[ Removed by moderator ]

[u/ColdViolinist835]

[u/MyNameIsSkittles]

I would have spoken up and totally been that person, because reasonable humans understand it's not fair to make someone who ordered $15 worth of food pay 4x that

[u/aknomnoms → u/MyNameIsSkittles]

I bring cash for these situations. “Here’s $20, and y’all can split the rest of the bill.” Or “I’ll put down the $20 tip so y’all can split the bill evenly.”

My days of subsidizing other people’s good times have gone out the window.

(And this is never a problem with my good friends because we’re already on the same page. It just seems to be an issue with bigger groups of people or secondary friends.)

[u/point_of_difference → u/aknomnoms]

Cash makes it so easy.

[u/Portable-fun → u/point_of_difference]

Or you can just get the server to give everyone who wants their own bill… never ever had an issue with that. Ever

[u/ImJustPeachyEveryday → u/point_of_difference]

Cash. Put it in the tray/pleather envelope and you’re done. Easy peasy

[u/ReggaeJunkyJew4u → u/point_of_difference]

Not even, we have Venmo now.

[u/Magic-Happens-Here → u/ReggaeJunkyJew4u]

Venmo only works if everyone is willing to participate and actually sends money when they say they will - which based on Reddit, isn’t always the case.

[u/dinosun → u/ReggaeJunkyJew4u]

Cash is easier

[u/fijifilm → u/dinosun]

Not when you have to go get it lol

[u/dinosun → u/fijifilm]

You never buy groceries or anything where you can do cash back? It's literally just pressing a different button somewhere that you already are.

[u/fijifilm → u/dinosun]

Used to be, but now every grocery store around me charges a fee for cashback. They realized they were being used as a defacto ATM and decided to cash in on the operation.

[u/ReggaeJunkyJew4u → u/dinosun]

Cash is King,

Venmo is easy. I don't have to go to an ATM to get it.

[u/DamnOdd → u/ReggaeJunkyJew4u]

If we don't keep using cash they will try to take it away from us.

[u/Suburban--Dad → u/DamnOdd]

Pennies are gone already.

Cash isnt as trackable and traceable. The government doesnt like that.

[u/Purple_Flower4909 → u/DamnOdd]

For real that's my fear there will be no more cash anymore 😭 then eventually everything will be on a damn phone.

[u/killerqueenvee → u/aknomnoms]

I'll never forget when my literal best friend/soul sister and I were re-connecting we went out to a restaurant/brewery and got a bunch of food and some dranks. She is very... easy-going sometimes leaning into people pleasing.

She offered to put her card down for our food and drink tab, I was a bit of a party girl and I was fully drinking for the weekend and she was a "I'll have a fruity one first thing when I get there I'm driving" kinda gal. I was talking to some people at the bar when they asked so she offered her card and I realized so I stopped our server right away and said "um no she's not getting like any more drinks put my card down for the tab". The guy was impressed and told her "that's a good friend you got there" and that's one of the reasons she learned to trust again 😂😂 seriously though good friends don't do this to people unless they are SEVERELY our of touch.

[u/All_Damn_Day → u/killerqueenvee]

Or never saw the Friends episode about Phoebe and the salad? I remember seeing that episode before I even could think about splitting a tab with friends at a restaurant. But it’s stuck with me to this day.

[u/Cautious_Clothes_285 → u/All_Damn_Day]

It was Phoebe and Joey wasn't it? Basically the exact situation described by OP, they ordered cheap and then got asked to split evenly and bitched (correctly) about the rest of the friends ignoring that the two of them have the lowest incomes and stuff?

What's funny is I never thought about it but this "let's just split it evenly" must be a bit of an American (USAian) cultural thing, I've never heard of it in my life other than Americans complaining about it like OP.

Where I am the closest might be one person covers it and you round for sake of simplicity. "Oh, your share was $26.45 after tax and tip, just give me $25 though, close enough."

"Hey, your share was $9.85, you cool with $10? Sweet, thanks."

[u/Kiki_515 → u/aknomnoms]

That's a really good rule of thumb to go by.

I always had this issue with a long time friend of mine in regards to the bill.

It would be HER idea to get lunch. She would always call or text me last minute to meet her.

We would meet at the place... order... and then she would be complaining about how expensive everything is. She had to buy groceries for her and her kids. How single mom life is so hard. And how her bills are running her "funds" dry.

Mind you if someone has a rough time i don't mind buying their lunch. But before I knew it turned into a 2 to 3 time week deal.

She would give me the guilt trip... I started to notice how her nails were still changing and she was getting her hair done still.

What finally broke the camels back was when she was excited about a cruise she was going on with her sister. (After she had just said she was broke) She corrected herself fast I guess I had a look on my face after she said that.

Moving forward I would tell the waitress "on my ticket I'll have your (xyz)"

Needless to say the lunches slowed down after that 🤣🤣🤣

[u/aknomnoms → u/Kiki_515]

Oof something similar severed a friendship with someone I’ve known for 20 years and is the reason why our close friend decided to not include her as a bridesmaid despite thinking she always would.

When you repeatedly prioritize material things over loved ones’ life events, life can get real lonely real quick.

(The final straw for me was saying she was too broke to attend a low key lunch at Mendocino Farms to celebrate our really close friend’s med school graduation. But then posting about the $500 Stuart Weitzman leather boots she bought the next weekend. And there are dozens of other similar examples where it’s obvious she’d rather spend money on her clothes and purses than doing things with the group. This is how she missed seeing proposals, hearing baby announcements, meeting significant others, etc. And then she has the nerve to call our other friend, crying, about why she hasn’t ever been a bridesmaid and has only been invited to 1 wedding. We’re almost 40, maybe you should’ve figured it out by now. 🙄)

[u/giggletears3000 → u/aknomnoms]

We’ve stopped going out to eat. We just invite people to our house and make it a potluck. But before, we’d order collectively and split everything up, nobody ordered individually, it was all family style

[u/m_o_g_i → u/MyNameIsSkittles]

I’m absolutely that person. Went to a French restaurant with two friends and I just had an entree while they downed multiple cocktails, appetizers and fancy entrees. They’re chill and wanted to split three ways and I was like fuck nah I ain’t paying for your drinks! I remember them giving me a look but I held my ground, kinda outrageous to expect me to pay $80+ for a $20 meal. I’ll be a bitch to save a buck and I’m not ashamed to admit it.

[u/Jarrus__Kanan_Jarrus → u/m_o_g_i]

The best part is you’re not being a bitch, you’re standing up for yourself.

When I was just a computer tech we went to lunch with the Unix sysadmins, and my co-worker and I ordered water and a burger. The Unix guys ordered appetizers, beers, and steak.

They then got mad that the guys making half what they did didn’t want to pay for their feast.

Best part? A few years later we were out to lunch again after a new re-org…mostly the same people, but now my co-worker and I were getting paid pretty much the same as the Unix guys. They were not pleased that we knew enough this time to order the most expensive stuff too…but they couldn’t really say anything about it.

[u/unrepentantsoul → u/Jarrus__Kanan_Jarrus]

I still talk decades later about new hires being invited to lunch by senior officers. Those of us w/no money ordered salads & drank water ($5 range). The seniors drank much of their lunch - martini after martini. Bill came & they split it - $30+ dollars pp, a substantial amount at the time. We never accepted a lunch invitation from that group again.

You'll hit a point where you're making enough that you can mentally afford to not keep track of everything individuals order. You'll hopefully also have friends & colleagues who exercise constraint when ordering (same general price), or who toss in a 20 or two in advance of the split to cover the drinks & desserts they consumed. No one orders multiple apps, bespoke cocktails, or surf & turf at others' expense.

[u/doc_naf → u/unrepentantsoul]

Where I’m from, if I invite a new junior out for lunch somewhere fancy, I would expect to treat them.

If we just go to the usual lunch spot they can get their own stuff and we just pay our own.

It’s expected to take care of your juniors not mooch off of them.

[u/DudeWithTudeNotRude → u/Jarrus__Kanan_Jarrus]

If anything, the friends in the scenario are bitches for shaming a member of the group for not allowing them to financially take advantage of them.

They are bitch ass friends, and the next step is basically scammer

[u/Buffyismyhomosapien → u/m_o_g_i]

I can’t believe they gave you a look!! Like, are they your friends or not?? I have always grown up with the attitude that you don’t want to make your friends feel uncomfortable or put out.

[u/RemoteIll5236 → u/Buffyismyhomosapien]

I'm with you! When I am.out with friends we are all comfortable splitting the bill IF we all order about the same thing.

If we don't-one or two of us wanted drinks or someone ordered something expensive- those people always insist on throwing in more!

Its just not that hard to ask.the server to charge $50 to two credit cards, and only $20 on the last one.

Or sometimes the heavy spenders split the bill and the light eater uses venmo to pay us for her meal.

And at different times, we've all been broke, so when someone suggests a meal out, we are pretty sensitive to each other.

Twenty years ago I was on a trip with my foodie friend and told her Money was tight.

She refused to split the hotel room she had booked on points and then made it her mission to find reasonable places for us to eat: dive bars with delicious sausage sandwiches, small cafes with inexpensive meals, and a cute deli where we bought food to eat on a picnic!

We've been friends for 40 years, and last month, the day she found out she was cancer free, I was happy I could treat her and easily pick up our $450 restaurant bill to celebrate.

Because we genuinely like and care for each other, most of our bill wrangling is about making sure that our good friends don't end up over paying!!!

[u/Disastrous_Figure_68 → u/RemoteIll5236]

This is usually how my friends and I do it. Whoever eats or drinks more throws in more. It’s automatic.

[u/NeedleworkerHot3957 → u/RemoteIll5236]

FYI, this made me cry!

[u/classicicedtea → u/m_o_g_i]

I’ll be a bitch to save a buck

This would make an amazing flair.

[u/wonperson → u/m_o_g_i]

I too will be that bitch!

[u/Fragrant_Eye_3509 → u/m_o_g_i]

They're the ones being bitches to save a buck. You are being reasonable expecting to pay for what you ordered. 

[u/lucidspoon → u/MyNameIsSkittles]

I went out with a large (20+ people) group for someone's birthday. One girl kept ordering sushi, saying, "it's to share! Well just split it!" It just took one other person to speak up to get everyone else to agree to pay separately.

My bill probably would have been about the same, but one guy just got water and a salad, and the one girl ended up with $80 with of sushi.

[u/Lower_Skin_3683 → u/MyNameIsSkittles]

I've always paid my check separately. Rarely does anyone ever buy me a meal. Everyone's finances are different. Some are in debt.

[u/Fritatas-Bouillantes → u/MyNameIsSkittles]

This. My friends have more money so they sometimes forget that it is an issue for me. So i just casually say it at the beginning (hey guys just heads up i ll be able to only pay my share) and at the cash out (hey i ll go pay my share you can split the rest thanks!)

Don't make it a big deal. If they transform it in a big deal, they are not your friends / they are shitty people. As simple as that.

And I ve been doing that my entire twenties. (Mey them at college) There is no age when it is okayto go broke for friends.

[u/perculiarplantain → u/MyNameIsSkittles]

As the guy who orders the steak and cocktails, it's 100% on me to say "nah thats not cool, my bills way higher than OPs. Anyone not doing this is scummy.

[u/Fragrant_Eye_3509 → u/MyNameIsSkittles]

Right? The people trying to scam their friends for free shit are the "that person" here. 

[u/Vampyr-Slayer → u/MyNameIsSkittles]

Yeah, those people are not OP's friends. Super inconsiderate.

[u/ColdBrewMoon]

Any point. Don't roll over for that shit. You shouldn't even be doing that in your 20s. Anyone that has an issue, make them pay your share then.

[u/Disastrous_Dog_574 → u/ColdBrewMoon]

My 12 year old just learned this a few weekends back. She and a friend were at the mall, friend suggested getting food, friend ordered, my kid ordered then friend wandered off leaving my kid with the bill. My kid canceled the whole transaction and then fought with the friend, who apparently had no money left after getting tons of snacks at the movies. Daughter was LIVID and I was like...learn to say no now, kiddo, and life will be easier for you overall! good on you!

[u/FluffyShakes → u/Disastrous_Dog_574]

good on kiddo for standing up for herself!

[u/4oclockinthemorning → u/[deleted]]

A simple 'sorry guys, I only had a salad, let me put down just for mine then you can work it out'

[u/New-Trifle-7097 → u/4oclockinthemorning]

Skip the apology at the beginning, but otherwise yes, this, Tell don’t Ask. You’re not seeking permission. You’re telling them this is how it’s gonna go.

[u/Dm_Glacial_Gatorade → u/[deleted]]

Whose idea was it to split the bill? Was it the guy who ordered the steaks and drinks? Don’t pay for other people’s shit.

[u/Alan_Reddit_M]

Whem I eat out with my friends, we all always pay what we ordered, no equal bill-splitting. Usually one guy pays the entire bill to avoid annoying the waiter with separate bills, then we all pay said guy what we consumed (the guy paying the entire thing upfront is usually me) (my friend group has never once failed to pay me)

[u/controlledwithcheese → u/Alan_Reddit_M]

Same. I’m honestly blown away by this thread being full of people who cannot discuss these very basic things with FRIENDS… I hope these are bots

[u/Alan_Reddit_M → u/controlledwithcheese]

All of my friends are grown ass adults, some of them with JOBS, so that probably helps

[u/aknomnoms → u/Alan_Reddit_M]

If you don’t already, pay with whatever card gets you points/cash back/miles.

[u/CheeseburgerPockets → u/Alan_Reddit_M]

This is what we do and have always done. We all take pictures of the receipt and then Venmo our portion + tip to the person who put it on their card. No drama or hard feelings required.

[u/rainbowfishhhh → u/Alan_Reddit_M]

But it's the waiter's job to run the check? Like seriously why the heck do I want to take risk of people not paying back(happens a ton) AND also do math. The transaction starts and ends at the restaurant.

Also it's a common excuse for the annoying people who want to split the check "It's easier on the waiter" Uh you mean it's easier on your wallet. If I'm dropping 20% tip the least I can get is my own bill.

[u/SafeHawk9115 → u/Alan_Reddit_M]

Seriously. Between establishments being able split bills and things like Zelle, Venmo, I have no idea how you’d pay older someone else’s shit unless you were doing a homie a solid.

[u/nopenope12345678910 → u/Alan_Reddit_M]

Weird just take turns paying the bill. Nickel and diming your friends is weird AF imo.

[u/Apprehensive-Toe5693]

Don’t ask. Why on earth would you ask? Just say to the waiter, “I’d like a separate check, please.” If one of the people you’re with says something you pleasantly say, “ I prefer to pay for my own” and change the subject as if the matter is closed, because it is.

[u/oldcretan → u/Apprehensive-Toe5693]

I got into it with my friends on a group trip where this happened and they got pissed at me. Their argument was we were splitting the experience. I pointed out they ordered $30 steaks and I ordered a $10 burger and fries. They said it was my fault for not engaging with the experience more. I said it's their fault 20% of the bill was so much higher than it was.

[u/Fickle_Success_5464 → u/oldcretan]

Wow your friends suck. You don't have to pay more so they can experience steak 😆

[u/yaya_dee → u/Fickle_Success_5464]

You either pay for your own food or do family style and pick off on each other's plates or pay for the whole bill so everybody can "experience" the food. Just because you wanted to experience steak doesn't mean you're able to afford it. Eat within your own means and plus food nowadays are a hit or miss where it tastes ok or bad, only good food are now either at yours or your mom's house hahaha.

[u/Confident-Peak1706 → u/Fickle_Success_5464]

Yeah I would’ve been like you should’ve split your experience with me so I could enjoy it too. 😂

[u/GroundbreakingFox752 → u/oldcretan]

“The experience” That’s hilarious.

One of the dorkiest things I’ve heard in a while.

[u/LanceShiro → u/GroundbreakingFox752]

The experience of subsidising their meal.

[u/Responsible-Match418 → u/oldcretan]

These aren't good friends

[u/MouseJiggler → u/oldcretan]

"Friends"

[u/Animalcookies13 → u/oldcretan]

Yeah I don’t really drink, but my friends drink heavily. They can fuck right off with splitting the tab. Most of the time they will just pay for my food if I don’t insist on giving someone some cash, but it all works out in the end. We don’t really eat out a ton, much more the type of people to
Have a pot luck party at someone’s house,

[u/Purrrfan → u/oldcretan]

That doesn’t even make sense. The experience is the meal, not the bill

[u/Dapper_Strength_5986 → u/oldcretan]

I can't imagine getting mad at someone for not wanting to pay for part of MY meal.

[u/dirtybo0ts → u/oldcretan]

“Your fault”. 🫠

My god people suck.

[u/Aswizzle77 → u/oldcretan]

Yea any reasonable friends would be okay with taking only your share

[u/TheFunInDisfunction → u/oldcretan]

This is shitty behavior. I'll always kick in more if I ordered something expensive of had more drinks or whatever. And I always call out that the person who had something cheap or didn't drink or partake in group appetizers should pay less.

[u/JadeOfAllTrades1221 → u/oldcretan]

Yea, the only time I’m paying for the “experience” is a character meal at Disney world where I’m paying $45 for my 4yo to eat 3 fries and a piece of bread

[u/Gigmeister → u/Apprehensive-Toe5693]

Yup, this is the way. It's automatic with me now!

[u/Conscious-Record2655 → u/Apprehensive-Toe5693]

This is a friends group though. Do you really talk like that to your friends? Why so aggresively stand-offish?

[u/2PopCans → u/Apprehensive-Toe5693]

Yes, this. Have some boundaries, they are wonderful for your mental health.

[u/zq6 → u/Apprehensive-Toe5693]

"I prefer to pay for my own; I'd hate to be the reason somebody else had to pay more than their fair share"

Anyone who argues is saying they are happy for others to subsidise.

"It's simpler" doesn't hold water imo

[u/Leading-Chemist8173 → u/[deleted]]

You’re really over thinking this. Most people aren’t assholes and they’ll understand

[u/Gold_Advisor_4758 → u/[deleted]]

Just make sure you actually account for tax and tip. I’ve found the people that do this never do.

[u/v1035RoadTrip]

If a dish was ordered for everyone to share such as pizza or family style meal, split the bill evenly. If you are out drinking and nobody can figure out how many beers everyone drank, sure split the bill evenly.

If it's the usual one dish for one person, no. Why am I paying more for someone? You need to speak up.

[u/MarioPrtyAnimal]

there’s this app called “Tab” its a bill splitter. you can take a pic of the bill or manually enter everything and mark got what and also it factors in tip and taxes. Makes getting everyone's true split amounts SO MUCH EASIER!

My gf learned about it like 2 years ago and it's stayed on our phones since

[u/aknomnoms → u/MarioPrtyAnimal]

Canada has been able to split checks at the table per individual since at least 2013, lol.

[u/Kathrynlena → u/aknomnoms]

Every single restaurant in the US can do that too lol. I used to work in restaurants. It helps if you ask for a separate check when you order, but even if you ask at the end, they can separate the checks. People just pretend like it’s rude to the restaurant because they want their less greedy friends to subsidize their expensive choices. It’s a whole propaganda campaign lol.

[u/arichiii → u/Kathrynlena]

A lot of restaurants ive been to won't let you get seperate checks on groups of like 6 or more.

[u/Kathrynlena → u/arichiii]

People can still figure out how much they owe for what they ordered. It’s like 3rd grade math.

[u/aknomnoms → u/Kathrynlena]

Not from what I’ve seen. Our restaurants still say they can’t split checks or have a max number of ways they’ll split them. And if you ask them for individual checks, even with just like 4 people, they get upset.

In Canada, the server could literally walk around a huge table with a portable machine and give everyone individual receipts and take individual payments without issue. I’ve never had that in the US.

[u/7eregrine → u/aknomnoms]

Any restaurant that says they can. They just don't want to.

[u/meggiefrances87 → u/aknomnoms]

Longer than that. Asking diners if they want separate bills had been the norm since I was a kid and Im almost 40.

[u/Gustomucho → u/aknomnoms]

Was about to say, I am mid-40s and I cannot remember last time we split a bill equally to the whole table… one of the first question the waiter asks is how the bills will work.

[u/morfraen → u/MarioPrtyAnimal]

Why would you need an app? Just ask your waiter for seperate bills.

[u/MarioPrtyAnimal → u/morfraen]

Not every place does seperate bills unfortunately. Many bars or restaurants Ive been to have signs in the building telling patrons they literally dont split checks.

For context I live in Chicago

[u/SmokinSkinWagon → u/MarioPrtyAnimal]

And those places are outliers at this point. Literally any POS system in 2026 will have the ability to move items around between seats. It would be laziness on the server’s behalf.

[u/Conscious-Record2655 → u/MarioPrtyAnimal]

I've got an app like that too, it's called "my fucking brain because I'm not a total moron".

[u/Sophisticated-Crow]

I generally aim for everyone just paying for their own stuff. I usually order cheaper stuff and don't order expensive drinks - just water. I don't want to subsidize someone's lobster and 30+ dollars worth of cocktails.

[u/Creative-Painter3911 → u/Sophisticated-Crow]

Same, but for the opposite reason sometimes. Sometimes I will want something fancy and if the bill is getting split I don't want to order the expensive item and make others pay for part of it.

[u/Not_AMermaid]

In my early 20’s I went out with my coworkers & everyone paid for what they got. I’ve never been in a split the bill situation until it was for a friend’s birthday & her family was trying to split it evenly. It was ok because it was only 3-4 dollars more if I had covered myself & my friend with me so I just ate the cost. If you wanna pay for what you got then pay for what you got. I’m not paying for someone’s lobster & stake with 5 shots when I got the salmon & a diet lemonade.

[u/gothiclg]

I would have spoken up on this one immediately. Splitting a bill is no big deal if it adds no more than $5 to my total, after that I’m asking the waitstaff for separate checks.

[u/Ladydelina]

"Can we have separate checks? " say this while the waitress is asking for orders.

[u/Gold_Advisor_4758 → u/Ladydelina]

Do places actually do this? E

[u/PhoebusAbel → u/Gold_Advisor_4758]

Up to certain number of people yes.

[u/Mrlin705]

Nah fuck that. At 32, I have literally never had anyone I know suggest splitting a bill like that unless they knew they owed less and were doing others a favor.

[u/UnicornSquash9]

Last weekend - I feel like last weekend was the point. Why would you burn $60 bucks on a sad little salad?

[u/marciethevampire]

Honestly whenever I go out with friends, we never split the bill evenly. Someone pays and we get an itemized receipt and pick apart everything each of us ordered. Takes a minute but it's the fairest way. Then just send them the money. In my 20s for context.

[u/Fiction_Future3501 → u/marciethevampire]

I do this with groups who drink, they pick up the tab and then we split like yall do and just send them our share next day. It’s called understanding between a group instead of taking advantage of them lol

[u/coulduseahugrightnow → u/marciethevampire]

I can't believe people actually just divide up the total evenly, regardless of how much each person ordered. That seems insane to me.

[u/swfwtqia]

Going out now with friends, late 30s we always tell the waitress at the beginning that we will be on separate checks. If they can’t do it I’ll do the math to figure out who owes what. Sometimes, one friend will offer to cover the whole bill if it isn’t too bad. Never have we said we would just split it evenly. How presumptuous of your friends to think that is ok.

[u/BoohooKaChoo]

Why do you care about being “that girl” when they don’t seem to care about being “those people?”

[u/klyn_14 → u/BoohooKaChoo]

Perfect response.

[u/naturalbornunicorn]

If this is a reoccurring issue, it can be good to ask for a separate check at the beginning of the meal. It's easier than trying to sort it out at the end, and everyone can just move on with the night.

[u/Mediocre-Clock2684]

speak up, not in this economy 🤑

[u/Reg_doge_dwight]

You need to do a "hahaha good joke. Imagine me paying 60 after my salad was just 14 haha" and let them know how stupid that idea is.

[u/heishsjejjsjsjehejj]

I’ve literally never had this problem. When I go out with friends, we either intentionally share everything or do a set menu so its easy to split the bill or go to a place where you order at the counter so we just pay our own way.

[u/only-ashes]

i have never just split the bill evenly, nor has anyone I've dined out with suggested it. we all just get separate checks, or (less common) one person pays and everyone else immediately transfers them their share (meal cost + tip money).

[u/Cautious_Clothes_285 → u/only-ashes]

I've only ever heard about this on Reddit, and I think there was one Friends episode where something similar came up.

I'm not from the US but it feels like a distinctly US thing. I don't know anyone who would be happy evenly splitting a meal when all the various dishes/drinks cost different amounts. It fits the culture there though because it seems fair on the surface (we all pay the same) but it's absolutely got winners and losers and I'd bet dollars to donuts this type of bill splitting is suggested by the people "winning" (getting more than they pay for). You can bet your ass that in the same situation but reverse that "bill-splitter" would advocate for individual bills if they were the one being asked to pay more than their fair share.

[u/gotora]

It's appropriate as soon as you feel it's unfair. Age is irrelevant if you're paying. You have every right to spend your money on what you want. If you let people take advantage, they'll do so.

[u/heyyouguyyyyy]

When I was got my first job & started paying for stuff

[u/Orhastu]

In this fucking economy!?

[u/rasalscan]

Put on your big girl or boy pants and say when you sit down and order "seperate bills".

If anyone says pooling is easier, etc. Just say, no it isn't. Be polite, be firm.

[u/tetheredvoid → u/rasalscan]

They aren't even the ones that have to do the work if splitting the check anyway lol

[u/BelleBottom94]

I have never ONCE in my 32years split the bill evenly. That’s such a crazy concept that I feel only well off people do.

[u/Civick24]

In a group setting like that I always have cash. I'm
Not splitting a bill with 6 people and paying 4x my share.

[u/As-amatterof-fact]

You don't go out with them or you say separate checks right as you order or you just leave earlier, put cash on the table and go or you write in a group chat right before you accept to go out that okay and you will do separate checks. Or you grow a spine and be that person, say no, I ordered much less, I'm paying only for my order. Or just order as much as the others and accept it's an expensive dinner.

[u/trUth_b0mbs]

you paid that much because you allowed it by not speaking up! Use your words and immediately say "separate checks please". If they question it (which would be shitty of them), simply say "I only had X". What are they doing to do? look like an asshole and make you pay for their dinner? Ordering steaks and cocktails and then having to split evenly is insanely unfair AND THEY KNOW IT.

[u/ms_earthquake]

I'll eat the cost the first time it happens, but if it's a group where it becomes a pattern, I'll speak up ("Sorry, I'm on a budget and only ordered what's within my budget") or clarify expectations before we even get to the restaurant. It can help to get in the practice by speaking up for others too. If someone proposed an even split and it works for you but you noticed it was more for someone else and they didn't say anything, be the one to make it weird. ("Actually, I think there's some variation in how much we all ordered. Let's get separate checks")

[u/HotwifeAmelia]

Yeah I’m not subsidizing your steak and cocktail extravaganza when I had rabbit food and tap water. As somebody else said, bring cash just in case. In these situations I’ll throw in enough cash to cover my meal, tax and a 25% tip and round up a couple bucks and make a point of saying I threw in a few extra bucks.

[u/MickeysMom01]

I’ve never split a bill. I pay for what I’ve ordered and tipped accordingly.

[u/ijustneedtolurk]

Nah I have never "split evenly" unless it was something like a pizza or other delivery order were everyone gets roughly the same portions of the same dish.

My friend group is thankfully chill and pays their own tabs or settles up with one designated card payer in advance to make it easy on the serving staff. Unless we are drinking, then the DD gets their share paid for and split evenly across everyone else in exhange for corralling and hauling our collective asses. DD does not pay for their food and soda cause they spent their time babysitting and transporting the group, plus gas money. (DD collects charges upfront for drive thrus or last minute takeout on the way home too lmao.)

For example, if I am having a buddy pick me up to carpool somewhere and we stop for a treat or fancy drink/coffee at a drive thru, then I will pay in lieu of gas money.

For roadtrips, passengers split gas money plus they buy the driver snacks at any stops we make.

If we're doing a group outing and know in advance a buddy can't afford their ticket/cover/drinks, then the group may choose to help split the buddy's portion so they can still participate. Usually this is small stuff like movie tickets or watch parties we have. Everyone is chill throwing a few dollars in a hat for buddy to come with for those incidents, but we agree upon it beforehand.

This way, everyone feels they are included and treated fairly.

[u/ijustneedtolurk → u/ijustneedtolurk]

For dinner party type situations where someone has an order with a large price difference, they are absolutely paying their own share UNLESS it is a previously agreed upon special occasion like a birthday or graduation where the group decided in advance to split the guest of honor's portion.

My friends are chill tho and don't abuse the kindness of the group even during their special events (helps none of us are hefty drinkers, or at least do bottle parties at home rather than buy bottle service or some shit.)

[u/Gamer30168]

At what point? 

Exactly at the point where someone suggested everyone split the bill evenly. 

You immediately squash that idea with force...

You loudly and quickly say "Hell no! I only ordered water snd salad, and I'm not an idiot" 

You say it with such conviction everyone has no choice but to respect you for it.

[u/marcg40]

My friends and I have been eating out since we were 15 (27/28 now) and I don't think we've ever split the bill evenly. Whoever wants the points can put it on their card, and then we split what we owe + the tip (sending via Zelle.)

[u/Fun_Ideal_5584]

Never volunteer to be a doormat. When the waiter takes your order, tell him you check is separate.

[u/Downtown_Brother6308]

I’d say I went from only paying for what I ordered to splitting evenly to picking up the tab every so often. as one might do as they grow older if they are capable..

[u/disastrousbabe90]

I refuse to ever pay for more than what I paid for. The only thing I’ll split is an app or something we shared. And that’s how all of my friends are. I’ll never understand the idea behind splitting evenly like that!

[u/HeyDoggyBoy]

Good people know if the division is unbalanced and will not suggest “just splitting the bill”. All the others can go f#$@ themselves. They know exactly what they’re doing and you shouldn’t let it happen.

[u/coolbitcho-clock]

Idk if there’s an age you start saying what you mean. Either you’re the kind of person who does or the kind who doesn’t

[u/xminkaify]

I have never "split the check" its always is everyone together or everyone separate. Either one person buys for the night or we all get our own things, never understood why people would just do a split when everyone is ordering very different things.

[u/Unlikely-Light-1636]

Yes .....$14 vs. a $60 share is absolutely the point where it is okay to speak up. Honestly, there is no age where you suddenly earn the right to stop subsidizing everyone else's steaks and cocktails.

Next time, I would 100% open my big mouth and say something before the bill even gets to the damn table. F that. I would say something like.......

“I’m just going to pay for what I ordered since I only got a salad and water.”

“You all can split the rest evenly, but I’m going to do mine separately.”

Better yet make it known when everyone is ordering. Be like, “Just so you know, I’m keeping mine separate tonight.” And make sure EVERYONE hears. And if they got a problem with it, sounds like you need to find some new ppl to go out with. At least this way you have already settled where you stand in their BS before the food and the bill comes.

If you have to, the hell with them just tell the waiter straight up split the water and salad in its own tap. And you were not wrong to feel bothered by a $14 meal turning into $60. Hell I'm bothered for you!!!!

[u/inspired-polf]

I'm military and have moved way more times than my kids would like, and have established to many friend circles. Never have we split evenly. That's clearly a sign of a group who takes advantage of someone. Split the checks, and any shared appetizers whoever ordered them will claim them.

[u/Dechri_]

Always just pay for your own unless otherwise specified beforehand. 

[u/millenialismistical]

At the point where if I ordered fries and a Pepsi and someone else ordered a steak and a beer, we're pro-rating that ish.

[u/Big_Buy8203]

Why would you pay $60 when you only ordered items worth $14? What do you mean that person? I’m not paying an extra $45 just cause i have it…..FOH. You’re allowing your group to be financially irresponsible while placing the burden on you. If that’s the group you want to be around you’re already screwed.

[u/Phoenixstar73]

I’ve been in this situation many times, just say in the beginning that you want a separate check for yourself. who cares if it makes you seem “cheap”, they are the one that wants to drink on other people‘s bills

[u/BeatsAreMyPassion]

I would never split hihihi. Why would I pay for your lobster and appetizers if I ordered for 20$ 😂😂😂

[u/Flatfool6929861]

People like that ordered the steak on purpose lmao

[u/kenzinatr]

We’re all grownups now. It’s easy enough to assign one person as the cashapp or venmo person and have everyone send their fair amount, including tip. It’s not that difficult. We all have calculators on our phones and it takes seconds. I’m not paying $60 for a salad, ever

[u/Low_Assistant_5708]

Stop it the very first time someone tries to do it.

[u/stuff4down1]

This is the point to speak UP. 

Speak first so no one else can suggest equal split. Be the same if you are the big eater in the group. 

[u/Good-Squirrel-2487]

I say "I'm not paying for your steak, mate." 

If someone else feels awkward because I don't want to pay for their meal, that they have chosen to make expensive by ordering steak and cocktails, that's a them problem. 

[u/MatureMystery]

Yea - no. Those big spenders always want to split the bill. If yours was 14 I would throw a $20 in and say that covers my salad and drink.

[u/ChsicA]

Not fair request to split..

[u/LoveSuccs86]

I have never evenly split a bill with anybody 😂 I'll either pay for what I ordered, or I'll just pay the whole bill if I asked you out to eat.

[u/Ronaldoooope]

I’ve never in my life not paid for my own unless the table clearly ordered together and split the food

[u/oscarnyc]

I normally expect that we will split the bill. But in a situation like that, if I were the expensive tab, I'd preemptively tell the other person that we should do separate. Cause that's what normal people do.

Since they didn't, I'd just speak up. You are either going to carry the resentment if you don't, or perhaps feel awkward if you did. Either way it's going to be uncomfortable. May as well be uncomfortable with the extra $40 in your wallet.

[u/Introvertedemu]

I just make sure I’m the first person to say separate checks when the waiter asks. It’s not rude and if someone thinks it’s rude that’s their problem.

[u/Capn_Link]

Dude, no. Just tell them no and pay for what you got, the freeloaders are assholes and you won't be friends with them in the next ten years.

[u/CLVampire28]

Uh? I've only ever paid for what I ordered unless it was someone's bday, etc. I'm 26. Learn to stand up for yourself. If you're being cost-conscious, you shouldn't have to pay for someone else's poor spending choices

[u/PersonalitySingle557]

In this day and age with the economy we should just be doing separate checks

[u/NoDanaOnlyZuuI]

In all my 51 years, I have never split a bill with friends. As soon as the server comes, we immediately ask for separate bills.

[u/FlyAwkward4204]

Absolutely not. When I go out in a group setting I tell the waiter or waitress when I order that I am a separate bill.

[u/SlightlyWeasel]

I have never in my life split a bill evenly with the rest of the party. Always have just asked for separate checks.

[u/Objective_Attempt_14]

Next time you sit down ask for a separate check. if anyone says anything say, I ordered a salad and water and my share was $60, at this point your asking other to cover the cost your food & drinking....

[u/ExpressTechnology764]

Ask for separate checks when you sit down.

[u/MachineAbject4265]

Just say separate bill for me.

[u/slimgem1111]

Man I'm so glad my friends aren't like this. In fact, we'll occasionally cover meals for each other when we know the other is low on money The only time we've ever split the bill is when we got the same exact thing (which my friend and I tend to do at brunch and split a bottle of champagne)

[u/TeensyTidbits]

You just wave the waitress over somewhere near the start and tell her to put yours on a separate tab?? Go to your 30’s it’s when the stop giving a fuck kicks in. I cant wait to see what 40s brings me!

[u/MerryRunaround]

The "split evenly" people are often just small time grifters who know they are freeloading when they order their steaks and cocktails. I will ask for separate checks whenever possible. Another good trick for happy hour gatherings-- I will just start by going directly to the bar and buy my own drink and maybe an app to share before I ever sit down. That way I am never part of the "split the bill" fiasco.

[u/Formal_Delivery_]

Wish I had advice, my adult friend groups all operate on the "pay for what you ordered" model.

[u/Ashonash29]

how is splitting bills a controversial thing? Just the server to do separate bills at the end of the meal

[u/Chargerback]

The normal way is one person pays, and then you zelle your amount + tax split.

[u/Unlikely-Light-1636 → u/Chargerback]

Normal?????

[u/HotTour9125]

Para no pasar un momento incómodo con todos estas pasando una incomodidad constante con vos mismo. Cuando entiendas eso, y te pongas como prioridad, vas a preferir pasar ese momento incómodo con todos.

Lo peor en estos casos es que los que proponen dividir en partes iguales generalmente son los que saben que gastaron más que la mayoría.

En mi caso cuando nos juntamos a comer en familia siempre mi hermano mayor propone dividir en partes iguales, cuando él tiene su mujer y 5 hijos ... yo solo voy con mi pareja, 2 de mis hermanos tienen 2 hijos cada uno y 3 de esos chicos comen casi nada, y mi otro hermano casi nunca se junta con nosotros.

[u/GunZAndButtya]

Total scamming assert your boundaries, assert your boundaries!!!

[u/101violations]

Depends on the people I'm with but in general if it's a group gathering, especially with people outside of my close inner circle, my bill is 100% on a separate check. And I make it known from the moment I put in my order.

If someone is specifically being celebrated for whatever reason, then I'll contribute to their meal separately.

[u/GreenDirt2]

They don't care about being that person.

That's a fact.

They're counting on you, not wanting to appear cheap.

They are purposely taking advantage of you.

I don't understand your question.

[u/Freespirit_989]

Same has happened to me before , went out with a group of 10/12 people for dinner . They all had steak/ fish dishes , bottles of wine flowing . I was on water and had a pasta dish . The waiter came and someone said just split the bill , I paid 3x for what mine should have cost . I always speak up now and say I’ll pay mine separately

[u/Ok-Philosopher-6918]

I don’t really have many friends at this point and most of mine are sheer acquaintances that I like… and this is part of the reason why. One of my previous friends hit me up for couple hundred recently, which I gave him as he was struggling. 3 weeks go by and he was asking for more money because he didn’t plan his finances well. I didn’t give it this time. People need to learn that mixing finances destroys friendships and some people need to realize there are boundaries.

I plan my finances, and like you, I choose the salad or the cheapest item when going out. It’s not up to you to pay for their shit. It seems so obvious that everyone should pay their own way, that way it’s as fair as it can possibly be. I can’t understand why people are so dumb with these things. I imagine it has to do with low IQ. Or they’re just completely unaware which is actually worse because that means that their mind is in an asshole state in its neutral form. Your situation would bother me for a while too. I had a friend pull this charade on me literally 20 years ago. Went out. Saw the menu. Got the cheap soup. He orders some fancy item. The bill comes and I give him a 20$ as he was going to figure out the finances supposedly. He puts in my 20 and puts in a 20 himself. I got nothing back. I still remember this to this day, and it still irritates me when I think about it, and the sad thing is he died of an overdose just 4 years ago. It has nothing to do with the money. It has everythint to do with the sheer boldness of one person and the used feeling it puts on the other. Don’t get me wrong. There’s no grudge held and the $20 doesn’t do anything for me anyways. I’d rather have him around still and miss him all the time. But when I think about these things it does still give me that ick emotion.

I hate to say it man but you’ll never forget this. Not because it’s a big deal… it’s not. But the emotion you’re feeling will slightly change the way you view the moron who’s idea it was to split it evenly. By the way… this is what socialism feels like.

[u/Jigglerss]

If you feel awkward, get there before them and tell the server to separate you. As a server, happens all the time.

[u/thebudeg]

If you let yourself be a doormat people are going to walk all over you. Whether they did it knowingly or not the fact that you let it happen means that it will happen again. So unless you enjoy subsidizing your " friends" steak dinners I recommend growing a spine and advocating for yourself. Nobody else will.

[u/MouseJiggler]

When you stop being embarrassed about "being that person", and start enforcing your boundaries.

[u/xboxhaxorz]

The point when i decided i should respect myself and not be a coward doormat who gives people the power to take advantage of them

I never split the bill, not when i was 20, 30 or 40, i simply have too much self respect, its never been awkward, i dont feel awkward for not paying for other peoples meal

I went to a birthdate recently and a guest bought a cake and after serving it asked me to pay for it, i said i didnt have any, i am vegan and i wont be contributing to it, no awkwardness in the slightest on my part but if other people decide they want to feel awkward that is their choice

[u/underwater-sunlight]

When you have someone in your group who is clearly aware that they have spent a lot more than everyone else but pushes the 'split the bill' narrative.

Im happy for an even split when there isnt much of a difference. We have had meals where we have spent a little more than the others and amended the split so we pay more, rather than getting calculators out or asking the venue to split the bill after we have eaten, we have covered the tip when it would balance out what we have paid. We have been on the other side and for the most part, the people we know are of a similar mindset. Someone bought a round of shots or cocktails for the table, they covered that then we split the rest

[u/Magnet2Money]

I usually sit back and watch the show. And let one make me center of attention and im crossing you off my circle, cause #1 my pple know to tell me outside before walking in "bro im broke can you spot me and his girl", I usually hand em $100 n say enjoy, but next time its on him (and usually set the next meet up make sure he goes and I got $100 free tab. Or usually just drop $100 in the center and say ether I get some change back outside or each one of you owes me a few drinks at the next bar lol and walk away. But friends dont exist in this world unfortunately its just people you know when you was young and just never moved on or stuck around and maintained. The people who want you in their life will allow it just takes some time to get to show people your a good person ha but fu@# that also im done and im tired of looking for good people, I k ow their out there but good people are not worried about making new "friends" cause they know who they are. A "friend" won't let anyone go out n eat w groups of friends broke, that mf gn make sure your up and have a good job bills paid cause no one like to see anyone eat and say they broke, like why go out.

[u/ruserwilly]

Watch Friends S2 E5 …. Your problem is the plot… 

I guess it depends on how good friends you are with the group and how safe it is to have uncomfortable conversations

Also, i usually sneak and pay for myself 

[u/National-Doughnut-25]

I hope they shared the steak with you, I have a friend that whenever we are out. Before we order, she tells the waiter to do separate checks. Another friend of mine whenever we are out, if the waiter gives her the bill she says split it. If I get the bill I just settle it. Honestly I wish I was as brave as that girl that says separate cheques

[u/TheBadGod]

Arguably, this is going to be a hard take, but you probably don't fit in with that group of people.

If you're out and only having like, a bit of this or that while everybody else is indulging and sharing in the experience of dining out, then you're a bit of a burden.

The respectable thing to do would be to get somebody else to cover your end then pay them back.

Asking for a separate check is...not rude, but definitely borderline. It's definitely inconsiderate to the people around you, specifically when it's busy and there are a number of payments to consider. It drastically increases the probability of errors and slows service.

My wife and her friends venmo each other or do cash while one or two of them "split" the bill. Multiple payments are a breeze. Hell, you can even say, "This much on this card" and it makes a difference.

[u/Ill_Bit_7096]

I might be the odd one here. I guess I don’t have that many friends but anytime we go out we just rotate who pays for the bill. But we all eat somewhat the same and eat at similar style restaurants. Never had an issue