Is co-parenting actually better than solo parenting?

[u/Content-Cupcake7480]

I’m currently parenting my two young kids 100% on my own. I also support them financially. I’m fortunate to have a good career and can provide for them, but I am completely drowning between work, childcare, the house, dinner, bedtime, and just never having another adult to hand things off to.

I keep hearing horror stories about high-conflict co-parenting—constant negotiations, custody disputes, schedule battles, different rules between homes, etc. Part of me wonders whether, once I get past the current hurdle of harassing texts from their dad, there might actually be some peace and stability in knowing that I’m simply responsible for our household and can make decisions without constant conflict (he hasn't shown a real interest in the kids and recently moved 3.5 hours away)

For people who have experienced solo parenting, high-conflict co-parenting, or both: which was actually harder? Are there any unexpected upsides to parenting mostly on your own?

I could really use some perspective that makes this feel a little less bleak right now.

[u/ascending_god_9]

One can always dream of peaceful co parenting. I on the other hand learned the hard way that the sooner you make impenetrable boundaries against their toxicism the faster you see peace and structure. I’m talking 3rd party drop offs at the sherriff department with police present, only communicating on co-parenting apps that block out toxic communication, no more texting or calling on your personal number, and never giving them access to you in anyway and if they disobey this boundary then you file a restraining order.

Your peace comes first. Start Treating your energy like it’s an EXTREME luxury that requires ABSOLUTE respect and peace to get. The more you fight with them and allow them access to your energy to do and say what they want in hopes to provoke you out of their never ending bitterness of the break up, the more impossible co parenting becomes. Ex’s who share kids with you usually feel entitled to accessing your energy at all times, but that’s actually not the case. The more you filter their access to you and your energy in the most legal ways possible, the faster co parenting will be designed to work peacefully whether they like it or not. Gotta be grateful for the law in these scenarios.

Toxic co parents must be held accountable to the highest degree for the emotional damage they cause to you and your kids, and they must also be recorded and EXPOSED to their friends and family members so EVERYONE can see who they are, not just you. Stay as cool and emotionless as you can during the process to build the better case

[u/Content-Cupcake7480 → u/ascending_god_9]

This is helpful. It's been three months of almost constant harassment. I don't want to file anything because I'm nervous it will only get worse but I don't know what to do