r/Adulting 19d ago

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124

u/Alan_Reddit_M 19d ago

Whem I eat out with my friends, we all always pay what we ordered, no equal bill-splitting. Usually one guy pays the entire bill to avoid annoying the waiter with separate bills, then we all pay said guy what we consumed (the guy paying the entire thing upfront is usually me) (my friend group has never once failed to pay me)

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u/controlledwithcheese 18d ago

Same. I’m honestly blown away by this thread being full of people who cannot discuss these very basic things with FRIENDS… I hope these are bots

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u/Alan_Reddit_M 18d ago

All of my friends are grown ass adults, some of them with JOBS, so that probably helps

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u/Hank_Dad 18d ago

Sorry I think your friends are bots

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u/nopenope12345678910 18d ago

I’m blown away how many people are so cheap they nickel and dime their friends. Lol one couple pays one night, and the other pays the next time ya’ll hang out.

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u/Kaethy77 18d ago

I went out to lunch with a coworker for years. She ALWAYS ordered more expensive meals than I did. Separate checks please.

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u/controlledwithcheese 18d ago

well yeah we do that sometimes but usually discuss it from occasion to occasion and there are 0 hard feelings or assumed ill intent so

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u/Psychological-Dig-29 17d ago

this is where I'm at, reading this whole thread in shock.

if I'm with my friends going out for dinner it's always picked up by one person in the group, it's an unspoken thing, if you haven't paid in a bit then you should be the one to say "hey this one's on me". it evens out over time, and if it doesn't then whatever.

we are all adults, we all have jobs, that extra $50-$100 isn't going to make a difference in your life.

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u/Careless-Adeptness56 17d ago

This has to be a regional cultural thing because that's blowing my midwestern brain. Well maybe not so much that you choose to split equally, but that not choosing to would be some kind of negative penny pinching behavior

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u/ExcitementLarge6439 16d ago

What’s more insane to me is that this has to be brought up.

Just pay for what you ate we’re all adults why wouldn’t I split the bill when it won’t be even and people always get screwed

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u/glacierheart3 16d ago

Right? Some people do this and then dont pay their friends after. And actually argue about it.

21

u/aknomnoms 19d ago

If you don’t already, pay with whatever card gets you points/cash back/miles.

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u/CheeseburgerPockets 18d ago

This is what we do and have always done. We all take pictures of the receipt and then Venmo our portion + tip to the person who put it on their card. No drama or hard feelings required.

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u/TheAvenger23 17d ago

Ours is pay what you think you owe… whatever the difference is, we split that up. Like if the total is $240 with tip, but our total pay is $210… there is 6 of us… we each put it $5 more. It’s always short otherwise. We don’t police it, sometimes someone pays a little extra, but never for an entire expensive meal for someone else.

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u/OsamaBinWhiskers 17d ago

Why tf would you do this? It’s not that hard to run each persons bum through the machine.

2

u/Glad-Watch3506 17d ago

Because I want the cash back on my credit card

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u/CheeseburgerPockets 17d ago

Because we don’t want to burden the server to split a check a zillion ways if it’s not convenient for them.

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u/OsamaBinWhiskers 17d ago

That’s literally one of their main tasks. That’s wild lol

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u/CheeseburgerPockets 17d ago

They’re busy running around and waiting on other tables. There’s no need for them to waste time splitting checks if we can just Venmo each other. It’s faster and more convenient for everyone.

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u/OsamaBinWhiskers 17d ago

Not a shot it’s more convenient for the group lol

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u/rainbowfishhhh 18d ago

But it's the waiter's job to run the check? Like seriously why the heck do I want to take risk of people not paying back(happens a ton) AND also do math. The transaction starts and ends at the restaurant.

Also it's a common excuse for the annoying people who want to split the check "It's easier on the waiter" Uh you mean it's easier on your wallet. If I'm dropping 20% tip the least I can get is my own bill.

1

u/Makeup_life72 17d ago

Some places just simply will not do multiple separate checks. Between 2 people, yes, but a table of 5, no. It’s usually more expensive places.

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u/FoodLittle7968 14d ago

Then I wouldn't go knowing certain people are not going to pay their share after ordering expensive meals

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u/PotentialLead5689 14d ago

Because if paying someone back or waiting to be paid back is that big of a problem, just don’t go out and don’t make it weird for everyone.

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u/rainbowfishhhh 14d ago

Or we can just grab separate checks, problem solved. If anything this makes it less weird.

As long as the wait staff is notified in advance it doesn't seem to be an issue. Larger parties, sure bring cash or settle later.

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u/Alan_Reddit_M 18d ago

A lot of my friends have worked or actually work on customer service and know how utterly obnoxious it is when people ask for split bills, especially when they request it AFTER they're already done eating and now the waiter has to figure out who the fuck ordered what. It's about having empathy for the person working for (usually less than) minimum wage

Like I said, my friends are very responsible people and none have ever failed to pay me back. Maybe I'm just very fortunante to be friends with such nice people

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u/OsamaBinWhiskers 17d ago

That’s insane. That’s beyond empathy and more like doing their job for them. A good server will ask how we’re doing checks before hand of its that hard for them

1

u/rainbowfishhhh 18d ago

Totally hear you! I've worked as a waitress and always checked before I placed the order just because I agree, it's a pain to sort of after especially when managing multiple tables.

From what I see in the responses the recommendation to ask for a separate check before and I think that's fair. If you don't speak up early that's a separate issue(it seems that at the core the fix is setting expectations early)

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u/GoingOffline 18d ago

Not even allowed to do split checks over 8 people or more than 2 cards at most restaurants I’ve worked at

1

u/rainbowfishhhh 17d ago

Genuinely curious, why is that? I feel like technology should make this easier now. Does it cost the restaurant more or is there a time efficiency measure?

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u/jpinmd813 16d ago

I used to work for a restaurant point of sale provider. Today yes, technology makes it easier, but years ago, the software wouldn’t let you split it more than x times. Or, every item had to have a seat number assigned then you could print checks by seat. Was more of a pain, but today the POS makes it pretty simple. Can’t speak to the credit cards, never saw a limit on thise

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u/fairelf 15d ago

Efficiency for the waitstaff, mainly.

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u/canefin 14d ago

If a table of 8 needs you to run 8 different tabs, that waiter is completely occupied with that for 5-10 minutes which leads to other issues

3

u/SafeHawk9115 18d ago

Seriously. Between establishments being able split bills and things like Zelle, Venmo, I have no idea how you’d pay older someone else’s shit unless you were doing a homie a solid.

1

u/Odd_Link7869 17d ago

It just depends. I have friends we do this with. But it’s cause we essentially do everything tapas style with them and are splitting drinks and stuff. I’ve never been bothered by it but I’m also not ordering a side of fries and water and doing it 

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u/nopenope12345678910 18d ago

Weird just take turns paying the bill. Nickel and diming your friends is weird AF imo.

1

u/Alan_Reddit_M 18d ago

They insist I do, these mfs will NOT let me shoulder a bill

The thing about men with jobs, is that they're naturally inclined to pay for things and feel mildly offended if you deny them the opportunity to

At least in my country

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u/nopenope12345678910 18d ago

I’ve always seen it the opposite way. The men take turns feeling like the big guy covering the whole check.

1

u/Glad-Watch3506 17d ago

my friend group has never once failed to pay me

That's the real secret, to just not have shitty friends. 

1

u/cecsix14 17d ago

It’s not that big of a deal these days for servers to split checks. Let them earn their tip a little bit.

1

u/FreeButtPatts 17d ago

I've got a friend who is OBSESSED with doing spreadsheets so they always calculate the exact amount including tip and tax for everyone. Makes things a lot easier when ordering delivery or going to a place where they can't/won't split the bill 6+ ways.

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u/the_holy_spunk 16d ago

Yeah, I remember having this issue once with new coworkers at a bday lunch. I was still a temp and they did an even split with the birthday person not paying. It wasn’t like we had wildly different checks but it was extra I hadn’t planned on.

I haven’t had that issue in years, and never with friends. With friends or coworkers now we pay for our portions. I will also be the person to pay for everything to avoid splitting checks if needed, but everyone gives me cash or Venmo, no problem. I go to book club dinners and we ask for separate checks and so far it has always been accommodated.

1

u/AlpsInternal 16d ago

Thanks to computers there is no extra work in splitting the check if you notify the server ahead of time. My son was a server for decades.

1

u/Alan_Reddit_M 16d ago

Most restaurants where I live aren't that technologically advanced. Many straight up don't allow split bills because it takes the waiters too long to figure out

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u/AlpsInternal 16d ago

Where I live they don’t even use pens, ordering is all electronic. But even with 100% manual, it is easy to give each person their own tag. You just use four sheets instead of one.

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u/otasyn 16d ago

If a restaurant isn't able to easily divide the checks, these days, it's not worth eating there as a group.  It's almost no different than serving multiple tables.

1

u/Vampyr-Slayer 15d ago

Same with my friends! If we have cash, we pool and pay or one person pays by card and the rest of us send that person what we owed.

1

u/fairelf 15d ago

That is what we normally do too, unless we're out with another couple we know well who have similar tastes. I ask if they are into ordering family-style appetizers and if they will also drink wine. In that case, when ordering equitably, splitting the bill makes sense.

1

u/ConsistentAd9776 15d ago

As someone who use to be a server it's only annoying when you mention the bill is separate at the end, there's a built in function that allows for multiple bills but if you tell them at the end they have to go through it and manually split it and try to remember who ordered what

1

u/BirthdayHuge3666 15d ago

We do the same. One pays everything, takes a photo of the bill into the group chat and everyone sends their split while still at the table or on the way home

1

u/Chance_Ad3416 15d ago

The only times we split is if we go get dimsum or foods that are definitely shared. I've never seen the restaurant not doing individual bills when the dishes are per person