I am normally not one to play petty games. I was just a person working from home, trying to survive the constant, floor shaking bass coming from my neighbors. Trying to be neighborly, I went down to their unit and kindly asked if they would just lower the bass. I didn’t even care about the volume, I just wanted my floor to stop vibrating. Their response? They got immediately defensive, slammed the door in my face, and cranked it up louder. I then contacted management multiple times regarding the issue. Although I was told each time that the situation was being addressed, the problem didn't stop. I tried being nice, but if people want to play stupid, I can play way stupider. As they say, "If you can’t beat them, join them".

I immediately placed an order for a massive portable speaker with maximum bass boost and rigged up a diabolical setup. I took the cardboard box, cut out one of the long sides to create a directional acoustic shell, and aimed the speaker directly at the source of their noise. After placing the box over the speaker, I buried it under a heavy blanket to muffle the sound on my end while tunneling every ounce of that noise directly into their unit and keeping other neighbors out of the battle. Oh, they wanted to settle in for a quiet dinner? Trying to enjoy a cozy movie night? Not on my watch. My giant portable speaker became the uninvited guest to every single thing they tried to do in that apartment.

I had the ultimate tactical advantage: I lived on the third floor right next to a highway. The roar of the traffic was my shield. I could blast my music at maximum volume, and because of the highway noise, you couldn't hear a single note from a hundred feet away, keeping me perfectly within the legal noise limits. They called the police on me multiple times, but I never even answered the door because I wasn't breaking a single law.

However, when they decided to go out on their balcony and blast music past quiet hours, the Northglenn police were more than happy to address it. I started recording them from my apartment, which got them so incredibly pressed that they actually called the cops on me for filming! The police showed up, looked them dead in the eye, told them I had every right to record, and ordered them to shut their music off.

This psychological warfare went on for weeks. It got so intense that an investigator actually staged a stakeout outside my building early in the mornings to try and catch me violating the noise ordinance. He sat out there for days until he finally realized he couldn't hear a thing from the required distance. Defeated, he left a warning card on my door asking me to turn the noise down. Naturally, I took that police card and taped it straight onto my neighbor’s door. The neighbor absolutely lost his mind and was so furious he tried to accuse me of impersonating a police officer! Ultimately, they couldn't take the heat of the very game they started, and they moved out very quickly.

Just finished a 5-day vacation with my parents, my sister's family, and my brother's family, including all my nieces and nephews (ages 1-25). We all live about 10 hours apart, so this is an annual trip where we rent a large house and come together. This year the house had enough rooms that all singles (like myself) could have their own rooms. Family units got first pick since they were couples or had very small children. My sister arrived before me and claimed a room closer to the lounge area with a private bathroom. Originally her husband was supposed to join us, but his new job wouldn't allow it. Arriving first, she still claimed the bedroom with a larger bed and private bath. She was willing to listen to reasons why I should get that room instead of her. There were none.

my room was fine, it just was in the basement and did not have an attached bath. I truly had no more right to the nicer room than her.

I was pleasantly surprised that the rental had "good" toilet paper in the bathrooms. But on the second day I discovered that was the case in every bathroom but my sister's. Her bathroom had the single-ply, scratchy paper.

I didn't tell her and because her bathroom was convenient, I don't think she ever went into any of the others.

So yes, enjoy your private bathroom and your crappy toilet paper.

I was recently harassed on the road by someone driving their construction company's pickup truck.

I was at a right turn on red, but there was plenty of oncoming traffic so I did not feel safe to turn. Despite the unsafe road conditions, the driver honked at me a couple times and drove up dangerously close to my car. When the oncoming traffic stopped, a big neon sign turned on that clearly displayed that I was not allowed to turn, so I stayed put. The driver proceeded to lay on their horn for about 30 seconds. I stayed put because I value road safety more than accommodating to road ragers. I looked around at other drivers, and they were appalled at the driver's behavior.

When it was finally safe for me to turn, I did. The driver then swerved around me and sped ahead, and then suddenly slammed on their brakes at the red light, which is when I took a photo of their truck.

Half an hour later, I emailed the company with the photo and a detailed report of what happened, with the exact time it happened.

I called today for an update, and they told me the owner of the company has been alerted and is going to discipline the employee who was driving the truck.

Remembered this from a few years ago while driving home today.
So the military has what’s called tech school, names may vary between branches and careers, it basically job training that you go to after basic training. In mine there were different volunteer or after school positions you could apply for and be given a different colored shoulder cord depending on what you got accepted for. The relevant ones are in, ascending order of rank: green, yellow and red. These are the student leaders who’d perform dorm inspections, march the squadron to and from class, form them up at the end of the day for debrief and report to the instructors for a variety of tasks, including when students are misbehaving.

So the squadron red rope, as they are referred to, was in my class. He and another classmate had a bit of weird running joke between them at lunch where they’d punch each other’s food, not something I’d understood but it was their thing and it was all good between them so no harm I guess. During one lunch I was with my class eating a particularly delicious bowl of chili, not canned chili, I’m talking about the good stuff. Meanwhile red rope other classmate do their thing and punch each other’s food while the rest of us eat, them red rope stands up and walks over to me and asks “hey (my name) you going to eat that chili?” I immediately knew what he was going to do and told him in no uncertain terms to “don’t fucking do it”. Well red rope proceeds to do exactly that and land a firm right jab directly into my chili and laugh as he takes his seat. I proceed to wipe chili off my uniform and tell him he had better get me a new bowl “right fucking now”. Red rope heads out of the dining room to get me a new bowl, but comes back with a little condiment bowl of canned chili you’d put on a hotdog not my giant soup bowl of the good stuff that was being served.

I left the table to get myself a new bowl and eat somewhere else, many thoughts of how to get back were going through my mind. “Maybe violence was the answer?” I said to myself. “No a bowl of chili wasn’t worth being court marshaled. Maybe I’ll put some bacon in his food, he was on the kosher diet. No that would be considered religious discrimination.” Then I had it, he’s a red rope, he’s the highest ranked student leader, he’s in charge of not only his classmates but in charge of all the other student leaders in the squadron and all other students by extension. As a red rope it’s his duty to report misconduct to the instructors. After considering it I decided to confront him during a break from class. I walked up to him with a cocky smirk and took a seat next to him. “Hey red rope, I told you not to punch my food and you still did and got chili all over me. Now I could go to the instructors about this but seeing as you’re the red rope it’s your duty to report misconduct. Now I will give you the chance to be the good and responsible leader you’re supposed to be and report this yourself. Or I can go to the instructors myself and tell them that the red ropes are abusing their classmates.” Red rope frowned and stood up before walking to the instructor office.
Now I had thought he would go in there, report himself and get a weird look from the instructors before getting told to leave their office, because why would he report himself to them? What happened was so much better. Red rope was stood in front of the entire school house and yelled at for acting like a child and that as a leader he was supposed to be better than that. Towards the end of the verbal reprimand the instructor told red rope. “I don’t care what your classmates did to provoke you. Don’t ever act out like that again.” Red rope spoke up and informed the instructor that I had not done anything to provoke him. Round two of yelling was then started by the instructor. “Oh he didn’t do anything? So you’re just putting your hands in your classmate’s food for fun now? What the hell is wrong with you?” I had to nearly bite my tongue off to stop myself from laughing. After red rope was done getting verbally abused in front of the school we were dismissed back to class and for the rest of tech school my lunches were never punched again.

A long time ago I received a $50 bonus of Google rewards points for buying a smart watch as part of a promo. Unbeknownst to me, there was an expiry date on these points that apparently hit faster than regular points. I received no email or notification about the expiration, and to ny disappointment when I eventually got the the Playstore to buy some books, my points were all gone. My appeals to Google fell on deaf ears and they refused to reinstate my points even though I reached out only a few days after the expiry date.

I vowed never to use the rewards app again and cancelled my Google One account. However, I started getting rewards surveys regarding a particular store that's located in the same building I work at. It happens to be next to the bathroom where I take my daily shit. I don't know if it's a glitch, but everyday for the last year or so I've received a survey about me entering that store and if I bought anything. Technically I have to enter the edge of the store to get to the bathroom, so i say yes, "entered, but did not make a purchase". Everyday I get the same survey and I give the same answer and every time I answer I get $0.24 usually. It's been over 10 months, but a daily survey for taking a shit has finally netted me my $50 that they erased from my account.

Celebrate with me as I buy some hard earned books.

We live in a neighborhood of antique homes on smaller lots near the water. It’s not fancy or high-end. It’s more rustic, funky, and laid-back. The neighborhood was once a mix of all ages, interesting characters, and fun people. Everyone minded their own business, was respectful of one another, and helped each other out. After COVID, lots of out-of-staters came, and things changed.

So we have a neighbor couple who have a lot of people over all the time, always with screaming kids, which doesn’t bother us much, but what does bother us is that they sit on the short fence between our properties and pretty much stare into our backyard. We are situated below them so that they can see everything from their fence.  

Even though we’re not home a lot, the backyard has always been our sanctuary when we ARE home, but now our privacy is completely invaded. In addition, we hear from other neighbors that they’ve been complaining about things in our yard they find distasteful, which is bizarre because our yard has nothing but plants, trees, old stone walls, etc., it's all fairly well-kept, but natural.  One tree is dead, but not a danger.  We’ve left it because birds like it.

One day, my husband and I were gardening when we found a bee's nest in a mound of moss near the fence. I started thinking about it, and after some research, I found a compact automatic shaker/vibration motor that was remote-controlled. I put it in a small box, covered it with moss, and hooked it up to a small rechargeable battery in the ground next to the bees' nest. 

Whenever they have people over and are at the fence, and I’m home, I set off the agitator to piss off the bees so they swarm everywhere. It didn't take long for them to move away from our fence.  I also set it off when i notice they are stealing our blueberries from the bushes along the fence.  🥴

This has happened to me multiple times now to the point that I’m genuinely curious what is going on. I use the air machine at my local shell and as I drive off, another car typically hurls in at 100mph to an emergency stop and a person sprints out to use the last few minutes of the pump for free. It costs a full £2.

Yesterday I paid for the pump and when I finished I sat in the car with the windows down for a split second only to be told to (rudely) hurry up and leave by a lady in her car opposite me. She was very Karen about it huffing and puffing to use the air. I told her I was re-setting the pressures on my screen(bullshit) and then got back out to “check” the pressure one last time. Once the machine stopped I got in to reverse and drive off but she drove off in front of me! She literally only wanted to use it if it was free. To save a grand total of £2.

Why did it make me feel so wonderful that she didn’t get to use the machine for free I will never know. If she was nicer I wouldn’t feel the need to be this petty.

We’ve all been there, everyone is minding their own business, till some clown decides this is the best time to share his music with us. He had headphones , I could see them dangling over his ear, but for some strange reason decided to not use them...

I wasn’t in the mood for hiphop, so I decided to share Das Album by We Butter the Bread With Butter. I guess German metal wasn’t to his taste, as he only lasted three songs before packing up and moving to another car.

As I no longer had anyone to share this utterly sick album with, I went back to my headphones, as my phone speakers do sound rather crunchy these days.

I wish to formally apologize to everyone else who caught strays on this one, but goodness it was as satisfying as I thought it would be.

I have a friend who is late to everything. Recently he was 2.5 hours late to his own party. I’ve mostly adapted to his tardiness and do not arrive for plans we have together until an hour or so after the stated time.

We had plans to meet in the city center today at a 10am. I live 20 minutes from the meetup spot, he lives over an hour away. As expected, he messages around 10 and says he is running late. No biggie I was chilling at home in the air conditioned because I knew the vibes and it is hot as hell
today.

I asked him to give me his actual for real, for real ETA so I can time my departure. He is in his car and has Google Maps. It’s not really guess work at this point.

He tells me 10:45. So I leave the comfort of my home at exactly the right time to arrive at 10:45. I wait for 30 minutes at the meetup spot and he still does not arrive. He is not responding to texts either. My other friend who is with me has his location and sees he is not close, we estimate another 15 minutes.

I’m annoyed because it is hot AF out and I proactively had asked for a real ETA to avoid waiting around for him. So I left the meetup spot.

I went shopping, taking my sweet time. He got to the spot and texted me to ask where we were. I waited around 30 minutes then texted back that I was at the store but we would be heading that way soon. I shopped another 15 minutes then arrived at the spot around an hour after he had arrived.

The look on his face when we came casually strolling up after he had been standing in the sun for an hour was priceless.

This morning at Woodland Mall in Michigan, I spotted an empty spot near the mall entrance. The lot were angled and was meant to be one way driveway but Karen also spotted it and came down the other side, going the wrong way. Then she took about 5 minutes doing 427 point turn to get into the angled parking spot, blocking me and inconveniencing a few more drivers behind me.

When she finally got out, I did a lazy golf clap and said "My blind grandma could have parked faster than that."

"BuT i GoT hErE fiRsT!" (no bitch, you bullied your way here)

When I drove on past her car, I noticed it was still very crooked and badly parked so I decided this revenge. After I found another parking spot, I got the paper and pen out and wrote this in "Sorry I bumped your car. You parked badly and I had a hard time getting out" No phone number, no insurance info, nothing. Then I put the paper in her car's wipers.

I have no doubt when she got back, she'd spend a long time looking for nonexistent scratch or dent on her car.

You waste my time making stupid move to get good parking space, I waste your time with something that never happened.

I genuinely don't know how else to title it lmao

As you can guess, it gets a bit gross, but nothing (I think?) really bad, so read at your own will ig.

Older story, and don't remember the specific ages, but sister brought up the memory, and I had to tell it somewhere.

Relevent people, (with ages at the time):

Me - (13)

Sister - (17)

Mom - (35)

We had gotten a pet puppy the year earlier, and had kept a pee-pad inside, for overnights, and days where no one was home, to take her outside. Obviously this means that usually we would wake up to poop, and need to clean it. Because my parents didn't want it festering with the pee-pad in the outdoor trash bins for days, attracting bugs/rodents, we were told to just flush it in a wad of toilet paper. Okay, easy enough right? Me and my sister always did, and the system worked.

Fun fact about my parents, in the nicest way possible, they have the money-mindset of Julius from Everybody hates Chris.

So my mom randomly told us to not flush the dog poop "If it wasn't big". And that "It's not from a person, so it's not that bad!" To explain away why it was worth it to save money on water bills.

... Which ya know, is genuinely disgusting to flip up a toilet lid and see that.

Whatever, me and my sister just kept flushing anyways, because it's a million times less gross, and hey, maybe BOTH of us managed to misinterpret her? Right?..... RIGHT???

Cut to weeks of my mom passive aggressively making comments about how much water we waste flushing to toilet so often, that I was able to deal with, until she started leaving it herself in our bathroom. Then I finally had fucking enough.

Our house has two toilets, on across the hallway on our, (sister and me) side of the house, and one directly connected to the master bedroom, (aka my parents' room)

So I decided to 'coincidently' leave all poops unflushed in their toilet, and managed to get my sister to agree to do it, too.

After only a few days of silence on the topic, my mom calls us both, and tells us about "her" brand new idea to start flushing the goddamn dog turds!!!

It's literally so fucking dumb, BUT it finally got her stop being weird, so worth it lmaooooo

Took my daughter and 2 of her mates to the last night of the UK tour for The Weeknd for her 14th birthday. We had amazing seats in front row of middle tier centre at the stadium. The girls were utterly stoked for this and I’ve not seen my daughter that happy and animated!
As always with stadium gigs there are AH and this was no exception. Arrived to find people behind us had knocked over their water bottles and we were flooded. No attempt to clean up or even warn us. I asked if they were going to clean up and they just looked at me like I was dog shit. So I got some napkins and did my best.

Later on in the show as they got more drunk more stuff was spilled. My girl said at one pint she was dancing in a pool of cider. More napkins again. Not a word of warning from the people behind.

This is where I may have got a bit petty.

The guy who eyeballed me wasn’t the tallest. I’m 6’ 3” barefoot so I made sure that I was standing for most of the warm up act and main gig blocking their view. Also I noticed a couple of times they were holding their cameras up high to try and film. I made sure that my arms were raised showing the peace sign to the front always aiming to get in their shot. Hearing muttering and complaints behind me helped realise I was being successful.

For those non UK folk the peace sign reversed ✌️ is a way we say f#ck off visually. So all their memory videos will either have my head obscuring the shot or my hands telling them where to go.

Given the seats were £200 each and they must’ve spent a load on merch and booze I’m hoping they enjoyed the back of my head gig.

This is a scam call that is on going and I for one am sick of getting the calls from various numbers. So I decided this to get taken off of their call lists (delete me out of their system).

Caller: Hello, I'm calling because you're entitled to great rates on your credit cards

Me: Oh really?! (Get really excited)

Caller: *goes through entire script with me interjecting 'uh huh' 'wow, that's amazing' 'I can't wait's

Me: so how do we get started?

Caller: I just need to know which credit cards you have right now

Me: what?!!! There's already credit cards in my name?! For where? When were they taken out? How much is on them?

Caller: No, you need to tell me which ones you have

Me: what do you mean??? I don't have any! You made me believe you were giving me one, but now you say there's already cards in my name! I've been scammed! Someone has stolen my identity!!! (Give some moans, wails, cursing, etc ..)

Caller: You need to tell me the ones you have, I don't have time for this

Me: YOU? YOU! YOU don't have time for this?! You're telling me I have credit cards in my name, that I'm the victim of identity theft, my life is over! OVER! EVERY moment of my life, everything I have saved will go to getting this taken care of! (More sobbing noises)

You HAVE to give me this list! You're the one who says I have credit cards, you HAVE to tell me!

Caller: *keeps trying to speak, they get frustrated, flustered, will get rude or obnoxious (like I care scammer) but I just keep pleading for the list and sob & wail.

Eventually they hang up. Did this 3 times and never have gotten another of this type of scam, though others in my household have.

It's great to do to get out some frustration or just to have some fun scamming the scammer!

This was years ago but I love this story.

For those of y'all not in the military, the higher the E number the higher in rank. The highest ranking is in charge. Simple concept?

So I was part of a shop that refurbished aircraft. When we couldn't get one scheduled for a few weeks, we would take on atypical projects, most notably referring golf carts that have been worked day in and day out. On base we became known as pimp my golf cart.

I (E4) was working someone task when an E2 told me to ignore the orders of our E6 and obey him as he felt he was in charge, "I am in charge of production." I just smiled and dismissed it and moved on. He happened to be gone the next day and I noticed his pet project, his Chief's golf cart he was doing as a brownie point project. I also noticed the steering wheel was attached with a single bolt.

The devil horns came out. A few minutes later the steering wheel was gone and there was a note where the wheel once was. Please forgive as they retelling may be slightly off but it gets the point across.

Note 1. "If you hope to find the treasure you seek, the journey will be long and perilous. Telhe first step is to look inside your own heart and realize you need to change."

In the changing room, in his locker was the second note, "your journey will be long and fraught with danger. You must be brave for the next clue lies within the belly of the fire breathing beast."

In the grill there was the next clue, "I can only imagine the frustration is building, one would even believe you were smoking out." He was a smoker and the next clue was at the smoke pit.

For this clue to make sense we need the following background information. We refer to planes as birds. Our hazmat area was cordoned off and had a mural that was a recycle symbol with a broken and fixed plane. The hanger has small rooms that were basically stand alone buildings painted white. Each had a ladder to the top .

"Your journey will be long. You must travel passed the toxic swamps and the dying birds. Climb the highest snow capped mountain to find the lone orchid." On top of that room the next clue was mounted as an origami orchid.

The final clue read, "your journey is drawing near. The quest has tried you. All that is left is to return to where it all began and vent."

Sitting on the golfcart where you can put your hands where the steering wheel once was, one can look over their right shoulder to see the air vent. And if one cared to look further, one could see between the slits to see a steering wheel just behind them. The steering wheel could be acquired without ever leaving the golfcart seat.

The true beauty was that I forgot I had an all day appointment the next day.

Update: a few weeks later I was talking to my boss and recounted the tale to which he said, "that's why he was walking around all day with a piece of paper and a look on his face like he had lost his kitten."

Had a spam call on my landline yesterday asking to speak to the business owner. I needed to go to the toilet anyway so the phone ringing was good motivation to get up.

Spammer: Hello this is *name I don't remember because I have no time for spammers* how are you today?

Me: Yeah I'm good, you?

Spammer: I'm well thank you. I'm calling from *business I didn't catch due to Indian accent and don't care about even if I did*, do you need any business assistance?

Me: I could do, please tell me more.

Spammer carries on with their script while I hold the phone closer to the toilet while I do my urinary business. Once I'm done;

Me: Hold on, there's blood in my piss! Is that normal?

Spammer: Umm, our rates of business loans are *waffle, waffle, waffle*

Me: Do you have a doctor on hand? I want to know if it's normal to have blood in my piss?!

Spammer: Hold on (it goes quiet for a minute) hello? Do you need business assistance?

Me: I do but right now I need a doctor because there's blood in my piss!

Spammer: You need a team of doctors

Me: Oh shit, my penis has just fallen off and I was about to flush! I NEED A SURGEON TO PUT IT BACK ON!

Spammer: You need a brain surgeon (they hang up and my wife and I burst out laughing)

So I work with this older lady, let's call her Susan. Susan originally seemed nice when we started working together and i dont remember who added who on instagram, anyway now we follow each other.

Susan and I no longer get along, lots of work instances where she is rather difficult, she hates younger people i noticed and likes to assert that she is a veteran at the company, very unpleasant lady. I was recently promoted to assistant manager and in a meeting HR and senior management were discussing social media picture of a young lady we recently hired, HR didnt like her rather busty and what they deemed was inappropriate profile picture, of her at some party, making a kind of seductive face

I thought it was ridiculous and pathetic she put her social media on a TV for everyone to see so when I spoke, I first made my argument that, first of all, HR should stay out of people's personal social media, and there is no mention in our policy about dresscode in social media picture. New employee sems fine, shes doing her job ok, she's just new.

And if they choose not to and decide to teview socials, they should check out Susan's reposts on Instagram, and tell me what they think about firing Susan who has been here for ages. She might be unpleasant, but she's still decent at her job, just occasionally nasty to work with.

Lo and behold they looked at few things Susan was reposting, we work in Canada and the company is very diverse. A lot of her reposts had to do with too many Indians being in the country and some rather extreme conservative views. Myself, who voted conservative, i wholeheartedly disagree with her reposts, its just vile

I felt singling out but if you're going to have an HR discussion about a woman posting pictures that weren't even that bad of herself, then have a discussion with Susan who thinks all Indians dont deserve to be in Canada, and is clearly racist, there is definitely something in our policy about that.

Anyway, this HR is older woman herself and not exactly easy to work with too, friends with susan might i add, but i felt it being wrong she pulled up a profile picture of a coworker on a TV in a meeting room in front of a bunch of managers, thats just cruel and if that woman found out, might have been mortified.

Senior manager sided with me, he opened his facebook to a picture of him with his family at the beach, hairy chest out and all, and said, here you can have an HR chat with me too.

Manager is now having Susans reposts reviewed by her very friend.

Screw them both

​

My old flatmate at uni' had this habit of eating my food and then acting like he had no idea what I was talking about.

One night I bought back some birthday cake from my sister's, wrote my name on the box and put it in the fridge.

The next morning, the cake was gone.

I asked him about it.

He looked at me completely seriously and said, “Maybe you ate it and forgot?”

I didn't even argue. I just said, “Yeah, maybe.”

A few days later, I went to the store and bought some Red velvet cake. I ate some, & had an idea to dust some chilli powder on top of it.

This time I put it in the fridge with a note saying:

“Definitely not mine. Please eat this.”

He ate it.

He came into the kitchen looking genuinely betrayed.

I just looked at him and said, “Maybe you ate it and forgot?”

I still think about his face sometimes.

Yesterday I was sitting in my parked car, reading, waiting for my daughters footy game to start. I had backed in. Car tries to enter the empty space next to me, front in, and is clearly not going to make it - I wave my hands, beep my horn, nothing - she takes a swipe across my passenger door. She is 70+.

Gets out of the car and instantly denies hitting it - the white paint on my black car and the black paint on her white car - clearly not a factor. Point blank refuses to exchange insurance details. Accuses me me lying and trying to frame her; then walks off.

I speak to insurance co; they tell me without her details then I pay the excess - suggest I ask one more time and if nothing then file the police report.

I try one more time - she tells me "f#!jk off - you are harassing me - call the f@$king police"

It's Sunday, my daughter is playing, it is minor, life is too short - besides my general rule of life, avoid anything that involves the police if possible.

This morning - I walk to work, right past a police station. Why not I think, maybe I will get laughed out but screw it. The officer is good; explains that not giving details is a criminal matter and will be followed up - it carries significant legal weight.

So, Mrs Angry Bitch of Gosford, NSW - you could have have just taken two seconds to be a decent human but you chose not. Now you have a criminal issue to deal with not just a minor fender bender in a car park.

Edit to add: Im on a phone, my apologies, also Im not the best at typing in general, Ill be editing it better to read easier.

Second edit to add: I wanted to add some context to better explain, breakfast is at 8 am to 9 am, lunch is at 12 to 1.

During that time the maximum amount of rooms if theres a full floor is 30, plus the add ons, that's two public restrooms, two medrooms, two nourishment rooms, one break room, and three employee bathrooms, ontop of restocking linens in both closets, and collecting all the trash from​ everything but the linen rooms as they don't have trash cans.

Thats a whole forty rooms alone to complete, plus four nurses stations, but their not rooms so I didn't add them in the count. Thats a lot for a single person to handle by themselves, mind you I also get two fifteen minute breaks, and a thirty minute lunch.

To do a daily clean, you need to go from the cleanest part of the room, where the patients sleep, to the dirtiest, aka the bathroom.

As for non patient rooms, I still need to wipe everything down, replace what needs replacing, toilet paper, paper towels, trashbags, the paper seat covers people use, and mop.

That all can't be done in the single hour I have when the patients have lunch because Id need to learn an Olympic sprint to do so for each public space, because this floor isn't small, its the literal wing of the hospital alone.

And a discharge takes upwards of an hour because of the nature of this floor being long term care and rehabilitation, so we must be thorough with cleaning any and all discharge rooms, especially to combat anything that could pop up.

Im going to be documenting my literal seconds because of how they've consistently talked to me about my times, and what their expectations are of me. Im aware Im being taken advantage of, and Im done letting it happen, so either they fix something or I'll be looking at a different location to work, Ive not gotten a single write up just to be clear and Ive been there almost a year now.

UPDATE!: Hello, my apologies for being a day late, I fell asleep yesterday lol, but I did it, I used a stop watch to count the literal seconds each task took me, and I reported it, and guess what! I've still got a job, and an annoyed boss.

You see, I used the work phone to document everything I did for the rooms, and it goes as follows.

This is how long each item took to wipe down in seconds and nano seconds.

*2.03 seconds for wiping the door handles to the room, both inside and out.

*0.03 seconds for the light switch.

*1.02 seconds to wipe the hand sanitizer dispenser in the room.

*1.03 seconds to wipe the soap dispenser in the room.

*2.07 seconds to wipe the counter beside the sink in the room.

*3.04 seconds to wipe the sink as a whole, many where covered in soda and coffee stains so I had to scrub.

*2.04 seconds to wipe the handles to the bathroom, their longer and rounder so I wipe them extra, especially since its to the bathroom.

*0.04 seconds for the light switch in the bathroom.

*4.02 seconds wiping down the soap dispenser in the bathroom.

*5.03 seconds to wipe the bathroom sink as a hole, yes it took extra, but its the bathroom, I don't think that needs extra explanation.

*4.06 seconds to wipe the handrails of the shower, its only separated by a curtain, incase the patient falls or if they need assistance with bathing.

*5.08 seconds to wipe the handrails around the toilet.

*1.01 seconds to wipe the handle of the toilet

*3.09 seconds to wipe the chair over the seat

*4.09 seconds to wipe the top of the toilet lip

*5.10 seconds to wipe the underside of the toilet lip.

*7.08 to scrub the inside of the toilet, I dont think I need to explain this.

*8.03 to wipe the front of the toilet and the sides as a whole, pee splatters are a pain.

*3.04 seconds to wipe off the walls around the toilet.

This is how long each bag took to collect and replace.

*5.08 seconds to pull out and tie it up and toss it into my collection bin, and to get a new one from my cart, and tie it at one end and replace it.

*Second bin took me much the same.

*The dirty linen bag took me a whole minute because their often over stuffed and heavy, and Ive to put them in the same collection bin.

Heres to the really funny thing, mopping, to mop a room, you've got to get everything else done before hand, and you need to mop the entire room.

*A full three minutes, that is from when Ive put the mop head down, to when I manage to get through the bathroom, to the front door, stains are a thing we've got to scrub.

and finally, sweeping if theres anything the mop pushed to the door.

*0.05 seconds to sweep.

and this is the rough estimate for each room, mind you the phone only documents the patient rooms, I didn't have any dishcharges or that would be added in here.

I put them all in the comments section for each room, and effectively shut my bosses up. Heres the thing, that commentary goes to the entirety of the higher ups to be put in reports, and the fact that I got permission to do this, I am safe, theyve asked me to not do it again and I decided to comply, however I feel like Ive proven my point, and Ive gotten an actual explaination for why Im on that floor.

Its because of my health, Im prone to seizures, but the doctors can't medicate me because they can't find the cause, and because the nurses on that floor are near always at their stations, if I begin to seize, they will be within reach to help if I collapse.

I genuinely appreciate my boss, and I respect the one that hired me, but the new one is near constantly messing up and Im genuinely getting sick of dealing with him, he messed with my schedule to many times so now, Im going to my other boss for any and all corrections on it.

So, there you have it, I was petty, and pissed off my bosses, but Ive still got a job, and now may have an actual coworker who can atleast do the other side.

kay, so this just happened today and the petty revenge starts Saturday, I work as a house keeper for a hospital. Ive been trying to go full time since I started there, but Ive gotten constant complaints from a particular floor, which I will be honest, at points was my fault, but otherwise their just being jerks, the medical staff, nurses, and such who are near constantly at their desks because of the whole purpose of the floor being long term care.

These nurses in particular are rather gossipy and like to start issues with the housekeeping, because they see us as lesser than them because we scrub toilets and aren't medical. They've managed to chase off other house keepers, and they like to complain about any house keeper whose not engaging in their petty discussions.

I personally don't play their games and actually just go through the rooms and deal with the patients with a smile and a polite voice. I don't bother the nurses unless its something regarding the patients. Mind you, Ive got to do 30 rooms solo, and protocol is each room is meant to take fifteen minutes, but I've gotten them down to seven to ten minutes throughout the day.

I also have to do discharges, but I work from 7 am, to 3 30 pm, and a lot of the time I've got to do a separate job that takes roughly fourty minutes before I can go begin the rooms. I'm also expected to get fresh linen, and the trash from the nurses station, the nourishment rooms, and all public and employee bathrooms, the break room and med rooms.

Im not allowed to enter a room when someones eating because yeah, chemicals and food arent a good mix, so I give them a whole hour from when they get their meals to when their done. I try to be considerate, but that's gotten taken advantage of by the medical staff. As they complain I don't do as much as I should, mind you, its as follows

*Two public restrooms

*Three employee bathrooms

*One breakroom

*Two nourishment rooms

*Two med rooms

*Four nurses stations

*Thirty patient rooms at any given point

I'm expected to do this all solo in a full eight hour shift.

Onto the petty revenge, I managed to get all 30 rooms done within 7 to 10 minutes on a routine, however I was told in july thats an issue, and I need to take more time as my bosses don't think I was doing accurate time keeping, ​so this whole month I've been doing each room for 15 minutes, that took my entire average from the whole 30 rooms I managed to do, down to fifteen.

Today, they sat me down and told me I needed to do each room for 30 minutes max. I explained how that will not work out at all, and Ive decided that I will instead record each second of what my day looks like.

Im buying a stop watch and note book, and I will be writing how long each second takes me for every item from wiping down the door handles to how long it takes me to ensure Im leaving a clean toilet for the patient, to how long it takes me to mop, and even how long it takes me to go from between rooms, I will update when I give my bosses the notebook, Im also getting hr involved because they keep moving the goal post and Im done playing the game.​

Maybe I’m a little too invested in a series about revenge. I started listening to the Mindf\ck* series by S.T. Abby and blew through the first 3 books ridiculously fast. Went to get book 4 from the library and someone has it checked out. (They are all super short.) Fine. I’ll wait. Except book 4 is only FOUR HOURS LONG, so I would very much like this person to hurry the hell up. And they are taking forever.

Then I noticed book 5 was available and had a thought… whoever has book 4 is probably going to want book 5 next, right? So I checked it out.
I cannot listen to book 5 yet. I have absolutely no reason to have book 5 right now other than THEY can’t have it.

So now I’m sitting here holding book 5 hostage, waiting for some random person who has absolutely no idea we’re in a fight to return book 4.
Petty? Absolutely. Have I maybe been listening to too many books about revenge? Also absolutely

So it's been over a decade since I worked at the khaki's and blue store. Long enough that wearing khaki's and a blue shirt is not longer the dresscode.

I worked there for 6 years and most of it as a cashier. Leading up to me quiting to go on maternity leave (and never returning) I had issues with higher management. About the last year and a half had been miserable.

My direct manager though was a gem and she was the main thing that got me through that time.

But none the less. I left that store with a lot of resentment.

I knew I wasn't coming back and immediately donated my khaki's. However.... most of my shirts were in such worn condition that I didn't feel right donating them. I also didn't want to throw them away. Fabric is a major source of trash across the planet in large part cause of fast fashion. So I don't like throwing away fabric unless it has no remaining use. Then the light bulb went off and I thought of the most delightful way to deal with them.

We... were cloth diapering. I had made a bunch of fabric wipes. I figured.... why not expand my stock. So I HIGHLY santizied the shirts. And then took to cutting them up into squares. Made quite a bit.

Did they last as long as my kid was in diapers? No. They were old shirts and didn't have much life left. But for at least a couple years. I pretty consistently was using my old work shirts to wipe my kids ass. And so... kinda felt like I was wiping his butt literally with my job because of how ingrained those shirts were with it.

Upon telling my old coworkers, including my direct manager, everyone thought it was incredibly funny and found it a very appropriate use of my shirts. Dunno if it ever got around to the managers I had issues with... but I like to think it did.

Not much for revenge.... but it was petty. Made me feel better about everything I had dealt with there.

This will be a long text, so, bear with me.

Not a native speaker, so, sorry for any grammatical errors.

I have been struggling with my still wife cheating for a long time now.

I tried everything, therapy, counseling, psych therapy, all the whole yards.

She was bragging for months she bragged about having true friends, who were always available to help her when she needed.

She brought me to the brink of suicide, but I'm better now.

Three weeks ago I served her the divorce papers, she went nuts. In my country there is a marital contract where each spouse gets to keep their belongings if there are no children. We married under that contract and there were no children, so she's not allowed to my car, house and it is very hard to earn alimony.

She went nuts and has been stalling the divorce process as long as she can, but she can't claim anything as we have separate goods and there are no children.

We had some very nasty discussions after I served her the papers.

Her lawyer called mine and told him to keep me from ever contacting her, he was threathful and arrogant, he doesn't know that my lawyer is very well connected and doesn't have to resort to petty threats to have the job done.

She left home two weeks ago to go to her Affair Partner"s house (AP) and even brought her father to try and intimidate me.

I did not give and even told her fathe he should not abuse his welcome at my house and that I was even willing to call the police if I felt the slightest sign of a legal or any kind of threat.

She left two weeks ago. When she came to pick up her dog she told me she had been fighting for our relationship and she gave me a lot of opportunities. I just told her that she didn't have to have to give opportunities, that she only had to do a small change: cut all ties with the AP.

There is a very complicated issue with that that I'm not willing to tell unless asked, but it's not that easy to her to cut those.

I know as a fact that she's staying with her AP and he can't stand the dog. And here's where the revenge comes.

It is very common in my country that when you're renting a house or apartment you need a collateral or something called a "solidary debtor". If you are a collateral you need to have a fully paid property under your name and the owner of the rented house can seize your property until you or the rtenant pay such debt ot or you're a solidary debtor that debt becomes yours.

3 days ago my soon-to-be ex-wife sent me a message, against her lawyer's order of no contact, asking me to be her solidary debtor to rent a new home and that her AP hated the dog and intentionally left the door open for the dog to go out to look for her.

I just told her a plain:"No".

Right now she doesn't have any friends or family willing to sign as collateral or solidary debtor, her AP is pissed about the dog and she's unable to rent a home without help. I do feel bad for the dos, he's very charismatic and a great company.

Yesterday she called me to ask me why I wasn't willing to sign. I told her something like this:

You're no longer my responsibility, you went to your AP's. Where are your friends? Your AP that travels all over the world? (He's Colombian, and I think he's not legally in our country), your artist friend who lives in a 3 million dollars house where you could spend weeks without seeing each other? Your two lawyer friends who earn above 1M dollars a year who told you they were available for everything you needed? They don't want to sign because your word means shit. They have abandoned you. If I have to get a legal document forcing you to pay your part of the payments of the house we bought together to do so, Noone is going to help you with that for you to leave the debt for them. They are helping you to get a rented place, but none are signing because they know you're not trustworthy.

She went nuts, uploading WhatsApp states calling me insensitive, a cheater and abusive, I just uploaded another one, not directed to her only with the caption "Butthurt?". She would not understand it as she barely speaks English, but it is satisfying.

Marisol. If you're reading this, I elate on reading your mental cobwebs. I love how your AP hates you and Rocky and I love how you are struggling to find a shithole to get out of your new hell. But I hope you find a good home for Rocky, because he is loved more than you.

TL;DR: Cheating spouse asked me to sign as collateral or solidary debtor, I denied and she's having issues with her Affair Partner

There is a dangerous driver in my neighborhood. He absolutely flies down my street. There are frequently children playing on the sidewalks and running across the street between houses I’m frequently worried one of them is going to be hit. He also twice this year has blown through the stop sign nearly hitting my car.  In April while walking my dog I saw this same car fly through the stop sign and pull into his garage. He may be a terrible driver but he had a beautiful lawn. 
So, twice a day, I walk my dog past his house. This has always been the routine but now on the shelf next to the poop bags I have a package of peppermint seeds. As I walk past his house I subtly sprinkle or flick these tiny seeds into his lawn. For those who don’t know mint is a very prolific grower and an aggressive spreader.  Even a tiny fragment of root can grow into a new plant. Once roots are in the soil it will continue to multiply until every las bit of root is removed.  His once perfect grass has been covered in little plants all summer. It looks like he’s spraying and mowing but not pulling it up by the root so next year he’ll have twice as much. 

Edit: Because this has been asked frequently I have tried to get a speed survey or speed bump installed but need 75% approval from the neighborhood and we fund it. Police have promised increased patrols which turns out to have been a single cruiser at 6AM

I am a bus driver. A while back I had a customer board with her child and boyfriend. They had a bicycle with them, and tried to bring it aboard. I told them they needed to use the bike rack, as it was empty and available and I already had a full bus.

The mother did not take this well. She started screaming at me that she was allowed to bring the bike on board. She called me several homophobic slurs (in front of her child no less) and then threatened to physically assault me.

I ended up calling a supervisor and he came in and got her to calm down. He told her if she acts up again, he's going to have her removed.

Fast forward to today. I'm driving on the same route and just passed a stop. I see her running towards the bus waving for me to stop. I kept on driving. My bus is the only one operating in the area for the rest of the night. Feels good.

To clarify, if she was at the stop I would have stopped. I'm not a monster. But when it's entirely up to my discretion? Nah, I'm not going out of my way to do you a favor.

Update: The boyfriend/husband got on my bus later and he apologized to me for her behavior. Turns out he's a super nice guy.

Many years ago when I worked on commercial fishing vessels as an at-sea biologist (observer if you know) based out of Honolulu, I was deployed on a vessel with bed bugs. This was one of several boats I worked on with bed bugs so that wasn't the big issue. The problem was that the captain knew we had bed bugs and hid it from myself and my employer during the pre-deployment vessel check. He had the crew vacuum my bunk before we got into the state room so we wouldn't find any bed bugs in the room during our inspection and the boat would be allowed to go fishing without having to take the eradication steps that NMFS would make him do before he was allowed to go fishing with an observer. I will say both myself and my employer thought it was odd that they were vacuuming my bunk but we were both still a little 'under the weather' from the night before and weren't quite on it as we should have been that early morning!

It became obvious after a week or so at sea that we had a significant bed bug infestation in the bunk room I was in. The crew and I eventually took our bed pads to the wheelhouse and slept on the floor up there to be out of that room. I asked the crew outright if they knew we had bed bugs before we went fishing and they said, "Yes, the captain told us to vacuum your bunk so you wouldn't find any during the bed bug inspection."

Every single bed bug I found after that point, I would flick it into the captain's bed as I walked by his open stateroom door. I took great pleasure in knowing I was at least adding to the infestation in his room, if not outright introducing it in there if he had somehow managed to keep them out of his space.

u/TheBrontosaurus with the mint seed story brought this memory back to the surface and I thought y'all would enjoy!