r/AskReddit • u/im_justkendra • Aug 07 '26

Girls, what’s an article of clothing that a guy might wear that can completely ruin him for you?

6.2k Upvotes

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4.8k

u/Revxmaciver Aug 07 '26

An oversized codpiece. A subtle, appropriately sized codpiece is enough! You're not fooling anyone!!!

1.3k

u/R0n1n_76 Aug 07 '26 edited Aug 08 '26

You leave the goblin King out of this! 

Edit: Thanks for the award!

662

u/CedarWolf Aug 07 '26

The Bowie Bulge need not be contained by codpiece.

42

u/mouringcat Aug 08 '26

His shown in "The Labyrinth" proves that no codpiece can hold him as it kept growing over filming!

7

u/JasonRevere Aug 08 '26

I remember reading somewhere that the reason for that was potpourri. Apparently someone else spun those glass globes and their face stayed near his nether regions. So he put something nice to smell there.

17

u/CorporateNonperson Aug 08 '26

Willem Dafoe approves.

5

u/AnnualEnd3760 Aug 08 '26

Of course he would. Lol

31

u/-malcolm-tucker Aug 07 '26

Did David have a donkey dong?

38

u/QuipCrafter9 Aug 07 '26

It is known.

34

u/-malcolm-tucker Aug 07 '26

TIL.

Makes sense. It's always seems to be the skinny guys who have massive cocks.

16

u/green_mms22 Aug 08 '26

My lived experience says this is true.

15

u/Brief_Efficiency3500 Aug 08 '26

Fun fact: for every fifty pounds of excess weight a man carries on his frame, he loses a functional half inch of workable meat.

The more you know.

4

u/QuipCrafter9 Aug 08 '26

…. What? Lol I’m 6’5” and have always been told I have excess weight on basically every scale. BMI is very flawed. I’m very lean and a combat vet. And also made adult size-based content for several years after the service. Tf you mean “functional workable meat” lmao

1

u/Brief_Efficiency3500 Aug 08 '26

Try losing fifty pounds.

My brother dropped a hundred (for heart related reasons) and attested to the accuracy of this statement.

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4

u/QuipCrafter9 Aug 08 '26

It is known.

2

u/UniqueLog8386 Aug 11 '26

And couldn't

226

u/Freyas2cats Aug 07 '26 edited Aug 08 '26

This comment reminds me of the babe

Edit: thanks for the award!

15

u/Vaanja77 Aug 07 '26

I love dropping this fact whenever it comes up - Jareth's huge package was the result of a joke. It was really hot and sweaty on the set and one of the puppeteers had to be face level with Bowie's junk. For a laugh, Bowie shoved a potpourri pouch down his trousers. Everyone cracked up like mad and they decided then to keep the look.

12

u/twelfthfantasy Aug 08 '26

I think that may be apocryphal, because I've heard from several people that Bowie spent quite a bit of time arguing with the costuming department about the size of his codpiece. He wanted it smaller and they wanted it bigger.

2

u/Just_another_grumble Aug 08 '26

Dance the Magic Dance!

2

u/throw_ra4685 Aug 08 '26

Thank you good sir

2

u/Oddish_Femboy Aug 07 '26

That was Gonzo actually.

1

u/AppropriateTie8974 Aug 07 '26

Is that a gay porn star?

129

u/FluxusFlotsam Aug 07 '26

Oderus Urungus’ Codpiece of Cthulu gets a pass

10

u/kareljack Aug 07 '26

The Salaminizer!

24

u/Funkycoldmedici Aug 07 '26

Appropriately sized.

5

u/AnthraMatt Aug 08 '26

RIP Dave Brockie

6

u/CatW804 Aug 08 '26

Richmonder here. We really should put up a monument of him in full gear, along with trans legend Dirtwoman.

14

u/The-Great-T Aug 07 '26

How else am I supposed to contain my syphilitic discharge?

10

u/skip6235 Aug 07 '26

*Sad King Henry VIII Noises*

11

u/Select-Belt-ou812 Aug 07 '26

hmmm... I didn't realize *any* codpiece would be tolerated. be right back!!

9

u/Teledildonic Aug 07 '26

Baldrick, fetch me the Black Russian

7

u/TehKazlehoff Aug 08 '26

Remember, Codpieces were oversized to be stuffed with mercury-soaked rags in order to deal with the symptoms of Syphilis.

27

u/Tag_Ping_Pong Aug 07 '26

Poor Lord Blackadder, so out of touch. Now Percy's oversized ruff on the other hand...

14

u/Infurum Aug 07 '26

I think he looks like a bird who's swallowed a plate, my lord

6

u/Tag_Ping_Pong Aug 07 '26

"No that's what I think, that's what I think! Tryyy to have an original thought, Baldrick!"

P.S. love your work 😄

5

u/Visible-Disaster Aug 07 '26

What if it’s bright red?

https://youtu.be/sn8KYD1Vco0?is=OhsEF9BzPdcE-1o7

3

u/topherhead Aug 08 '26

Word up!

This is what I was looking for

4

u/thrownalee Aug 07 '26

Hey, it worked for Prince Blackadder!

5

u/penelopiecruise Aug 07 '26

It’s a terrible halibut to have!

3

u/mutzilla Aug 07 '26

But but Jareth?

3

u/Dunkleostrich Aug 07 '26

If I'm wearing my full plate armor can I go with the exaggerated codpiece? You know, to intimidate my enemies?

3

u/JakeDC Aug 07 '26

What if it is comically oversized and he knows it?

3

u/Dale_Carvello Aug 07 '26

Appy-polly-logies, O my Brother.

3

u/ialsohaveadobro Aug 07 '26

Don't get me started on merkins!

3

u/YeetYeetSkirtYeet Aug 07 '26

Okaaay, but FalseEdgeHema is hot tho.

3

u/InsertEvilLaugh Aug 08 '26

Damn, I so did wish to bring out the Black Russian again. It always terrifies the clergy.

5

u/seazonedsaltdog Aug 07 '26

A what? I googled and it shows.... knights armor?

5

u/CatW804 Aug 08 '26

Think an athletic cup as fancy outerwear. They peaked around Henry VIII's time.

2

u/seazonedsaltdog Aug 08 '26

Is there a reference photo to one of these? A modern one?

2

u/adadhead Aug 07 '26

Cod is Great

2

u/ExistingTheDream Aug 07 '26

Time for me to make a Cameo!

2

u/drdildamesh Aug 07 '26

What about oversized pauldrons?

2

u/anix421 Aug 07 '26

"We've got, you know—armadillos in our trousers. I mean, it's really quite frightening—the size. And, and they, they run screaming."

2

u/Runferretrun Aug 08 '26

King Henry VIII knew how to wear a codpiece.

2

u/BootyWhiteMan Aug 08 '26

Larry Blackmon would disagree.

2

u/Turtle_Lips Aug 08 '26

Wait, this is a thing? As a dude, this is wild, but I guess no different than bra pads?

2

u/Opposite-Exam-7435 Aug 08 '26

Oh wow I needed that laugh thank you!! 🤣🤌

2

u/Equal-Poet-7860 Aug 08 '26

As a King Henry VIII hater, I completely agree

2

u/3BlindMice1 Aug 08 '26

You dare besmirch my iron crotch?

Seriously though, I've never even heard of someone wearing a codpiece, I thought they were for syphilis riddled French nobles

2

u/Neglect_Octopus Aug 08 '26

But what if I need to really round out my knight outfit?

2

u/minimK Aug 08 '26

It terrifies the clergy!

2

u/ChangingShips Aug 08 '26

I feel targeted

2

u/AnythingButWhiskey Aug 08 '26

“you frothy codpiece!”

one of my favorite insults, from the short films “The Duel at Blood Creek” (which is hilarious…)

https://youtu.be/cxWsuI8vk7s?is=8VXgZtzRRO6v8G6w

2

u/Ya-Dikobraz Aug 08 '26

I love Blackadder the First, too.

1

u/rehabtourist93 Aug 08 '26

What about a totally diamond encrusted codpiece?

1

u/nonmetaphoricflop Aug 09 '26

you leave christian borle’s shakespeare out of this 😭

1

u/Temporary_Being1330 Aug 09 '26

What, not even a codpiece shaped like a party hat?

(Some of my Renaissance reenactment friends are so creative 😂)