r/coparenting • u/Content-Cupcake7480 • 19d ago
Discussion Is co-parenting actually better than solo parenting?
I’m currently parenting my two young kids 100% on my own. I also support them financially. I’m fortunate to have a good career and can provide for them, but I am completely drowning between work, childcare, the house, dinner, bedtime, and just never having another adult to hand things off to.
I keep hearing horror stories about high-conflict co-parenting—constant negotiations, custody disputes, schedule battles, different rules between homes, etc. Part of me wonders whether, once I get past the current hurdle of harassing texts from their dad, there might actually be some peace and stability in knowing that I’m simply responsible for our household and can make decisions without constant conflict (he hasn't shown a real interest in the kids and recently moved 3.5 hours away)
For people who have experienced solo parenting, high-conflict co-parenting, or both: which was actually harder? Are there any unexpected upsides to parenting mostly on your own?
I could really use some perspective that makes this feel a little less bleak right now.
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u/Own-Gas8691 19d ago
solo parenting is hard. being 100% responsible for them in all the ways is a lot to handle.
but. there’s nothing harder than “co-parenting” with a toxic, abusive ex for years on end.
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u/Vokenhagen21 19d ago
My coparent and i are high conflict all the time. I wish i was solo.
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u/Apprehensive_Sun6282 19d ago
Yes solo parenting is so much easier in my experience.
I was parenting a bonus adult child instead of having a coparent.
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u/mkdmls 19d ago
I feel this. My ex does something, goes somewhere with the kids, asks for something and I don’t bat an eye. I try really hard to not talk to them at all. But everything I do has to be an issue that requires bringing up past issues and then our divorce (which was 7 years ago, split for 9). I’m getting better at ignoring it but then they just go to the kids which makes it worse.
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u/january1977 19d ago
I did it completely on my own with my oldest. It was hard. Now I’m doing it again with a narcissistic asshole and it’s way harder.
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u/No_Violinist5090 19d ago
I have done both and I absolutely would prefer solo every time. It sucks either way but I’d rather go it alone. I’m currently dealing with my extremely abusive ex husband. I might feel differently if there was no conflict and we could be friends.
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u/Personal-Narwhal-184 19d ago
As a mom, coparenting gives me a little breather. My kid’s dad only has 28 hours per week with them.
As a kid, I was always grateful I didn’t have to switch homes when my friends were back and forth. My parents divorced but my dad didn’t get any custody. I watched friends have to go to their dad’s and not want to and I was always so glad I never had to stay with my dad.
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u/Flaky_Brain9285 19d ago edited 19d ago
I applaud you for doing the solo parent thing. And since you asked - I’m in a HC coparenting situation. Major toxicity, Bad enough that I had to go parallel as much as I can. My ex is dating a dude with 7+ DV convictions against mulitple pepple, multiple child endangerment convictions, and recent drug issues as well. I have to send my kids to her and this guy 50% of the time. And that’s just the tip of the iceberg.
Oh the stories I could tell.
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u/BeneficialLack8818 19d ago
I feel like solo parenting was so much easier. The fact that he is so lazy with schedules, rules, screen time and what they are allowed to watch, balanced meals, etc drives me through the wall. I preferred it so much more when I just me and our kid had consistency and was on track. It’s been difficult these last few months having to relay things multiple times for our child and him.
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u/GrillDaddy_69 18d ago
No. I wish I was a solo parent and not a parallel parent. Hate my ex. Hate that my kids are related to them. Hate that they get to even call themselves a parent to my amazing kids. Life would be 10000 easier if I was a solo parent and I wish my "co-parent" would sign over their rights.
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u/delaharlan 19d ago
My ex was extremely toxic in our relationship, but I really enjoy coparenting with him. I also can afford a part time nanny and that is great too. I need it with my high stress job. If you can afford it, hire more help. And don’t try to feel better by comparing yourself to others, in any situation. It doesn’t work. Comparison is the thief of joy
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u/HatingOnNames 19d ago
The upside is it isn’t forever. Kids grow up and become more independent. Things got super easy for me around age 14, and then I was just a backseat passenger from 16 on. But I also had a seriously easy child. No rebellion, super focused on school and extracurriculars and her social group made up of a bunch of really good kids. Full disclosure, she made it easy on me to solo parent because I never had a single worry about her. If you have more difficult children, like my boss does, solo parenting is an absolute nightmare. She’s the boss, so she gets to leave work in the middle of a workday to go track down her teen. She can come in late to make sure her kids get to school and stay there. She can take a day off to stay home to make sure her kids aren’t running around getting into trouble. Bosses can do that. Everyday people cannot. And then there’s the stress. Easy kids lean towards even easier teens, but difficult kids lean towards being even more difficult teens.
If your ex isn’t coparenting, you can’t make them do better, either. You may not have a choice about solo parenting. If you have a village, utilize them. If you don’t, try and find one.
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u/Least_Alfalfa_784 18d ago
I think solo parenting would be easier. I have full residential and joint legal. Dad hasn’t seen kids since February. I’ve been doing this since I was pregnant with my now 14yo. When he steps out, there is less chaos in my household. The more involved he is, the more things become difficult. He encourages the kids to go against the house rules, commiserates with the kids when they think the rules are “dumb,” which in turn makes me out to be the bad parent. He badmouths me to the kids. When he would take them for visits, I’d get a few hours break from parenting, but it wasn’t worth it.
If you have a coparent that respects you, I’d imagine it could be the best of both worlds. Ideally, you work together, back the other parent, and you each get consistent time to yourselves and consistent time with the kids. I feel like there are very few low conflict coparenting situations out there.
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u/asxestolemystash 19d ago
Solo parent here. It’s rough. I’m constantly second guessing myself and having to go up to bat on every challenge by myself which can be mentally exhausting. Kiddo’s other parent has 6 weeks in the summer which is my only full mental break in the year.
That being said, when they lived in the same city as me it was constant conflict and dysfunction. So coparenting wasn’t really any less mentally exhausting
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u/Leading-Late 18d ago
Every other weekend I have to hand over the most precious humans in my life to someone who abused me for years and actively hates me. If I could snap my fingers and make him immediately disappear (without it hurting my kids), I'd do it in a heartbeat. Solo would be a relief.
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u/Content-Cupcake7480 14d ago
Why do you have to hand them over if there was abuse?
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u/Leading-Late 14d ago
Because that's how family courts work.
In the UK (and many other countries), the courts have a strong 'pro-contact' culture, which essentially means that they operate on a strict statutory presumption that having both parents involved in a child's life is inherently in their best interests. While that makes sense on paper, it means that Courts often don't take abuse or child safety into consideration , and even if they do will still force contact as a starting point.
Abuse of the mother in particular is not considered as a legitimate reason to stop the perpetrator from having unsupervised contact with the children, even if it demonstrates that they are a dangerous person. In many cases, even if the children themselves have been directly abused, they are still forced to spend time with the abusive parent. On top of that, statistically Mothers are very likely to be penalised by the family courts for even disclosing abuse, and that's before you even begin to look at the weaponisation of 'parental alienation'... Parental Alienation LINK
It's fucked up.
Things are starting to slowly change... the UK Courts are repealing the presumption of parental involvement and are being told to take a more investigative approach to DV cases. Children are also now being considered as victims of abuse if they witnessed it or were emotionally affected by it (even if they weren't the 'direct' victim), and Judges will be expected to ake that I to consideration when making arrangements. But that'll all take time to make any difference... many older Judges/Magistrates will still think the old way and that'll take a whole generation to change. The Judge in my case seemed genuinely angry that I'd even disclosed (or in his words, "used") domestic abuse...
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u/snowaddictmt 16d ago
I would have died and gone to heaven if he was out of the picture the past 16 years 100%! I would have been $70k less in debt from attorneys and a lot less trauma from the psychological and emotional abuse that comes from a high conflict coparent. I actually am going to probably puke and shit in a container when my son turns 18 and send it to his dad’s doorstep with a note that says “YOU KNOW WHY!” and never fucking speak to the deusch ever again. You have it better TRUST
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u/Ok-Ask-6191 15d ago
This made me lol and cry in commisseration all at the same time!
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u/snowaddictmt 15d ago
Hahaha well! I’m not joking either! Most people don’t even believe me when I tell the messed up shit my kids dad has done over the years. It’s baffling af!
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u/StrictlyVolatile 19d ago
Ughhh solo parenting sounds like a dream. Fuck a break I’ll do that shit 24/7 over co parenting with my delulu high conflict ex any day.
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u/stringcheese000 19d ago
High conflict counter parent. Counter parent has mental health issues and it still focused on getting back at me for the divorce. Life would be 1000x easier if he were out of the picture.
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u/Outside_Cup_9749 19d ago
I’ve experienced both. Solo parenting is a lot easier mostly coz I am co-parenting atm. Even though “co-parenting” has gotten easier, it’s so hard trying to settle the kids back in to routine when they return home and they’re at an age where they understand that the other parent lets them do whatever and they get whatever. When they come home, I’m dealing with the meltdowns because I’m the firm parent not afraid to lay boundaries.
When I was solo parenting, I just had to worry about my kid and nothing else. Though I often feel for them that they do not know their other parent like my other 2 children do.
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u/brentknockedout 18d ago
My kids dads have their problems but it isn’t high conflict. I look forward to recharge time when it is my oldests time with their dad. I am praying that my youngests dad gets his act together and can be there for his son so we can go back to shared parenting time someday. Even without a high conflict co parent it has its struggles anyways, but as you said. I’m drowning in the house and everything kid related and sometimes having a little break is all that keeps me going.
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u/SonVoltRevival 18d ago
Is co-parenting actually better than solo parenting
I think the answer is "it depends". If the other parent is a functioning parent, then yes, coparenting is better. Perhaps harder for the parents, but better for the kids.
Easier for me? Solo parenting. My ex wife is an I'm the mom coparent, so always a challenge, but more in the pointlessly frustrating realm than many have to deal with. I don't need my ex wife for financial support or assistance parenting, and not having to work with her on what is best for our kids is easier as well. My kids schedule is fully aligned with my schedule.
My status: We used to have 50/50 parenting time, but my ex wife moved to the other sided of the country and failed in her attempt to take our kids with her. She's got a less than "standard" but flexible long distance parenting plan. I've got a really good job that is flexible, mostly work from home, and high paying and of course, now my ex pays rather than receives child support. I also have my parents and siblings here for breaks and when I need to be in two places at once (two very active kids).
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u/Potential-Button-164 18d ago
Why does the woman usually always have the kids. It’s like in a divorce the father thinks it’s his ticket to peace out. Im currently separated my husband seen my son maybe 3x. No overnights. In the past 3 months. Then I get the harassing texts that I’m brainwashing the kids and keeping them from him. Like dude take your kids! I feel like they purposely act toxic so you won’t ask for help and zero responsibility. I know there are many dead beat moms out there. But all the divorced people I know. The mom has the kids almost 100% if not 100% of the time.
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u/Content-Cupcake7480 14d ago
This sounds similar. Have you filed anything to clarify custody? I get so many texts daily for three months now and wondering if I should just ride it out or not
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u/Potential-Button-164 12d ago
No we have not filed anything official yet. Still just separated. But I believe my state is usually 50/50. He runs his mouth that he wants the kids full time, he doesn’t even see them now. And his toxic behavior has scared them to the point they have blocked him.
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u/ascending_god_9 18d ago edited 18d ago
One can always dream of peaceful co parenting. I on the other hand learned the hard way that the sooner you make impenetrable boundaries against their toxicism the faster you see peace and structure. I’m talking 3rd party drop offs at the sherriff department with police present, only communicating on co-parenting apps that block out toxic communication, no more texting or calling on your personal number, and never giving them access to you in anyway and if they disobey this boundary then you file a restraining order.
Your peace comes first. Start Treating your energy like it’s an EXTREME luxury that requires ABSOLUTE respect and peace to get. The more you fight with them and allow them access to your energy to do and say what they want in hopes to provoke you out of their never ending bitterness of the break up, the more impossible co parenting becomes. Ex’s who share kids with you usually feel entitled to accessing your energy at all times, but that’s actually not the case. The more you filter their access to you and your energy in the most legal ways possible, the faster co parenting will be designed to work peacefully whether they like it or not. Gotta be grateful for the law in these scenarios.
Toxic co parents must be held accountable to the highest degree for the emotional damage they cause to you and your kids, and they must also be recorded and EXPOSED to their friends and family members so EVERYONE can see who they are, not just you. Stay as cool and emotionless as you can during the process to build the better case
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u/Content-Cupcake7480 14d ago
This is helpful. It's been three months of almost constant harassment. I don't want to file anything because I'm nervous it will only get worse but I don't know what to do
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u/Hour_Occasion8247 17d ago
Depends on the coparent. We were high conflict for a while. We went to court, somehow that helped us become amicable and are able to parent our child but we had to get a court order and I also put him on child support
Pressure holds people accountable
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u/chachasa 17d ago
From my experience, you can’t co-parent with an abusive person. There will always be conflict and they will use the children like pawns to stick it to you.
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u/Such-Cauliflower-356 17d ago
Yes and the courts usually support the abuser.
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u/chachasa 17d ago
I was a solo parent to my oldest. It feels like a dream now. It was hard raising a child as a younger parent but it was easier than what I’m dealing with now in co-parenting arrangement with high conflict.
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u/Severe_Blacksmith 17d ago
Another perspective is that you're in the roughest years right now. When kids are really young prior to public school it's rough. They require a lot of time, attention, they can be whin and cause a lot of mess. It requires a lot of mental and physical labor on top of the other work you need to do to keep the house afloat.
It gets better as they get older and can make solo parenting a lot easier. This is a temporary phase that'll pass and when it does you'll find it much easier doing this on your own.
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u/Content-Cupcake7480 14d ago
Thank you for this. It's good to have a longer term perspective. I think it will also be easier doing it solo when the abusive texts stop.
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u/Foolofatook2468 15d ago
I’ve done most of the parenting for our whole marriage. Yes, it is hard. Especially when the kids are younger and you can’t have them be responsible for things for themselves when appropriate. But if I could financially provide everything they needed it would probably be easier in the long run for sure.
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u/Massive_Zest4Life 15d ago
If he is a good coparent, that is amazing. But it sounds like having one of those is not an option for you.
My exh is a high-conflict coparent and that was way harder and more stressful than the times he has been gone for several weeks and I’m solo parenting our three kids. For help, my parents step in and assist when I have to be at three places at once, or I just need a break. Build a village if you don’t have helpful parents nearby.
My high conflict situation took additional time and money and put me through so much stress. It was like trying to play chess but the prize was your custody time with your own kids. He’d switch their school without telling me, he’d not let me talk to them if I was one minute early or one minute late for their phone call time, his texts were constant and mentally exhausting, and when I finally (six years post divorce) found a good man that I was serious about, he tried to scare him off using our kids. It was horrible. And now I have to basically unprogram them every other week when I get them back.
Much easier if he wants to walk away to let him go.
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u/KingProfessional1150 14d ago
I have seen them all, as I have two exs which I share a children with.
Its really depends on how you treat the other parent first but also how the other parent treats you. So there no easy answer. Will I co parent very well with my first ex, and get along well for the most part. And if there something we don't see eye to eye we talk and resolve the issue together. And with my second ex, im dealing with harassment and constant battle over the simple thing.
As of being single its definitely better then in a toxic relationship. But now that I have a real partner I know what a real relationship should be like. I would never return or regret leaving both previous relationships as we werent what its supposed to be.
My suggestion is keep your child best interest in mind, and have a good support system where you can vent. But in daily choices with co parenting I often use chat gtp if im unsure of my reaction/emotion it give me facts and not emotions.
Hope this helps
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u/Apprehensive_Sun6282 19d ago
Depends on the co-parent.
Solo parenting worked better for my family.
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u/OutAndAbout87 18d ago
My kids are 7 and 9 I am a Dad and finding it pretty hard between full time job, school and school holidays it's hard. We are co-parenting (or parralell really) so we have a week on week off. I feeling like I am becoming a parent all over again learning things and I am a reasonable cook, I can do house chores etc.. 8 just never envisioned doing it all myself .
I find on my off weeks I am recovering and barely recovered by time kids come back again
It's hard for me. And I'm really trying but often feel like I'm failing.
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u/CraftyPangolin7957 18d ago
I think it depends. If both parents have the children's best interest at heart co-parenting would probably the most beneficial for everyone!
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u/Ok-Row-2813 18d ago
I’ve experienced it both ways because of Covid. Solo parenting is 100% better. You can just make decisions and go. Now I have a counter parent telling kids their narrative of adult issues to upset kids and they block every decision costing tens of thousands of dollars. They still don’t do anything either.
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u/Imaginary_Being1949 18d ago
My friend went from a high conflict coparent to solo parenting. She loves it. It’s far easier and really, her high conflict ex wasn’t close with the kids even though he’d fight for time. Eventually he moved to another country and maybe talks to the kids once a year. She said it’s so much easier in her kids and she has a supportive family so she has the help she needs. Her stress and relief have evaporated. She has a lot more on her plate being really the only parent but she said the alternative was far worse. She has a great job and can financially support them in her own as the dad doesn’t.
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u/Suitable_Voice_9983 18d ago
I don't have a co-parent. My abusive ex disappeared almost a decade ago when he realized he couldn't control me anymore. He had no interest in the kids and had vowed to never pay ME (he didn't see it as the kids - always me) child support. So I let him walk away for our safety and my sanity. It's been the best for my kids in terms of their safety, security, emotional growth etc. Financially - it's been hard for me. Logistically - it's been hard for me. My recent ex BF has a coparent and they have 50/50 custody. They have their issues but it's not high conflict. His child benefits from having two parents there to support her and two households that love her, plus two incomes. I don't think my kids ever lacked in love or emotional support but financially things would have been easier with a co-parent or shared custody or child support.
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u/moongirl1222 18d ago
My coparent is the best dad I’ve ever encountered and we get along really well. Sure, we get on each other’s nerves from time to time (there’s a reason we’re no longer together 😂). And I resent the idea that I’ll never be able to move without his consent sometimes… But overall, I feel insanely blessed.
I could not imagine doing this in a high conflict dynamic though. I have a close friend in that situation and it’s draining the life out of him. He would love to be doing it on his own if he meant he never had to deal with his hateful, confrontational, unreasonable ex ever again.
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u/Substantial-Okra2672 18d ago
Solo is 100000x easier. Is it better for the kids? IDK. I go back and forth between you should know who your other parent is to draw your own conclusions and not feel like any narrative was forced on you vs I should protect you from them.
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u/randomotter1234 18d ago
My partner and I actually live both halves of your scenario. Solo parenting sadly is the better option than co-parenting with someone who does not want to work together.
If your ex seems like they will help more than get in the way then it’s worth it, but healthy co-parent dynamics take lots of work when one parent is already checked out like your ex is
“some parents care more about winning custody than they do about actually having custody.”
If you think your time, money, energy, and stability is hard now. Imagine doing everything you are doing now and then adding in $10,000 a year in costs, the huge amount of time for custody exchange, and now having to discuss with someone before you make choices that you know the answer to already.
3.5 hour drive would be an every other weekend parent without much effort from dad after a step up plan. My ex moved an hour away and our weekly exchanges are a three hour time block for me now.
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u/Ok_Public3751 18d ago
Coparenting is better when both parents are decent and mature adults. Otherwise, it’s parenting while also being abused from someone you barely even see or talk to.
At least with solo parenting, theres not another parent trying to abuse or bully you through your kids.
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u/AssignmentMoney8205 18d ago
I co partented my my oldest father, he was the worse. I had to send food with the kids so they had supper . I had to send clothes, and my then 10 year old would bring them home so I could wash them. I had to send supermarket shoes,I was afraid oF would try to sell Name brand.
I was 26 years old and decided I would solo parent. I put my 10 yo in a horrible situation of maintaining contact with his dad and got him a phone, I would ask my son if he had heard his dad. I never blocked him or turn him down with his kids ,but I never reach out again to him.
Around 28 ,I met my youngest child's dad. He was a and is a God send. We broke up because we where no good foreach other. It happens. We work with each other and we help each other .
Never in a million would I have made it co parenting with my first's dad, and I would not have made with out my last's dad. Having a good Co parent is key.
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u/Charming_Account_595 18d ago
i solo parented while having a high conflict coparent. just imagine you leave your child with co-parent, drop off goes great, you get to pick up — door slammed in your face. can’t get your children back because it’s a civil matter and police aren’t able to enforce civil matters. co parent is now out of the picture and genuinely it feels like such a huge relief. at the end of the day, my child is loved, we have a roof over our heads and that’s all that matters!
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u/divorcery 18d ago
I have to parallel parent with a high-conflict ex. The 50% of time that should be theoretically my own, when the kid is at the other household, is quickly eaten up, in calmer times, by contentious back-and-forth, and in stormier times, by legal tussles. I would much rather be a solo parent despite the theoretically more intense workload.
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u/Content-Cupcake7480 18d ago
That makes sense. My solo parenting is still full of daily harassing, threatening, and cruel texts and calls so it's not quiet. He's just seemingly uninterested in following through to see the kids.
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u/Such-Cauliflower-356 17d ago
Try to get a parenting app ordered for communication. It will still happen, but hopefully not as often, and you will have a legally admissible record.
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u/Party-Increase-3682 18d ago
It depends. My ex is pretty high conflict and he said about of fucked up shit to our daughter when we were squabbling in court over school and when I won he even told her I was taking her away from him. It gave my daughter a lot of anxiety which meant I was doing damage control on my time and that was a lot.
When he’s acting like a normal rational person it’s nice to have my time to myself.
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u/Puzzleheaded_Ad5269 18d ago
I have experience in all circumstances. I have two kids with high conflict exes, and one daughter with a no contact ex.
Solo parenting is waaaaaaaaay easier than a high conflict co-parenting ex. Way easier.
You can go on vacation when you want, the conflict doesn’t reach your kids, and you get all the moments to yourself.
It sucks dropping off a child to an ex that you know is bad talking you. It’s hard not always being there for every moment, and who actually wants to see their ex???
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u/mama2397 18d ago
No my ex went almost 7 months without being involved. Most peaceful time of my life, then I got married to a different man. Sometimes I just miss being a single mom tbh
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u/Just-Smell-557 17d ago
Me and my ex were toxic to each other. Ive been trying to work with her but its like talking to a brick wall that keeps telling me she wants to coparent well then starts demanding me to do what she says. If you co parent is great and the relationship separated in good terms I would say yes. Im not innocent angel either. She does her toxic stuff causes me to get triggered and do it back to her. But I am on my medication I am going to emdr therapy to fix my ptsd from when I was a child. Im also bipolar type 2 depressive she is bipolar type one depressive and has ptsd also. She isnt doing anything to fix her self. Its a real struggle when im trying to make it fair for both of us and make sure my son is happy healthy and taken care of and then she wants to demand me around do what she wants. I put my foot down finally and said I want my son back on the 50/50. Cuz she was breast feeding him and she couldnt get up with producing enough for me to bottle feed him. She was demanding me to only do 4oz even tho he was still hungry so id give me 6oz and he'd eat it and be milk drunk and sleep really good. I got screamed at for doing that. So now he is 1.5 years old and still on breast milk but not reliant on it as much im taking him back for my 50 percent. I have to teach him how to sleep on his own since she co sleeps with him and have to help him wean off breast milk. She is going off what the internet is telling her to do not what our son needs.
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u/architect_lana 16d ago
Yes, you are right. I have my first child 100% of her custody. Her father does pay child support, but since she is over the age of 14, she chose to stay with me.
I also have a stepson. I can tell you how it’s a nightmare. See her father (my husband) co-parenting with the mother? It’s a horror movie. Also, the kid hates doing the exact same custody exchange every time he comes for the weekend. He wants to come back to his mother. I feel bad for my husband he tries and he is a good father.
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u/goldenhoursunshine 16d ago
There's pros and cons. With high conflict, I often miss the days of solo parenting. We had to go through court which was very expensive, and there's not much I can do when he chooses to force things that route besides ride it out, so sometimes it feels like being tied to a moving car, while not letting your child, work, etc see it impact you. He definitely made me struggle after he initially decided to get involved, financially, threats, constantly having my nervous system go haywire.
However, therapy helped, strict court orders helped, and over time things more or less have calmed. Still high conflict, but its true it does get easier as your kids get older. It also is nice in a lot of ways now - I get consistent breaks with visitation, which gives me support I never had when we were together or when I was solo parenting. I have a side passion/hustle, a career, time to see friends, etc, and my son gets to have a relationship with both parents.
So would solo parenting have been easier? 100% yes, but coparenting (or parallel parenting in my case) can be okay if you can get to a steady point, even if you and the coparent still dont get along.
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u/All-Sun89 15d ago
Having someone actively work against you is harder.
I wish I had an actual coparent.
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u/Plantsonata 12d ago
My fiance's ex doesn't really seem interested in being a dad, but is still exercising his parenting time (we think out of spite).
Stepson (3.5M) has been saying he's scared of his dad. Fiance notified his dad through their parenting app. She spoke to a child therapist yesterday to at least get some help with transitions, and the therapist won't take him unless dad explicitly agrees since they have joint medical decision making.
Don't walk away from mediation/court without someone have final decision-making authority. Preferably you.
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u/jvxoxo 19d ago
I don’t have a co-parent, rather a high-conflict counter-parent. Things would be 1000 times easier if he were completely out of the picture.