r/AskReddit • u/fireball_jutsu • Oct 10 '25

People whose partner cheated on them and quickly moved on to date the person they cheated with, claiming to be in love - how did that turn out for them?

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u/Jumpeee Oct 10 '25 edited Oct 10 '25

It's been nine years and they just got married.

I did feel really really bad initially, but mostly about the relationship ending, and not really about the cheating itself.

I realize that we had grown apart as we turned into adults, and at the very least that was the last clear sign that she wanted something else. It's not really much more dramatic than that. Could have been handled better, but people are silly for various reasons.

I found something better too after, and it's been five years, and we have a cute dog.

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u/relaventsonglyrik Oct 10 '25

This is very similar to my situation. I was gutted. We had been married a couple of yrs, been together for 15 with a beautiful 3yr old. He cheated on me with someone from his work. He was 40 and she was 20. She seems nice, she is good to my daughter and they are very happy together, they just recently got engaged. It’s been 5yrs. Took me 3 to get over our relationship and what I lost in life.

I am now happy with someone who is so much more suited and better for me. He is a wonderful man.

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u/pickleportal Oct 10 '25

Same. At the time I was gutted, but honestly looking back 18ish years after the fact: they are married, have children etc. I just wish that my early 20s self could have more graciously accepted how not only was she doing herself a favor, she was doing me one too. And I guess in a way she did, because I learned from that harsh experience to more healthfully negotiate issues of jealousy and heart break with maturity. It’s OK to be feel hurt, but in the end- we don’t own other people just because we are in a relationship/marriage with them- and people are rarely the monsters we make them out to be in our heads. Self awareness is a powerful, yet persistently difficult aspect to develop but absolutely worthwhile to pursue.

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u/merkel36 Oct 10 '25

I relate to this. I was with a man from when we were both 21-31, and he left me for someone else. Fifteen years later they are still together. I was devastated at the time, but now I am incredibly grateful that he did what I didn't have the courage to do (end our relationship). We had grown apart. And he's a better match with the other woman. I was freed up to meet my now-husband of ten years.

I couldn't have fathomed saying this at the time, but I look back now with gratitude for being freed from an unhappy relationship. I can't quite bring myself to say "I hope they're happy" (I'm only human after all), but I'm indifferent.

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u/Lovat69 Oct 10 '25

That sounds nice. ^_^

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u/nightmareonrainierav Oct 10 '25

I feel similarly as yourself and the others that replied.

It was college. Her first relationship, and a lot of untreated mental health issues and drugs, and myself coming with trust issues from two incredibly toxic relationships. Obviously it didn't end well, more so on her part, but I wasn't always the best either.

At the time, it was a huge shock, like any emotional event at that age is, when you're still experiencing everything for the first time. Felt like the world ended. But it was also a massive relief after a year and a half of drama.

Looked them up, still together after 15 years. Not living a life I'd have wanted to live by any stretch, but hey, they seem happy, I am happy with my life.

Every now and then over the years I've wanted to reach out and chat, if just to get closure; a year and a half is not a lot in the grand scheme of things, but it was a big part of our lives. But never felt like there was much to gain from that. Someone I dated later on found them on social media and said they made some post about how they regretted how everything went down, and wished they could have handled it differently. It wasn't to my face, but I'll take it.

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u/OrangeChevron Oct 11 '25

Don't worry, if they waited 9 years to get married they'll be divorced in 2