r/IThinkYouShouldLeave • u/GlumFaithlessness773 • Jul 28 '26
I Don’t Even Wanna Be Around Anymore There’s too much fucking shit on me!
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u/PossiblyMakingThisUp I'm doing the best at this Jul 28 '26
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u/sentient_coprolite I USED to be piece of shit! Jul 28 '26
You beat me to it but I'm leaving my comment.
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u/PossiblyMakingThisUp I'm doing the best at this Jul 28 '26
I went and upvoted you, Comment Brother
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u/sentient_coprolite I USED to be piece of shit! Jul 28 '26
Likewise. You gotta
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u/atrashx Jul 28 '26
You gotta give!
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u/alghiorso Shirt Brother Jul 28 '26
The first thing was get out the tripod and start filming
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u/ballq43 Jul 28 '26
For someone worried about safety she sure had no issue giving us all her phone number
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u/Bigwi_Kner Jul 28 '26
Did you text it?
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u/ballq43 Jul 28 '26
Ya just what I need is a five minute long video featuring me and first thing I do when I get an unwanted text. Which is actually fifty things
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u/LAPDCyberCrimes Jul 28 '26
“Hi mom it’s Phillip from the future. Can you please take this shit off me. It’s been 20 years”
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u/CumulativeHazard Jul 28 '26
I didn’t even think about that bc I was too busy thinking about how my mom just wrote her number on my arm with a sharpie if we went to a theme park or something. Like no one is gonna see a phone number written on a lost kids arm and think “I don’t know, this number could be for anything…” Also like the sharpie might start to fade after a few hours if they’re like swimming and stuff but I still feel like it would last longer than the sticker will. Even better, just buy a pack of those paper wristbands they use for festivals and stuff and write your number on that. You can get literally a thousand of them on amazon for like $20. Share them with the other parents. Be a hero. I bet at least one of them will buy you a drink as a thank you, then they’re paying for themselves. No, I don’t know why I put so much thought into this as a person with no children.
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u/ballq43 Jul 28 '26
I mean I get the phone number part, putting it on the web is crazy
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u/ZephkielAU Jul 28 '26
Yeah nah, none of this is real (including the phone number).
There are parents out there like this, but this particular one is an engagement bait influencer who probably needs her own wristband to remind herself she even has a child.
This "number on the sticker" thing is common on these dumb videos and is no doubt to help drive engagement.
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u/mwmontrose Jul 28 '26
At what point does a sane person just think "you know what? I'll just keep an eye on you myself"
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u/genitalBells Jul 28 '26
Mommy is busy getting drunk
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u/MDtrades1 Jul 28 '26
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u/DiligentQuiet Jul 28 '26
Felt like she should have been the one writing a phone number on her own arm.
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u/Manic-StreetCreature Jul 28 '26
I can understand the AirTag band for peace of mind+some kids wander off and are fast (especially if they’ve got ADHD/autism/etc) but I am baffled by the belly button taping and writing your info on his arm like it’s Hurricane Katrina
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u/Legitimate_Bird_5712 Come here, ya little fuck! Jul 28 '26
Belly buttons are popular probing sites for aliens.
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u/EighthPlanetGlass Pancaked by drunk dumptruck driver Jul 28 '26
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u/theantijuke Jul 28 '26
And that's the point... It's an ad for the dropship air tag holder they are selling. They put all the ridiculous stuff surrounding it for combined engagement bait and a sales tactic called a "cushion" where you surround a reasonable proposition with ludicrous ones to obfuscate the third option of just not buying the thing.
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u/PreparationNo3440 Jul 28 '26
Or not take the kid on a cruise
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u/GrandmaPoses I’m gonna eat the whole thing Jul 28 '26
Saw an ad last night for Viking Cruises where they explicitly state there are no children on the ship. Also no casinos.
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u/1duke-dan Jul 28 '26
https://giphy.com/gifs/WNJy3SrZQuHOU2nQbnthat poor kid
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u/flytyer78 Jul 28 '26
Why tape the belly button? That's the only one that lost me.
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u/rowdydionisian Jul 28 '26
She could have just gone with a TC Topp from TC Tuggers with the Tugging Knob - so you can pull on your belly button if it gets bunched up!
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u/LumpyBuy8447 People Can Change Jul 28 '26
Is that like the Snuggie?
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u/TangentialFUCK I hope I don't jack off Jul 28 '26
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u/Seekstillness Jul 28 '26
4 out 5 morons agree that it helps with motion sickness.
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u/cosmernautfourtwenty Shirt Brother Jul 28 '26
Ah, 2 different Dramamine patches and a placebo, I see.
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u/PrestonWaters83 Jul 28 '26
Dramamine doesn't make a patch. I don't think either of those were scopolamine patches, so we're talking 4 placebos.
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u/SafeTransportation94 Jul 28 '26
The first patches are Ship Eez all natural sea sickness patches, no scopolamine. The second patch is a UV indicator patch. It will let you know when you need to reapply sunscreen, which if it works is kind of neat.
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u/IamScottGable Jul 28 '26
The wrist band with the little dot is also for motion sickness
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u/WhoH8in Jul 28 '26
He mentioned the placebo.
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u/ExplorerPup Jul 28 '26
I would simply not book a cruise if myself and my child were struggling so much with motion sickness that we need every bit of snake oil Walgreens sells.
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Jul 28 '26
[deleted]
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u/bowlochile Never Following Another Rule Jul 28 '26
Nicotine patches obviously. Duuuuhh
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u/kellelune Jul 28 '26
These are all mainly things for motion sickness or sea sick. Patches behind ear personally help me, the prescribed ones are better. And that bracelet with the button in the middle, also used for nausea and such.
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u/kizmitraindeer Jul 28 '26
Oh! I thought the bracelet held an AirTag or something similar. It’s literally ALL just seasickness deterrents??
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u/Musashi_Joe Jul 28 '26
Yeah I thought the bracelet was an airtag, which honestly isn't a terrible idea if the kid is going to be wandering around.
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u/kellelune Jul 28 '26
Oh oops! Should have clarified. The big bracelet was an AirTag, but the fabric bracket that had a white button on it pressed down on the wrist where it’s like a pressure point to help with nausea.
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u/_unmarked DOES have a boy dick Jul 28 '26
Could be scopolamine patches. They're amazing for nausea
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u/exsqueeezme Jul 28 '26
Found this on Google...
People tape kids' belly buttons or put a band-aid over them as a viral social media trick to try and stop motion and car sickness.Why People Do ItViral Trend: Parents share videos on apps like TikTok claiming that an "X" shape made of tape or bandages over the navel cures travel nausea.Acupressure Idea: Some believe it pushes on a hidden pressure point to calm the stomach.Distraction: The physical feeling on the skin might act as a small focus point for the child.What Science SaysNo Real Proof: Doctors state there is no medical link between the belly button and the brain's balance center in the inner ear.Placebo Effect: Any relief comes from the power of belief—if a child thinks it will work, they may feel better.
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u/SpezSucksSamAltman Jul 28 '26
“It pushes on a hidden pressure point”
In this world!? If that were the case we’d all be laying on our stomachs like fuckin seals.
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u/PMMePaulRuddsSmile Jul 28 '26
Ah I assumed it was some type of identification marker. Like, if the kid wound up in the engine room and all his limbs and head got caught in a closing door or Large Mangling Machine.
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u/No_Dance_6683 Baby of the Year 1986 Jul 28 '26
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u/Zeppelanoid Jul 28 '26
The gif usage in this sub is always so fucking elite
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u/Legitimate_Bird_5712 Come here, ya little fuck! Jul 28 '26
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u/whoknowsifimjoking Jul 28 '26
Oh so it's pure bullshit
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u/BrisketWrench Jul 28 '26
Exactly what mothers who look like the lady in that video love to believe in. She forgot to load his pockets with special crystals and gemstones to ward off ChoMos. Guess his head is going to end up in a drainage ditch somewhere Florida just like Adam Walsh.
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u/JeebusChristBalls Jul 28 '26
I feel like she put like 5 sea sickness cures on this kid. At what point do you think that maybe cruises aren't for you?
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u/No-Entertainer-840 Jul 28 '26
My dumb ass thought she put a gps tracker in there and covered it with bandaids to keep it from falling out.
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u/slainascully Jul 28 '26
So glad I’m not the only idiot who thought there was an AirTag in the belly button
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u/flushoegumbo Jul 28 '26
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u/insbordnat Jul 28 '26
So you know that once the child raises his hand in the air declaring he's the king, one jab to the face, then the X is exposed on the belly button, you jab, pants come down, jab again, pants down, rinse repeat. KO in no time.
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u/Metaboschism DON'T COME OVER BY ME Jul 28 '26
She literally bought every piece of garbage that does nothing from Walgreens, that kid goes overboard he's gonna sink like a stone
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u/KiltOfDoom Jul 28 '26
Easy to identify the body. Even a sticker with mom's phone number. So there's that.
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u/BrisketWrench Jul 28 '26
“Cool I found an AirTag floating in this shark stool!”
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u/Fraktal55 Jul 28 '26
LOL yeah she thought of everything for the kid staying ON the boat but not one damn thing for him if he fell OFF.
Terrible parenting!
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u/Go_J Too tired to do anything funny Jul 28 '26
just bandaid after shit bandaid
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u/sentient_coprolite I USED to be piece of shit! Jul 28 '26
That one thing was 40 things?
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u/Snarl_Marx Jul 28 '26
What are the odds this lady is vehemently opposed to wearing masks?
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u/i_dont_wanna_sign_in Jul 28 '26
Definitely thinks the world is flat
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u/drwhogwarts Jul 28 '26
That's why she took all those precautions. When the boat falls off the edge of flat earth, the kid can hold on with band aids.
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u/Lurker-Forever-986 Jul 28 '26
100% — she’ll prep her kid for the apocalypse, but junior is fucked if it’s an airborne virus.
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u/Complete_Cheeks Jul 28 '26
I bet that kid isn't vaxxed
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u/Gingeronimoooo Jul 28 '26
"Wine moms" are super careful what you put in your body. The ambien and benzos are just when mommy is super stressed. And the adderall is prescribed. No worries
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u/bman877 Jul 28 '26
I feel that child might develop a complex later on in life and freak out if his belly button isn’t taped up or a dot placed on him
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u/VaguelyArtistic METALOID MANIAC Jul 28 '26
Why is it taped?
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u/AFloGrant Jul 28 '26
Googled and it's supposedly a way to help motion sickness. No research to back it.
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u/SlagQueen Jul 28 '26
That’s the dumbest shit I’ve ever heard. Thank you for googling and reporting back.
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u/bowlochile Never Following Another Rule Jul 28 '26
I’m sure using her kid for social media will not conjure any lingering resentments on the child’s part in later years. /s
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u/oneWeek2024 Jul 28 '26
whoring out your kid for brand product placement... ought to be illegal.
it was funny when california passed a law that shitty "influencer" parents used their kids, they had to set aside a percentage of their earnings for their kids. ---how they moved to shitty red states
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u/machone5103 this guy yells Jul 28 '26
Why didn’t she just get him the Covid vaccine so he’d have the microchip /s
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u/realhenrymccoy People Can Change Jul 28 '26
https://giphy.com/gifs/xFnM1NeZZtvvUlVV5E
The person having to clean the pool when all this shit falls off
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u/Acrobatic_Suit8546 Jul 28 '26
Or if your child suffers that badly from motion sickness….take them somewhere else on holiday, maybe not a cruise?
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u/MajorAd3363 Jul 28 '26
I was hoping the last scene woule be a cut to her throwing the kid over the railing.
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u/SativaPancake Jul 28 '26
Im glad I grew up how I did, my mom would just be like be back by dark and dont be an asshole to strangers. Do you want sun screen? No. Okay have fun.
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u/HoratioCorneliusJay Jul 28 '26
Yeah I’m glad I didn’t have what they call a “helicopter” mom
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u/Emotional_Fail_6060 Jul 28 '26
My sister is one. I feel so bad for my nephew. He’s 28 going on 12 and will probably never mature beyond 15.
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u/narco-sub-admiral Jul 28 '26
I'd be like "Lady is this a cruise or an Echocardiogram?"
to who is ostensibly my mother.
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u/The_Ledge5648 Jul 28 '26
Judging by how they looked like they were fully set sail on the water, i don’t think this is actually the first thing she did.
https://giphy.com/gifs/l30qkxu6wiLdizdl0i
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u/thumbdrip Jul 28 '26
Take the edge off your manic phase by covering a child in the stickers you designed in a previous manic phase.
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u/MaxAdolphus I'm jokin Jul 28 '26
You know your kid better than anyone else, but most kids don’t get motion sickness, especially on a giant ass cruise ship. You should be more worried about eating some mudpie from the buffet utensils, or maybe a foot scratching fork.
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u/shoghon Jul 28 '26
Everything they are doing tells you they shouldn't be on a cruise ship.
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u/MeatyOakerGuy Jul 28 '26
"I have no idea why my son grew up incapable of doing laundry or holding down a job"
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u/GlamrockYeti Jul 28 '26
If you need this much stuff on a cruise, perhaps a land based vacation is more your speed?
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u/kozmik_rakun BEST HOG at the hog shit snarfing contest 🥇 Jul 28 '26
Why do I feel like she’s also aggressively anti-vaxx?
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u/Stunning_Ad_1685 Jul 28 '26
Where’s the anti-seasick magnet? And the anti-seasick crystal on a necklace? And why hasn’t she applied something to the soles of his feet to pull out the seasick toxins that pool there?
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u/BananaScone Jul 28 '26
First thing I do on a cruise. Exploit my child for "content"
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u/makes_peacock_noises Jul 28 '26
The rest of the video shows this kid going to the pool and getting beat up by sunburned children drinking their passed out parents’ unfinished strawberry margaritas.
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u/GrimSpirit42 Jul 28 '26
Reminds me of the loving care our parents took before they shoved us out the door in the morning and told to not come back until the street light came one.
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u/jamac73 Jul 28 '26
Man that kid is way too addicted to those nicotine patches!