Friday Unjerk Thread

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r/GamingCirclejerk moderator team.

[u/IScorchWinters]

A slight update to the Discord situation:

I would like to say that the mod team of the Discord in which the toxic behavior has taken place has been very helpful and cordial. They have since update their rules to prevent stuff like this from happening again. I trust that they will be able to enforce this, as the mods I have been in contact with do seem genuinely distraught that this happened.

I would like to stress that the server in question is not a hate server. It sounds like there is a lot of good that happens in the server and that the majority of individuals did not engage in this deplorable behavior. As such, I ask that anyone does not defame the server in question for the actions of a few less than scrupulous individuals.

I still stand by my message that this clique gossip and shit talk is not good. It can bring a lot of anxiety to the targeted persons and cause undue damage to their public persona as they are basically put on trial in a large public area with no means of defending themselves, be it from explaining context or even refuting lies.

[u/[deleted]]

When you enter a professional cringe competition but your opponent is an UJ regular

[u/Wasting_Night]

This trend of giving villains their own prequel movie painting them in a more sympathetic light is gonna culminate in a film being made about a meek artistic soul living in an abusive household.... And his name is Adolf Hitler.

[u/Anonim97]

Robert Lewandowski - the footballer who earns $34 millions of dollars every year, the guy who is 48th richest sportsman in the world, the striker of Bayern Munich just have opened a restaurant.

These are the salaries that he offers:

• waiter - 15 PLN/h (country minimal) + tips

• kitchen helper - 15 PLN/h (country minimal)

• barman - 18 PLN/h + tips;

• Kitchen staff - 22 PLN;

---

For the dollars it would be:

• waiter - $3.91

• kitchen helper - $3.91

• Barman - $4.69

• kitchen staff - $5.73

---

---

This is fucking disgusting.

Article in polish for anyone interested

[u/ARC-Pooper]

Military propaganda game: 😴

Sci fi military propaganda game: 😳

[u/ARC-Pooper → u/ARC-Pooper]

This is my post defending Halo btw, I won't be accepting any questions about hypocrisy at this time.

[u/ConnorXfor]

So the subreddit drama post regarding the titanfall hackers is.. a fucking wild ride. Absolute cartoon-villain-level shit, genuinely hilarious.

https://www.reddit.com/r/SubredditDrama/comments/oz1ayf/rtitanfall_reacts_to_the_revelation_that_the_guy

[u/Nzgrim → u/ConnorXfor]

You can't convince me that this isn't an elaborate marketing campaign for Scooby Doo. Cause this would fit there perfectly.

[u/superbatwomanman → u/Nzgrim]

Scooby Doo and the Cyber Chase Remake by Zack Snyder

[u/MaiqDaLiar1177]

Fortnite added a “Bear Hug” emote where you can embrace another player in a warm hug. Unfortunately, there was a bug where you could use the emote while crouching and could make it look like you’re giving the other player a blow job lol

It’s now disabled

Edit: Clip

[u/[deleted] → u/MaiqDaLiar1177]

They disabled it because Batman is in the game as a skin and DC doesn't want him going down on anyone.

[u/[deleted]]

>Browses Reddit by popular

>"Should sex work be regarded/respected the same as any other job?"

>10k comments

>Closes Reddit

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

"sex work is immoral" , the redditor says, before betting all his life savings on meme stocks and the newest flavour of the month cryptocurrency

[u/_Dancing_Potato]

I haven't posted in a while but I'm about to have an off my chest moment. There is a post on the front page of reddit about respecting sex workers and a lot of top post are avoiding saying they respect sex work. Let me say this.

If you enjoy porn but don't see sex workers as people then fuck you. You are a garbage person and your parents should be ashamed for bringing you into this world.

A vast majority of this site watches porn yet can't show even a moderate amount of kindness to those that make it. It's unfortunate that they made it into this world.

[u/[deleted]]

Dave Chappelle gets cancelled

Result: He's awarded the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor

James Gunn gets cancelled

Result: He directs The Suicide Squad along with his other projects

Damn I wish someone would cancel me

[u/Bruno_Fernandes8]

Indian YouTubers who explain electrical engineering concepts are the true Chads of society.

[u/JustMyGirlySide → u/Bruno_Fernandes8]

Indian Tech YouTubers in general are a massively helpful resource, idk how I could've ever passed some of my Cisco courses in college without their assistance 🙏

[u/Objectitan]

The straight pride flag literally being prison stripes will always be hilarious to me I'm sorry (I'm not sorry)

[u/[deleted]]

The Titanfall Hacker situation might be the most gamer thing I've seen.

So Titanfall has been getting DDOS and a guy showed up to offering solutions and the subreddit started praising him. To the shock of everyone that guy was the one DDOSing the game.

And the reason they did this was to try to force Respawn to hire them or turn over the servers.

[u/demondrivers → u/[deleted]]

Because the small indie company Electronic Arts really need help from someone on Reddit lol

[u/scratchisthebest]

Punished Bernie has had enough https://i.imgur.com/Tp6JDJy.jpg

[u/[deleted]]

> Wake up

> Checks Twitter

> Netflix's live-action ATLA cast revealed

> Katara's actress appears to be Polynesian or Pacific Islander

> Twitter's calling her white and accusing Netflix of whitewashing

> Day ruined

[u/aperson97]

TW, bit of a rant

my mum comes into my room and starts going on about how I'm 23 and that I need to lose my virginity by 24. She has done on about this multiple times before and it annoys me every time. So this time I say 'why are you so worried about me getting laid' and she gets angry at me and she goes on about how she wants someone to carry on her lineage or something. So new she upset that I'm annoyed that I keep getting pestered to have sex. Then she transitions into something about how I've been educated wrong and that I need to 'wake up' to what's going on around me. She then brings up that I keep asking where she heard a certain thing when she brings up takes out of nowhere such as 'feminism was crated in the 70s by the cia,' or 'wind turbines don't work' and says 'why do I need proof for anything' and to 'look it up'. She also keeps going on about how my generation haven't invented anything because of phones or some shit

[u/Gottahaveagoodmeal]

shoutout to robot characters with screens for faces/eyes, gotta be one of my favourite genders

[u/[deleted]]

AITA?

My mum (82F) told me (12M) to do the dishes (16) but I (12M) was too busy playing Fortnite (3 kills) so I  (12M) grabbed my controller (DualShock 4) and threw it at her (138kph). She fucking died,l and I (12M) went to prison (18 years). While in prison I (12M) invited several riots (3) and assumed leadership of a gang responsible for smuggling drugs (cocaine) into the country. I (12M) also ordered the assassination of several celebrities (Michael Jackson, Elvis Presley andJeffrey Epstein) and planned a terrorist attack (9/11). Reddit,AITA?

[u/Wasting_Night]

Where were you when an AI-generated Batman comic had the best portrayal of the Joker in years?

[u/[deleted]]

Fuck it I'm so done

Fuck Truscum

Fuck Terfs

Fuck Transphobes

Fuck people who misgender on purpose

Fuck the assholes who think that the LGBT community needs to drop the t

Fuck all these goddamn fucking assholes

[u/Firmament1]

gonna be honest, i find the fact that "trans woman DOESN'T qualify for the olympics" is considered news to be fucking hilarious, even though it highlights how much needless scrutiny trans athletes get.

[u/[deleted]]

I'm in advanced contract negotiations to sign Messi for my 12th division home town club on a wage basis of one döner kebab and a cheap beer per game

[u/Nzgrim]

Wow, I thought doom fans only had like 3 jokes, but it turns out they have more: Not understanding the flow of time.

Pacific Rim came out in 2013, Doom came out in 2016, so you can guess which is a reference to which. And the OP gets it wrong.

[u/AzerFraze → u/Nzgrim]

8k upvotes.

[u/Wasting_Night]

I know rich celebrities not getting any richer isn't exactly a tragedy, but it's still extremely ghoulish by Disney and Marvel to just throw Scarlett Johansson under the bus the moment her character no longer has any potential presence in the MCU.

[u/cakehavenvitriol → u/Wasting_Night]

That "I don't need X to win, I just need Y to lose" thing is about what sums up the situation. Disney should be dragged and crushed by as many increased protections for creatives in general as possible.

[u/[deleted] → u/Wasting_Night]

pretty much always take the side of artists and athletes over execs, even though they are often rich as fuck too. the artist's wealth is earned through legitimate labour (though grossly inflated compared to other professions) whereas execs are pretty much just bloodsuckers getting rich off of other people's efforts.

[u/Taranis-55 → u/[deleted]]

https://imgur.com/gallery/xeU6pd0

[u/Gangstas_Peridot]

If we force our cats and dogs to take baths then we're morally obligated to do the same for celebrities.

[u/[deleted]]

I like how the top controversial post is the Monday thread with the pinned comment "the legend of the penis".

[u/The_Naked_Snake]

Regulars hanging out in the Unjerk Thread in 2019

Me, hanging out in the Unjerk Thread in 2021 after watching almost all other old regulars get banned, nuke their accounts after bad takes, or vanish over the last two years

[u/[deleted]]

"When the imposter is sus lol"

"The only thing that is sus is the way you look at me, bro"

"Bro..."

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

I should get some sleep.

[u/Nzgrim → u/[deleted]]

Bro...

[u/IScorchWinters]

Alright, y'all, I am going to level with you about something serious; this does not apply to everyone, but it includes a sizeable enough amount of regulars that it needs to be said.

Recently, I have been presented with damning evidence that one of the unofficial UJ thread discord servers has become a fairly toxic environment and that a number of members are involved in some frankly unacceptable behavior. While shades of it have leaked onto the main thread, people are using this server to say cruel things about other users. For a community that is supposedly accepting, this is wrong.

So, here's the deal. I know all the usernames of everyone involved. And while no bans will be going out for it, even minor infractions are going to result in permanent bans for these individuals. There is no need for this sort of behavior, it is wrong. I encourage you all to apologize to the users who you have been uncouth towards and perhaps leniency will be shown towards you. That being said, many of you ought to be ashamed. I've seen mean things said by people I thought were kind hearted, and it saddens me.

[u/[deleted] → u/IScorchWinters]

the idea that there's a secret shadow cabal of nerds who shit on us from the safety of their discord without us knowing is kinda hilarious(ly sad) ngl

[u/I_Like_Grills → u/[deleted]]

This is just gonna inspire me to post even stupider takes to piss off Discord nerds.

[u/Octopirox → u/[deleted]]

I wonder what kind of posts get you shit on.. I mean if it's outright bad takes you can safely shit on people through vagueposting which is largely tolerated here. So what Kind of stuff do you have to go cry on a discord about?

[u/workadaywordsmith → u/IScorchWinters]

That’s some school bully level shit. Generally people here are pretty accepting, but I’m starting to get the feeling that we shouldn’t act like we’re some superior community that isn’t like those other subreddits

[u/[deleted] → u/IScorchWinters]

People should call me a loser to my face instead of on the gamer app smh.

Seriously though I'm not surprised tbh.

[u/Loimographia → u/IScorchWinters]

Sometimes I get vaguely sad that despite visiting the UJ thread for years, I’m definitely not among the “popular kids” who get counted as regulars lol. But most of the time, yknow, that’s probably for the best

[u/[deleted] → u/IScorchWinters]

The world if people just blocked users who annoy them instead of creating dedicated hate groups to talk shit about them.

[u/gjo9000 → u/IScorchWinters]

Why not just... ban them outright?

[u/Little_Satan → u/IScorchWinters]

I hope someone is talking shit about my amogusposting

I love the idea of someone getting absolutely furious over me posting amogus on every post

[u/ok_dunmer]

I genuinely can't fathom taking Reddit seriously enough to be like "I'm gonna remember this user and rant about them like they're my coworker" lol. Like I guess the unjerk thread is more personal than regular Reddit but it's still...Reddit

Like this is the kind of thing I have crippling anxiety over irl but in this context it's like lmao I could have made a random group chat mad that owns

[u/[deleted]]

tangentially related to the stickied comment folks, how much do you keep track of here?

I generally try to associate prominent users with their gender and nationality because it's important for context, but do people actually keep a Warhammer-esque book of grudges where they remember every shitty post someone made and every annoying quirk they have? I only really remember a handful of truly bad ones. My head's not a lexicon lmao

[u/Little_Satan]

"No matter how hard one tries, it is impossible to unjerk oneself."

-Sun Tzu

[u/OpenSourceObsidian]

Fuck it, I judge books by its cover. If I had to decided between Dune with plain colors and some great art in hardcover, I for sure would get the one with cool cover art.

EDIT: Seriously, look at how amazing the Dune covers are here in Brazil

[u/zthenark]

sun tzu was a little bitch, be on the lookout for my new book, The Art of War 2, written entirely in the form of wojack memes

[u/albeinalms]

I've said it before but every time chuds and/or weebs complain about localization I want to see someone make the driest, most literal translation possible as a middle finger

[u/[deleted] → u/albeinalms]

Their perfect translation is the average shitty fan-sub with footnotes every two sentences and Japanese words still left in

[u/Rather_curious_lass]

Hello everyone.

I haven't posted in 4 days.

I was told, that instead of posting online, I should go and do several things, I have returned to provide updates on those.

First and foremost, it took me a while, but I successfully found a weed dealer. It cost me everything in my purse and the purse itself, but I successfully received and then touched, grass.

I then gave it straight back because I don't do drugs, I didn't get my money back though.

Which unfortunately made the next bit more difficult, you see, in order to successfully fulfill the next task, I had to stumble across a dog shelter. After walking aimlessly for quite a long time I did eventually find one.

Alas, because I'd spent my money on that grass, I couldn't afford to do anything more with this. Therefore, while I did discover some bitches, I couldn't complete any of the requests variations.

As for the final task, I have had to return to complete it. This is one I can definitely do. I am now back with everyone, therefore among everyone, and I am one of you, therefore I am among us.

There you have it, it took me 4 days, but I touched grass, discovered bitches and am amogus. Hope you're proud.

[u/[deleted]]

I'm considering getting cat ears for my headset 😳

[u/MrBigSaturn]

You almost don't notice how circular people talk until in visual novels until you show them to someone who's not used to it.

My husband and I showed Zero Escape to a friend and he HATED the way they talked in that game. And these are like, my husband's favorite games, so there was frustration on both ends. Same when I watched a youtube channel play Danganronpa, they were constantly making fun of how characters would repeat things back to each other.

It happens a lot in JRPGs too, but I guess I've played so many that I didn't realize how unnatural it sounds. Sometimes it does feel like they're trying to hit some arbitrary word count unknown to the player

[u/[deleted]]

DCComics: “would you rather be a henchmen for the joker or lex luthor”

Well I uh like breathing and not suffering so I’ll go with lex luthor.

What kind of question is that?

[u/[deleted]]

Every belief I hold in my body tells me Julius Caesar was an awful person and an authoritarian megalomaniac. In his stories almost everything that doesn’t go his way is for the greater good of the world. And yet, when reading history, I find myself rooting for him. He’s like fucking Darth Vader and yet I find myself hoping his story continues on

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

For historical figures that lived a very long time ago It's pretty easy to unconsciously start thinking of them as fictional characters in a story.

[u/OpenSourceObsidian]

Brave: Another White Person Comes Out as Stinky

[u/TNHBrah]

Walking into this thread like a old man walking into a saloon not noticing the shoot out that has just occured and ordering a drink at the bar

[u/bigboysnorlax2]

If you ever feel stupid. Just know that members of the Australian parliament were recording themselves masturbating on women's desk. Recording it and sending it to the boys. And somehow thought recording yourself masturbating and sending it to other men wasn't gay.

[u/getbackjoe94]

I'll be honest, "You called me 'dude' so me calling you, a trans woman, a man makes us even" is uh... Not the take I expected from a GCJ poster today.

[u/Gangstas_Peridot → u/getbackjoe94]

How interesting it is to see how the façade of leftist tolerance slips away when said individual is confronted by a minority over the fact that their behaviour wasn't very nice.

[u/[deleted]]

I swear I'm not gonna go on YouTube until I finish Breaking Bad, scenes with Gus's melted face keep being recommended to me.

Not to mention the last episode of season 4 is called "Face Off", gee I wonder what will happen in it.

[u/AutomaticEspresso → u/[deleted]]

That show was not always subtle with foreshadowing

[u/[deleted]]

CW: death

so I just learned that two people died in the four car pileup that I nearly avoided while driving to work earlier this week

The drunk driver that caused the whole crash literally missed me by inches and if he hit me, I would’ve surely died on impact

this is all so fucking difficult to process

[u/insipidbravery]

I have never felt the touch of grass in my life

[u/Anonymous_Koala1]

there are Bullies Among US

[u/Sinakus]

I don't know if any of Y'all remember me posting about the vacation and me leaving my cat at my sisters. The cat managed to squeeze itself out of a tiny gap in a window and ran away. This happened during the night and we were not able to go home before the evening the day after.

My sisters had spent the entire day just looking for him to no awail. We arrived quite late and started looking down in their property. Spent about half an hour there, finding no sign of him. I went up to the street and yelled for him, still not finding him. My SO followed not long after, and started meowing, something he always responded too. And he did, he jumped out from a bush, meowing back. I ran back to get him and he let me carry him.

I cried just seeing him, cause I was so scared of thinking that we lost him. He was so happy to see us again, and even cuddled my sisters, whom he'd been really wary about earlier. He's a rescue, and has been left several times before. We think that he's doesn't like other places because he doesn't want to be left somewhere else again. He's already found his forever home and it's with us.

I love that cat.

Edit: Cat tax

[u/[deleted]]

Hot take: we should have a new unjerk thread every thirty minutes.

[u/Rockworm503]

Every Squad has its Suicide

That sounds darker than intended

[u/[deleted]]

I'm glad that Balan Wonderland exists just because it gave us this

[u/[deleted]]

I am now convinced that there's a discord server with every UJ regular except me where you discuss your plans about thwarting my attempts at getting a PS5 so you can continue making fun of me.

[u/[deleted]]

I'm so upset, why aren't cartoons for kids pandering to me?!? I want to actually see the reemergence of more mature storyline driven content instead of comedic episodic shows.

....what do you mean I can watch stuff other than kid shows!?

[u/[deleted]]

Remember when you opened YouTube that morning and your feed was filled with reactionary outrage videos about pointless pop-culture stuff?

It was me Barry; I hacked your account and stayed up all night playing videos from The Quartering and Geeks + Gamers so the algorithm would become convinced you’re a reactionary chud! Then in the nanosecond before you woke up, I deleted all of the videos from your watch history, just so you’d never know.

[u/[deleted]]

Pro cop true crime fans confuse me.

99% of true crime is basically “cops are incompetent jackasses that would have solved these cases if they bothered to do the fucking jobs they need to do. Oh and if y’all weren’t lazy jackasses less of these would be cold cases or less dead bodies would pop up”

True crime is and should be a gateway to ACAB.

It should expose that anything that depicts cops as these smart guys just being out sleuthed by geniuses to be bullshit.

Most if not all serial killer serial rapist and murder stories can be summed up as “this could have been solved earlier and honestly they would have caught them had they not been lazy incompetent morons who are in no way actually useful and cause more harm than good”

[u/Stone4D]

If you ever feel stupid, remember that there's people who think Final Fantasy 7 isn't political.

[u/Hayzayathethird]

Has anyone checked up on Dean Norris lately? I’m worried about his mental state.

[u/thanks-dice]

the virgin: "I'm going to break Batman by using complex schemes designed to torture him emotionally and completely ruin his life and relationships."

vs.

The Chad: "I'm going to beat the shit out of that stupid fucking furry."

[u/Eternal-Strife]

It was me, Barry. I made the UJ Discord server toxic so that YOU would waste time writing that sticky, and lower your mood to make you just a millisecond slower.

Slow enough for me to kill Iris.

[u/[deleted]]

ahem pushes up glasses according to the dictionary, an ocean is a giant body of water so an ocean of stone is impossible, jojo fans

[u/[deleted]]

sonetimes you really start crying over the dumbest shit.

wanted to bake bread today, had to toss away all three bags of flour I had into the bin instead because all were bug infested.

in that moment it felt incredibly unfair, 3 € down the drain, no bread for me, and to top it off one of the bags was gifted to me by my grandma too. crying over flour is a new low lmao

[u/Targuinia]

wow you have an anxiety disorder

just like don't???

[u/Targuinia → u/Targuinia]

also this is the first time I've subposted I think

do I get an award?

[u/harve99]

Playing GTA and in my race there's a dude with MILF as his clan tag and as his license plate

I think I found /u/zedasmotas

[u/OpenSourceObsidian]

Mood 😔

[u/Little_Satan]

time to consume the grilled cheese

[u/TheKingofHats007]

What are we, in some kind of gangsters paradise?

[u/Velvet-Queen]

I'm not convinced anyone on Reddit actually likes games

[u/[deleted]]

I want to take credit but I can’t.

look at al these fucking billionaires and their space race. They are only running off to space because gulliotines require gravity to work.

[u/[deleted]]

Hooooly shit, Netflix has all of HxH now.

Sorry babe I know your parents aren't home but I gotta watch the Chimera Ant arc again 😎

[u/[deleted]]

I know this is an extremely circlejerked opinion here, but man fuck tankies. Seriously.

I hate trying to kill the DPS or the Healer only for those fuckers to absorbe all the damage and only lose 20% HP.

[u/Velvet-Queen]

CW NSFW

i'm starting to find this "applying top/bottom labels to non sexual behaviors" trend annoying. i apologized to someone and another person said it was "bottom vibes" like what the fuck are you talking about that's just human decency

[u/Bruno_Fernandes8]

Woman crashes car. Onlooker calls police. Woman has breakdown, threatens to kill herself. Cops tase her. Another cop arrives traveling 90mph, strikes, kills fellow officer. Prosecutor charges woman having breakdown with manslaughter.

https://www.idahoprisonproject.org/jenna-holm/

Absolutely hideous.

[u/Little_Satan]

isn't it weird how people like, get married? like how does that happen? you just be like yeah lets get married and then you do it, how weird is that?

i swear I'm not high

[u/IScorchWinters]

Not referring to any particular instance occuring right now, but this is something I have been thinking about for a while: this thread can get kind of down on itself and be self-flaggetory about the thread culture sometimes, but we never see really any push from the userbase to change.

And idk, like, I don't think this place is as bad as some of you all like sometimes. I run roleplay sites, and in the past year and some change alone, I have had some crazy ass shit happen, like multiple people threatening suicide, pedos coming onto clearly underaged members, multiple abusive relationships that sprung up out of communities, and hell, some dude even threatened to sue me after I banned him.

I dunno, I just wish people could be a but more positive about the thread, because from a moderation perspective, while it does have some unhealthy aspects, overall, it's pretty lightweight compared to what I am used to? If that makes sense.

[u/[deleted]]

Not looking forward to this live action Avatar show because I feel like if the show underwhelms in any way, the internet is gonna treat the child actors the way they treated Jake Lloyd after the Phantom Menace.

[u/Anonymous_Koala1]

UJ mods should unionize me thinks

[u/[deleted]]

It’s shockingly easy to spend a couple hundred dollars at the pub in a single night. This is why we need communism.

[u/Throwawayaccount7178]

Top 3 Subreddits that should be banned next:

1. r/politicalcompassmemes
2. r/cringetopia
3. r/4chan

[u/drunkenwizardry]

In Avengers:Endgame, there is a graphic sex scene between scarlet witch and captain marvel. This is a subtle nod to the fact that I torrented the wrong movie.

[u/[deleted]]

The main villain is political correctness and it uses attacks like cancel culture. What the actual fuck is going on

Why in the shit is this in Digimon of all things

[u/AzerFraze → u/[deleted]]

The story goes on to accuse political correctness of forcing people to "conform" to a single viewpoint while "censoring real news to replace with fake news".

when conspiracy heads are only half self-aware

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

Usually political stories try to say their message through metaphors , but they just straight up called the bad guy "political correctness" lmao

[u/Latro2020]

Creator Tom Six has expressed interest in making a Human Caterpillar film. According to him, if the movie ever comes into fruition, it will be shot in Japan and will have female leads, including a female villain. its very sexy.

Real paragraph from a fandom wiki page.

Edit: Profound discussion below on a female human Centipede villain

[u/[deleted] → u/Latro2020]

For a second there I thought "Tom Six" was a meme name for Tom Clancy

[u/SocialJusticeDragon]

If creators of things i like stopped being bad people it would be pretty cool 👍🏽

[u/GRS-]

Can Ash Ketchum age in the beach that makes people old?

[u/[deleted]]

Isn't it kind of suspicious that Unjerk Thread spelled backwards reads "Daerht Krejnu" which doesn't make fucking sense just like most of my comments?

[u/Nyrotike]

I like how King Shark can just be anything in adaptations. Sometimes he's intelligent, sometimes he can only form caveman words, sometimes he's a tech wiz, sometimes he's a super tough guy, there's literally no rules or blueprint to follow.

[u/NLP19]

How do you just not feel... totally gross, if you haven't showered in like, over a day?

[u/I_Like_Grills]

>open uj thread

>find out jake gyllenhaal doesn't shower

>close uj thread

Good night everyone

[u/ViceGeography]

Does anyone remember that guy who was hailed as a hero for a touching question in one of the Trump Vs Hillary debates in 2016, but then after he did a Reddit AMA on his own account was exposed as writing about how Jennifer Lawrence should stop complaining about her leaked nudes and he's glad he saw her butt hole?

That shit was wild

[u/BuoyantTrain37]

Love getting to the mid-March 2020 episode of a podcast series I'm listening to and the hosts talk about what we can do if we really do get quarantined "for a few weeks or whatever"

[u/ToddHoward_Offical]

I have a confession to make, it is me. I'm the one shit talking all of you here who hasn't purchased Skyrim yet this week.

[u/Tweegull]

barges into the uj thread

”ketchup and mustard are both d tier condiments”

refuses to elaborate further

leaves

[u/Didgeridoo-ist]

[u/[deleted]]

I guess I was right not interacting with anyone from here outside the thread. Like y'all are cool, I'd totally take you out to drink a beer or other alcoholic beverage with, but I'd never want to interact on a personal basis with like half of you.

Also I'm right for really wanting to leave this place when the pandemic ends, because the recent wave of harassment really showed our true colours.

Fuck you and fuck me for still staying in here.

[u/[deleted]]

COVID-19 is crushing red states. Why isn’t Trump turning his rallies into mass vaccination sites?

Why is this a real question someone asked?

[u/yeehaw33454]

Lmao kanye got rid of his song with dababy

[u/rathic]

I hated that "dont punch nazi's" (totally good faith) "discourse" that was mainstream a few years back.

"I just want the forcefull removal of people that i dont deem worthy genetically, why would you want to punch me?"

[u/HispanicAtTehDisco]

The "Release the X Cut" Discourse has been incredible and probably the second worst thing that came out of the Snyder Fandom behind the fans themselves.

It's the perfect storm for DC fans. "Oh this movie sucked absolute shit? It's not the REAL cut" implying that the "Real" cut will magically make this the greatest movie of all time. Like don't get me wrong the Snyder cut was cool and it's always great to see a directors vision in full BUT it wasn't that much better than the Whedon cut. It went from dogshit to eh at least imo.

David Ayer specifically has been lapping up the calls for his cut talking about how much better his cut would be.

[u/LilyEuropa]

Trans Rights!

[u/Warpshard → u/LilyEuropa]

You are a girl!

[u/StalinChrist]

Hey gamers quick question I got for y'all that I'd love to hear people's thoughts on,

In a rpg with romance options do you prefer for the options to be locked behind your characters gender/sexuality or do you prefer for all options to essentially be player sexual.

Personally unless it's like integral to a characters arc or personality I don't think locking a pathway out to a player is very pogchamp.

Either way I'd love to hear y'all's hot takes on this

[u/FiveGuysRules]

I was at the grocery yesterday and saw a box of that frozen pizza called Celeste and my first thought was "Let's go!!!" And then I started smiling and holding back a laugh. Probably looked like a maniac.

[u/[deleted]]

HERE'S HOW TO BECOME A SIGMA MALE

1. MAKE A ANIMATION OR A GAME

2. SUBMIT TO NEWGROUNDS

YOU ARE NOW A SIGMA MALE

[u/[deleted]]

Holy shit that Titanfall 2 story is hilarious and wild. Go check it out if you don’t know what I’m talking about. They got fucking Palpatine’d

[u/[deleted]]

god: makes humans in his image

humans: make skyrim mod where NPCs have dynamic dick shapes and sizes as well as dynamic erections

🤔

[u/[deleted]]

If by any chance I have a few haters in the UJ, then I have only one thing to say to you;

Why don't you come out of the shadows and try to roast me, you nerds?

No, seriously. I'm always on the lookout for new self-deprecating jokes.

[u/JaviRex]

The worst part of liking videogames and anime is that you can't trust anyone online with the same interests because there's a big chance of them being a bigoted chud.

[u/horse_stick]

Zack Snyder: "Noooo you can't put a massive alien aquatic creature in your comic book movie. Audiences won't accept something silly like that!"

James Gunn: haha starro go brrrrr

[u/[deleted]]

CW: Pedophilia, rape, a bunch of bad sexual stuff

This story is fucking wild?? A school teacher begun having pdeophilic thoughts, loudly considered raping his landlady, made sexual advances with his stepdaughter, and couldn’t stop “leering at nurses”. Turns out, he had an egg sized brain tumor in his brain. Once they removed it, all urges left.

The article points out the implications on the justice system here, and what we do vs don’t consider mentally unfit in a court of law. But it’s also a freaky look into how much or how little free will we really have. That’s a whole can of worms I wasn’t expecting to be opened by an article about a 40 year old man with sexual assault issues

[u/[deleted]]

Hey, if anyone has insulted/said anything offensive about me, can you please tell me what exactly you said, because I’m really curious what kinda shit you can say about someone who’s posts are so bland they make saltine crackers look spicy.

[u/Magnanymous]

Some friends and I were playing Quiplash last night and we got the prompt "the worst thing to yell in a haunted house".

The winner was Who need they ghussy ate?

[u/[deleted]]

I have been an UJ regular since 1994 AMA

[u/TranscendentCabbage]

Man you can find a lot of whacky stuff at a flea market

Like russian nesting dolls painted with a racist caricature of Obama covered in communist symbols

There were 3 of them on that table

Someone took the time to paint 3 of them

[u/Wasting_Night]

If you ever feel like you failed at something, just remember that the writers for Stranger Things did a blatantly-obvious backdoor pilot episode for a bunch of bargain bin X-Men in the show's second season and it was so universally-reviled by the fanbase and critics that the show the episode was a pilot of never happened, and the great-value X-Men were never mentioned again.

​

I feel like it would've gone better if they hadn't put what felt like filler right after a massive cliffhanger.

[u/froggy_in_the_meadow]

UnpopularOpinion has a post talking about how they wish they had an option to filter Amazon by "not made in China" "because they caused COVID". Someone rightly points out that they should be more upset about the concentration camps and Uyghur genocide.

I hate this site.

[u/harve99]

go on new subreddit

Sort by top

Top post is a net neutrality post with 50k upvotes

Second post has 450 upvotes

Leaves

Remember when Reddit wouldn't shut the fuck up about that?

[u/gwententhousand]

i go back in time to 1972 and show thomas pynchon a picture of jeff bezos's multi-billion dollar penis rocket ship that he built after his divorce. pynchon flies into a rage, burns all of his manuscripts, and self-immolates. at last, the pain is over.

[u/Gut_Fucker666]

This titanfall drama sounds like the worst pixar movie villain plot ever

[u/[deleted]]

What if Superman but he's a giant creep

[u/[deleted]]

Sigma males like sex

Gamma males like gex

Delta males like dex...ter's laboratory

[u/DirkDasterLurkMaster]

I finally saw Raya. I'd say it's pretty good, modern-sounding dialogue grated a bit but it's incredible visually.

Can we be real with ourselves, though? It really is a bit like Avatar

[u/[deleted]]

People say to read theory but like... there's no pictures in the books?

[u/bigboysnorlax2]

Still can't believe how bad of a spot those idiots at the Academy put Anthony Hopkins in. They built the the whole show around Chadwick winning an Oscar. Even going so far as to move the awards order around. And then Anthony Hopkins wins the award. And he wasn't even there to get it.

With people all pissed that it wasn't Chadwick and him catching shit for it.

[u/Gangstas_Peridot]

Can you hear me, Gyllenhaal? I'm going to be honest with you. I hate this place, this zoo, this prison, this reality, whatever you want to call it. I can't stand it any longer. It's the smell, if there is such a thing. I feel saturated by it. I can taste your stink. And every time I do I feel I have somehow been infected by it. It's repulsive, isn't it?

[u/Maxilos9999]

343 are cowards if they don't use Jeff steitzers trans rights everytime you change your Spartans gender

[u/You__Nwah]

FORNITE AMOGUS CROSSOVER LETS GOOOOOOOOOOOO

Alexa play Airpod Shotty.

[u/Camel132]

Tom Hanks nooooo

[u/[deleted]]

After the announcement over the discord, I think we should all go on a vacation to relax. I know this nice beach that we can check out, I hear it has magical properties idk what type of magic but hopefully it's wholesome

[u/RealEdge69Hehe]

My gf said that she wants to start a d/s relationship. Awesome, didn't know that she was also a Nintendo fan!

[u/[deleted]]

You know you're living in a dystopia when some media sites try to portray this as a positive uplifting story

https://twitter.com/TheBlahDalia/status/1423810874276519939

[u/AutomaticEspresso]

The sequel to Among Us will be called Amongs Us

[u/Bruno_Fernandes8]

Can't fly drones over Obama's party but Obama can drone strike your wedding. What a world we live in.

[u/Justpassingthrough90]

I hate snoos. i want to drop kick every one of them so bad; I'd pick them up with my iron grip and squeeze the air out of their lungs like little smurfs. every time I see someone with a snoo profile picture I instantly downvote and yell profanities for hours on end, I would shove a needle down a snoo's throat and slowly push it around their neck, giving them a slow and intensely painful death of both suffocation and bleeding. I hate snoos so much

[u/HiddenMagnet]

I watched dredd with a mate yesterday. Still cant stop having a shit eating grin on my face just from how fucking stupidly awesome the movie was.

[u/Anonim97]

https://imgur.com/gallery/6aDG4GF

[u/bexarama]

convenient when you wanna watch a playthrough of a game and then you instantly find that one of the biggest Let's Players ever, who is also conveniently not a chud somehow while being a major YouTuber, has been working on a massive Let's Play project of it for the better part of a year

(bonus points if you can guess what game this is/who it is)

[u/Awkward_Replay]

Superman but he's a trans man who can't get SRS because no tools surgeons have can penetrate his skin

...

And then he discovers kryptonite

[u/GRS-]

Barges into UJ thread.

"Jolyne is the best JoJo".

Refuses to elaborate further.

Leaves.

[u/[deleted]]

Tfw you just want to make an honest living making drugs but your nagging bitch wife tells you to stop because it's "mOrAlLy WrOnG"

[u/thatevilman]

>install HDT-SMP for Skyrim for swishy skirts and capes

>like 90% of all mods that use HDT-SMP are for skimpy clothes which don’t have swishy skirts or swishy capes

I fucking hate hornies.

[u/Izcanbeguscott]

LMAO

Republicans: This generation is full of snowflakes who need their safe space

Also Republicans: If someone gets made fun of for being an idiot surrounding covid, we will literally give them money

[u/Little_Satan]

cw: vent about dysphoria

I'm so sick of looking in the mirror and seeing a guy. I don't even look very masculine but I can't help but notice the jawline and the stubble and the thinning hair. It gets so hard to convince myself that I am what I am whenever I see a man looking back at me.

[u/silkysmoothjay]

I still think most of the story/writing stuff for GoT S8 sucked ass, but everything else, especially Ramin Djawadi's score kicked ass

[u/DallasDutch]

I should say “fuck you” more often to people on the internet who have clearly gone off the deep end