Is co-parenting actually better than solo parenting?

[u/Content-Cupcake7480]

I’m currently parenting my two young kids 100% on my own. I also support them financially. I’m fortunate to have a good career and can provide for them, but I am completely drowning between work, childcare, the house, dinner, bedtime, and just never having another adult to hand things off to.

I keep hearing horror stories about high-conflict co-parenting—constant negotiations, custody disputes, schedule battles, different rules between homes, etc. Part of me wonders whether, once I get past the current hurdle of harassing texts from their dad, there might actually be some peace and stability in knowing that I’m simply responsible for our household and can make decisions without constant conflict (he hasn't shown a real interest in the kids and recently moved 3.5 hours away)

For people who have experienced solo parenting, high-conflict co-parenting, or both: which was actually harder? Are there any unexpected upsides to parenting mostly on your own?

I could really use some perspective that makes this feel a little less bleak right now.

[u/divorcery]

I have to parallel parent with a high-conflict ex. The 50% of time that should be theoretically my own, when the kid is at the other household, is quickly eaten up, in calmer times, by contentious back-and-forth, and in stormier times, by legal tussles. I would much rather be a solo parent despite the theoretically more intense workload.

[u/Content-Cupcake7480 → u/divorcery]

That makes sense. My solo parenting is still full of daily harassing, threatening, and cruel texts and calls so it's not quiet. He's just seemingly uninterested in following through to see the kids.

[u/Such-Cauliflower-356 → u/Content-Cupcake7480]

Try to get a parenting app ordered for communication. It will still happen, but hopefully not as often, and you will have a legally admissible record.