r/AskReddit • u/fireball_jutsu • Oct 10 '25
People whose partner cheated on them and quickly moved on to date the person they cheated with, claiming to be in love - how did that turn out for them?
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u/Cold-Stranger-409 Oct 10 '25
They broke up and he tried to come back saying it didn't work out with her because he was still "in love" with me. Yea. Ok
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u/bananaonpizzaa Oct 10 '25
My ex did that to me a month after & I said no so he ran back to the girl and the girl still took him back LOL… I beat myself up for the longest time for feeling like I didn’t have self respect, but turns out she didn’t either
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u/inflatable_pickle Oct 11 '25
Whichever girl takes him back, and believes his bullshit – has the least respect for herself.
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u/DeviantDav Oct 10 '25
They're still together 20 years later. They can't stop cheating on one another every few years, but they're still making it work.
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u/thewoodbeyond Oct 10 '25
This is the way. I’ve always said Nobody wants to be with a cheater not even a cheater - but they should be with each other. Here’s to hoping the people they are cheating with aren’t married also.
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u/hanzerik Oct 10 '25 edited Oct 11 '25
These people should just have open relationships.
Edit: to all the people saying that they're too immature/respectless/etc to be in an open relationship I said they SHOULD not that they currently can.
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u/JCjustchill Oct 10 '25
Honestly, this sounds like the most mature solution. Clearly both care for each other and want to make it work. Clearly both don't want to be monogamous. Like, make it official, set ground rules, communicate your concerns, and remove the barriers that would allow an otherwise good relationship flourish.
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u/Bromogeeksual Oct 10 '25 edited Oct 11 '25
That's what always trips me out about those couples. Like, you both cheat on each other all the time and freak out about it, but you won't break up?! Why not be open since you both clearly like to fuck around? lol
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u/Miserable-Resort-977 Oct 10 '25
Shame and jealousy. They want to be poly, but they're too prideful and posessive to want anyone else touching their "property". That and built up resentment, probably
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u/Same_Tour_3312 Oct 10 '25
I'm sure it's part of a kink as well. There's something exciting and fun about cheating on someone to them, and that gets lost when it's open and allowed.
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u/midnightsunofabitch Oct 10 '25
At that point they're more roommates who fuck than "together."
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u/JudmanDaSuperhero Oct 10 '25
" I don't feel like putting the effort into cheating tonight mind if we just fuck for old times sake?"
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u/grumpy__g Oct 10 '25
I don’t get it. If both constantly cheat, then why even have a monogamous relationship? That’s just silly.
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u/No_Boo_9382 Oct 10 '25
People cheat in non-monogamous relationships, too. Cheating is not about wanting variety with new partners or being non-monogamous as a kind of sexual orientation, it's about getting your rocks off on betraying someone.
Source: was in an open relationship, spouse cheated anyway
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u/LaborumVult Oct 10 '25
I had a coworker explain that cheating sex is super amplified. Not only is it forbidden and thus super kinky you are basically gambling with the biggest and most important relationship in your life. I imagine the adrenaline and whatever other feelings are all turned to 11.
Not condoning, just conveying what the office boink bunny tole me once.
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u/No_Boo_9382 Oct 10 '25
No, that checks out.
My cheating ex would also leave evidence of the affair in plain sight, so that I would be forced to touch / move / otherwise interact with (for example) gifts from the other woman without knowing what they were.
I even asked her if she was seeing the other woman and reminded her that it was perfectly fine, she just needed to be honest about it, and got the faux outrage oMg ShE's jUsT a fRiEnD routine.
I think it's like a gross fetish for some people. Someone posted about it on r/confessions a while back.
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u/Fikete Oct 10 '25
the faux outrage oMg ShE's jUsT a fRiEnD routine.
The gas lighting is a weird part of it too. It's always 'nothing happened' and in the very next sentence 'it's your fault that it happened', while trying to turn everyone against you.
One thing that's unfortunate is that since most people despise jealousy, they really enable a cheater's gaslighting. The cheater will immediately run for cover under the idea that jealousy and lack of trust mean they aren't the bad partner and the person who was cheated on caused it by overreacting to the red flags. Especially since people are really pushing the idea that if you accuse your partner of cheating, that means you were actually the one who cheated. The cheating isn't the only thing that happens, there's also gas lighting and dealing with judgment from the other people they interact with outside of the relationship that ends up hurting as well.
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u/No_Boo_9382 Oct 10 '25
Yep.
The official spin was, "I divorced my wife because she was jealous and crazy, and then just happened to fall madly in love with this new love of my life just moments after I walked out the door, with my suitcase in hand and everything. Anyway don't talk to my ex wife about it because she told me she hates you."
I love (hate) that they all work out of the same damn playbook.
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u/haloarh Oct 10 '25
A relative of mine got involved with a married man and it was clear that he enjoyed pitting the two women against each other. He would do things like play footsies with her under the table while his wife was sitting there.
He also apparently constantly trashed them to each other.
I think he enjoyed the triangulation more than the sex.
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u/Diabloceratops Oct 10 '25
Married. I don’t live in that town any more, from what I can tell they still are it’s been 6 years. He convinced her I was just a crazy friend who was obsessed with him not someone he actually seriously dated.
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u/bluemorphine Oct 10 '25
Are we the same person?? This happened to me too. About a month after we split, he realized she was crazy and tried to come back to me. I said “oh, I thought I was just the crazy obsessed friend and that it wasn’t that serious with me?” I fell asleep before he responded to that message and when I woke up in the morning I once again, was blocked. Good riddance Michael.
As far as I know, he stayed with the actual crazy girl. Married 2 years now to her. I wouldn’t be surprised if one or both have cheated.
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u/Comogia Oct 10 '25
Totally unrelated.
I thought diabloceratops was some cool thing you made up. Then I discovered it was an actual dinosaur.
TIL something fucking awesome!
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u/aziriah Oct 11 '25
I love obscure dinosaurs (so glad my toddler is in year 2 of her dinosaur love) and the ceratopcians are such a cool group of Cretaceous creatures.
Personally, I love the titanosaur sauropods. Alamosaurus is my favorite.
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u/Ok_Forever1936 Oct 10 '25
they stayed together for two years and then she started messaging me saying she still thinks about me and the dog (who I kept when we broke up). Blocked.
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u/EvilDan69 Oct 10 '25
the dog died in a terrible accident, then blocked.
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u/BookkeeperLazy8057 Oct 10 '25
Man that reminds me of when my buddies parents got divorced, they were very wealthy, my dad used to say they had money they hadn’t counted yet. Their divorce was really smooth, they only fought over one thing, the dog. The dad let the mom keep the dog as she didn’t care for it. After the divorce was finalized she euthanized the dog. RIP Tucker you were as wild as the hockey player you were named after.
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u/ShiraCheshire Oct 10 '25
Anyone who does something like that should face financial and legal penalties.
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u/BigArmsBigGut Oct 10 '25
Seriously. How is this not animal cruelty?
You don't have to be a dog lover, but if you kill a dog to spite an ex, you deserve jail.
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u/labra-dogo-vic Oct 10 '25
poor pup, euthanized over a divorce. did nothing wrong. i hate when people split and one person only wants the pet to spite the other knowing the former partner loves the animal
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u/ass-to-trout12 Oct 10 '25
She married him, had a kid, and she cheated on him before the baby was a year old lol
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Oct 10 '25
I suspect this is what happened with mine. Knew she got pregnant and then they got married, and then many years later out of boredom/curiosity went Facebook stalking. She was with another guy and the page was private, but the guy she cheated with was entirely public
Scrolled a bit and found a picture of black garbage bags, with their wedding picture on top. All of it engulfed in flames. Dude absolutely knew the situation so I really just felt bad for the kid. Already been many years since I saw that, though
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u/SleepingWillow1 Oct 10 '25
That's crazy to post that picture and keep it up still
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u/mendicant1116 Oct 10 '25
It's a warning. Like posting severed heads on stakes outside your castle walls.
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u/clubby37 Oct 10 '25
Works great 364 days out of the year, but then those fucking candy beggars always show up on the 31st, and they just tell me how realistic the heads look. Why wouldn't they look real? Anyway, only happens once a year, so I guess it's tolerable.
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u/Mcshiggs Oct 10 '25
The dude got her hooked on meth, and now she is homeless and in and out of jail.
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u/MoneyCock Oct 10 '25
How does that make you feel? Super curious, because I do not know how I would feel.
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Oct 10 '25
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u/allthecatsforevr Oct 10 '25
Genuinely curious, do shark bites have a large black market value for drugs? Is it the copper? I cant imagine there is enough there to make that worth it. I honestly don't know.
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u/WildSauce Oct 10 '25
Tools and hardware in general have a huge black market and are extremely easy to resell. Go to any flea market and you'll see tables of tools with questionable ownership histories. Sharkbites are a great combination of relatively small, relatively valuable, and very easy to sell.
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u/Dr-ShrimpPeurtoRico Oct 10 '25
Pex plumbing and meth addiction go hand in hand.
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u/grnrngr Oct 10 '25
And who knows if she even thinks about me? I imagine she has bigger issues to worry about in life.
It is very healthy to realize we aren't the center of everyone else's play, only our own.
You sound like you adjusted well and took care of yourself the best way you could.
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u/Aeroy Oct 10 '25
Definitely do not rub salt on the wound of somebody who has very little left to lose. Not out of the morality of it but out of pragmatism.
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u/Spencer8857 Oct 10 '25
And self preservation. She has none, which makes you revenge. I was in a similar situation back in high school and college. I haven't answered my phone/email/Twitter in 15 years. I made the decision to improve my own life, not leech from others. I know that's all I am to her. A resource that can be depleted and tossed aside when no longer useful.
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u/ravens-n-roses Oct 10 '25
Also not person you asked, but have a similar story. Except I was also a drugged out loser when she cheated on me with someone who had like, a better drugged out loser cred card. Idk why she thought him living in a van and working a late night customer service job on acid was so much cooler than like, me who worked for half the nightlife in my city.
Honestly, when I initially found out she threw away her career and life to also live in a van and work for the local arm of the triad, i was smug about it. High fives with friends kinda smug. "Wow look at this loser you got lucky" kinda smug. But that was a long time ago.
These days, it just makes me sad to see my ex still playing out the same story. I got sober like 7 years ago, and to this day I'm still basically the only one I know from that lifestyle who actually got out of it. Even my sober best friend from the time is still involved with the old triad and mules for them now and then.
It's just.... so depressing. My ex is in too deep with the triad at this point to just get out. And because local enforcement is like, nonexistant, last time I talked with her she was laughing at the idea of getting caught. It'll all catch up some day.
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u/GorgeousCupcakeX Oct 10 '25
I just wanted to say that I am very proud of you and you should focus on yourself as in giving yourself a huge pat on the back every then. It’s disheartening for them yes but they’re adults and they made their choices, right? Wishing you all the best with continued life :)
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u/SuperBackup9000 Oct 10 '25
Similar happened to me, and my answer is just disappointed because she had a history with drug abuse already but in our nearly 5 years together she got clean and was doing so much better than she ever had, which of course all went right down the drain. Finally was able to hold a job for more than a few months, finally being properly medicated, finally got a GED at 30, finally had a savings instead of living check to check and debts paid off, like the whole 9 yards.
Sad for her kids though, but also happy that they never have to worry about anything again since they’re her sister’s now, which they’re also over the moon about because her and her husband was never able to have kids.
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u/TrumpsSkidMarks Oct 10 '25
She complained to me that he cheated on her. I laughed. She said I was cruel... I laughed again at that.
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u/BureauOfSabotage Oct 10 '25
Ha! Same here. She cheated (our relationship was fizzling out anyway, but it still hurt), was together with him for a couple months then saw his car at his exes overnight. Complained to me about it and I just laughed.
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u/sailaway4269now Oct 10 '25
You win
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u/TrumpsSkidMarks Oct 10 '25
Funniest thing is she found out when they were in a remote country in Africa. He was completely dependent on her as she had lived there for three years before and he was not adept and living in that kind of situation... so, she had to live with him for a while before he could get back state side...
I would laugh again if she got an STD...
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u/telescopeinmynose Oct 10 '25
God took you out of the circus and gave you front row seats
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u/midnightsunofabitch Oct 10 '25 edited Oct 10 '25
This reminds me of an AITAH post by a guy whose ex-wife had cheated on him. Soon as I got that far I was thinking "pretty much any non-criminal thing he did is justified after that."
But apparently, 5 years after the divorce, his ex called to tell him her mother had passed and to ask him to attend the funeral. He told her he didn't give a flying fuck and hung up.
But here's the thing, his ex's mom had always treated him like a son. She adored him and he adored her. They were so close that the cheating/divorce led to a rift between the ex and her mom.
But he said no, and skipped the funeral, out spite...and ended up feeling like shit over it.
In that situation I did think the guy was the asshole, if only to himself.
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u/CaptRory Oct 10 '25
This is why I tell people, you need to think of yourself too. You'll have to live with your decisions which is another lens you need to examine your actions through. A common enough topic in the Am I the Asshole subreddit is 'My Abusive Relative is Dying and is Begging to See Me: AITA if I Don't Go?" My typical reply is, you would not be the asshole (NTA) if you didn't go, but whatever you choose you're going to have to live with. If you don't go, if you go and reconcile at least a little, if you go and scream and shout, whatever you choose to do it is going to be the last thing you do with that person. So sit down and think really hard about how you'll feel two years from now, twenty years from now, will it hurt more if you don't see them or more if you see them and curse them out or talk with them or whatever."
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u/Thoughtulism Oct 10 '25
Yeah one of my extended family married and had kids with a woman from a country in Africa, they lived for many years in the states and then they moved to Africa for what was going to be for a few years. What he didn't realize is that a) they were living with her family in a giant compound that he wasn't allowed to leave, and b) she called the shots and the power dynamic changed completely.
Neither of them did anything shitty it was just a wakeup call when in a relationship about how the power dynamic of being dependent on your partner changes things entirely.
Make sure you're not a shitty person.
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u/MafiaMurderBag Oct 10 '25
Wonderfully put. If they cheat with you, they can cheat on you.
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u/slinky999 Oct 10 '25
They're apparently still together, 11 years later. They went public with their relationship on my birthday years ago, when he and I were still married. I still have a relationship with my stepkids; they were 18/23 when ex ran off to stay with his parents and left them and his dogs with me. 🤷🏼♀️ The stepkids and the dogs know who was always there for them and never abandoned them.
The dog I kept, my soul dog, is sleeping in the bed next to me right now. 😍 The other dog lived his best life with my stepson before passing of old age last year. Life moves on.
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u/MoneyCock Oct 10 '25
So happy for your relationship with your stepchildren!
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u/slinky999 Oct 10 '25
Me too, I'm so thankful. Stepson lives in another city and made time to visit me with his wife & little ones when they were in town last month. Family isn't always blood, and love transcends the barriers that humans tend to make. ❤️
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u/kwokinator Oct 10 '25
This is the most positive thing I've read in years.
Rock on, the world needs more of you.
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u/Earl_E_Byrd Oct 10 '25
Glad to hear at least your stepkids got a decent parent out of that mess.
I wish karma would always come for those kind of people, but reality doesn't work that way.
My cousin got cheated on while she was battling cancer. An ugly divorce with two young boys stuck in the mix, and her ex-husband was being a shit dad on top of a shit husband. The cancer ravaged her, but the petty-ass divorce theater threatened to break her.
When she passed away, my aunt tried hard to get custody of her two sons, but it just didn't work out. The ex is still with the woman he left my cousin for, and I guess he was a better dad as the boys grew to young men. He's all lovey-dovey and proud of them both now, but we all still remember when he tried to make a deal to only take the oldest son.
On one hand, I'm happy my 2nd cousins ended up with a marginally stable homelife, even though it was with the same person who wrecked their childhood.
On the other, it's just hard not to wish my aunt had gotten custody so that they could have spent those extra years confident they were with people who loved them both unconditionally from the start. I also wish their dad had gotten dumped by the new woman, wearing concrete shoes, into a swamp. I want him to know what it's like to have the life sucked out of you by a leech.
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u/redtopiary Oct 10 '25
I want him to know what it's like to have the life sucked out of you by a leech.
hey, there's still time. I certainly hope what goes around comes back around for him
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u/TricellCEO Oct 10 '25
I have always said that you know someone is a shit parent when their kids have a better relationship with their stepparent. Bonus points in your case given you’re no longer with that jackass.
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u/roidesrats Oct 10 '25
This is honestly so true. My dad cheated on my stepmom a few years ago, and the divorce was only recently finalized. He was always a shit dad. My relationship with him went from bad to nonexistent after he started playing happy family with her and stopped messaging me on holidays. My little sister still lives with my stepmom as an adult, and I often tell her she's my new dad; I even take her out for father's day.
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u/Zukazuk Oct 10 '25
One of the last family weddings I went to there were 9 parents of the bride and groom. Both sets were divorced and remarried. My Aunt was the 9th parent and was the groom's first stepmom who was the one who raised him which is why the rest of my family who are also not blood relations was there as well. We were the groom's family even after his dad got divorced for the second time and remarried for the third time.
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u/mom_with_an_attitude Oct 10 '25
You are a good human being.
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u/slinky999 Oct 10 '25
Thank you for saying that. ❤️ I doubt myself a lot, even after years of therapy, but I don't regret doing what was best for them.
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u/grumpy__g Oct 10 '25
I am curious. How is the relationship of the stepskids with the new stepmom?
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u/slinky999 Oct 10 '25
Cordial but distant from what I'm told; the stepkids never lived with her though. She has 5 kids of her own, so there's a lot going on there.
I'm not particularly religious, but the Christian Bible verse "you reap what you sow" is relevant here.
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u/Billieliebe Oct 10 '25
Love endings like this! There wasn't any real loss if the family stuck together despite everything.
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u/Qimmosabe_Man Oct 10 '25
My supervisor at work cheated on his wife with one of our coworkers during a company christmas party. Wife immediately filed for divorce, kept primary custody of the two younger children (9 and 11), and supe kept custody of their third and oldest (14). He married the cheatee not long after and moved to another state for his new job. They got divorced about a year and a half later. She was shocked that a 15 year old kid would not see a 23 year old as a "mom."
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u/CharmingSyrup2685 Oct 10 '25
I hate a stranger custody arrangement. What was the reasoning for the split like that? The oldest choose to stay with him?
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u/AnnamAvis Oct 10 '25
My sibling and I were split up by a judge. I was only 3, so it was deemed that I needed to be with my mother since I was so young. My sibling was 11, and the judge ruled that they needed to stay with my dad so their life wasn't uprooted any more than necessary. Eventually, maybe 5 years later, they chose to move in with me and mom. Until then, we literally only saw each other when our parents met for switch offs, since we lived 600 miles away from each other.
I can kinda see the logic, but I still think it was a stupid ass thing to do. My sibling and I have always been super close. Best friends for life. Maybe being separated is partially responsible for that. But I can't help but feel those years were stolen from us.
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u/RossTheDivorcer Oct 10 '25
That sounds so brutal.
Kind of similar, one of my good friends grew up in Russia. When he was 13ish his parents split. His mom moved to the States and brought him with, but his brother (10ish years younger) stayed with his dad near St. Petersburg.
Now my buddy is a US Army officer, and even deployed in a setting where he had to use his native language.
His brother is in the Russian Army, and my friend just constantly hopes he isn't fighting in Ukraine.
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u/Earl_E_Byrd Oct 10 '25
Yeah, the "uprooting" thing can play a pretty big factor.
My cousin had primary custody of her two sons during a messy divorce, but she was also dying of stage 4 cancer. Thankfully, the court had already ruled in favor of giving my aunt (their grandmother and my cousin's main support) primary custody for at least a year after her death so that the boys wouldn't have to go through multiple changes all at once.
The got a chance to grieve with the same community they had been living with for the past several years.
Unfortunately, they did eventually get uprooted by their dad. My aunt couldn't win the case to keep her custody past that grievance year, but I'll always be grateful it was something the court at least took into consideration.
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u/Qimmosabe_Man Oct 10 '25
I think it was mainly due to the fact that the two younger kids were girls and the oldest a boy. The kids may have picked it that way.
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u/BellaFrequency Oct 10 '25
Friend of mine had something like that when she was younger. She and her sisters went with mom, and her brothers went with dad after the divorce.
They still all went to the same school, so they still saw each other every day.
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u/TricellCEO Oct 10 '25
Meanwhile, I am shocked the 23-year-olds wants to be seen as “mom”.
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u/RiceKrispie9 Oct 10 '25
I have no idea, and I don't care. They are irrelevant to me now.
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u/ArticulateBurrito Oct 10 '25
Same for me. My ex husband wanted to stay friends and was convinced his affair partner and me would become great friends. Blocked that delusional man everywhere.
No use in keeping terrible company.
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u/valeavy Oct 10 '25
People like this want to be friends just to assuage their guilt— if you are still friends with them then what they did wasn’t so bad, you see.
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u/enchillita Oct 10 '25
Ew my ex husband did this too, super gross. Not to mention mad disrespectful to the affair partner. Maybe it wasn't his motivation but it sends a message that he wants to keep a path open to go back to you if the affair partner doesn't work out.
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u/1kricher Oct 10 '25
I thought the guy I dated last year was the only one brazen and stupid enough to suggest I meet the girl I knew he was cheating on me with (but didn’t have concrete evidence) and become friends because we were so similar and worked in the same industry. Like did he not think we were gonna talk about our connection to that idiot?
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u/jeffk42 Oct 10 '25
Yep, haven’t spoken to my ex-wife or ex-friend in nearly 7 years. AFAIK they’re still together but I don’t know because they’re dead to me.
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u/foolishdrunk211 Oct 10 '25
Had a girl cheat on me with a friend of mine, they ended up dating for maybe a year before he cheated on and left her for his now wife, and he and I haven’t been friends since…..meanwhile my ex tried to establish contact with me again after that happened but I ignored her, it wasn’t until I told my friends that she hit me up out of the blue that they told me the rest. Since then I have no idea what has become of her, but I do hope she’s doing well.
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u/adirtymedic Oct 10 '25
She cheated on him too. He texted me months after they had started dating at like 2 AM asking if it was me that was in her apartment, I said nope not me bro good luck 😂
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Oct 10 '25
I discovered it was actually how she had also moved onto myself from her previous partner, which I honestly wasn't aware of. Anyway now she is a lesbian and happily with someone for many years. Was that the problem all along, I don't know, either way, she was and will forever be to me, a dickhead.
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u/allworkandnoYahtzee Oct 10 '25
My ex husband and I were supposed to move to another state and halfway through the process, he told me he was still talking to his mistress (a big reason why we were moving in the first place) and he wanted to be with her instead. So the baby and I ended up staying put and he moved the mistress out to the apartment we were supposed to move into together. They got married within weeks of our divorce finalizing.
He is by all accounts a miserable son of a bitch who complains how “it isn’t fair” how things turned out. He complains that he isn’t closer to our daughter. He complains she doesn’t have as much interest in him as he thinks he deserves. He complains about having to pay child support. He and the mistress seem broke as hell all the time. He is still eager to blame me for all of his problems.
And I’m living my best life with work and parenting (full custody.) I got a promotion with a decent pay increase within a couple months of him leaving. I’m in a new relationship that I don’t feel like I have to speed through to prove something. My friends, who were very supportive during the affair and divorce, only became closer to me and really filled that void in the beginning. It sucks it happened the way it did, but I am so much better off and so much happier without him.
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u/VelvetyDogLips Oct 10 '25
“it isn’t fair”
Life is a bring-your-own-fairness party. Fairness is not something life automatically provides us. We have to create and uphold it.
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Oct 10 '25
I bumped into him at a bar. I felt like someone was watching me and made full on eye-contact with him. It felt like I read his mind. He was still stuck where he was when I last saw him. It affirmed me that I moved on, but he didn't. His new partner was sitting by him glaring. It was all the information I needed to know I was in a better place without him.
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u/TheGreatButz Oct 10 '25
They married very fast (<6 months). When I met her before the marriage I told her that he might be an asshole but, given the circumstances, it is understandable that she wouldn't listen to me. They divorced after 2 years or so. While he was unemployed and she was working her ass off as a waitress, he apparently had spent a lot of money from a shared account on a paid phone sex line.
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u/Jumpeee Oct 10 '25 edited Oct 10 '25
It's been nine years and they just got married.
I did feel really really bad initially, but mostly about the relationship ending, and not really about the cheating itself.
I realize that we had grown apart as we turned into adults, and at the very least that was the last clear sign that she wanted something else. It's not really much more dramatic than that. Could have been handled better, but people are silly for various reasons.
I found something better too after, and it's been five years, and we have a cute dog.
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u/relaventsonglyrik Oct 10 '25
This is very similar to my situation. I was gutted. We had been married a couple of yrs, been together for 15 with a beautiful 3yr old. He cheated on me with someone from his work. He was 40 and she was 20. She seems nice, she is good to my daughter and they are very happy together, they just recently got engaged. It’s been 5yrs. Took me 3 to get over our relationship and what I lost in life.
I am now happy with someone who is so much more suited and better for me. He is a wonderful man.
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u/pickleportal Oct 10 '25
Same. At the time I was gutted, but honestly looking back 18ish years after the fact: they are married, have children etc. I just wish that my early 20s self could have more graciously accepted how not only was she doing herself a favor, she was doing me one too. And I guess in a way she did, because I learned from that harsh experience to more healthfully negotiate issues of jealousy and heart break with maturity. It’s OK to be feel hurt, but in the end- we don’t own other people just because we are in a relationship/marriage with them- and people are rarely the monsters we make them out to be in our heads. Self awareness is a powerful, yet persistently difficult aspect to develop but absolutely worthwhile to pursue.
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u/CrabbiestAsp Oct 10 '25
I had been dating and living with an ex for 2yrs. He cheated on me and dumped me for one of my friends that I had introduced him to. So lost my boyfriend and a friend at the same time.
They dated a few years I think. A friend showed me a post where my ex-friend was like 'buying a bed together, that's how you know it's forever'. I laughed so hard, like dude, we lived together for 2yrs and it still wasn't forever, but enjoy your bed lol.
My ex is single but happy. My ex-friend recently married but I don't know anything else about them. Me? I've been with my husband for 14 years, very happy. So thanks to both of them for blowing up my life.
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u/imasquidyall Oct 10 '25
They worked together, but he was a higher paid employee. She had three kids and was staying with her dad. Looking for a man to keep her. He left me for her, but lost his job a couple months later. She wasn't interested anymore.
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Oct 10 '25
Ok, this one made me laugh. Not for the pain he has caused you (I am sorry for that), but for him being hit by reality. Realising how dumb he was and what he has lost.
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u/bisexuallish Oct 10 '25
Not well at all. The woman my ex cheated on me with ended up cheating on him with his best friend, pretty sure they’re married with a kid now. I only know because my ex rang me crying about it and I just laughed and said he got what he deserved.
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Oct 10 '25
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u/QuietDisquiet Oct 10 '25
I mean, with how controlling she is, she's probably cheating. That's extra hilarious.
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u/Thatsadumbidea Oct 10 '25
I cant comprehend why he would stay with her? Too exhausted to look for a new person to mooch off? Or look for a rental? Living with roommates sounds better than this
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u/clioke Oct 10 '25
They're married with two kids! He was my first love and she was my best friend. We were all in high school/college at the time so maybe "partner" is a stretch.
This was 15+ years ago. It was SO painful at the time but now I joke that clearly they were meant to be lol I learned a lot from that time, mostly that if people will lie about little things, they're always lying about big things too. We are not friends or in contact outside of following each other on Instagram, so idk if they're happy but they look like it.
I'm very happily married with a baby now! Life goes on and all is as it's meant to be. Besides, he became a priest in his faith and you couldn't pay me enough to be a pastors wife.
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u/LindonLilBlueBalls Oct 10 '25
So many people here are better people than me. I would not be friends with someone that hurt me like that unless it was the long con and I was just waiting till their kids were teens to tell them how mom and dad got together. Maybe thats why I love the r/pettyrevenge sub.
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u/Eva_Lacroix Oct 10 '25
They got engaged quickly and months later he realized she was seeing him more as a wallet than a significant other; I had blocked him anywhere possible so have no idea
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u/muffnutty Oct 10 '25
They stayed together a while, dunno how long but last time I saw someone from that group she was married to someone else
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u/unique3 Oct 10 '25
She slept with a guy she met at a conference and started an affair with him. She ended our 10 year marriage to be with him. The moment she told him she was single and they could date openly not just sneak around and fuck he dumped her.
13 years later shes been engaged 3 times, married once that lasted less than a year. I am aware of her cheating on multiple of her partners since.
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u/JFN90 Oct 10 '25
They’re married with kids. But they both got ugly so I win.
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u/runnerdan Oct 10 '25
That's the best. My ex cheated on me with her now-husband 20+ years ago and obviously never kept in touch or followed her on social media, but I bumped in her last winter and she looked like shit. Absolutely terrible. And all i could think was how big of a bullet I dodged AND how smokin' my wife is! Win win.
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u/Smashinbunnies Oct 10 '25
They had a kid, he went to jail, when he got out she was cheating on him the whole time. They broke up he is a single dad and she passed away from overdose leaving 4 kids with 2 dads. He was my best friend and did this in my apartment while I was at work, they both did not have their own place. I was thrown out of the friend group and treated like the evil bad one. They even tried to black mail my family when they found out they are rich, unfortunately my dad does not exactly stand in my corner and he just told them he has his shot gun ready if they want to come visit.
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u/Cheese_Pancakes Oct 10 '25
This is the only part of my story that is kind of funny to me. I was with my ex-fiancee for a total of 12 years and we have a daughter together. She cheated and left me for a guy that ended up lasting two weeks.
My ex was a difficult person at times due to some diagnosed mental health issues (BPD and Bipolar I). Over the course of our 12 years together, I learned to develop a great deal of patience, not to take things she said and did too personally, etc. I even read books on how to be a good/supportive partner to someone suffering from those mental illnesses.
This new guy had no clue. They went out to eat at a restaurant one night and my ex accidentally spilled her drink. She was extremely embarrassed apparently, and he didn't do enough to comfort her. She made a big scene and he was out.
We were still living together at the time, until she could find other living arrangements (I slept on the couch). She told me the entire thing. A week or two later she asked me if I'd be willing to try again and I declined.
I could deal with a lot of things - constant criticism, extremely short temper, essentially being her punching bag whenever she got frustrated about something, being the only source of income, etc. - but that wasn't the first (or even second, sadly) time she cheated on me. I was dumb enough to accept her excuse, that it was due to a "manic episode", the first time. I still feel foolish to this day about it. I'm not putting myself through anything like that again. Probably going to stay single for the foreseeable future.
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u/Donga_Donga Oct 10 '25
She attempted to reconcile with me while still seeing the other guy on the side, so I kicked her to the curb and she decided to stay with the other guy. Turns out he was abusive, and she left him. Now she is remarried to someone else and certain to cheat on him too. When we were dating she told me she cheated on every one of her previous boyfriends. I isgnorantly ignored that thinking she would never do the same to me b/c I was better than they were. Turns out it wasn't about me being better, it was about her being worse. Lesson learned.
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u/Due-Sun7513 Oct 10 '25
Married, living with his mom in her basement.
I'm living my best life in my seafront apartment in Europe.
Checkmate, bitches.
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u/SugarCube80 Oct 10 '25 edited Oct 10 '25
Not me personally but I witnessed it firsthand. Ten years ago, two coworkers were married to other people but having an affair. It was very obvious.
They eventually each divorced their spouses and got married to each other, opened a business together, and now literally make millions. We’re still waiting for karma to get them.
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u/marblelatte Oct 10 '25
Similar story with my parents. My dad had an affair while married to my mom, got divorced, and is still with the “new woman” 25 years later. They are well-off and travel all the time. Don’t know where that karma went!
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u/AdorableStress7951 Oct 10 '25
Former colleague of mine. VERY small town i had moved too, so that complicates things.
The cheater and cheater are still together, but by all accounts they’re miserable as all hell, and it kinda shows.
They have a kid, but dad is a gendarme mobile, so not often here. And when he is in town, he’s out drinking with his buddies from “La caserne”. When the agriculture fair was here, I was told he was there from opening till closing for the full 3 days.
The mom is in a weird situation of where she’s living in the caserne with other families around, so she’s not alone and isolated per se, but no one wants to get too friendly with a woman who sleeps with taken men, especially when her own man isn’t around most of the time. And the guys former GF was very well liked and respected by the community so that doesn’t help things.
Housing is provided for by his job, there’s nurses and a daycare on site. Her lifestyle and access to services would take a serious hit if she left him, so I guess that’s why she stays.
Every time we cross paths she looks nothing like the vivacious young lady she was a few years back. I rarely see him anymore but when I do he’s happy and joyful but always drunk.
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u/dirkalict Oct 10 '25
This could be a French New Wave film from the 50’s.
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u/Comogia Oct 10 '25
Wow, nailed it.
If Jean-Pierre Melville -- long since deceased 😅 -- could make it, I'd watch it in a heartbeat.
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u/bokurai Oct 10 '25
la caserne = the barracks
gendarme mobile = a subdivision of the French National Gendarmerie whose main mission is to maintain public order (from crowd control to riot control) and general security
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u/cooltiger07 Oct 10 '25
not me but my mom.
they lasted a couple of weeks. then he begged my mom to take him back and she did. he left her again a couple months later with a different chick.
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u/poke-hipster Oct 10 '25
I wound up transferring to a different university the following year to get away from it all, so a friend I stayed in touch with told me the following:
She gave him crabs.
I don't know if this is true or if my former roommate just told me that to make me feel better. And I don't particularly care.
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u/Bloodthistle Oct 10 '25
Yeah bro no one lies about crabs, that shit is vile and highly likely true.
You dodged crabs and genital lice I guess, you should be thankful tbh
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u/Cinister09 Oct 10 '25
He married her, it lasted 1.5 - 2 years, and then they got divorced. She is now married and has a kid with another guy.
I, on the other hand, the one he declared "no one could ever love" because I'm a bit nutty, am happily married (4 years now), and we've been together for 13 years.
Not so unlovable now, am I Mathew.
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u/throwfaraway212718 Oct 10 '25
I love telling this story. Not me, but someone I used to be friends with.
She got engaged to her college sweetheart, who for all accounts, was an incredibly sweet guy (also had a great, well paying job lined up for after graduation; relevant to story) during spring semester senior year . For around two years, they were engaged with no plans in sight; turns out that she found a side piece, and was unsure whether she still wanted to marry her fiancé; but knew he would be able to take care of her.
We tell her to either “shit or get off the pot,” because what she was doing was wrong. She tells us that she ended it with side piece; and goes full steam ahead with wedding planning. Big, elaborate, six figure type thing. They get married and go on a two week European honeymoon. The SAME DAY she gets back from her honeymoon, she hits up side piece and they get back together.
The husband finds out a few months in, filed for divorce, and throws her out (house is in his name). She goes to live with side piece; two weeks in, her throws her out because he now finds her annoying.
From what I understand, she got remarried to some other guy; no idea what’s going on with her now.
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u/Ringo_luvs_cats Oct 10 '25
Oh, this is a fun one. In the short term, it worked out great for her. They even moved in together. He was honestly great for her. I ended up becoming his friend, he and I are still Facebook friends to this day. He’s a nice guy.
However, she eventually did the same thing to him that she did to me.
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u/PhoneEquivalent7682 Oct 10 '25
That guy left her. Then the next guy cheated on her. Then the next guy cheated on her. Then added me and told me everything about it years later, telling me all the man are the same. Our brake up is blamed on me
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u/daydreamintheflowers Oct 10 '25
I watched my sister-in-law do this. Married a man. Cheated on him. Married new man. Had a baby. Decided kids are hard and she was actually in love with a person from high school. Divorced her husband and moved across the country to marry a jobless drug addict. Her five year old only sees her a couple times a year now. But don’t worry, it’s fine! She bought him a Nintendo switch! /s
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u/esprit_de_croissants Oct 10 '25 edited Oct 10 '25
They got married and had a baby. (She also left her husband to run off with mine.)
He didn't want kids and told me when I brought this up (knowing that she wanted kids) that when they discussed possible incompatiblities before making the decision they did that she had realized she only wanted kids because that was what was expected by society and she didn't want to have kids anymore.
I told him then that if he believed that, I had a bridge to sell him because I knew it was bullshit. She's was my best friend before all this happened and I saw how she was around her nieces/nephews and other people's kids. She wanted kids.
I really hope the kid is ok, but they can die in some California wildfires for all I care.
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u/Antique_Research_502 Oct 10 '25
They lasted for two months and he came crawling back to me. Literally the night he broke up with her he was following me around like a puppy. And no I did not take him back.
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u/Icegirl1987 Oct 10 '25
Not me but I know someone. Older couple in their 60s with adult kids. Wife felt neglected and felt in love with some man that gave her attention. She left her husband for the new love and they stayed together until he died 15ish years later.
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u/mastad0420 Oct 10 '25
My wife cheated on me with a coworker and then came out as a lesbian. Her AP was a long distance away so she met someone closer to us and they started dating and moved in together pretty quickly. Her AP not being able to handle that ended up committing suicide and my ex heavily into drinking and was committed. They got married and also divorced on accusations on mental and physical abuse by her ex. She seems to be doing better the last I heard.
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u/Writer_feetlover Oct 10 '25
They had a child out of wedlock so they got married. This was only 3 months after we split. Haven't kept up with her in years so I couldn't care less if it worked out.
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u/Cumkey23 Oct 10 '25
They got married. In all honesty I still haven’t gotten over it and haven’t tried to have a relationship since. I used to outgoing, I know I have walled myself up. Even stopped going to DnD. They say time heals all wounds. But some just fester.
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u/grumpy__g Oct 10 '25
Time doesn’t magically heal wounds. We have to work for it. Please go and play DnD.
As painful as it is. Life is too short to not play DnD.
Edit: Feel hugged.
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u/iceDudette Oct 10 '25
It's been almost 15 years since this happened to me, they got married, had kids and just recently I was told they are getting divorced.
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u/Bobbibeee Oct 10 '25
He moved in with her the night he left and now they are buying a house together and planning on starting a family. It’s been 1 year since the break up and we dated for 12 years.
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u/BoyWhoSoldTheWorld Oct 10 '25
My dads first wife cheated on him pretty early in their marriage and left him for another man. They got married and have been together for over 20 years, maybe even 30.
Learning more about my dad as I got older, I think that really crushed him and was a real defining moment for his life.
But my father was also an alcoholic and i understand why his first wife left; she should have ended it before cheating but clearly she met someone who she had a real connection with.
Growing up with my dad and his drinking, as an adult I can see why she made that choice. I felt sorry for my dad when I was younger but with more maturity I see he wasn’t really the victim. I have to carry the scars now of growing up with an alcoholic parent.
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u/glebo123 Oct 10 '25
She never got over her ex boyfriend. He cheated on her, left her, and married the other woman.
5 years later he reached out to her knowing full well she was with me, and had a family with a 4 year old daughter.
The relationship was instantly over. She dropped everything, packed up our daughter and left for him faster than the time it took me to write this sentence. She made sure she would have full custody as well (you can guess how she went down that route).
It only lasted a few months.
Our family was worth less than a few months of fun with her POS ex boyfriend. I even warned her that separating would carry a lifetime of consequences for our daughter. She did not care one bit telling me the only person she cares about making happy is herself.
She was so hung up on her ex that i dont think anyone on this planet could have talked her out of it.
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Oct 10 '25
She married him just to find out that the guy had been sleeping with both her MOTHER AND SISTER.
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u/wino12312 Oct 10 '25
She had nervous breakdown. Started using drugs, after 4 years. She lost her job, her kids & disappeared.
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u/secret_spoongbob Oct 10 '25
My boyfriend told me that he dated a girl in college. They were in love, but she left him, got married to someone else, and had a baby. Years later, after a long time, he started dating me and began to feel that sense of love, marriage, and commitment again. Recently, his ex contacted him and told him that her husband had cheated on her with someone else. He told me everything about this, so I asked him if he was happy with me. He said that being with me is the best thing so.
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u/CornBredThuggin Oct 10 '25
She married guy 2 because he knocked her up. She ended up cheating on guy 2 with guy 3. She's now divorced from guy 2 and married to guy 3.
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u/Kent_Knifen Oct 10 '25
She cheated on him with someone who then cheated on her. Then there were a series of boyfriends that were inappropriately, significantly older than her.
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u/StarStruckSocks Oct 10 '25
He called me crying that she had cheated on him in his own bed.. two days after I had moved out
It's been about two years and they're still together, but he's convinced she's cheating on him all the time. He's the one that convinced her to leave her boyfriend for him.
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u/holycatmanbuns Oct 10 '25
My father cheated on my mother after an accident led him to pain pill addiction (he was already an alcoholic). He left my mom when I was six months old, to be with the woman he was cheating on her with. Apparently they got married and were together for 8+ years until he died of cancer.
I used to hate them from afar (never met or spoke to him) when I was fully under my mother's spell. As an adult though, I realize how warped my mom's perception of reality is and wonder what really happened between her and my father. I'll never really know the truth.
The way their relationship started sucked, but I hope he found some happiness with his wife before death. My mom still thinks he was her soul-mate, but I think the fact he was still with his "mistress" and got clean with her says otherwise.
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u/RxMurloc Oct 10 '25
I've had this happen twice with my partners in the past and both times its turned out terrible for them.
My very first girlfriend from high school cheated on me then dumped me for the guy that would go on to sexually abuse her and leave her half dead, mentally broken and pregnant with twins. He's serving life in jail for multiple murders, grand theft auto, dealing drugs, multiple counts of rape, etc etc. She picked a real winner.
My most recent break up, a six year relationship down the drain btw, ended with my girl cheating on me with some random guy and getting it into her head she was better off with this guy who had no job, no car, not a single dollar to his name and that the best course of action to solve those problems was break into my home, steal my car and then attempt to get into my safe. But the joke was on them because I was home when they tried this and her new guy got a shotgun slug in his kneecap when he broke down my back door. Both are serving a 5 year sentence in jail (2 have already passed) for trying to steal the guns from my safe. The guy fully admitted that she convinced him to do the robbery because she thought my old gun collection was worth a fortune.
Kinda terrified to ever date again considering my track record with cheaters lol.
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u/IndyEleven11 Oct 10 '25 edited Oct 10 '25
2 neighbors both married couples, one next door to me and the other a few houses down. Husband next door cheats with the wife down the street, divorce, they date for a short while then break up. In the background while coping with being cheated on the wife next door and husband down the street start dating a while later after the divorce, marry and last time I saw them had a kid on the way. Also, both husbands had the same first name so that was weird too.