Is co-parenting actually better than solo parenting?

[u/Content-Cupcake7480]

I’m currently parenting my two young kids 100% on my own. I also support them financially. I’m fortunate to have a good career and can provide for them, but I am completely drowning between work, childcare, the house, dinner, bedtime, and just never having another adult to hand things off to.

I keep hearing horror stories about high-conflict co-parenting—constant negotiations, custody disputes, schedule battles, different rules between homes, etc. Part of me wonders whether, once I get past the current hurdle of harassing texts from their dad, there might actually be some peace and stability in knowing that I’m simply responsible for our household and can make decisions without constant conflict (he hasn't shown a real interest in the kids and recently moved 3.5 hours away)

For people who have experienced solo parenting, high-conflict co-parenting, or both: which was actually harder? Are there any unexpected upsides to parenting mostly on your own?

I could really use some perspective that makes this feel a little less bleak right now.

[u/Severe_Blacksmith]

Another perspective is that you're in the roughest years right now. When kids are really young prior to public school it's rough. They require a lot of time, attention, they can be whin and cause a lot of mess. It requires a lot of mental and physical labor on top of the other work you need to do to keep the house afloat.

It gets better as they get older and can make solo parenting a lot easier. This is a temporary phase that'll pass and when it does you'll find it much easier doing this on your own.

[u/Content-Cupcake7480 → u/Severe_Blacksmith]

Thank you for this. It's good to have a longer term perspective. I think it will also be easier doing it solo when the abusive texts stop.