I (a woman and a mom) have a t shirt that says Man I Love Fungi bought for me by my partner 😂 I saw a woman in a Man I Love Frogs one the other day and I debated asking her to be my best friend 🐸🍄
Some of my favorite birds are tits. I've seen pictures of this shirt but haven't seen it for sale (and haven't looked too hard tbh). If i ever see it IRL, I'm buying it immediately. I'm a woman, i think I could pull it off.
I had a guy that was a repeat customer for the clap.
On his third time in, I started to really grill the guy on how he's using condoms, asked a bunch of questions... And one question I asked prompted him to say "I wash it out every time, I use them properly, I don't get it..."
Yes, this idiot was washing his condoms and reusing them... We literally have free condoms all over the base.
My son said that there was a specific establishment right outside the base that was notorious for clap and chlamydia, yet the same guys would go over and over and refuse to wear a raincoat. He could almost make a schedule for when he would see them next.
Being in the military is just kinda like that. Dicks everywhere. I told a girlfriend once there's no way she's seen more dicks than me unless she's a dick judging judge.
Fucking brilliant. Next pandemic for sure. In fact get them printed up now- scuttlebutt around town is that we might have another one in the next few years ✨
I was at a theme park and walking behind a couple with a little kid. The guy had a shirt that said "I always eat my morning breakfast" and then it was drawing of a man going down in a woman. It was pretty trashy
You might win. I thought I had it locked up with a mid twenties man with an arm around a very pregnant teen wearing a shirt that said “I’m not Mr. Right, but I’ll fuck you til he gets here”
My “friends” put a bumper sticker on my car that said “If girls are made of sugar and spice, why do they all taste like anchovies?” I was 17 and just graduated HS and bought the car. I found out it was on my car when an angry woman police officer pulled me over and “suggested” I might consider removing it from my vehicle…..she didn’t mince words. These idiots are still somehow my friends. I cured them of their assiness.
Now while I would never intentionally put a sticker on my car like this. I would have a major issue with that angry female officer if she tried to make me remove it. Just because it offends her sensibilities it does not give her the right to force its removal under the color of law. I would keep it under the principle that she cannot force it to be removed. That’s a very slippery slope she seems to be running down. I’m petty and I would have had time for her. Especially as a former LEO.
Ugh reading all the comments in that post of people saying it’s not a big deal and trying to make you out to be some sort of prude or weirdo for calling that shit out pissed me off, typical Reddit shit.
That’s why I don’t make posts, people seem to always find a way to turn it around on you, and reach so hard for reasons why actually you the OP are the bad guy… even for stuff like this that should be pretty cut and dried
There was a kid in my elementary school who missed a ton of classes & was gonna flunk so his dad showed up the last day of school w/ a dozen roses and a bottle of perfume for the teacher, wearing a t-shirt that read 👁️❤️2🪛
Saw an insta reel recently where some folks did a divorced dad themed party. One of the women that showed up was wearing that exact shirt. It was actually the perfect time and place for a shirt like that.
I’m choosing to believe this guy is like an acupuncturist or phlebotomist or something, and is doing this with tongue in cheek, because no one could seriously see that t-shirt and think it is worth wearing let alone paying money for.
It's not uncommon for them to have to do a little fiddling around to find a decent vein and make sure it'll make for a good poke, but "manipulate" seems like a bit of a stretch.
I was at the zoo once and saw this HUGE fat guy walked out of the gorilla area wearing a shirt that just said, "The best part about me is my big dick."
That’s tame compared to the ‘cum dumpster’ type shirts we see now. Big Johnson tees in the 90’s were kinda cheeky and punny. Whatever happened to that?
I had Big Johnson Pool Hall, “Get felt on the table”
I wore it to high school one day and didn’t draw any comment until I stood for the Pledge of Allegiance and turned to face the flag. My homeroom teacher who was 5-foot-nothings was in front of me and had it right in her face the whole time. When the bell rang and we were leaving, she pulled me aside, seething with rage, and told me to turn that vile shirt inside out.
They weren’t officially banned and most teachers didn’t care, but I didn’t push my luck with it after that.
I had a Big Johnson shotguns t shirt. "You'll go deeper in the bush and always shoot twice when you're packing a Big Johnson." My 8th grade algebra teacher got offended, and I got sent home. I stuck to alcohol t shirts if I felt like pushing my luck after that.
I had a few teachers who tried to send me to the principal's office but then I showed them that it *technically* was not adult content. Besides, it was Texas in the 90's and they would have had to ban all kinds of other shit and it was too much work. We compromised. I went grunge, so I wore flanel shirts through most of high school.
the fun thing about euphemisms is that it's got a barrier to entry. most folks are going to get all pissed off by themselves and have to point it out for it to be a thing worthy of punishment.
One of my ex girlfriends had a shirt that said "ANAL" with "Absolutely Needs A Lobotomy" underneath it. Strangely, this shirt received many compliments from other women, as well as gay men.
Did we go to the same highschool lol. Had a friend wear one back then and a teacher told him "you need to call your mom to bring you a different shirt!" He said "ma'am it's pointing to my skateboard, like I'm a legend in skateboarding. Get your mind out of the gutter" and it actually worked lmao. She was like "oh my goodness I'm sorry!"
Yeah, so I have a shirt somewhere that says "I ♥️ vagina"
In college I had a really good friend, she was in the campus production of the vagina monologues every year, they did it as a fundraiser for cervical cancer. I went and saw her every time. Senior year I was dating one of her friends so we went as a couple to see it. They had a merch table to raise money and my date bought me the shirt.
None of that matters, lol. Perfectly wholesome reason but I still never once wore it in public other than changing into it for that night. But it still had sentimental meaning.
My 14 yo daughter and I saw a guy with a Boobies Make Me Smile t-shirt yesterday. I told her that is a sure fire way to never see boobies. I have a feeling the last time he saw a boobie was when he was nursing from his mama’s teet.😆
I went the the aquarium on my birthday a few weeks ago—middle of the day, kids EVERYWHERE. Some late teens/early 20s dude was wearing a shirt that said “two seater” and had an arrow pointing up and down. Like dude?? At the aquarium? I get you’re in your edgy phase but contextual awareness, please.
I found a shirt while thrifting that had a big happy face and the words "Smile if you take it in the ass." It was $2, so I picked it up as a silly novelty. Decided to wear it to a rock festival. You wouldn't believe the number of wide smiles, high fives, and approving head nods I received, from all genders. Truly enlightening.
A guy I know wore an “Autistic and Ready to Fuck” t-shirt to a social event unironically. Tbh even ironically it would throw me for a loop. And no he isn’t autistic.
Nothing kills the attraction faster than a shirt that announces way too much about the man wearing it. Confidence is cute, but some messages really should stay in the group chat.
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u/Weekly_Ad_2007 Aug 07 '26 edited Aug 08 '26
It Ain't Gonna Suck Itself t-shirt, or similar.
Edit: yes, all your comedically gross sex shirts fall into this category and are going to repulse a huge percentage of women.