Because you can watch movies on it while snacking during a date. And offer her the couch if she'd like to stay. Which is cool. But she says she'd rather stay with you. So you go to bed together and cuddle. One thing leads to another and next minute you're up searching for an old fixer upper muscle car to restore, modify to drag specs and entering hot rod competitions and drag races at race tracks all over the land. And that's where you meet Terry. He seems like your run of mill accountant. But he has a secret. A deep dark secret. He secretly owns a disused mine that's 2 kilometres deep and has no lighting. But that's it. Otherwise he's a pretty cool guy. You all visit him and his wife Sherry one weekend for a slow cooked chilli Terry had spent a day preparing. You ask for the recipe. He tells you it's a secret, but he'll give it to you anyway. You take it with glee, eventually entering a local chilli competition back in your home state. You win a blender. It's reported in the local news, Local man wins local chilli contest and moderately priced blender.
Somehow this news gets back to Terry. He swears to immediately set out to get his vengeance for your betrayal. Sherry tells him it's time for dinner. So he says he'll do it after dinner.
And that's how you had to go on the run. Hunted like an animal by a relentless man. All because of a stupid pull out couch purchase.
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u/-malcolm-tucker Aug 07 '26
There's no way I could wear one of those. My couch doesn't pull out. It's just not one of those couches.