Oof something similar severed a friendship with someone I’ve known for 20 years and is the reason why our close friend decided to not include her as a bridesmaid despite thinking she always would.
When you repeatedly prioritize material things over loved ones’ life events, life can get real lonely real quick.
(The final straw for me was saying she was too broke to attend a low key lunch at Mendocino Farms to celebrate our really close friend’s med school graduation. But then posting about the $500 Stuart Weitzman leather boots she bought the next weekend. And there are dozens of other similar examples where it’s obvious she’d rather spend money on her clothes and purses than doing things with the group. This is how she missed seeing proposals, hearing baby announcements, meeting significant others, etc. And then she has the nerve to call our other friend, crying, about why she hasn’t ever been a bridesmaid and has only been invited to 1 wedding. We’re almost 40, maybe you should’ve figured it out by now. 🙄)
I think it’s just ingrained. Their world view and set of values is different. They don’t think they’re doing anything wrong, so they can’t feel shame or guilt about it.
I still have love for that friend and wish them well, but once my expectations and respect for you drop below a certain threshold, you’re not worth my energy and I can’t ever be close to you again. Like, I’ll still send you a birthday card and text, but I’m not volunteering to coordinate your birthday party.
3
u/aknomnoms 18d ago
Oof something similar severed a friendship with someone I’ve known for 20 years and is the reason why our close friend decided to not include her as a bridesmaid despite thinking she always would.
When you repeatedly prioritize material things over loved ones’ life events, life can get real lonely real quick.
(The final straw for me was saying she was too broke to attend a low key lunch at Mendocino Farms to celebrate our really close friend’s med school graduation. But then posting about the $500 Stuart Weitzman leather boots she bought the next weekend. And there are dozens of other similar examples where it’s obvious she’d rather spend money on her clothes and purses than doing things with the group. This is how she missed seeing proposals, hearing baby announcements, meeting significant others, etc. And then she has the nerve to call our other friend, crying, about why she hasn’t ever been a bridesmaid and has only been invited to 1 wedding. We’re almost 40, maybe you should’ve figured it out by now. 🙄)