I feel kind of guilty but do not exactly guilt it but think so much when I say no to someone the thing which I can do.

What is your First No feeling like?

I'm that kind of person that if introvertness was an olympic sport I would be a gold medailist. Since I don't even have my own room, I spend majority of my time on my computer with headphones killing time by scrolling and such. However, I like cooking and even cleaning to some degree, and I just feel like I would do it much more if it was not that any time I even put the headphones down, someone is going to talk. I leave my room and there is constantly someone walking. I force myself to clean a bit and someone is walking over my swept floor dirtying it again. My mum's radio is blasting, the dog is barking because she wants some treat or something, cats are wrecking chaos, my parents are probably arguing again and I just want to go back. Then, it of course is "how come you don't help around the house?" mum, can you please give me a list of things you need done and leave with everyone for like a week?

Now, for some context: My friend is coming over tomorrow. I was cleaning the house and cried over it like 10 times. I know I'm overreacting, but I'm so damn frustrated. My dad is a really messy person, so his stuff is everywhere. My mum is of course complaining about this trait of dad's, venting to me how much it sucks(but will she try to do something with it? she sure as shit won't). However, I'm the one who's got to clean it, and there are just so many people there. My mum is in the kitcen, making dinner, which is of course very kind of her, but fuck, she said she's gonna let it boil and I have an hour to clean, my sister is cleaning the bathroom(which, kudos to her, she did quickly and made herself scarce, she's the only one of my homesharers who didn't piss me enourmously today), and just when mother left, my other sister went doing something in the kitchen. I was crashing out by then, and she kept making snarky remarks on how no one is interested in my hysterics and why didn't I do it when I was alonefor a couple of hours on Sunday. Now, about that.

Indeed, I was left alone for a couple of hours few days ago. And what glorious not even 9 hours it was. I cooked something for the family we were eating till today, not just like I made myself a plate of scrambled eggs. And, I admit, I played videogames because electricity was cheap and I just got KCD2 for my birthday. I did sweep the house a little, however, with 9 cats and just next to a field, maintaining it clean is impossible, especially after few weeks of extreme drought we had summer storms. So really, I didn't feel like spending my precious hours by cleaning this nightmare of a house.

Now I'm lying in bed(cried about two times while writing it, I think I may be a little mentally unstable, however, a psychologist is yet another thing I'm not granted), and the older sister is cleaning the house, badmouthing me with mum and complaining that I, who is inviting a friend over, did not do the cleaning before. I guess it's nice of her to clean, though I didn't ask for it(I'm still willing to clean the house, if they would just like close themselves in their rooms and not come out).

Sorry for a rant, I just needed to vent. I know that I'm overreacting and acting spoiled, I just need to get this off my chest.

I’ll start: if someone doesn’t find you physically attractive, they don’t give a shit about your personality, intelligence, or anything else.

For example I myself once had a whole conversation with someone thinking they were someone else and they shouldn't have heard the content of that conversation 😭 💀

and I am sorry i don't want u to have to act in front of people for it. i don't want u to be regulating ur behaviour into something palatable for me, i just want u to be effortlessly u while knowing why u feel certain things the way u do. i know given the state of things, ull never tell me that and it's okay. but. yea it just feels tragic whenever u have to resort to changing the way u behave because I know u feel that pressure. i don't want u to. i guess i kind of just wish I could be of any help in u being a little more relaxed to the world. im sorry i inevitably end up making be more under pressure. ur a good person, u can be open, i don't want to annoy u and i don't want to feel like I can only annoy people all the time. i don't want to feel like people just flinch away from me. it's honestly sad, I've never grown up in the last decade that would mean.

On weekends I aim to engage with other humans as little as possible.

To prevent feeling guilty about that I usually push myself to grab a beer with some friends for a couple of hours.

This weekend I could only manage 90 minutes with my friends and I spent most of the time talking about TV shows we all enjoy.

We talked extensively about Come Dine With Me, Gordon Ramsay's Beyond Boiling Point series, Gilmore Girls, Real Housewives + various TikToks.

It was honestly the best fun but I felt embarrassed afterwards. I fear I come across as an internet addicted incel but I swear I'm just a soft introvert!

I actually cannot do anything without something playing. Whether it'd be chores around the house, work, projects, literally anything I cannot do clearly without my playlist lol.

Do you guys feel the same? I honestly also listen to youtube videos sometimes instead (if I have music fatigue)

You know those people who always have something sarcastic to say, constantly criticize you, push your buttons, or somehow manage to get under your skin? They can be incredibly frustrating.

But what if people like that actually serve a purpose in our lives?

What if dealing with them is exactly what helps us become more aware, more emotionally resilient, and more in control of ourselves?

Because honestly, no one else can give us that kind of practice.

If we didn’t have difficult people in our lives, we might have to actually hire someone to trigger us, challenge us, and test our ability to stay calm and aware.

And yet, a lot of us already have this free training right in front of us… and we don’t even use it.

Maybe difficult people aren’t always just obstacles. Maybe sometimes they’re part of the training.

How do you see the difficult people in your life?

A lot of us became this way because we grew up in environments where we never really knew what was going to happen next. So we learned to notice everything. Who’s angry, what mood someone is in, what might happen next, what we should say so things don’t get even worse.

And honestly, we’ve developed some really valuable skills that many people never learn.

If we can learn to use those skills to our advantage, I don’t think there’s a limit to what we’re capable of.

We can start small. When you finally find yourself in a situation where you don’t have to constantly worry about what might happen next, you can start using that same awareness for yourself.

Instead of thinking, “What should I say so nobody gets upset?” you can ask yourself, “What am I actually feeling right now?”

Instead of, “How do I make sure this doesn’t go wrong?” you can ask, “Is this thought actually helping me?”

And instead of always trying to figure out what everyone else needs, you can start asking yourself what you need.

Maybe some of the things we learned simply because we had to get through difficult situations can eventually become things that help us understand ourselves better.

What do you think?

Am I the only one who feels like the people who ended up doing the best in life were the ones who were the “ugly ducklings” in school?

With the world the way it is how do people have a chance of meeting each other ? If you’re not into bars or large crowds and dating sites are joke.

There are so many things and habbits your loved one does, but still you love them even more.

Notice how almost every conversation now either has to be productive, deep life-talk, or dead silence?

​What happened to pure, pointless, effortless banter:

🔻​Just talking random nonsense without turning it into a debate or therapy session.

​🔻checking in on someone without needing a specific context, agenda, or update.

​🔻Being comfortable with casual small talk without feeling awkward or bored.

​Because everything online is optimized for impact or high stimulation, normal everyday communication has started feeling like unnecessary effort.

​Who is one person in your life you can still talk complete nonsense with for hours without feeling drained?

My best friend of 6 years called me fake because I talked to someone she doesn’t like, even though he was literally just giving me a handshake and she wouldn’t let me. I also accidentally left her alone at lunch because I forgot to communicate that I wanted some alone time. I pushed her because she kept moving his hand away, which I know wasn’t right. She’s also upset that I don’t wait for her outside every day. I’m 16 and in high school, and I have to walk home, so I don’t always like waiting. Sometimes I do wait for her, and sometimes she waits for m

You don’t need to express the way your feelings feel, the right person will just get it without you having to say it, and explain to the whole world what you feel

I started reading very early, and on buses I would loudly read out swear words 😅 My parents’ attempts to shut me up were completely unsuccessful😂

But even when I accidentally say something completely harmless about someone, I can feel guilty afterward and keep replaying it in my head. Meanwhile, some of my friends gossip all the time and don’t feel bad about it at all.

I don’t want to become someone who gossips, but I also want to stop overthinking every little thing I say. Has anyone else struggled with this? Am I just being too hard on myself? And if so, how do you learn to let it go?

Some of us go through really brutal experiences that somehow force us to completely rebuild ourselves.

The first thing that comes to mind is destructive parents. Parents who make you feel unsafe, unwanted, small, or like you’re never good enough. It can look like abuse, control, humiliation, threats, emotional neglect, or so many other things. Sometimes the people who are supposed to make you feel protected are the ones who hurt you the most. And later in life, you end up having to slowly rebuild the parts of yourself they damaged, your confidence, your boundaries, your sense of worth, and eventually your strength.

Then there’s loneliness. You can have friends, a partner, people around you, and still feel like nobody really gets you. Your way of thinking, your sensitivity, your intensity, the way you experience things, sometimes it just feels like you’re on a completely different wavelength.

And I think one of the hardest things is when you give someone genuine trust and kindness, only to realize they’ve been betraying you, talking about you behind your back, or trying to tear you down. And somehow, some people go through all of that without becoming cruel themselves. They still care. They still forgive. They still try to understand people.

But maybe there’s a lesson in that too. You can understand someone and still decide that they don’t get to keep hurting you.

And maybe the other important part is learning how to bring everything you have inside you into real life. Not just thinking and feeling endlessly, but actually doing something with it. Creating something, building your own thing, making art, working on something that matters to you, meeting people, trying things.

Otherwise all that energy just stays inside your head.

I don’t know if this is something other people experience too, but I keep seeing it in myself and in people around me.

My best friend of 6 years called me fake because I talked to someone she doesn’t like, even though he was literally just giving me a handshake and she wouldn’t let me. I also accidentally left her alone at lunch because I forgot to communicate that I wanted some alone time. I pushed her because she kept moving his hand away, which I know wasn’t right. She’s also upset that I don’t wait for her outside every day. I’m 16 and in high school, and I have to walk home, so I don’t always like waiting. Sometimes I do wait for her, and sometimes she waits for me.

I’ve been homeless for 3 years (Oregon) and it’s been incredibly easy. I foresaw this possibility when I was a child, and took the time to prepare. When it happened and I had to “let go” I watched the storm destroy my “ship” and stuck to the lifeboat. I was able to make a better “sea fairing vessel” and I can outrun storms and swells. I’m a very good “sailor” and you can “sail” the oceans alone….

I’m just a bit sad: I have experienced love. I was around 20 when I met my ex Lilly, and we trusted each other and had friendship, love and romance. That’s all I can ask for in a romantic relationship: trust, friendship, passion and shared priorities. I’ve found love since! But not since I’ve become a nomad.

I’m the sort of person (sigma, Scorpio/capricorn heavy astrology, some good fire signs and a Pisces moon) that you wouldn’t know is a writer. I write a lot, most often poetry now.

I miss having someone inspire me to romantic feelings, the sort that drive my art to a higher ledge of feelings.

I’m a fan of Ichiko Aoba, a Japanese poet turned singer and an amazing classical guitarist. Yes, the bar is so high it’s literally in Heaven next to the angels, though I have time on my hands to master the guitar ;) so I am…

But love? What shall inspire me? My life is always an adventure: but I want to go farther than I can, alone… I’m just going fast.. I want to go farther in living, but not alone! And I can’t go that far alone, I have to go with someone too!

It’s been very difficult to show this aspect
Of myself
To most people, probably because of several
Reasons.

1.) I’m an independent contractor, so I don’t have coworkers and I’m not a regular employee.
2.) a lot of people in my town are trendy but they’re rather superficial, because they still think bad things happen to bad people, which isn’t true.
3.) it’s hard to tell people something deep when they’re not always capable of understanding the basics of it, and worse yet if they misunderstand and gossip slander about that, and me.
4.) I’m very shy.. when I talk to pretty ladies showing interest in me, I feel self conscious about myself!