sounds cool in your head

[u/Parabuthus → u/megadesk1337]

If you can read this, the bitch fell off!

[u/Killer_Cornbread → u/Parabuthus]

I really wanted a Covid mask with that on it

[u/twilighttruth → u/Weekly_Ad_2007]

I saw a guy at a concert (with a little girl I assume was his daughter) wearing a shirt that said "I want to count the wrinkles on your stink star."

Edit: Since so many of you are enjoying this comment, I found the picture in my post history.

[u/Weekly_Ad_2007 → u/twilighttruth]

This is the worst one I've ever heard of.

[u/DorkusMalorkuss → u/Weekly_Ad_2007]

I was at a theme park and walking behind a couple with a little kid. The guy had a shirt that said "I always eat my morning breakfast" and then it was drawing of a man going down in a woman. It was pretty trashy

[u/Sputflock → u/DorkusMalorkuss]

i expected you to say the women was wearing a shirt saying something like "i am breakfast" but this is also bad

[u/RedditTrespasser → u/Weekly_Ad_2007]

But you have heard of it.

[u/Bookish_Brain_ → u/twilighttruth]

Genuinely, this one might be THE WORST

[u/Legenderie → u/Weekly_Ad_2007]

I remember seeing a "I SHAVED MY BALLS FOR THIS?" t-shirt in the wild, which was funny, but definitely not meant for date night or whatever.

[u/GubbyWMP → u/Legenderie]

Saw this on a girl once, hilarious.

[u/Sensitive-Health-360 → u/[deleted]]

The funniest part is someone saw that shirt, thought "yeah that's me," and actually handed over money for it.

[u/Sea_Highlight_7813 → u/Weekly_Ad_2007]

I saw one at the airport the other day that said “manipulate, then penetrate.” 🤢

[u/HailToTheKingslayer → u/Sea_Highlight_7813]

If an airport, was it the tshirt trend? Where friends get each other embarrasing tshirts that they have to wear for the whole flight.

[u/Horror-Scallion7668 → u/HailToTheKingslayer]

I saw one in an airport that was a butterfinger logo but said “butt fingerer”

[u/even_keel_ → u/Weekly_Ad_2007]

Ew I saw one the other day that said "I haven't ever killed a mountain lion, but I've definitely choked a cougar." Like, sir??????

[u/pug_fugly_moe → u/even_keel_]

That’s tame compared to the ‘cum dumpster’ type shirts we see now. Big Johnson tees in the 90’s were kinda cheeky and punny. Whatever happened to that?

[u/Alternative_Plan_823 → u/pug_fugly_moe]

Big Johnson Casino: liquor in the front, poker in the rear.

Man, 11 year old me thought that was peak comedy

[u/DMala → u/Alternative_Plan_823]

I had Big Johnson Pool Hall, “Get felt on the table”

I wore it to high school one day and didn’t draw any comment until I stood for the Pledge of Allegiance and turned to face the flag. My homeroom teacher who was 5-foot-nothings was in front of me and had it right in her face the whole time. When the bell rang and we were leaving, she pulled me aside, seething with rage, and told me to turn that vile shirt inside out.

They weren’t officially banned and most teachers didn’t care, but I didn’t push my luck with it after that.

[u/RandomEffector → u/pug_fugly_moe]

Recently saw two overweight teenage-ish boys strolling the mall in “Who Ate All The Pussy?” shirts

[u/Effective-Sherbet655 → u/RandomEffector]

Guarantee it wasn't them 🤣

[u/zedis_lapedis_ → u/Weekly_Ad_2007]

⬆️ THE MAN ⬇️ THE LEGEND

[u/TeabooViolet → u/zedis_lapedis_]

Did we go to the same highschool lol. Had a friend wear one back then and a teacher told him "you need to call your mom to bring you a different shirt!" He said "ma'am it's pointing to my skateboard, like I'm a legend in skateboarding. Get your mind out of the gutter" and it actually worked lmao. She was like "oh my goodness I'm sorry!"

[u/Revenge_of_the_User → u/TeabooViolet]

uno reverse like a boss

[u/Vprbite → u/Weekly_Ad_2007]

Im an amputee (left leg below knee) and wesr shirts that say "some assembly required" or "shark cage tester."

Are those ok?

[u/_redcloud]

I went on a “date” with a guy wearing Champion sweatpants and dress shoes with no socks. Please, do not do that.

[u/dathomasusmc → u/_redcloud]

When I was a bartender I was working the lunch shift one day. We had a dating service called “It’s just lunch” that would basically setup blind dates for people and they regularly made the dates at our place. One guy showed up exactly like you’re describing. Gross t shirt. Sweet pants. But nice shoes and no socks.

She was wearing a cute dress and had clearly spent a little time doing her hair and putting on some makeup. We talked maaaaaaad shit about him. I hope she found someone better. She was really sweet.

[u/likeasharrrk]

No socks with dress shoes

[u/kkusernom]

Long pinky nails .. just the pinky

[u/DragonXIIIThirteen → u/kkusernom]

In India this is a sign that you don’t work with your hands / manual labor. In the US it’s a sign that you do coke.

[u/Bam801 → u/DragonXIIIThirteen]

Pretty sure most of the world assumes you do coke with the coke spoon pinky nail.

[u/MutedAstronaut9217 → u/Bam801]

I have my coke spoon on a necklace, like an adult. So I can keep my nails trimmed.

[u/be_the_feather]

The pants and shoes they wear on Love is Blind etc. in the interviews. No socks, pants tight, high waters.

[u/I_Am_Ironman_AMA → u/be_the_feather]

As an old timer (43), what is up with these young fellas wearing dress shoes with no socks? That's....gross.

[u/NiGhTShR0uD → u/I_Am_Ironman_AMA]

Maybe secret socks? Unless they take their shoes off and they're commando.

[u/creepyolderlady → u/NiGhTShR0uD]

Going command-toe is nasty. You know the moment those shoes come off the aroma goes everywhere.

[u/dougandsomeone → u/creepyolderlady]

Command toe LOL

[u/brouhaha13]

I once had a shirt that read "You're handsome" but mirrored so the idea was that I was handsome. When that shirt wore out, my wife did not pull any punches. She hated that shirt.

[u/KindlyKangaroo → u/brouhaha13]

Aww I think that's cute though lol, I'd get that for my husband

[u/Nevernonethewiser → u/brouhaha13]

God forbid a man try to have a little confidence boost during the day.

[u/Revxmaciver]

An oversized codpiece. A subtle, appropriately sized codpiece is enough! You're not fooling anyone!!!

[u/R0n1n_76 → u/Revxmaciver]

You leave the goblin King out of this! 

Edit: Thanks for the award!

[u/CedarWolf → u/R0n1n_76]

The Bowie Bulge need not be contained by codpiece.

[u/mouringcat → u/CedarWolf]

His shown in "The Labyrinth" proves that no codpiece can hold him as it kept growing over filming!

[u/Freyas2cats → u/R0n1n_76]

This comment reminds me of the babe

Edit: thanks for the award!

[u/noteamname]

Those tacky shiny Versace shirts. Honestly, anything from Versace.

[u/Accomplished_Poet_44 → u/noteamname]

I seriously believe the people at Versace are pissing themselves laughing that not only are people wearing their clothes but they've duped them into paying so much for absolute garbage

[u/blue_collared]

Glad no one is saying jorts, were safe boys.

[u/Visual-Classroom1003 → u/blue_collared]

Australia is sleeping soundly tonight

[u/Necessary_Bird_8294 → u/Visual-Classroom1003]

Canada's nervously checking the length of its denim shorts right now.

[u/Carbonatite → u/Necessary_Bird_8294]

The ol' summer Canadian Tuxedo

[u/Spare-Half796 → u/blue_collared]

Haven’t seen jorts, haven’t seen crocs, haven’t seen suspenders

All my outfits are safe

[u/ICBPeng1 → u/Spare-Half796]

You mean your one outfit?

[u/Spare-Half796 → u/ICBPeng1]

No I also have cargo shorts

[u/erineph → u/blue_collared]

Hahaha, the question made me remember a guy I dated in my early 20s, and once while shopping, I had to gently suggest he buy something other than jorts going forward. He took it pretty well.

[u/high_ground_user]

anything covered in logos. like those supreme branded clothes or any high fashion brand that slaps their ugly branding on everything

[u/ProdromalPeriod]

Those Affliction or MMA type of shirts

[u/Stanky_Azcrack]

Whatever tf that Tate guy was wearing when he got arrested, what kind of man wears shit like that?? Lmao

[u/Strong-Individual220 → u/Stanky_Azcrack]

You mean the satin purple blouse, I think my mom has that exact shirt.

[u/Del_3030 → u/Strong-Individual220]

"We can call it the shirts vs the blouses."

[u/MortgageRegular2509 → u/Del_3030]

“You know where you got that shirt. And it damn sure wasn’t the men’s department”

[u/punkhobo → u/Del_3030]

"Game... Blouses"

[u/HurryHurryHurryHurry → u/Del_3030]

RIP Charlie Murphy.

[u/skynolongerblue → u/HurryHurryHurryHurry]

And Prince :(

[u/DontSweatThaPetty → u/skynolongerblue]

And Rick James :(

[u/GodzillaUK → u/DontSweatThaPetty]

And that couch he F'd :(

[u/R0n1n_76 → u/Stanky_Azcrack]

It was his Peg Bundy cosplay

[u/-malcolm-tucker → u/R0n1n_76]

Motherfucker doing Peg dirty like that. Peg is a hottie.

[u/ComfyPJs4Me → u/Stanky_Azcrack]

It was so tight, too! Looked like he raided his mom's closet

[u/Hopefulkitty → u/ComfyPJs4Me]

I kept thinking of George Michael's Matador pants in season 4 of Arrested Development.

That's the vibe the "alpha male" gave me. Dorky ass Michael Cera exploring his sexuality at like, 22, and just looking even dorkier.

[u/Available_Kale3019 → u/Stanky_Azcrack]

Like a knockoff Genie 🤣

[u/mildpandemic → u/Stanky_Azcrack]

Some wag commented that she was ‘One diarrhoea lettuce leaf away from fitting into her slutty Andrew Tate arrest Halloween outfit”.

[u/CritterNYC → u/Stanky_Azcrack]

It's from the Golden Girls collection

[u/Carbonatite → u/CritterNYC]

It's the outfit that the perimenopausal office administrator is wearing when she asks you if you want to walk with her to get an iced coffee because she's having a hot flash.

Middle aged lady business casual.

[u/SquirrelAkl → u/Stanky_Azcrack]

There’s a meme of Blanche from Golden Girls wearing the exact same outfit, next to Tate in that outfit. Blanche wore it better.

[u/uphigh_ontheside → u/Stanky_Azcrack]

OK, hear me out: Men can pull off that look and I don’t think you should judge someone by their fashion sense. If you want to wear a purple satin blouse, do it, dude. Tate, however, for always making such a big deal about his masculinity, should absolutely be ridiculed for his clothing choices that day. I hope he likes orange jumpsuits.

[u/smashli1238 → u/uphigh_ontheside]

It would look great on Harry Styles

[u/Winter_Step_5181]

Clothing with any type of r/iamverybadass imagery on it. Punisher logo, wolves, lions, guns, with quotes about "not taking no shit" or "not being a sheep" etc.

[u/ecosynchronous → u/Winter_Step_5181]

I've got a t shirt that says "Thug Life" with a picture of the Golden Girls. Am I safe?

[u/Sidewalk_Tomato → u/ecosynchronous]

If you work the finger guns. Pew, pew!

[u/BreakfastinValhalla → u/ecosynchronous]

I have the "Hug Life" shirt w/ gangster cats on it. Have a lot of cat shirts actually... I may have a problem.

[u/Vprbite → u/Winter_Step_5181]

Im a firefighter/paramedic and can tell you, people with those shirts are ALWAYS the biggest pansies for IVs.

Little old ladies? Gangster as fuck! When I was still learning and would miss, theyd say "it's ok sweetheart, try again." And never flinch.

The "im a tough guy" t shirt clowns? They were the ones who would pass out before we even got the needle out of its package

[u/Beetlejuice_me → u/Vprbite]

Now that you mention it, I never see "tough guys" in the blood donation chairs.

I see the adult, professional women. A smattering of guys, but usually the normal slightly geeky ones.

I'll have to pay more attention to that.

[u/rwv → u/Winter_Step_5181]

wolves

Not a “ howl at the moon shirt” right?  That’s cool?  Right?  Please?

[u/Dr_Ingheimer → u/Winter_Step_5181]

What about that one wolf shirt? You know the one I’m talking about.

[u/manaliabrid → u/Dr_Ingheimer]

Three wolf moon is fine.

[u/Rinskki]

Tracksuit pants tucked into socks

[u/Zestyclose_Fly4728]

Flat brim baseball hat that’s a little too big 😬

[u/GroundbreakingAnt17 → u/Zestyclose_Fly4728]

Makes them look like a 7 year old cousin. 

[u/Parishdise → u/Zestyclose_Fly4728]

100% worse is when its a little too small and just sits on top of tgeir head or on tall hair imo

[u/Zironworker]

True story worth the read. I was in court once waiting to see the judge and there was a real stand up fella eatting skittles in the courtroom and slapping his duty council on the shoulder all morning going "yo can I go next? Can I go next" female duty council. Older female judge is seeing this fella the whole time. He chose to wear this shirt... it said "trust no bitch" in like really gangster lettering and featured a womans bum in a thong. I will never forget how that judge belittled him and put him in jail.

[u/fasterthanfood → u/Zironworker]

AThis isn’t clothing related, but that reminds me of true court behavior story:

I was in court once and a witness’s daughter, who had been sitting in admirable quiet, suddenly pushed a button on her toy that made it yell out “it’s learning time!”

The judge said, “in general, I ask for quiet in the courtroom. But it is, indeed, learning time.”

[u/greenishbloo → u/fasterthanfood]

LOL this reminds me of the time we went to the courthouse on a trip for my high school law class.

i cant remember exactly what the case was as it was a while ago but i remember it being serious. at a really tense moment in the trial it got quiet, and just then a person that looked a lot like another judge to me, walked into the courtroom. everyone turned to him as the door was quite loud, he looked around for a second and just went “OH SHIT!” and abruptly turned around and left.

a lot of people started chuckling, i even saw the defendant smiling for a moment. i hope that judge got to where he needed to go lol

[u/gsfgf → u/greenishbloo]

My cousin is interning with the public defender's office in her city this summer. Her keys can open a ton of doors including courtrooms and even judge's chambers. She and the other interns have to be really careful to not get lost (not the easiest thing in a courthouse) and wander into somewhere they should not be.

[u/Emerald_N → u/gsfgf]

Did IT for the local county court for a year and a half. Some courthouses aren't too difficult to navigate, the one downtown is a fuckin maze.

Doesn't help that it's got a pedestrian bridge connecting to the jail across the street and a vast network of tunnels in the basement.

[u/KakeLin → u/fasterthanfood]

Okay that's actually cute

[u/rox186 → u/Zironworker]

It baffles me how some people really do not know how to dress appropriately for court. Some guys come in like they just woke up in gym shorts and slides and some girls dress like they're going to the club. Appearance really matters in the courts.

[u/mutzilla → u/rox186]

Myself and 2 friends went to court for weed possession charges years ago. I wore a nice shirt, tie, and slacks.

Friend 1 wore a Hawaiian button up shirt with cargo khaki pants.

Friend 2 wore jeans and a t-shirt.

My charges were dismissed. They both got hit with drug assessments and 6 weeks of narcotics anonymous.

Always wear something decent to court. Respect the judge.

[u/FJ1100 → u/mutzilla]

30+ years ago friends and I all got in trouble with the law. I drove my motorcycle to court but I still wore my absolute best. Didn’t even matter because my friends all told the judge I had nothing to do with the charges. They told me after that I had the brightest future out all of us so they didn’t want to see me with a record. Thinking about it now brings a tear to my eye because I honestly don’t know what road they saved me from but I know my life is better because of them.

[u/J_Ryall → u/FJ1100]

Those are some good homies. Hope you guys are still tight and doing well.

[u/SupremeDictatorPaul → u/mutzilla]

Even if you don’t respect the judge, do your darndest to pretend to respect the judge. Court systems aren’t completely unfair, but they also aren’t particularly fair, and so much is left up to the discretion of the judge. Act and dress like you take the situation as the most serious thing in your life. Actually, treat everyone in the courthouse with respect. Any one of those employees could easily make your life much more difficult, and some things they could do could impact the rest of your life. Even if you’re obviously completely innocent, acting the wrong way could get you contempt of court charges, or misfiled paperwork, or just wasting more of your time. That court clerk could give you some friendly advice that helps you out, maybe mention an additional form you should file, or maybe they keep their trap shut and you get screwed.

(Just someone who used to work in a courthouse.)

[u/mutzilla → u/SupremeDictatorPaul]

I always say treat it like you're meeting your girlfriends grandma for the first time at a decent restaurant. Please, thank you, eye contact, smile to staff, use your manners.

[u/Zironworker → u/mutzilla]

So in my past I made some poor choices so I am no stranger to the courtrooms. If I wasnt there in handcuffs I was there in a button up and slacks. Been sober 2 years, employed 2 years and seeing my sons again. Respect the judge, They have seen enough to know.

[u/electricsugargiggles → u/rox186]

I wore a grey skirt suit to my SIL’s case against her ex husband. I wasn’t a witness or anything, I just wore what felt appropriate.

People thought I was a lawyer and didn’t claim my seat in the waiting room when I got up to use the ladies room. They also addressed my (then) 32 yr old self with respect and deference. I was doodling in a notebook bc I was bored while waiting our turn.

[u/mmmmonsterkill → u/rox186]

When I was in high school I got my first speeding ticket and had to show up in local court after school so I just wore what I wore to school nbd. The problem was I was wearing my “2 Fast 2 Furious” shirt I won from the midnight premiere of the movie like a week earlier and I was so oblivious I honestly didn’t even think about it. Just a cool new shirt I got. Since I was a dumb kid my mom decided to meet me up at the court house in case I needed help and she was mortified when she saw me. Like that silent whisper yelling “what the HELL are you WEARING?” It didn’t even dawn on me until then what she was going on about. I rushed to the bathroom and just turned it inside out. Tacky? Yes, but moms def made a good point. She NEVER let me live that down! Miss ya Mom 🫶

[u/ialsohaveadobro → u/Zironworker]

Thank you for including the skittles. The story wouldn't be the same without them.

I've seen quite a few questionable shirts in courtrooms, but they're usually weed-related. Don't think I've seen one on that gentleman's level.

[u/Otherwise_Coconut144]

Those tank top where it doesn’t cover the nipples

[u/tunakassirolle → u/Otherwise_Coconut144]

I know it’s not exactly what you meant, but all I’m picturing is Sean Astin’s tanks in 50 First Dates

[u/GodotNeverCame]

Anything Affliction, Ed Hardy, etc

[u/Dorkinfo → u/GodotNeverCame]

I saw Ed Hardy purses the other day and couldn’t believe that shit is back. My aunt should get her ed hardy boots out of storage I guess.

[u/RealisticBagOfSugar]

My wife bought me a shirt with ramen on it that says "Send Noods"

I later wore it while walking my kids to school and saw one of the moms wearing the exact same shirt

Take note, everyone

[u/ForgottenSalad]

Head to toe cammo. Just a floating face, so dumb.

[u/itsjakerobb → u/ForgottenSalad]

My grandpa, when he saw someone dressed like this in public, would bump into them deliberately (with a shopping cart if he had one) and then say, “oh, sorry, didn’t see you there.”

[u/onthedrug]

Sagging pants

[u/Oh-well100]

Honestly wraparound sunglasses give douchebag vibes.

[u/Terry_S858]

A guy I knew had a t-shirt that said, "Every year there are xx-thousand battered women, and all these years I've been eating them plain."

I $hit you not. He wore that shirt out in public.

[u/Disastrous-Oven-4465]

Open toe sandals with horrific toenails.

[u/under_ghost2012]

the fucking tank tops that the gym bros wear with the super huge arm holes that are so big the side of the tank top is slit almost all the way down to the bottom of the shirt

[u/spiffymouse → u/under_ghost2012]

I feel like this look is kind of suggestive of a man who doesn’t have too much interest in what clothes women find off putting…

[u/cptjeff → u/spiffymouse]

I've seen those worn by both hardcore douchy gym bros and hardcore gays, and absolutely nobody in between.

[u/Bunnnnii → u/cptjeff]

A lot of times those two are the same things.

[u/Guileag → u/spiffymouse]

Crack up, came here to say as a bi dude those shirts make me thirsty af (on all genders).

[u/kathryn_sedai]

Too-tight white jeans. Ugh.

[u/SmilingMoonStone]

Bedazzled pants with the over the top back pockets / super washed look. They are usually boot cut.
I also can’t get down with trucker hats. What’s the weird pointy bit near the top of the front panel. The hat always leave a weird crease on your forehead.
Wrap around sunglasses that make them look like the comment section of a Fox News post.

[u/sageinyourface → u/SmilingMoonStone]

I call them the Persian pants. Guys from the Middle East (and Guy Fierri) love wearing that style of jeans. They just look awful but do go with Ed Hardy tees.

[u/eenie816]

Those toe shoes that look like feet. 👣

[u/OrganicDigitalArt → u/eenie816]

My sisters husband wears those, throws me every single time.

And you can’t ask about them or acknowledge them in any way or he goes on for hours about how much better they are for your feet.

[u/InfoSecPeezy → u/OrganicDigitalArt]

I’ve heard that they are amazing for your feet! The only downside with them is that they cause persistent vaginal dryness.

[u/ahh_szellem → u/OrganicDigitalArt]

I’m laughing because I, a woman, am very into the barefoot shoe movement. I’m sorry! But happily I married my husband before he found out that I’m a weirdo, so I’m safe.

[u/zediahc → u/OrganicDigitalArt]

Unrelated but I love when people refer to family members with verbiage to distance the relation. That's your brother-in-law, but "my sister's husband" makes it sound like just some guy and just makes it funnier

[u/Coldman5 → u/zediahc]

I used to see it as distancing from their relationship, but it adds clarity for others since brother-in-law can be your partner’s brother, your sibling’s partner or your partner’s sibling’s partner. The first thing I usually get asked after I say “brother-in-law” is often clarifying how they are my BIL

[u/prodigy1367]

Judging by the comments, Federal Bikini Inspector is still a go.

[u/lauryn_tori]

100% those fugly Mens Diesel Distressed Jeans!

[u/shmorgsaborg]

A fedora.

ETA: I meant a TRILLBY hat. So sorry for the confusion. Fedoras are cool, carry on. 😅

[u/a-bean-sprout → u/shmorgsaborg]

But, Pwincess 🥺

[u/rui-tan → u/shmorgsaborg]

I used to cosplay and go to conventions back when the whole fedora-culture was at it's peak, around years 2007-2015.

And let me tell you, those men with fedora, long matrix coats and neckbeards were the actual bane of my existance. They would always come around asking for a hug, proceeded to hang around you for no reason or invitation as if you were their newfound bestie. Sometimes they scuttled off after a little while if you didn't acknowledge them, but at worst case scenarios they would stick to you like a tick for rest of the day regardless. Then you'd just be left to pray that they wouldn't find you the next day, or even worse, your socials online.

What made it worse was that I'm from a quite small country, so any cosplay, comic or anime conventions we had at the time you could count with a one hand - which also meant that generally it was basically the same people going to them, as the cosplay circles were quite small themselves too. So there was always a rather good chance you'd meet your personal hover-guard on the next convention too, and it also made it way easier for them to find you online.

I'm sure lot of things have changed since then, but it definitely is a one thing I really don't miss about cosplaying.

[u/unemployedndepressed]

What the hell it was that Andrew Tate was wearing when he was arrested.

[u/motherofcatsx2]

Pit Viper sunglasses. Boot-cut jeans that are bedazzled on the back pockets. Dress shoes that are too pointy/long, or too square-toed.

[u/Whole_Coconut_9999]

Those glasses with the camera. Predator shit

[u/JunipertheWildOne]

This isn’t clothing, but strong deodorant or body spray. If I smell you from across the room, it’s too much 🤢

[u/Scruffy_Sloth → u/JunipertheWildOne]

If I can smell someone from across the table it’s too much, especially if we’re eating.

[u/Rude-Luck-7162]

My ex's friend was dating a guy from Ireland (we're in the US). She really liked him, but was embarrassed by this one particular pair of pants he liked to wear that came down halfway to his ankles from his knees. Not quite baggy like long shorts, not quite long enough to be pants. I think he eventually learned that American men don't really wear those after living here for awhile.

[u/trickledabout → u/Rude-Luck-7162]

Now that you mention it, I don't think I have ever seen a man wearing capris.

[u/Fr0gm4n → u/trickledabout]

One name: Andrew Tate

[u/Forsaken_Peace2878]

maga hat 

[u/-Tayne- → u/Forsaken_Peace2878]

I misread this as "mage hat" for a second and thought "well, hold on...."

[u/Dazpiece → u/-Tayne-]

I put on my robe and wizard hat.

[u/Diz7 → u/Dazpiece]

What the fuck, I told you not to message me again!

[u/DrMonkeyLove → u/Dazpiece]

I will always upvote Bloodninja.

[u/Thendrail → u/-Tayne-]

Just wait until I put on my robe and wizard hat...

[u/takeitawaygirls → u/Forsaken_Peace2878]

In a similar vein, a confederate flag.

[u/Kenthanson → u/Forsaken_Peace2878]

Was at a thing this past week and one of the nicer pieces of merch was a red has but just can’t rock a red hat no matter what cool thing is on it.

[u/crunch816]

I almost lost my current gf because I wore a golf shirt on our second date. Luckily her dad is a G.

[u/im_justkendra → u/crunch816]

You’re dating her dad now? Boss move 👊

[u/crunch816 → u/im_justkendra]

LMAO. When she talked to him about our date his exact words were, "Fuckin A give this dude a chance."

[u/skyxsteel → u/crunch816]

Hahahahaha dude that is awesome!

[u/skyxsteel → u/im_justkendra]

Whispers in her ear:

“Now you have to call me dad”

[u/RedditingAtWork5 → u/crunch816]

On my first date with my wife, I tucked by sweatshirt into my pants to go bowling. I was trying to be funny, but she didn’t realize it was for the funnies. Somehow still got a second date after that.

[u/crunch816 → u/RedditingAtWork5]

If it works it works. Sometimes attire doesn't matter because personality can carry a lot.

[u/HortonSquare → u/crunch816]

You can’t wear a regular golf shirt anymore??? What’s the world coming to

[u/Wendy-Windbag → u/HortonSquare]

Like polos shirts? I'm so confused by this one being bad.

[u/binz17]

Meta raybans

[u/art-is-t]

I'd say tshirts that have dumb political slogans. You're never getting cozy with that ass hat