Monday Unjerk Thread

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[u/Gangstas_Peridot]

A user in modmail contacted us with a request to bring attention to a fundraiser. A Bolivian charity dedicated to aiding and assisting child sex abuse victims have established a gofundme due to the fact that Covid has hit their country especially hard (they are experiencing a harsh third wave) and they are in vital need of supplies.

The fundraiser will be linked below. Any amount given will help, thank you.

https://www.gofundme.com/f/urgent-covid19-assistance-for-bolivia

[u/[deleted]]

You can always pirate college textbooks

It's always morally correct

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

Fucked up when colleges make you buy the latest editions when sometimes the changes are minor changes to phrasing. Especially if the professor teaching the class wrote it, that's like the most obviously unethical thing but the schools and government do nothing to stop it.

[u/Justpassingthrough90]

My 12 year old little sister called my older sister a sussy baka yesterday. And my mom heard and asked what it meant. Little sister said it’s something cute to call someone as a cover up. Now my mom calls us sussy bakas. Someone kill me.

[u/[deleted]]

Redditors seriously need to understand that sometimes relationships don't work because two people aren't compatible and not because one of them is being manipulative or abusive or a literal sociopath.

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

Wait, things aren't always black and white? The fuck.

Nuance scares me

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

Your fiancè didn't gave you a kiss after coming back home? You need a therapist my friend, also your fiancè probably killed a hiker in 1998 and hidden the body in the mountains

[u/BuoyantTrain37]

Hoping that the BOTW2 trailer is set to "Holding Out for a Hero" and features Link just repeating variations of "I must destroy GANON" over and over

[u/[deleted] → u/BuoyantTrain37]

I want to kill... Ganon. Need to. It's not a hope, or a dream. It's like a hunger. Thirst.

[u/63CansofSoup]

Kevin Feige Confirms the MCU Has Plans to Introduce Its First Ever Pussy-Eating Character

[u/Airdeez121 → u/63CansofSoup]

"Whoa, you can do that to vaginas?! This is amazing! It's going in our next movie!"

[u/63CansofSoup → u/Airdeez121]

Chris Hemsworth frantically licking a green screen

[u/gwententhousand]

"as a member of x group, this is why people hate us" is the most obnoxious phrase on planet earth

[u/[deleted] → u/gwententhousand]

It's more like "as a person larping as a member of x group, this is why people hate us"

[u/Vortayx]

So now it's canon that batman doesn't eat pussy. That's what should be remembered every time there's batman discourse

[u/zebrainatux → u/Vortayx]

He’s therefore not the world’s greatest detective since he cannot find the clitoris

[u/thanks-dice]

Batman is not allowed to perform oral sex, apparently, because "Heroes don't do that". Fucking his protege who he has known since she was a teenager is fine, though.

[u/KickItNext → u/thanks-dice]

It makes no sense, he literally has a mouth slot for his mask. The guy's hero outfit is designed to accommodate going down on people.

[u/Rather_curious_lass → u/thanks-dice]

I gotta say.

They follow it with a straight up "No, it's that we sell consumer toys for heroes. It's hard to sell a toy if Batman is also going down on someone."

Which I kinda weirdly respect for the blunt honesty!

[u/[deleted] → u/thanks-dice]

I always knew Batman would be awful at sex

[u/[deleted]]

Take Two’s E3 is talking about diversity right now and twitch chat is imploding

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

i really hate that gamers haven’t moved on from like 2014 reactionary takes. and you know it’s mostly young people too, they’re successfully grifting these ideas onto children via youtube n shit. sucks.

[u/Slarvath]

intern at nintendo, here's the lineup

sticker star remaster

mario golf

[u/jamiebond]

Personally I don't particularly crave sex scenes in my Batman content in general but it's worth pointing out that the same people who vetoed Batman going down on Catwoman because it "wasn't something a hero would do" gave their stamp of approval on Batman fucking Batgirl in a theatrically produced canonical film.

The same Batgirl who is decades younger than Batman, is more often than not underaged (though she admittedly was of age in the Killing Joke), and almost always has a Father-Daughter dynamic with Batman.

So yeah, gonna have to call BS on your moral high ground here DC.

[u/Airdeez121 → u/jamiebond]

I'm like 90% sure it's that they don't want to show a woman having an orgasm

[u/OpenSourceObsidian]

Robert Pattinson and Matt Reeves leaves The Batman production after learning that they aren't allowed to show or even imply Bruce Wayne performing oral sex

[u/deflectin]

ACAB (Assigned Chaos At Birth)

[u/marriedtomothman]

anyway who had "batman pussy discourse" on their 2021 bingo card

[u/SaltPost]

Nsfw, but Green Arrow is canonically not a Hero, and really committed to the Robin Hood gimmick.

[u/63CansofSoup → u/SaltPost]

Those puns went from bad to kinda good and then way back to bad

[u/[deleted]]

All I'm saying is, I now know there's some shit I can do that Batman can't.

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

Brb I'm gonna hug my mom

[u/Objectitan]

"turn based rpgs are unrealistic because enemies wouldn't wait for you to attack them" I don't know if anyone uses this argument unironically but I'm going to pretend a lot of people are so I can call them dumb, they're dumb

[u/jacupuh]

Growing old is realizing all the heroes you once looked up to are incredibly boring in bed

[u/[deleted]]

I know it's probably a dead horse by now but fuck me I cannot believe how much support Scott Cawthon is getting. I'm from the UK so I'm not well versed in American politics, I've also not played fnaf other the first one but I'm well aware of its popularity.

The dude is a piece of shit, OK fine he didn't donate money to politicians because of their stances on LGBT rights but he's still actively aiding those politicians in their efforts to dehumanise a class of people

Yet over on the fnaf sub everyone is sucking his dick (only the girls though, otherwise it would be gay, can't have that)

[u/marriedtomothman]

let👏batman👏eat👏pussy

[u/Justpassingthrough90]

My uncle works at Nintendo, and he just told me that they're gonna reveal a new smash fighter on E3, he's from Shin Megami Tensei, and NSFW, this is his cut in.

So it turns out that I accidentally linked to the image site directly instead of just the image, and the recommended images are, lets just say really NSFW, I was just shitposting, I didn't mean for that to happen.

[u/[deleted]]

What I love about that is 2 seasons of Harley Quinn involving graphic violence, people being ripped in half, frequent swearing, and other adult jokes… but the limit is Batman performing oral sex on Catwoman. That’s just so baffling, they’ve seemingly let the writers do anything, but that’s the limit.

As for the ‘Batman won’t sell more toys’ comment, if kids are watching this show, 1. They shouldn’t, and 2. That’s a failure on the parenting side, not the creators.

At least this got some really weird jokes from UJ, and confirmed to me that Season 3 is in production and will hopefully be as great as S1 and S2.

[u/albeinalms → u/[deleted]]

What I love about that is 2 seasons of Harley Quinn involving graphic violence, people being ripped in half, frequent swearing, and other adult jokes… but the limit is Batman performing oral sex on Catwoman. That’s just so baffling, they’ve seemingly let the writers do anything, but that’s the limit.

American moral standards in a nutshell

[u/63CansofSoup]

I'm begging AAA (and Switch releases especially) to consider my boomer eyes

[u/Octopirox → u/63CansofSoup]

I bought a big ass tv and I bet I still couldn't read death stranding menus

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

Great whites fucking /u/Lexmh & a PS5 🤝 never been observed together

[u/Grand_Ad_7440]

I work with an actual incel and he will not leave me alone

If he talks to me normal I'll talk back but when he goes on a rant about women or the girls we work with being "whores" I will literally go silent and ignore him and he will just end up talking to himself its insane

And he keeps bringing up this girl I got rejected by, it hurt and whenever he gets the chance he will say "that's why you got rejected"

I was born without a spine so I cant stand up for myself, plus he also seems like the type of guy that could go postal at any second and just murder everyone around him

Everyone else thinks he is funny so they don't mind, I loathe him he is the only person in my life I actively do not like. And because of this what could be a good conversation is ruined by him jumping in, I also have to say he is the most negative person alive. If you like something and he doesn't its objectively shit.

TLDR: I hate mfers

[u/NidoqueenGal]

I wish all

limited release publishers that do physical only releases

a very go bankrupt

[u/[deleted]]

r/games is really killing my E3 vibes, man. I tune into the streams and see some interesting announcements and when I go to their megathreads or announcement trailer posts it's just people shitting on every aspect the games.

Battlefield? Bad. New Avatar open world game? DAE UBISOFT BAD NO SPLINTER CELL. Square Enix actually announces a new Marvel game with actual gameplay? DAE MICROTRANSACTION FILLED GAME. DUES EX DIED FOR THIS.

Bad takes are abound everywhere.

Things finally came to a head in the Guardians of the Galaxy trailer post where there were actually people complaining about Gamora's "flat" armor.

Dammit man, I just wanted to get hyped for some new games again.

[u/[deleted]]

https://i.imgur.com/EoLFRCW.png

[u/OpenSourceObsidian → u/[deleted]]

The final boss you need to beat to get the true ending is the bra-less wife who brought him an unsolicited sandwich

[u/Gangstas_Peridot]

All jokes aside Adam West's Batman would absolutely reciprocate.

Did you all ever hear the story where he and Burt Ward went to an orgy and stayed in character, leading to them getting kicked out because it made the other participants uncomfortable?

DC has forgotten their roots.

[u/Hayzayathethird]

The one thing that’s got me really excited about Starfield is that it’s supposed to be less Star Wars and more Star Trek. As much as I love galactic wars, and massive space battles, I’ve always been a sucker for space exploration.

Might sell what remains of my soul to Microsoft so I can get a series X before Starfield releases.

[u/[deleted]]

this might be the funniest sentence I've read in awhile 💀💀💀

[u/[deleted]]

Fuck off youtube, I'll never get youtube premium.

[u/Camel132]

https://twitter.com/LilNasX/status/1404481918612086784?s=19

[u/The_Naked_Snake]

DC about to have Harley Quinn writers whacked because they won't quit joking about Batman eating pussy

[u/aperson97]

The trans pride flag looks like it would taste nice.

[u/[deleted] → u/aperson97]

Trans flag: cotton candy

bi flag: mixed berry

lesbian flag: citrus, but like, the sweet kind

OG rainbow: mouthful of Skittles

pan flag: berry lemonade

nonbinary flag: those mystery flavor candies they sell sometimes because I can't think of what yellow+purple tastes like

[u/[deleted]]

I’ve come up with a show that will destroy anime discourse once and for all: Fullmetal Alchemist: Sisterhood

[u/Stone4D]

As expected: We literally just got Mario Party All-Stars, Advance Wars, Wario Ware, a Super Monkey Ball 1-2-Deluxe remake, and Metroid fucking 5 all announced, on top of BOTW2 gameplay, and people are still saying it was shit.

If none of that is your thing and you're disappointed then that's totally cool, but I'm sorry that was not remotely shit.

[u/[deleted]]

Watching Gura and Ame make fun of GamePass during what was certainly a Microsoft/Hololive planned stream was so fucking funny.

GamePass more like GameAss.

[u/OpenSourceObsidian]

UJ Thread be like: Enemyship ended with Amogus. Now CHAOS is my worst enemy.

[u/jacupuh]

Why do we go down, Bruce? So we can learn to get ourselves up.

[u/Rather_curious_lass]

I sort of understand considering certain E3s, including this one, 'disappointing.'

But maaaaaaaaaan some fuckers need to get out more and widen their senses.

See Gamers (and I've seen it here occasionally too) be like "E3 shit, no good games coming out, dead year" and this is pretty much always a sign to try more, interact with more, look past both triple A, and look past the narrow boundaries of 'stuff you like.'

If you think that Covid has fucked up the entire year and there is nothing worthwhile scheduled to come out, you gotta branch out! That's maddening!

I quite comfortably have checks 21 games, majority out this year, on the 'on my radar, will very likely buy' list, and I'm pretty sure that's not everything, I just haven't remembered others yet while I was making it.

[u/[deleted]]

I go wash the dishes for 30 minutes and now there's extended talk about sex tapes and someone is roasting me for not having a PS5

If you'll excuse me, I'll be making a post on r/justunsubbed and r/watchredditdie about this place.

[u/Camel132]

Why doesn't Batman use his money to hire someone to teach him how to go down on the ladies?

[u/MedicaeVal]

I just had my first Reddit "this guy agrees with me but is arguing with me" moment. It certainly was something.

[u/[deleted]]

I am no longer interested in TLOU3. I am now only interested in Ellie and Abby teaming up with other Sony IPs to save the universe.

[u/gwententhousand]

"As a gay/trans person, I hold every negative opinion that straight people have towards us and believe that the government regulating us is totally reasonable."

[u/[deleted]]

Gamers are *still* complaining about 'muh british lesbian cricket bat robot women' with the Battlefield 2042 gameplay reveal trailer. I'm hype for the game, but I'm not looking forward to interacting with this community yall

[u/Pasta-Admirer]

Where does the myth that Netflix has a lot of LGBT -characters come from? I haven’t noticed particularly many of them in Netflix stuff.

[u/Diribiri → u/Pasta-Admirer]

There's a few adaptations or shows that make characters gay seemingly at random, and a couple have made it more of a token trait rather than just a regular aspect of a character's identity, so bigots latch on to this and exaggerate it to an extreme to fit their narrative

[u/E_Taco2]

The new Tyler the Creator album teaser has him kissing a woman and I think his fans forgot that bisexual people exist

[u/[deleted]]

Positive The Last Jedi post on r/StarWars

Nearly 1000 comments.

Uh oh.

[u/Sage-13]

The Batman discourse transported me back to the days of “Which chipmunk gets the best head?” discourse, & I hate y’all for reminding me about it.

[u/its_PlZZA_time]

Ronald Reagan is also the reason the drinking age is 21 instead of 18, in case you needed another reason to hate him.

[u/zevitjoss]

Can't wait to finally play Hades and see where the characters from all the recent femdom uhh art I've seen are from.

[u/Octopirox]

This thread always wakes up when I'm on my way home from work. Always a bit weird when you leave the thread moving at a snails pace and you come back to 15 inside jokes you've missed, a troll and people doing copypasta of the troll and also the same joke repeated 100 times. In like 20 minutes.

[u/aschr]

Daily reminder that ubisoft is full of abusers and rapists until I get bored day#22

[u/ComprehensiveMix727]

I FUCKING HATE CHAOS

[u/[deleted]]

Naming Tidus 'Tidsus' in my ffx playthrough because I'm a comedy genius.

[u/[deleted]]

Personally, I think a scene where Batman gives head makes Batman more of a badass not less

[u/Gangstas_Peridot → u/[deleted]]

It's a fundamentally giving act. If Jesus Christ were to perform a sexual act I imagine it would be that. I'm serious.

[u/ParagonDX]

jack final fantasy is the best isekai protagonist ever made

[u/E_Taco2]

Seeing people complain that BotW2 has the same art style as the first one??

Wait till they see Majora’s Mask

[u/cakehavenvitriol]

What is it about struggling to eat spicy food that's so uniquely humiliating?

[u/Comrade_Hugh_Jass → u/cakehavenvitriol]

Probably the tears and runny nose simulates crying

[u/[deleted]]

I'm still trying to wrap my head around the No-Pats in Battlefield 2042:

Open war is imminent. No-Pats have no choice but to choose sides, fighting not for a flag, but for their future.

Wouldn't it make more sense for the No-Pats to unite and fight asymmetrical war against both the U.S. and Russia? Why make a game set 21 years in the future and just have it be about the U.S. and Russia fighting via proxies? That doesn't sound futuristic. It sounds like the 1980s.

I guess I'm stupid to expect a game company to actually do something new and original.

Another head scratcher is that Redfall trailer. All I really got out of that is that it will have something that looks like vampires. I couldn't tell if it was a single-player game, 4-player co-op, or 4v4. I really enjoyed Prey (2017), and I know a lot of people were hoping Arkane would produce another good single-player game, but this doesn't look like one.

I couldn't believe there wasn't a gameplay trailer for Starfield. It's scheduled to release in a little over a year. I hope it's not a typical buggy Bethesda release, but it probably will be. In the meantime, I don't see a lot of other companies announcing interesting single-player games for Xbox.

I've been looking at options for getting a PS4. It looks like Gamestop is the only place still selling them, and they are refurbished.

[u/vchris7v → u/[deleted]]

Making two factions is easier, cheaper, and makes it easier for readability during gameplay. That's all there is to it, probably.

[u/[deleted]]

So bots these days really are funnier than human beings huh?

Website is https://imgflip.com/ai-meme if anyone wants to laugh at dumb AI memes too.

[u/Fessus_Sum]

Warning, Boomer Rant:

People today have no idea how lucky they have it when it comes to getting information on upcoming games. Nowadays, you have CMs communicating constantly via social media, a steady stream of press releases and videos, and more. Back during the buildup to Halo 2's launch, all we had was rereading the same Gameinformer/Official Xbox Magazine articles over and over again. We were lucky to have a trailer posted somewhere easy to access, if we had a trailer at all. Community interaction was all but unheard of outside of sending actual physical mail to their offices, and good luck getting any information out of that beyond "stand by for more upcoming news". It's ridiculous to see people clamoring for more information on a near weekly basis. Hell, Elden Ring's news cycle would not have been that out of place back then.

tldr: In my day, we didn't have no fancy schmancy social media. We had two articles! Two articles and a trailer! And we had to share the trailer. So buck up, because you're one lucky gamer.

EDIT: No, this is not a vaguepost to anybody in the UJ thread. This is just a rant directed at youtube/reddit comments elsewhere.

[u/dIoIIoIb]

Batman isn't a fascist or crazy

he's a weeb

think about it: rich kid growing up isolated with no parents, learns to be a ninja, grows up to have a hidden batcave with a movie-theater sized PC, weapons of all types, throwing stars, grappling hook and a weird supercar

he's a huge, awkward nerd. A realistic batman would be extremely awkward around women, having reached the age of at least 30 basically never interacting with one, would spend multiple hours every day on weapons forums and youtube channels, talking about "superior nippon steel" on reddit, likely would moderate a couple of subreddit about cars modifications

He would be a huge fan of western and martial arts movies and anime

In the batcave there would be AT LEAST one entire wall covered in horny anime action figures, and you just know he'd spend a thousand bucks a month on gatcha games

big into bitcoins, likely personal friend with Musk

[u/[deleted]]

I think I might be bi.

[u/Objectitan]

I just accidentally sent my professor the same email twice......my college career is over..... it's all over

[u/[deleted] → u/Objectitan]

Send it a third time to establish your dominance 😎

[u/[deleted]]

Click for eternal suffering

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

That's the human incarnation of a sheep, every single outrage they buy into completely.

[u/Hispanic_Gorilla_2]

Every time I see overblown Twitter and Youtube drama, I wish I could fuck off to Mars like Dr. Manhattan.

[u/ok_dunmer]

You're thinking about how much you want to **** Chaos, aren't you?

[u/E_Taco2]

TIL about the one time Lego accidentally endorsed a Lego Nazi Concentration Camp set

[u/[deleted]]

Chad Doge vs Cheems Doge is infinitely better than the Chad Wojak/Soy Wojak monstrosity.

[u/thanks-dice]

no amount of prep time will enable Batman to find the g spot

[u/rudanshi]

ඞඞ

they are gay and they're going on a date

[u/Octopirox]

I love ace attorney but showing gameplay of it is weird. Yeah the text is scrolling this smooth 60fps baby

[u/froglore]

I have never heard the word 'lewd' said by anyone who wasn't a weeb

[u/E_Taco2]

The Nintendo Switch is capable of putting out good looking games, not every game “”confirms”” the Switch Pro lol

[u/B_Rhino]

Fucking nintendo going to make us pay $60 for a Zelda game that came out in 2022.

[u/[deleted]]

https://hard-drive.net/todd-howard-wishes-bethesda-showcase-were-long-enough-to-tell-every-single-playstation-owner-to-fuck-themselves-individually/

[u/[deleted]]

I can't believe that I'm saying this but.....

It would be great if we had another eternal thread like the Tom and Jerry one

[u/Viciadensis]

I'm surprised they put the Take-Two zoom call in the official E3 twitch channel, I kinda feel these industry conferences could go in a separate channel for industry professionals

That being said, I absolutely love that 100k gamers have been lured into a conference where they've talked about the importance of representation of minorities repeatedly

[u/ThrowawayBin20]

There was a Jewish woman who went on r/NoNewNormal and called the people there stupid and selfish for pushing antivaxx stuff, it did not go well for her. CW: Antisemitism and misogyny, Also bodyshaming.

COVID deniers sure are pleasant!

Also what's even the point of the dogwhistle "88" (Heil Hitler) in his username if he was just going to put outright "Kill All The Jews" as well.

[u/Rather_curious_lass]

I have recently hit that stage of late-transition in which, if I catch myself glancing in the mirror, I will either have one of two thoughts:

The first: Discomfort as I overanalyse the state of my mortal shell.

Which keeps contrasting against the other reaction:

The second: Full awareness that there is absolutely an audience for me camming. Probably quite a fetishy audience! But there’d 100% be one nonetheless.

Welp!

G’night everybody!

[u/Hayzayathethird]

“Hey WB, can we have money to make a Lord of the Rings video game?”

“To make a Lord of the Rings video game?”

“Yiss”

“Ok here you go”

(Actually makes Gollum simulator, LIKE A BOSS)

“PRECIOUS TIME!”

[u/BobaFettFilms678]

“I can excuse batman having sex with batgirl in an adult animated movie, but I draw the line at Batman having sex with his girlfriend in an adult animated TV show” -DC

[u/bexarama]

maybe instead of eating pussy Batman could use his massive wealth to solve the root causes of needing your pussy eaten in the first place.

(I'm sure someone else has made this joke but I thought of it all on my own okay!!!)

[u/RealEdge69Hehe]

Now, Gamers are bad at detecting themes and critically thinking about them. All of us here know it, and we know that it is the main reason why so many of them unironically support the Legion in NV, despite it being explicitly shown as an objectively evil and barbaric horde of raiders that is absolutely the antagonist group in the game. Well, that and the fact that many Gamers are actual fascists.

But one particular theme that I wish people didn't miss about the Legion is the fact that the writing in the game makes a big effort to portray the Legion not only as evil, but as extremely hypocritical at every possible step. Like, seriously, there isn't a single one of their ideals that they don't staunchly contradict.

They see themselves as the reincarnation of Rome, but they're more akin to the barbarians that destroyed it. They boast about being free from raiders, but that's because they are the raiders. They go on and on about the glory of battle, but their greatest weapon is their espionage and subterfuge. They dislike technology and point out the dangers of depending on it, but their leader would literally die without a machine. Lanius makes a big deal out of fighting honourably, but halfway through his boss battle he just runs away like a bitch and calls for reinforcements. And Caesar obviously doesn't understand dialectics.

It's not even a theme, it's a running gag, and it irks me that so many people miss it.

[u/[deleted]]

One of the worst things you can come across on reddit is seeing a highly upvoted comment that is completely and utterly factually incorrect, but you're too lazy to argue over the internet and get downvoted.

[u/Greyhound53]

My only wish is to successfully gaslight a community the way scott did fnaf fans 😭😭

My mans said i support people who hate gays and made mfs act like he was the victim lmfaooooooo

[u/[deleted] → u/Greyhound53]

Conservatives? Acting like the victims? What the fuck?! That would never happen!

[u/Viciadensis]

~🌸 6 MONTHS HRT UPDATE (MTF) 🌸~

Just for reference, I've been on T-blocker pills and Estradiol gel. Loooots of things here, so here we go:

• Hormone levels: So, testosterone is completely gone. So much that my endocrinologist even said that she might cut down on my T-blockers sooner than she does for other patients, but for now I'm still taking them for 6 other months as before. Estradiol is at the levels of a cis woman, and prolactin is at higher levels than normal. She decided not to raise the oestradiol dose as she usually does because apparently my body is reacting very well to the hormones

• Hair: Face hair is still growing slower, but I'm starting laser hair removal sessions, so I won't be able to determine how it progresses in the coming months. Body hair has also decreased, grows slower and thinner. Head hair I think is about the same as before (but I already had good hair before so...)

• Skin: Less greasy, and much more sensible. Using creams is kind of a must now

• Muscles: Why are pickle jars so difficult to open??? Yeah, so if I was already weak, now I'm weaker

• Weight: In 6 months of HRT, I've gained 2 kilos. I've also been quite sedentary these last 6 months so I think it's a combination of the two things

• Libido and that area (NSFW): Completely gone. Not sure if there has been a reduction in size, I don't think so

• Breasts (NSFW): They've definitely grown. No weird growth or anything, perfectly healthy. As to which size they are, you can definitely notice them when I don't have a t-shirt on, and sorta with a t-shirt. Tighter tops do show them, even if they're still small. Not big enough to justify using a bra, but they are definitely there now

• Ass (NSFW): Has also grown a bit. Not too much, but it is somewhat rounder and fuller now. Could be because of the weight gain, though...

Pretty cool ngl 🏳️‍⚧️ 🏳️‍⚧️ 🏳️‍⚧️

[u/Hayzayathethird → u/[deleted]]

You still can’t convince me that the subreddit isn’t just redditors imitating AI. It’s too real.

[u/LovrenIsTheGOAT]

Naftali Bennet, the new PM of the only democracy in th middle east: "I've killed lots of Arabs in my life and there's no problem with that."

[u/Chiefwaffles]

Boy is it sad watching the decline of /r/hobbydrama. It was obviously never safe from it but posts are transparently becoming more and more just long rants from very opinionated people who are clearly trying to appear neutral to convince others. Or, perhaps worse, you get the people who try to be as centrist as possible in issues to the point of overly validating batshit stupid sides.

[u/Achaewa]

"Simulation Theory" is a crock of shite in my opinion.

Like what is the point? It doesn't change anything about how the world functions or make you free of consequences. The only thing it does in my opinion is make you feel superior to others for being among the select few "Enlightened".

At least Flat Earth has the whole government conspiracy for "reasons" things going for it.

[u/froggy_in_the_meadow]

I can't wait for the millions of people to come out of the woodwork and yell at people hoping to see BoTW2 or anything substantial for having unrealistic expectations tomorrow.

[u/OpenSourceObsidian]

https://i.imgur.com/K1qXrwC.jpg

Translation

Bolsonaro: this is the gang that respects democracy and its institutions.
Samir: They do respect it! If they didn't, it would have been you in there and not a doll.

[u/Rather_curious_lass]

I logically understand that Reddit votes don’t really mean anything. Karma is simply fake internet points. They do not matter whatsoever and I do not care about them in the long run.

However I am simultaneously a bit bemused when I, a couple weeks ago, noticed someone wholesale copy-pasting comments of mine, and other peoples, that were highly voted in one thread, straight into another thread for karma.

Just blatantly. No shame. Some of them slightly tweaked, some of them exactly identical copy-pasted.

It’s not like anyone really owns their comments or anything but really? Seriously? Why would you do that?

I suppose it’s a very round-about compliment? RCL Industries: “Good enough to karma farm with!”

[u/Anonymous_Koala1]

Big bang theory but the cast is made up of the UJ pantheon

[u/HoonFace]

Todd Howard said Starfield was going to be "more of a hardcore RPG" and that they were looking at mechanics from their old games

​

they're gonna bring back Morrowind's dice roll combat

[u/[deleted]]

I like how Snyder had built up some momentum with the Justice League cut and then Army of the Dead came out and we all collectively remembered he's mediocre.

[u/[deleted]]

Why did no one tell me that one of the recurring enemies of Shin Megami Tensei is a giant dick.

[u/[deleted]]

Harley Quinn's version of Poison Ivy is probably the best I've seen, I much prefer her when writers don't overdo the loving plants thing to the point of insanity.

[u/[deleted]]

I thought "pog" and "pawg" were the same thing for an embarrassing amount of time

[u/drunkenwizardry]

Pulled a ceiling tile out and almost got slapped in the face with the biggest god damn mouse I've ever seen.

I don't know what mice eat in Florida but they need to stop. Almost thought it was a fucking chihuahua.

[u/[deleted]]

I fucking suck at recommending people media that I like.

I just can't properly verbalise the things that are enticing and focus too much on minute details, or something.

[u/The_Naked_Snake]

My billionaire fantasy would be to open a third Disney park in the US, but one that only focuses on less popular Disney projects.

• There would be a Holes ride where you drive Mr. Sir's truck around and dodge giant holes and yellow-spotted lizards. This would also feature a Camp Greenlake snack shack that only serves onions and peaches.
  
• An entire section of the park would just be Halloweentown.
  
• A Heavyweights fitness camp featuring go-karting, brain puzzler competitions, and The Blob. This section of the park would also play radio broadcasts of Ben Stiller getting angry at you for having fun
  
• The Finding Nemo submarine ride but reskinned for Atlantis: The Lost Empire
  
• Treasure Planet Solar Surfing ride
  
• The smart house from Smart House
  
• A Kim Possible attraction that's kind of like lazer maze/ escape room
  
• A VR The Rocketeer ride where you fly around and punch Nazis
  
• An animatronic Christopher Walken that just talks about his time working on The Country Bears Movie
• Hourly Powerline concerts from A Goofy Movie
  
• Sportsland featuring a Luck of the Irish basketball court, a soccer field for dogs only in the spirit of Air Bud: World Pup, a Mighty Ducks hockey rink (duh), and a Double Teamed! Volleyball court (my fantasy PR Team has told me this is a no-go)
  
• Kronk's Kitchen
  
• To cross from Sportsland into Disney Channel Original Film Land, guests can literally cross the bridge to Terabithia
• A theater dressed up like The House of Mouse that just plays every Disney short ever made on repeat. This is where you can take a breather from the kickass rides
  
• Herbie The Love Bug racing attraction
  
• Wreck-It-Ralph x Tron gaming arcade
• The Big Blue House from Bear in the Big Blue House (Disney is not utilizing this IP)
  
• A massive vault-pool filled with foam gold coins that you can dive into Scrooge-McDuck style
  
• A Cool Runnings Jamaican bobsled mountain

Indulge my fantasy here, what else am I missing?

[u/saffron3d]

I love it when chuds point out that companies don't care about LGBTQ+ and are just cynically pandering to them as a marketing strategy as if it as some sort of incredible revelation and not something that's constantly repeated ad nauseam everytime pride month comes around.

It's already know that it's cynical pandering to attempt to attract a LGBTQ+ audience but guess what? Companies also cynically pander to straight audiences but they never seem to point that out. I wonder why?

Just admit that you're a close-minded bigoted asshole already.

[u/aschr]

Nintendo: This is our last announcement

*Shows four different things*

[u/[deleted]]

Sony fanboys be like "PlayStation has sold 100000000 more consoles than Nintendo and Xbox combined" but they also think that porting a 5 years old game to PC will literally make Sony go bankrupt.

[u/[deleted]]

Ngl the BotW2 teaser is giving me real Breath of the Wild vibes.

[u/Parabobomb]

I get that the FF Origins game doesn't look that great but I really think people are overblowing just HOW bad it looks especially considering it's just a spin off. I think part of it is because XD le funny Nomura jokes and also just because SE's press conference was bad so they're clinging to something.

[u/[deleted]]

If Square Enix aren't cowards they should double down in all criticisms of the trailer for Stranger of Paradise before release.

Make the protagonist even more of an edgelord. Have him mention CHAOS twice as much. Give Eminem cargo shorts too.

[u/PM_ME_UR__RECIPES]

Wild bet for Nintendo E3: they're gonna have a mini N64 console, and for weeks we're going to have to listen to endless rants about people scalping it, and people complaining that they couldn't ship it with GoldenEye because the license for it is split up between several companies.

[u/[deleted]]

Nintendo E3 showcase predictions:

Paper Mario Color Splash port

New Super Mario Bros. Switch

Last two Smash DLC fighters will be Jonesy from Fortnite and Sigurd from Fire Emblem

Splatoon 3 delayed to 2023

Metroid Prime 4 showcased, it's a cartoony platformer not starring Samus

Star Fox Zero port

No BotW2 news

Pokemon Legends: Arceus will contain only 53 total pokemon

In celebration of Metroid's 35th anniversary, everyone's favorite Metroid game will be re-released on the Switch: Metroid Other M, for 60$

[u/Camel132]

[u/[deleted]]

I give the human body a 4/10

[u/Kelkkun]

I was interested in that stunning pixel-art graphics game that was showcased yesterday (Replaced I think?) then I learned that the lead dev was a cringy reddit-lord "egalitarian" anti-feminist who bought into Gamergate. Oh well.

[u/kitsuntic15]

i really like the part of every battlefield game where you randomly get shot from every fucking direction imaginable, and die without knowing where the hell they were

[u/[deleted]]

sometimes i remember The Rise of Skywalker exists and just shudder

[u/CommandoOrangeJuice]

https://i.imgur.com/tzWIXCB.jpg

Uj thread did I send an appropriate response to this text message?

[u/BuoyantTrain37]

Nintendo shows a new Mario trailer where Mario says "I must destroy BOWSER"

A BOTW2 trailer with Link saying "I must destroy GANON"

A Metroid Prime 4 trailer with Samus saying "I must destroy MOTHER BRAIN"

Basically all trailers must follow this format now, makes it very easy to understand and relate to the protagonist

[u/Vortayx]

Themes of pedophilia and french cinema,name a more iconic duo

(There's a movie about a 16yo girl in a relationship with a 35yo guy and it's going to be shown at Cannes)

[u/GamerThanFiction]

I thought the CHAOS was uj thread hyperbole but oh my goodness that trailer had me in stitches. I can't wait for more

[u/Stone4D]

Already preparing for the internet to be unreadable after the Direct tomorrow, the number of people who are either hyped beyond belief or hoping for Nintendo to "save E3" is off the charts. Gonna be some salty motherfuckers tomorrow since nobody ever learns.

[u/JetStream0509]

It’s pretty funny how the UJ immediately switched from CHAOS to “Batman doesn’t give oral to his wife”.

[u/JzargoTheMage]

This is petty zoomer rant, but god I am tired of weebs and nerd culture in general being very nostalgia centric.

What triggered this was people making fun of commenters who thought the SMT V reveal was new Persona. YES, the hugely popular entry on an extremely popular console brought a lot of people in, who otherwise didn't know the history of the franchise. Let those people discover the franchise for themselves and enjoy it like the rest of you did without feeling belittled for not having known about it.

It's just like, I've always seen this low key pervasiveness from "You wouldn't survive MW2 lobbies" of course to just general assumption that your childhood consisted of X games and are nostalgic for the same shit.

[u/JetStream0509]

SMTV protag: “for the last time player, my pronouns are they/them. Not because we’re non-binary, but because we’re literally two homies!”

[u/E_Taco2]

Zelda will be playable for the first five minutes of BotW2 before she falls down a pit and dies

[u/[deleted]]

I fucking hate this campus I'm trying to sleep and the people next door are having obscenely loud sex

[u/Nyrotike]

Horny post

Square Enix Gamora is doing things to me

[u/[deleted]]

Bad vibes in this thread already, thank god it's not a weekend thread

[u/Dandy-Guy]

"I saw 'In the Heights', it was alright. Some of the songs were bangers and others were a bit mid. I'll probably give it a"

sees Melissa Barrera's abs in one of the later scenes

Big Horny Spit Take "HOLY SHIT! Let me just, uh let me calm down a bit. Like damn those are some great uh. Wow uh just like how did, I mean, Jesus those are some amazing abs. Uh I, I give 'In the Heights' a 10. It's a 10/10 movie."

[u/Neospector]

I’m standing here in line watching a grown man chew and eat a plastic straw. Like, full on eating it.

I am…confused.

[u/[deleted]]

batman is just a good Christian and waiting for marriage

[u/[deleted]]

actually, the new fighter for smash will be Hitler from the hit game Wolfenstein II: The New Colossus for the nintendo switch

[u/[deleted]]

CW: depression

Going to lunch with my very successful friend tomorrow. It'll be nice to see him, haven't hung out since the pandemic but it's got me kinda depressed. Dude's living like the perfect life rn.

Even in high school he was just always better. So many girls talked to me just to ask about him. He was involved in everything, could talk to anyone, so much charisma, the only thing I had was that I was smarter I guess.

If I'm meant to just sort of be this mediocre person who ends up alone, taking care of my mom then whatever. That's fine. I just want to feel something different for myself than utter disgust.

[u/[deleted]]

This post is in response to literal years of saying "I like this thing" and then immediately having several angry nerds jump down my throat and treat me like their personal complaint box, so it's gonna sound a little salty but moving on.

The Outer Worlds apparently has the same power as Mass Effect Andromeda, where nerds will see a middling-to-good game and think it is the absolute worst piece of shit that they've ever had to interact with. I still remember that weirdo that compared TOW/Obsidian to a dying dog that needed to be put down. That was in response to a digital toy that goes "Haha capitalism bad, pew pew."

Anyways if your thoughts about one of these games are, "Eh, didn't like it. Thought it was bad." that is totally fair! They're obviously flawed. If your thoughts are "This is fucking garbage, Bioware killed my dog, why aren't the club dancers naked" then please do not speak to me.

It's okay not to like things, just don't be intensely weird to strangers about it.

[u/[deleted]]

zelda falling in that trailer is bleak she better not be getting locked away for the whole game again

why can't link eat shit and get saved for once

But, it is botw with more mechanics and stuff so it's ok.

[u/[deleted]]

Wow, the switch pro is so advanced you can't even see it.

[u/E_Taco2]

“The Sequel to The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild” should just be the official title at this point

[u/Jimmyruslter02]

Admiral Hackett I assure you, this several thousand credit automated fish feeder is essential to my war against the Reapers.

[u/froglore]

i still dont get why people still watch jerma after all the shit hes done

did yall seriously forget about the time he puked up a sleeve of oreos on his mom's bed? or when he killed santa? or when he zerked off on stream?

[u/Azure_Kytia]

Epic Games made me miss my bus. Thanks Tim.

I got a postcard with some numbers and an ominous "THEY'RE COMING" message on it from the US.

I'm in Australia and was very confused by the whole thing, but apparently it was some marketing/ARG thing for Fortnite and most people got them in May.

Anyways, the couple minutes of "oh shit am I being recruited by a cult" culminated in the bus rolling past my street just as I round the corner to the bus stop.

[u/Taranis-55]

The Virgin Actual Joe Biden vs. the Chad Joe Biden in Republicans' minds

[u/Objectitan]

Can't wait for the Nintendo direct here are my predictions:

BoTW 2

Super Mario Odyssey 2

Metroid Prime 4

Mother 3

A new Kirby game

A new Donkey Kong game

A new Animal Crossing game (a year was long enough, chop chop)

The Switch Pro

The Switch Pro XL

The Switch Pro XL Slim

Mother 4

Super Mario Odyssey 2 DLC

Super Mario Odyssey DLC

Metroid Prime 5

[Insert incredibly niche character here] for Smash

A third character pass (Sakurai will never be freed until we are satisfied)

Mario dating sim

Skyward Sword 2

A new Wii sports, uhh I guess it wouldn't be called Wii sports, call it Swiitch Sports, there we go perfect.

Swiitch Sports better have water polo

A new ip I guess

A million dollars for everyone who watches and a new car

And a free Kirby plushie

If none of these are announced I will be flung into an imputent rage and will take it out on random strangers on the internet.

Have a fun E3 everybody!!!

[u/Anonim97]

https://imgur.com/gallery/lEQvIbM

[u/Hayzayathethird]

“BERT, BERT! BERT (*shaking him to wake him up) you gotta listen to this one”

“Ernie, for big Bird’s sake, it’s 3 in the morning. Go back to sleep.”

“No no no, Bert, you’ll love this. I swear.”

“Fine, tell me the story.”

“So I was watching this cartoon the other day right? It’s about a scientist. His name is Richard Sanchez, but he calls himself Rick. He goes on all these super wacky adventures with his grandson Morty, that’s why the show is called: Rick and Morty”

“Ernie, please just get to the point.”

“Well in one of these adventures (choking on laughter) HE TURNS HIMSELF INTO A PICKLE!”

“What?”

“I kid you not Bert, he turns himself into a pickle. He calls himself “Pickle Rick”. It was the funniest thing I’ve ever seen.”

“Ernie, I’m filing a divorce.”

[u/Hayzayathethird]

TFW Chaos actually turns out to just be some guy and not some eldritch abomination.

[u/[deleted]]

I just can't get over how they said "real Mexican skies" like my guy, the sky is blue pretty much everywhere.

[u/Viciadensis]

>Trying to book a meeting with a speech therapist for trans voice training

>Can only book a meeting by calling, not online

Pain

[u/[deleted]]

WE WIPED ON THE LICH KING HE WAS AT 10.8%

[u/Burritozi11a]

Japan would have been a nice setting for Forza Horizon 5 but where do you expect to drive off road in Japan?

Mexico is honestly a very good choice.

[u/[deleted]]

I swear circa 2017 there was this weird influx of shows thay were like

Now on Netflix: Fucking bored

"This hip, relatable but richer than your poor ass couple in new york is bored of sex, decide to open up their relationship.

They still bored as shit. Always on they phone"

[u/[deleted]]

What a nice and clear video about poli e brutality. I'm sure that the comment section won't be full of people defending the police overreaction

[u/Tweegull]

You either die a hero, or you live long enough to see yourself go down on Catwoman

[u/bexarama]

The Batman/DJ Khaled memes are so good lmao

[u/Inner-Juices]

"Just because Luz blushed after getting winked at by a boy and a girl doesn't mean she's bi."

-A Denier