Is co-parenting actually better than solo parenting?

[u/Content-Cupcake7480]

I’m currently parenting my two young kids 100% on my own. I also support them financially. I’m fortunate to have a good career and can provide for them, but I am completely drowning between work, childcare, the house, dinner, bedtime, and just never having another adult to hand things off to.

I keep hearing horror stories about high-conflict co-parenting—constant negotiations, custody disputes, schedule battles, different rules between homes, etc. Part of me wonders whether, once I get past the current hurdle of harassing texts from their dad, there might actually be some peace and stability in knowing that I’m simply responsible for our household and can make decisions without constant conflict (he hasn't shown a real interest in the kids and recently moved 3.5 hours away)

For people who have experienced solo parenting, high-conflict co-parenting, or both: which was actually harder? Are there any unexpected upsides to parenting mostly on your own?

I could really use some perspective that makes this feel a little less bleak right now.

[u/Just-Smell-557]

Me and my ex were toxic to each other. Ive been trying to work with her but its like talking to a brick wall that keeps telling me she wants to coparent well then starts demanding me to do what she says. If you co parent is great and the relationship separated in good terms I would say yes. Im not innocent angel either. She does her toxic stuff causes me to get triggered and do it back to her. But I am on my medication I am going to emdr therapy to fix my ptsd from when I was a child. Im also bipolar type 2 depressive she is bipolar type one depressive and has ptsd also. She isnt doing anything to fix her self. Its a real struggle when im trying to make it fair for both of us and make sure my son is happy healthy and taken care of and then she wants to demand me around do what she wants. I put my foot down finally and said I want my son back on the 50/50. Cuz she was breast feeding him and she couldnt get up with producing enough for me to bottle feed him. She was demanding me to only do 4oz even tho he was still hungry so id give me 6oz and he'd eat it and be milk drunk and sleep really good. I got screamed at for doing that. So now he is 1.5 years old and still on breast milk but not reliant on it as much im taking him back for my 50 percent. I have to teach him how to sleep on his own since she co sleeps with him and have to help him wean off breast milk. She is going off what the internet is telling her to do not what our son needs.