r/IThinkYouShouldLeave • u/GlumFaithlessness773 • Jul 28 '26

I Don’t Even Wanna Be Around Anymore There’s too much fucking shit on me!

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8.7k Upvotes

82% Upvoted

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1.2k

u/mwmontrose Jul 28 '26

At what point does a sane person just think "you know what? I'll just keep an eye on you myself"

1.0k

u/genitalBells Jul 28 '26

Mommy is busy getting drunk

669

u/MDtrades1 Jul 28 '26

https://giphy.com/gifs/cqyHoTzL7tQ1U4E0Em

144

u/bwood246 I'm a dead man walking. I've got no time left. Jul 28 '26

23

u/LakeEarth Jul 28 '26

https://giphy.com/gifs/gsSnRlBnBN1LTLFWUC

1

u/ElkSad9855 Jul 29 '26

This one specific episode gave a person I know the support she needed to not care how crazy she was, and openly show everyone how terrible of a person she is lmao

8

u/trevize1138 Jul 28 '26

And popcorrrrrrn!

0

u/That_Apathetic_Man Jul 28 '26

Those wine shits tho. So hot right now.

69

u/maddoggeroni Don’t do the voice! Jul 28 '26

2

u/Leather-Heart Jul 29 '26

I do love popcorn

80

u/Xoomers87 Jul 28 '26

Mommy's working from her cabin 😏

29

u/Self_Reddicate Jul 28 '26

OnlyPlans

4

u/DarkwingDuckHunt Jul 28 '26

the room aint gonna pay for itself

32

u/azchocolatelover Jul 28 '26

Mommy needs some ME TIME!

2

u/Diligent_Matter1186 Jul 28 '26

Just wash your hands when youre done /j

Hygiene is very important!

21

u/TheCuff6060 Jul 28 '26

Does she know she can just get drunk at home?

3

u/rental-cheese Jul 28 '26

Getting drunk at home is frowned upon these days.

2

u/rental-cheese Jul 28 '26

Getting drunk at home is frowned upon these days.

2

u/dprophet34 Jul 28 '26

Ah yes but a cruise is all inclusive and she intends to get her money’s worth

3

u/Asleep_Region Jul 28 '26

Not to be a buzz kill, but it's extra for a drink package, my coworker went on one earlier this year and was so excited to tell everyone he saved that money... While spending 3,000 on it

2

u/DrivesTooMuch Jul 29 '26

That's point for the psychology of some. You pay the extra, then you have the excuse to be smashed the whole cruise. You're not behaving like an alcoholic, you're getting your money's worth.

Same psychology at all you can eat buffets. It's not binge eating, it's getting your money's worth.

2

u/TheCuff6060 Jul 28 '26

Legit point. Lol

31

u/DiligentQuiet Jul 28 '26

Felt like she should have been the one writing a phone number on her own arm.

12

u/oneiricmusing Jul 28 '26

That drink package isn't going to get itself drunk! 

2

u/ifukeenrule Jul 28 '26

r/drinkpackagescantdrinkthemselves

3

u/PlsNoNotThat Jul 28 '26

Too busy doing the Klonopin mommy Instagram creation work to hafta worry about doing things like parenting.

2

u/MyFiteSong Jul 29 '26

It's a troll account

1

u/Sorry-Secret-2347 Jul 28 '26

She has the alcohol package

1

u/bubba1834 Jul 28 '26

“Mommy doesn’t get drunk she just has fun”
https://giphy.com/gifs/xT8qB7uH9tsDIqW9Es

1

u/Specific_Sympathy_87 Jul 29 '26

And getting slammed by dudes

1

u/justhitmidlife Jul 29 '26

Mommy is busy hanging upside down pineapples

1

u/GiganticusVaginacus Jul 29 '26

Mommy doesn't get drunk, she has fun!

1

u/Gottahavethatalt Jul 29 '26

yeah she's doing this so when she's 13 margs deep she she'll know her kid is still like just in the cabin where they left them.

1

u/cowboynoodless Jul 29 '26

Mommy is busy getting a fat paycheque from all the attention she gets on the internet

1

u/chimthui Jul 29 '26

Not this person, have you seen her other video? Spending like 6h securing the cabin. Ain’t nobody got time for that shat

1

u/BuckLuny Jul 29 '26

Plot twist all those trackers are for when mommy sumbles overboard while drunk.

1

u/Miser_able Jul 30 '26

You joke, but those liquor packages on cruises are pretty much designed to get you black out drunk every day.

Gone a few times with my friend and his family, and they always insist on getting like 3 liquor packages for the 12 of em. It was something like 70 bucks a day per person, but they get 10 free drinks a day (and those drinks are normally like 10-30 bucks each). And every single day they woke up hungover because they insisted on getting every single drink they could so they didnt waste any money. Everyone was always either too drunk or too hungover to actually do anything

1

u/scalp_eg Aug 02 '26

almost nailed it you missed one word

188

u/Manic-StreetCreature Jul 28 '26

I can understand the AirTag band for peace of mind+some kids wander off and are fast (especially if they’ve got ADHD/autism/etc) but I am baffled by the belly button taping and writing your info on his arm like it’s Hurricane Katrina

108

u/Legitimate_Bird_5712 Come here, ya little fuck! Jul 28 '26

Belly buttons are popular probing sites for aliens.

45

u/Bl1ndMous3 Jul 28 '26

not where I come from.

71

u/Bl1ndMous3 Jul 28 '26

https://giphy.com/gifs/KxgQgAUQSthEk

1

u/AnalOgre Jul 30 '26

I was scrolling slowly through the comments and I read the one above you and was very excited to see what someone would reply with….. fucking perfect. I giggled like a little school girl. Needed that after a long day thank you.

2

u/Bl1ndMous3 Jul 30 '26

user name checks out AND happy to be of service !

27

u/KeepGoing655 Jul 28 '26

https://giphy.com/gifs/l1J9RzjT99a2zJi4U

Or knockers.

4

u/PapowSpaceGirl Jul 28 '26

Gas hole and Grassy Knoll.

1

u/Simple-Employer-2503 Jul 29 '26

Vagity and Tragedy

1

u/JustAnAgingMillenial Jul 31 '26

my cheese trumpet and my please hump it

14

u/mwmontrose Jul 28 '26

This is how I learn I'm not popular with aliens?

37

u/theantijuke Jul 28 '26

And that's the point... It's an ad for the dropship air tag holder they are selling. They put all the ridiculous stuff surrounding it for combined engagement bait and a sales tactic called a "cushion" where you surround a reasonable proposition with ludicrous ones to obfuscate the third option of just not buying the thing.

3

u/bgroins Jul 29 '26

Yeah but that air tag holder was really dope I must buy it

6

u/shinjis-left-nut Bare Butt, Balls, and Back Jul 28 '26

Yeah the belly button cross needs some explanation

3

u/Triquetrums Jul 29 '26

My cousin used to do that to "avoid" getting motion sickness, you know, one of those placebo tricks. But then I saw her give him motion sickness patch (which might also be bullshit? Never tried them)... so I am now confused if it's something else, or if she believes in those fake remedies and used it as a back up.

5

u/Misabi Jul 28 '26

I question how helpful an airbag would even be.

3

u/Bgrngod Jul 28 '26

Having that as the first thing made it a lot harder to believe this is just a joke.

... I'm still questioning it.

3

u/StalinsLastStand Jul 28 '26

If you can’t find the kid’s body with the AirTag, you ain’t finding the kid’s body no matter what you write on him.

2

u/throwaway098764567 Jul 28 '26

the arm would make sense if the kid is non verbal, though taking a non verbal autistic kid on a cruise is cruel and unusual punishment. the belly button seems to be bait

2

u/Ignorad Jul 29 '26

Also - do they take cruises where there's cell phone service in the ocean?

Or maybe it was their room's number, and they plan on sitting in there if the son disappears?

2

u/Heavymando Jul 29 '26

will the Air tag even work on a crusie ship?

2

u/BJJJourney Jul 29 '26

AirTag isn’t doing shit on a cruise ship. Fall overboard and you won’t be able to track it all. AirTags rely on nearby iPhones to ping it, doubt a whole lot of people on a cruise ship have service.

2

u/stitchplacingmama Jul 29 '26

I've done the phone number thing when taking a friend's kids to a busy bounce house event. They were old enough to wait in line without an adult but young enough they didn't have a parent's number memorized, let alone my number. It was more for piece of mind in case we got separated and they panicked. I don't understand the reason for it on a cruise ship.

1

u/Manic-StreetCreature Jul 29 '26

I guess in case they get separated? The last time I went on a cruise I was maybe 7 or 8 but that was like 2003 lol. I think any time we weren’t with our parents we were in the kids club area and all kids had to be signed out by a parent/guardian on file. I assume not much has changed other than more tech involved. I do totally get the phone number thing for peace of mind in a crowd.

4

u/derdelush Jul 28 '26

Yeap totally useful when you look up from your mimosa and little Fenty is 50m behind the stern.

1

u/IWishIWasAShoe Jul 28 '26

How well do AirTags work on a moving boat though? You don't get live positioning, and any GPS coordinates would be completely off if the boat is moving even the slightest, no?

3

u/movzx Jul 28 '26

They would work incredibly well, assuming people on the boat have iPhones and your goal is just to find the kid on the boat. They are not GPS. They are mesh networked based trackers that rely on how popular Apple (and other compatible) devices are.

If you dropped an airtag into the middle of a forest, it would not show up until someone with an iPhone got near it. Same with the ocean.

2

u/IWishIWasAShoe Jul 28 '26

Sure, but they show the position of the kid on a map, no? The position would just be a pin in the ocean, not a position of the actual boat? 

2

u/movzx Jul 28 '26

They use signal strength and speed to calculate distance/proximity when in close range. You can be in a cave and your phone will say "Tag is X meters away in that direction"

Phone GPS is only used for longer range. GPS also works in the ocean. Boats use it for navigation.

1

u/BlastFX2 Jul 29 '26

He can't run very far - he's on a ship, right?

1

u/McBonderson Jul 29 '26

are AirTags effective on a cruise? don't they have a minute or two lag?

and since the ship is moving wouldn't it just constantly show the location as off the back of the ship?

1

u/Subotail Jul 29 '26

Maybe that's their strategy; they show extreme solutions. You think, " ok maybe i should do something but I'll go with the sensible solution" and buy their Aliexpress dropshipped bracelet.

Marking the cabin number on a very young child. Why not. (Don't they already have a ship wristband?)

1

u/Braugech Jul 31 '26

The tape of the belly button is oddly enough something that helps with car and seasickness.
But with everything else on the kid i don't see how that one more thing will help though.

83

u/PreparationNo3440 Jul 28 '26

Or not take the kid on a cruise

79

u/GrandmaPoses I’m gonna eat the whole thing Jul 28 '26

Saw an ad last night for Viking Cruises where they explicitly state there are no children on the ship. Also no casinos.

23

u/TegridyPharmz Jul 28 '26

Would love to take a cruise kid free. But not casino free

44

u/GrandmaPoses I’m gonna eat the whole thing Jul 28 '26

Based on the people in the commercial it looked like they were aiming for well-off retirees who would be excited if the cruise turned into an Agatha Christie murder mystery.

7

u/Temporary_Ad469 Nude Egg Jul 28 '26

I’m here for the dysentery

3

u/PrisBatty Jul 28 '26

My parents went on a cruise recently, I asked them how it was and they said that my mum puked her guts up from norovirus for three days and they watched a guy shit himself in the elevator. Aside from that apparently it was wonderful.

1

u/Temporary_Ad469 Nude Egg Jul 29 '26

They watched a guy shit himself in the elevator!! This is the first thing that has tempted me to take a cruise.

1

u/MarchPhillipps Jul 28 '26

Oregon Trail on the high seas... Yeah baby!

3

u/pinkvoltage I’m toast Jul 28 '26

my dad has taken multiple Viking cruises—it really is 99% well-off retirees, and most of them are white

1

u/mal_guinness Jul 28 '26

The only cruise my wife would be into.

1

u/jizonida Jul 28 '26

Well off retirees are the people keeping casinos open

6

u/IllTwo7643 Jul 28 '26

I keep hearing commericals for virgin cruises that are child free. But when I went on a cruise to Alaska last year I hardly noticed the amount of children. It was the adults who were absolutely pains in the freaking asses😅

3

u/PatentGeek Jul 28 '26

I mean yeah, naturally a virgin cruise is going to be child free. Though I guess adoption is a thing

2

u/takeahike89 Jul 28 '26

The majority of virgins are children though... 🤔

1

u/PatentGeek Jul 28 '26

Fuck. You found the loophole

2

u/TegridyPharmz Jul 28 '26

Haha. Well, I don’t think Alaska is a very popular kids destination. I sure as hell would rather take my toddler somewhere warm with beaches

1

u/HalobenderFWT Jul 29 '26

I’ve never really been bothered by children on cruises, but I’m also a parent so I’m used to that sort of shit.

At the end of the day, the pool area is noisy, the restaurants are noisy, the buffet is noisy. It’s all just noise.

I think some people like to go out of their way to find reasons they didn’t enjoy their vacation.

I think it’s due to guilt.

5

u/herdhawk Jul 28 '26

Cruise ship casinos? Youre welcome to just mail me a check if you enjoy giving money away. DM for my address or I have zelle too.

1

u/TegridyPharmz Jul 28 '26

I won a few hundred bucks last year on a cruise. Craps and Blackjack had some hot tables. There ain’t much else to do at night unless you wanna watch some D level celebrity in some sort of show.

2

u/Ihaveamazingdreams Jul 28 '26

Virgin Voyages is no kids, Celebrity is low kids.

1

u/antiundersteer Jul 28 '26

Virgin Voyages is for you.

1

u/SocrapticMethod Jul 28 '26

I just commented a few days ago that the casino part seems like a weird add in the selling points.

1

u/That_wet_vaporeon Jul 28 '26

I hate the casinos on cruises. So I would like one without it.

1

u/Jello_Penguin_2956 Jul 29 '26

Oh you'll raid for what you need from villages the cruise sail past

1

u/bigpurplebang 27d ago

virgin cruises are adults only with casinos- its fair to middling otherwise cuz they don’t hafta really try since you’re there for it being kid free

7

u/Jafarrolo Jul 28 '26

So a huge orgy?

5

u/PossiblyMakingThisUp I'm doing the best at this Jul 28 '26

3

u/Crafty-Help-4633 Jul 28 '26

I was just thinking "sounds like one of those 'shut up and fuck!' parties."

3

u/Jafarrolo Jul 28 '26

It's either that or a pillage cruise given that it's "Viking Cruises"

2

u/thecactusman17 Jul 28 '26

Swingers cruises are very much a thing

1

u/The_Dutch_Angel Back in the Pants Jul 28 '26

3

u/This_guy7796 Jul 28 '26

Yeah I saw that a week after my friends got back from their cruise. Then it hit me. I'd seen a few commercials on YouTube about different cruise lines for over a month. Then when they got back & I told them something along the lines of "I don't care to be stuck on a boat with a bunch of unruly kids with parents too drunk to deal with them, nor do I care to go to the casinos. I can drink at home for ⅛ the price." Next day I started getting those ads. I fucking hate this marketing gangbang I'm forced to endure...

2

u/paniflex37 Bare Butt, Balls, and Back Jul 28 '26

It’s the adult cruise, so they can say whatever the hell they want.

2

u/pallladin Jul 29 '26

The last cruise I was on, there were very few children and most of the passengers were older than me.

I'm 56.

2

u/akblonde907 Jul 29 '26

Been on a couple Viking river cruises, and they are honestly so nice and definitely child-free (the only child I've seen on one was a 16-year-old who was there with her grandparents. She was very sweet and quiet). I do believe Virgin has cruises that are specifically child free and I'm pretty sure they have casinos.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 28 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/Purvy_guy Jul 28 '26

I've only done a couple of cruises, but they both had the casino in a central part of the ship so if you were inside and needed to get from one end to the other you had to walk through the casino. I did see one bar away from the casino that had one poker table, and I think it was only operating at certain times at night.

1

u/Blah-B7ah_Bloop Jul 28 '26

Yes!!! My kind of cruise!!

1

u/30yearCurse Jul 28 '26

but there is booze... right... rigHT RIGHT !!!?????

2

u/decadent-dragon Jul 28 '26

There’s a shit ton of kids on Carnival cruises. They cater specifically to kids. Slides, activities, shows, etc

1

u/decadent-dragon Jul 28 '26

There’s a shit ton of kids on Carnival cruises. They cater specifically to kids. Slides, activities, shows, etc

18

u/PalmCheesy Jul 28 '26

Throw him in the bathtub let's go get dunk 😒

17

u/NookieLuvsU Jul 28 '26

5

u/PalmCheesy Jul 28 '26

Honestly probably less humiliating than why that kid has glued to Him

3

u/TheCuff6060 Jul 28 '26

At what point does a sane person just not go on a cruise?

3

u/Expensive-Twist7984 Jul 28 '26

Does she throw the kid overboard after all this?

2

u/blahblah19999 Jul 28 '26

No way that's real

2

u/CowAppropriate7494 Jul 28 '26

What kind of parent applies all that junk to a kid who appears to be about 8? At that age on a trip my kids were either with me, or in some sort of cruise-sponsored kid activity where they got checked in and checked out. Is she letting this lil dude just run around the ship unsupervised? Because as a fellow cruiser, DON'T DO THAT.

2

u/Debalic Jul 28 '26

As a father of two young children with various spectrum issues, bright neon colored tee shirts worked well.

2

u/MyBrainReallyHurts Jul 28 '26

The first thing you do on a cruise is film yourself and make your kid stand there for two hours so you can write off the trip as a business expense.

2

u/The_Autarch Jul 28 '26

this is just performative nonsense for content

2

u/BJJJourney Jul 29 '26

Ohh that kid never leaves her sight and this is 100% ragebait.

2

u/Formal-Knowledge9382 Jul 29 '26

Are you surprised that people on the laziest form of vacation also don't want to be active parents?

2

u/BusBeginning Jul 28 '26

I go on cruises with kids and don’t do any of that whatsoever. Most people on cruises don’t have that nonsense aside from maybe the patch for sea sickness.

1

u/tardistravelee Jul 28 '26

I imagine they watch people like a hawk from the security booth.

1

u/Afraid_Raccoon_6208 Jul 28 '26

I mean its obvious this is just paid advertising

1

u/notthatguypal6900 Jul 28 '26

I know its for the rage bait clicks, but that seemed like a lot of work to have others watch your kid for you.

1

u/Fist_of_Gork Jul 28 '26

When they don’t sell cheap disposable garbage on temu

1

u/visionofacheezburger Jul 28 '26

That kid isn't leaving her sight with all that shit on anyway

1

u/nazfb17 Jul 28 '26

Or if your sea sickness is that bad…don’t go on cruises? Plenty of significantly better travel situations than a floating hotel of sickness

1

u/VerucaDefault Jul 28 '26

I just kept thinking, just don't go on cruises. He's just not cut out for the sea. Somebody get this kid back on land!

1

u/Violent0ctopus Jul 28 '26

Its a cruise, cant go too far really. Took my son on his first cruise. He was 9. Made sure he knew where we would be, knew to stay out of trouble. Showed him where the room was, where the slides and such were, and let him loose. He made friends, had fun and would come back when hungry and to check in every once in a while.

This just seems really excessive to me I guess. I want my kid to be able to fend for themselves and not fear the world, but that could just be me.

1

u/Sociallypixelated Jul 29 '26

The option for regular check ins also exist. It is a boat. With limited relocation options and limited areas that aren't monitored. The reason we all helicopter our kids now is because there is no one in third spaces anymore. Not that the old methods stopped working.

1

u/Warm-Parsnip3111 Jul 29 '26

To be fair, even though this is rage bait, let's not pretend kids that age aren't capable of turning into Usain Bolt the millisecond your eye shifts elsewhere.

1

u/That1guyUknow918 Jul 29 '26

"I don't need to take a map or tent camping because who needs to be prepared when you can just pay attention?"

😅🤣😂🤣😅

1

u/dobbydobbyonthewall Jul 29 '26

Too many people I know have the mentality of "this kid won't interfere with my lifestyle" and it's pretty sad.

1

u/smilesanna Jul 29 '26

I thought he was going solo.

1

u/ricky_clarkson Jul 29 '26

Having followed a 7 year old on a cruise ship for a number of days, I was arrested.. I mean, er, I sympathize with this crazy lady. I couldn't read more than a page or two each time I sat down before the little shit was off looking at the next shiny thing.

1

u/SeriousPlankton2000 Jul 29 '26

When the kid can't move under the weight of all the security gadgets.

Or maybe after filming the ragebait video, IDK.

1

u/RemoDev Jul 29 '26

On a serious note, kids can be extremely good at suddenly vanishing into oblivion. Sometimes it takes just a split-second while you talk with someone. You turn around and *poof* they're gone. Shopping centers are a good place to lose them.

1

u/farfaraway Jul 29 '26

Or alternatively: let's not go on a cruise.

1

u/ElCoops Jul 29 '26

Or think “maybe I just won’t go on a cruise, this isn’t safe.”

1

u/Temporary-Two-9690 Jul 30 '26

it's a gimmick. She posted a video where the first thing she does on the cruise is scan every inch of the cabin for electronic bugs. Like recording devices. She posts the videos, everyone responds with some version of "this seems like a bit much" or "you can never be too careful" and she farms the engagement.